# Rafting sucks!!!!!



## mrekid

I don’t mean to sound elitist but come on guys this is a kayaking web site. At least, it was started as one. If all you rubber jockeys are so hip on flat-water pictures of boozin, then post them on a rafting website. Also why do I have to filter through a bunch of pansy ass rafting related posts before I find something kayak related. Again go glom onto some other website and let us have the buzz back.


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## Palo Duro

cant we all just get along?

Rodney King.


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## kevdog

mrekid said:


> I don’t mean to sound elitist but come on guys this is a kayaking web site. At least, it was started as one. If all you rubber jockeys are so hip on flat-water pictures of boozin, then post them on a rafting website. Also why do I have to filter through a bunch of pansy ass rafting related posts before I find something kayak related. Again go glom onto some other website and let us have the buzz back.


I don't suppose you read the recent Outside magazine article that states:
_
According to the research firm Leisure Trends Group, whitewater kayaking hit its peak in 2002, with 3.9 million paddlers spending 14 million days on the water. By 2004, (the last year before LTG changed it's survey methods), kayaker days had fallen by half_.

I'm going to make a wild assertion that many current rafters are former kayakers. Doesn't the buzz have a kayak only forum around here somewhere?


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## Wadeinthewater

mrekid said:


> I don’t mean to sound elitist but come on guys this is a kayaking web site.


Do SUP boards fit your eletist criteria?


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## mrekid

Maybe its time to start a rafting only forum!


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## kayakfreakus

Round and Round it goes


http://www.mountainbuzz.com/forums/f24/can-we-get-a-rafting-forum-25288.html


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## kevdog

What about IK's? Are they "GNAR" enough for you big guy?


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## carvedog

mrekid said:


> I don’t mean to sound elitist but come on guys this is a kayaking web site. At least, it was started as one. If all you rubber jockeys are so hip on flat-water pictures of boozin, then post them on a rafting website. Also why do I have to filter through a bunch of pansy ass rafting related posts before I find something kayak related. Again go glom onto some other website and let us have the buzz back.



I do hereby officially nominate you for "Whiner of the Year".

If you can't navigate the class 3 posts and threads that constitute this website ( ok an occasional class 4 thread pops up ) how do you ever expect to survive the class 5 world of websurfing?

You see many of us do both. Rafting and kayaking that is. I have taken several buzzards down the rivers that I run and made some terrific friends from here on the Buzz. 
Yes I was in a raft and carrying all the kitchen and food while the kayakers were cavorting and surfing. With 20 + years of doing this stuff I have been in every type of river device known except for those Creature Craft things and I would love to try that. 

Some of the more unique ways:
Inflatable pool toys. Check.
Upside down paddle boats on purpose. Check.
Sweep boats. Check.
Wooden "rafts". Check.

Obviously you define yourself by your Gnar Kayaking. A lot of us on here define ourselves by our adventures and love of the river. 
That you don't is your loss. 

Since you are the one that seems to have the problem why don't you go create your own kayak only website where you can sit and have a circle jerk with all your Kayak only buddies. There is probably one that exists already, but it may be filled already with kayakers who whine about rafters.

I'll be the guy floating past you with my wife and kids sucking down an ice cold beer. This time.


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## CUBuffskier

no actually rafting doesn't suck


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## Riparian

> If all you *rubber jockeys* are so hip...


You are sooo mean!


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## jmalefyt

The reason you have to filter through a bunch of rafting posts to find a kayaking post is that you are out-numbered. That should have been pretty obvious to a smart elitist kayaker like you.


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## jmalefyt

I had no idea that gnar kayakers were such whiners...


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## mlmercer

Hey 'mre' kid, think of us rafters when you're driving home from the river next weekend. As your belly is knotting itself up from the raunchy booty beers you swilled...

I'll be chillin' with my Lady at our riverside camp. She'll be in awesome spirits after a delightful day floating down the river. After such a pleasant day, she thinks I'm pretty much the greatest man on earth...and she'll be showing me just how she feels later.

We'll enjoy some wine and a gourmet meal together...cuz I got mad supplies in my cooler and I know how to use them. Afterward we'll retire to the roaring fire where we'll make sexy time under the stars...

Yea...rafting really sucks...keep telling yourself that


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## kevdog

mlmercer said:


> Hey 'mre' kid, think of us rafters when you're driving home from the river next weekend. As your belly is knotting itself up from the raunchy booty beers you swilled...
> 
> I'll be chillin' with my Lady at our riverside camp. She'll be in awesome spirits after a delightful day floating down the river. After such a pleasant day, she thinks I'm pretty much the greatest man on earth...and she'll be showing me just how she feels later.
> 
> We'll enjoy some wine and a gourmet meal together...cuz I got mad supplies in my cooler and I know how to use them. Afterward we'll retire to the roaring fire where we'll make sexy time under the stars...
> 
> Yea...rafting really sucks...keep telling yourself that


Now that is what I am talking about!!!!


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## Chad Brendel

When ever someomne say's "I don't mean to sound like a (blank)" or "I don't mean disrespect, but" Someone is about to sound like something or someone is about to disrespect someone else.


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## Fuzzy

Love it makes a post that has nothing to do with kayaking


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## NolsGuy

Love rafting...do it all the time.


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## dograft83

Hum I bet your lady got taken away from you by a rafter. Thats the only reason I see to be a bitch about rafts and reading about them. I dont kayak any more but still like to read up and se what the kayakers are up to. Hell I even like reading about the jet ski. I like the river and everything you can do on the river. Stop bitching and have fun


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## mr. compassionate

mrekid said:


> I don’t mean to sound elitist but come on guys this is a kayaking web site. At least, it was started as one. If all you rubber jockeys are so hip on flat-water pictures of boozin, then post them on a rafting website. Also why do I have to filter through a bunch of pansy ass rafting related posts before I find something kayak related. Again go glom onto some other website and let us have the buzz back.


 
Dear Mr. Gnarly Kayaker Man,

I so glad to see you graduated from Deckers and Upper C and now feel so manly that you feel so superior to others. Lets see real pictures of you in something other than class III/flatwater and I may give you some props. I don't believe you'll be able to produce anything worthwhile...douche


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## mrekid

mr. compassionate said:


> Dear Mr. Gnarly Kayaker Man,
> 
> I so glad to see you graduated from Deckers and Upper C and now feel so manly that you feel so superior to others. Lets see real pictures of you in something other than class III/flatwater and I may give you some props. I don't believe you'll be able to produce anything worthwhile...douche


 
Wow, you sure do make a lot of assumptions!!


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## lhowemt

mrekid said:


> this is a kayaking web site. At least, it was started as one.


Imagine how the founding fathers of this country must feel (it was STARTED as a republic, with free speech, etc, etc). Come on, complain about something meaningful.


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## Jensjustduckie

Maybe Google should change their description from "Mountain Buzz - Whitewater Kayaking & Rafting Community" if it's a KAYAKER only site?


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## milo

*.........,*

.....tooliosis flare up!!!.....no creams, pills or injections can cure this not-so-rare condition.....the buzz is starting to "create vacuum" hugely.....that's "sucks" for you non-science folks......milozadik wishecouldski....


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## class 3 felon

*MREKID need your help*

Needed:

Safety kayaker for Pimphouse-Ranch del Ghetto Run
Jekskier to run shuttle upriver
Reserving- Island Camp Saturday night
Warning-perpared to bring firearms to defend camp
Question- How the hell do you navigate this beast of a run?
Donations- Need $10 to cover Pumphouse and State Bridge fees
Raft Guides- stay the fuch off my boat or we'll hook your ass with a #2 bugger on 0X
Kayakers- I leave Gore Canyon for ya' that shit's to hard for this pansy

EazyE-you bagging on me this weekend!


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## sj

He's not assuming anything he's calling you out. I think it's funny as you seem to be the type that has to degenerate others to puff yourself up. So produce pictures or deal with his insinuation that you have small junk.


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## stribtw

sj said:


> So produce pictures or deal with his insinuation that you have small junk.


 
i agree,... we need to see pictures of his junk.

wait, no, pics of u crushing it like u say u do.

pics or it didnt happen!


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## rwhyman

mrekid said:


> Maybe its time to start a rafting only forum!



Since you're such a f#@king hot kayaker, maybe you should start a kayaking only website. I'm sure that since there are so many people that have a hatred for rafting, your new website will get a ton of traffic. Especially with such a studly dude as the webmaster. 
By the way, who is holding a gun to your head and making you read the buzz.


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## raymo

mrekid said:


> I don’t mean to sound elitist but come on guys this is a kayaking web site. At least, it was started as one. If all you rubber jockeys are so hip on flat-water pictures of boozin, then post them on a rafting website. Also why do I have to filter through a bunch of pansy ass rafting related posts before I find something kayak related. Again go glom onto some other website and let us have the buzz back.


I understand, you must have four x-wives too, and it does not get any easyer.


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## caspermike

Im mrekid, most rafters do suck the honcho with there leisurely beers floats as they bask in their ever over larging ego while "floating" down a stink hole of over industrialization!. hittin up the class 2 and a quarter B*tchs yeah.. i don't believe in no booty beer. " they can keep that retarded rule ill eat my wifes itch cream". i respect the boater that can connect on a deeper level of understanding(ei bad ass rafters who don't lactate out of their mammory glands.) so not all rafters are pansies but for the ones that aren't id be watching out youll get stuck with joe mommas uncle's cousin newphew who's to busy worrying about his panties than getting to the river. so rafters have fun with your rubbers while we are pounding away the strokes and getting in their deep. nothing better than kayaking. because you can't go here.... 








or here... 








or here....








or here....


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## Palo Duro

Lock, load, pull.


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## Riparian

Just curious Mikey, have you ever gone on a multiday river trip?


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## caspermike

not by raft my friend. and my idea of multiple day run is not one run over 3 days its 3 days with 7 different runs. different psychology!

and don't take it to heart unless you are one of the above that isn't the rafter i would beable to see eye to eye with.


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## brendodendo

Mike... did you just blow your own alias. I'm really confused. Kayakers hate me? I carry the beer and gear. 
Now, on the same note, I really could care less about pics of you and your buddy fly fishing on the Roaring Fork. Bumping sweet pics in favor of your own "tame" adventure is lame. Post those under your own photo gallery, not the public gallery.


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## dak_sunset

No rafting does not suck. But people that can't read do. If you go to the home/portal page of this site, what does the title say?

"Whitewater Kayaking & Rafting Community"

Class V foot in mouth.


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## Riparian

Yep, it is a "different psychology" to do individual day trips and sleep in the comfort of your bed and not fall asleep and wake up to the sound of the river and be surrounded by canyon walls and the complete riparian experience 24/7. They are very different experiences. Would I say one is superior to the other? Nope. Different strokes, you know?


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## caspermike

Who says i don't sleep next to a river? i guess the car takes away from the experience but seriously get grip you pansy. if you aren't the mammory lactating rafter than whats your deal? its going to get people fired up its the buzz


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## cadster

It does look like the numbers are against the "extreme".

See Whitewater Kayaking's Decline | Outside Online




kevdog said:


> I don't suppose you read the recent Outside magazine article that states:
> 
> _According to the research firm Leisure Trends Group, whitewater kayaking hit its peak in 2002, with 3.9 million paddlers spending 14 million days on the water. By 2004, (the last year before LTG changed it's survey methods), kayaker days had fallen by half_.
> 
> I'm going to make a wild assertion that many current rafters are former kayakers. Doesn't the buzz have a kayak only forum around here somewhere?


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## Palo Duro

Not seeing compasion here, is this hope and change that we we were promised?


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## Riparian

> but seriously get grip you pansy. if you aren't the mammory lactating rafter than whats your deal?


Well damn, look's live I've lactated all over my keyboard! Had I known about this horrible side effect of pansy rafting, I would have taken up kayaking instead.

kljdfjdfskjldfsjkldfsjkdfsjklj0erjklkfgjkfkljdfjklsdf

Ooops, sorry! The cat just jumped up and started licking up the milky mess from the keyboard. I'm just so upset, I'm going to have to go get my nails done to make me feel better about myself! 8)


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## Demosthenes

I have no problem with rafters unless they FUCKING RUN ME OVER! Twice, and I say TWICE I have been playboating at Smelter and gotten run over. TWICE I've had to swim. I understand that upstream boats have the right of way, but seriously now. 

I appreciate them for supplying me with beer on long overnight trips, of which I am extremely fond. HOWEVER, I HAVE SERIOUS PROBLEM WITH INDIVIDUALS, ESPECIALLY RAFTERS WHO DO NOT DRINK THEIR BOOTY BEERS! 

A RAFTER WHO DOESN'T DRINK THEIR BOOTY BEERS AUTOMATICALLY TAKES A STEP TOWARDS BECOMING RICHARD SIMMONS' BUTT BUDDY. 

Sorry I'm so fired up, just decided to call in sick to work and get drunk.


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## nmalozzi

Demosthenes said:


> I have no problem with rafters unless they FUCKING RUN ME OVER! Twice, and I say TWICE I have been playboating at Smelter and gotten run over. TWICE I've had to swim. I understand that upstream boats have the right of way, but seriously now.


Did you drink your booty beer for those swims?


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## GoodTimes

Man I love these threads!!! Always started by some punk ass "kid" that really doesn't appreciate all that is rivers. Their heads are too stuck in the "gnar zone" to appreciate what we (atleast most of us) love. Where's CoSurf "God", he loves this shit.

This site was started for all that love rivers and everything that they offer....if it was intended to be only kayakers, then it would have been labeled "kayakbuzz".....Frenchy's primarily a kayaker.....Hmmmmmm

I've been rowing for 20+, kayaking for 13.......I love em both.......I hooked my wife with a rafting approach (amongst a few other things). She's a kayaker and was before I met her. She had this silly little "rule"...."kayakers don't date kayakers".......because that was her thing, she didn't want some dude infringing upon her weekends. My reply???? "Don't worry babe, I'm a rafter".......hook, line and sinker!!! 

My wife thinks my kayaking is sexy.......but she finds my rafting skills even SEXIER!!!! Dig it. I can't tell you how friggen cool it is to have my wife paddle up to my rig and take a pull off my beer.

Cmike....I can enjoy that shit too.....I also get the pleasure of the above mentioned.


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## Demosthenes

nmalozzi said:


> Did you drink your booty beer for those swims?


OOOOO Now you're trash talking. I certainly did. ANY and I mean ANY out of boat experience deserves a booty beer. ANYBODY who thinks otherwise is a moron and probably a front ranger pussy. After all, booty beers are fun. Mostly its watching your friends drink booty beers, but who doesn't enjoy a good buzz for the ride home?

I need to get out of my house. I'm gonna go playboating.


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## carvedog

You guys with your circle-jerking-booty-beering-holier-than-thou attitudes crack me up.

Ooooohhhh. You have to be cool. 

I run over every fucking kayaker I can. If I can't miss them that is. 
Especially if I can make them swim so they feel compelled to drink the Boot. 
Good God I am glad I am in Idaho. We all get along without the 'tude.

Give it a try some time. I know you are all badazz Colorado-Wyoming Gnar boaters. 

I am actually shopping for a new kayak right now. I have to find one for my 8 year old first. Of course we will be starting one class 1 and 2 runs. Sorry that isn't rad enough for you. And no she will not have to drink the boot. We are trying to make it friendly and fun. 

Really try it sometime. Friendly and Fun. It works.


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## GoodTimes

Demosthenes said:


> I have no problem with rafters unless they FUCKING RUN ME OVER! Twice, and I say TWICE I have been playboating at Smelter and gotten run over. TWICE I've had to swim. I understand that upstream boats have the right of way, but seriously now.


But seriously now.........how ridiculously EASY is it for you to get off the wave. I don't know smelter....haven't been there.....but I can tell you that eddying out in a raft isn't quite as easy. What do you expect....the raft to eddy out for your pleasure??? If you paid attention and pulled off the wave in time, you could be right back on it in less than 10 friggen seconds (the amount of time it takes a raft to drift through). Give me a break.....don't be sour because you were selfish.

Oh....and booty beers is a retarded "tradition". They weren't around when I started boating....


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## nmalozzi

Demosthenes said:


> OOOOO Now you're trash talking. I certainly did. ANY and I mean ANY out of boat experience deserves a booty beer. ANYBODY who thinks otherwise is a moron and probably a front ranger pussy. After all, booty beers are fun. Mostly its watching your friends drink booty beers, but who doesn't enjoy a good buzz for the ride home?
> 
> I need to get out of my house. I'm gonna go playboating.


Heh Heh...
Knew that would get a rise out of ya. Really wasn't trash talking though, just wanted to push some buttons. Enjoy the afternoon man, drink one for us 303 twat waffles.


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## caspermike

nmalozzi you still don't qualify as 303 sorry borther


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## Demosthenes

GoodTimes said:


> Oh....and booty beers is a retarded "tradition". They weren't around when I started boating....


And he is from Pueblo West! *A FRONT RANGER! HA!*


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## GoodTimes

Demosthenes said:


> And he is from Pueblo West! *A FRONT RANGER! HA!*


What's this......your fourth season?????

Oh, and I know PLENTY of west sloper's that think it's retarded too...

I'm with Carvedog.....what's with all the "tude".......I wish I lived in Idaho.


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## caspermike

drinking the booty is not retarded. i can't wait for the smack down on the naysayers


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## JBL

caspermike said:


> drinking the booty is not retarded. i can't wait for the smack down on the naysayers


Lighten up, Francis.


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## yourrealdad

Mike are you saying you are mrekid or that you agree with him? Your first post says you are him. I am confused.


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## caspermike

i left out the with.


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## Demosthenes

GoodTimes said:


> But seriously now.........how ridiculously EASY is it for you to get off the wave. I don't know smelter....haven't been there.....but I can tell you that eddying out in a raft isn't quite as easy. What do you expect....the raft to eddy out for your pleasure??? If you paid attention and pulled off the wave in time, you could be right back on it in less than 10 friggen seconds (the amount of time it takes a raft to drift through). Give me a break.....don't be sour because you were selfish.
> 
> Oh....and booty beers is a retarded "tradition". They weren't around when I started boating....


You are heathen scum. When the isreallites left Egypt after the entire Frogs/Pharoh/First Born Son/Moses incident, they survived for 4 years in the desert in Sinai not on Mana as some twisted fuckers like you might say, but instead on booty beers. On the first night in the wilderness booties rained down from heaven. On the second night, PBRs in leaky ziplock bags rained down. The jews had nothing to put the ziplocked PBRs into except the booties. For four years they subsisted on PBR booty beers. Every time we swim, we praise our lord by drinking booty beers to honor him.


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## rwhyman

Demosthenes said:


> You are heathen scum. When the isreallites left Egypt after the entire Frogs/Pharoh/First Born Son/Moses incident, they survived for 4 years in the desert in Sinai not on Mana as some twisted fuckers like you might say, but instead on booty beers. On the first night in the wilderness booties rained down from heaven. On the second night, PBRs in leaky ziplock bags rained down. The jews had nothing to put the ziplocked PBRs into except the booties. For four years they subsisted on PBR booty beers. Every time we swim, we praise our lord by drinking booty beers to honor him.


So is that why PBR tastes like goat piss?


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## gh

Good grief, are we really this far into the offseason to get this crap started? You know the only thing that cracks me up is to see how long it takes for someone to mention Frenchy's name, its like they know the magic bean. It doesn't matter what the intention of this site was in the beginning, what it is now is a multi-use site that outdoor people come to discuss their various activities. If you weren't bitching about rafters, you would be bitching about Texans, Front Rangers or something. Your a whitewater addict and your fix is leaving you. Go to rehab.


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## PARKER

demosthenes,you need to start working it out under the raft. Either get out of the way or learn to rodeo longer so you don't freak out and pull up your skirt when you get bumped by the friend many of us call a raft. 

These two debated crafts are symbiotic. Get out a little more and you'll realize life is good whether hucking or floating. in both cases I find people are the common demoninator and the rio the medium for bringing it together. 

by the way, how is the playboating a smelter these days?


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## Don

*Rafting*

You got run over twice by a raft? You have a river knife right? There is more than one way to remove a raft when it is stuck on something. They will never mess with you again, and it's just self defense. :twisted:

I for one think if you really a water guy you can do it in any boat. Raft, kayak, IK, or canoe it doesn't matter. It's all class III if you stay on line.


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## GoodTimes

Demosthenes said:


> You are heathen scum. When the isreallites left Egypt after the entire Frogs/Pharoh/First Born Son/Moses incident, they survived for 4 years in the desert in Sinai not on Mana as some twisted fuckers like you might say, but instead on booty beers. On the first night in the wilderness booties rained down from heaven. On the second night, PBRs in leaky ziplock bags rained down. The jews had nothing to put the ziplocked PBRs into except the booties. For four years they subsisted on PBR booty beers. Every time we swim, we praise our lord by drinking booty beers to honor him.


That's pretty funny......

Although I doubt the gods (of any religion) really care if we drink a beer out of our funknasty booties.

Yes....I am a twisted fucker.

Oh, and by the way....the whole "front range" thing????? Yeah, most people don't even claim Pueblo as a city in this state....how long have you lived here??


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## mr. compassionate

GoodTimes said:


> That's pretty funny......
> 
> Although I doubt the gods (of any religion) really care if we drink a beer out of our funknasty booties.
> 
> Yes....I am a twisted fucker.
> 
> Oh, and by the way....the whole "front range" thing????? Yeah, most people don't even claim Pueblo as a city in this state....how long have you lived here??


 
Pueblo, where all the men have herpes and all the woman are on Meth...or welfare.


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## GoodTimes

mr. compassionate said:


> Pueblo, where all the men have herpes and all the woman are on Meth...or welfare.


EXACTLY....we're all nasty here.....just illustrates that the whole "front range" thing doesn't really apply to us. We're the bastard sons of Colorado. I don't even have to ask for you all to stay away....there is nothing for you here.....it's just well known.

That must be why when I go to the play park most guys from Co. Springs won't talk to me????


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## caspermike

colorado springs is the shit. as in shit hole


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## Snowhere

GoodTimes said:


> EXACTLY....we're all nasty here.....


I thought that was Trinidad?



GoodTimes said:


> That must be why when I go to the play park most guys from Co. Springs won't talk to me????


See above!

F man, I was supposed to leave work at 4 so I could kayak! Oh, well, I guess I will start packing tonight so I can take my son rafting this weekend. Oh snap! I guess I am not allowed to do both!


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## carvedog

caspermike said:


> drinking the booty is not retarded. i can't wait for the smack down on the naysayers


Look at how it makes you type. Although your spelling has seemed to improve and punctional is always optional. 

Too bad you wishing a smack down on me. I don't worship your booty and never will. 

Take your booty stank on that one and smoke it.


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## cold77

GoodTimes said:


> This site was started for all that love rivers and everything that they offer....


Right on! Mountain buzz is bout mountains and water and the wild side of life.

so to really annoy the nar-nar yakkers, how about some walking and rafting in a race?

YouTube - 2009 Alaska Mountain Wilderness Classic


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## nmalozzi

caspermike said:


> nmalozzi you still don't qualify as 303 sorry borther




Westminster Area Codes - Colorado


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## SqEarly

"Kayaking is so much cooler" Dude is douche!


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## caspermike

sqearly you are at 11 posts learn what the buzz is about idiot.


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## jmalefyt

So to know the buzz you must be a frequent poster?? It would seem to me that to know the buzz you should be on the river frequently... Hmmm...


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## GoodTimes

caspermike said:


> sqearly you are at 11 posts learn what the buzz is about idiot.


Waaaaiiiittt a minute......is that it????? NOW I get it....I had NO idea number of posts = river knowledge, OR = shit talking ability, OR = allowed to chime in.

MAN, I wish I would have figured that out a long time ago......maybe I'd be more popular.


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## caspermike

you guys need to learn how to take shit and give shit... you guys are major pansies maybe thats what he was referring to ahhh.. wait no it has to be the craft on the river he's pissed at. you guys don't understand subect verb?

reread pansy
If all you rubber jockeys are so hip on flat-water pictures of boozin, then post them on a rafting website. Also why do I have to filter through a bunch of pansy ass rafting related posts before I find something kayak related.


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## jmalefyt

i lik kiaking awesm am i you al suk i have 456436 posts


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## nmalozzi

caspermike said:


> you guys need to learn how to take shit and give shit... you guys are major pansies maybe thats what he was referring to ahhh.. wait no it has to be the craft on the river he's pissed at. you guys don't understand subect verb?


i have no idea what you just said, but wanted to take the time to say the following...

i agree that rafting sucks. i really hated it on sunday when a bunch of awesome people forced me to eat their food and drink their beer, and then guide them down the river in a raft. it was so annoying being up so high and to feel my feet, and damn the food was too good to enjoy. yea, i hate rafting too... it is totally lame.


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## cadster

You could go to the TGR forum that is only called kayak:
Kayak - Teton Gravity Research Forums


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## stribtw

bootie beers is gay and ******!


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## caspermike

better get some more menus up on the whitewater board!

i didn't know a booty beer could be anysort of sexuallity. so if the booty beer is said "gay" than what is not drinking a booty beer?

bunch of touchy feely rafters taking the shit talking a alittle personal. here's some advice grab whatever is left of that shrivled up sack and pull. some grapes might pop out of the mangina and suprise you but you'll be okey.

anybody want to compare places rafts can go that a kayak can't?


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## robks

stribtw said:


> bootie beers is gay and ******!


 
Iron Sheik reference?


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## MCSkid

Demosthenes said:


> I have no problem with rafters unless they FUCKING RUN ME OVER! Twice, and I say TWICE I have been playboating at Smelter and gotten run over. TWICE I've had to swim. I understand that upstream boats have the right of way, but seriously now.
> 
> ok demosthenes since it sounds like your kinda new to this boating thing here's how the rules go. you get run over by a raft and they make you swim you owe the guide of that raft a case of beer, that's the law. raft guides love nothing more that seeing a cryaker in a hole/wave and running them over, it's alot of fun, you should give it a try. only thing that sucks is you cryakers never seem to pay up. in all my years of guiding i never had one of you worthless fucks pay up, and there are alot of you out there that owe me a case. you see a raft coming get out of the way, it's easy, real easy, i ain't no good and i never have even come close to having to pay any guide a case.


----------



## caspermike

and to set the record straight rafting is about as fun as a friday night with crusted butthole skidmark's mother inlaw!


----------



## MCSkid

caspermike, for a young buck you seem like a surley old fuck like me, i like that! but kid you should make friends with some rafters. i've run a bit of that cool guy class 5 but there ain't no better trip than 21 days in the ditch. 90% flatwater, you sit on a raft drinkin', puffin', seal launch above the rapids, then hop back on and repeat, for 21 days. it don't get no better than that. but don't be a lazy crakyer, bust you ass loading and unloading the rafts.


----------



## rwhyman

And seven days on a high water Middle Fork ain't bad either.


----------



## Fuzzy

you can't get a drunk horse in a kayak


----------



## hillmooley

*snap*

PLEASE...Mimercer,Goodtimes and Caspermike...post up a sexy nudy pic of the broads ya spoke of in your post.....it helps me relax...big..big..thanks...Mauler


----------



## brendodendo

I don't understand. RiverWrangler posted some sweet pics. Now some newby, obejoyful, post some of the dorkiest photos I have seen on the buzz in a while. POST PHOTOS OF AVERAGE QUALITY AND DORKINESS TO YOUR OWN GALLERY.

Here is how> photos> upload> chose picture> choose category> select MEMBERS PHOTO ALBUMS > check box for do not show on home page

Now can somebody post a cool pic so I do not have to look at OBeDorkful on top of a mountain


----------



## Riparian

> but seriously get grip you pansy. if you aren't the mammory lactating rafter than whats your deal?


So there I was, minding my own bidness here on The Buzz, when this guy from Wyoming blurts out that I'm a "mammory lactating rafter". Well I kinda chuckled to myself, but before I stopped laughing, I started lactating all over my keyboard! Even some on the damned monitor. What a mess! As you might imagine, I'm bummed. Seriously bummed. I'd always thought of myself as a pretty manly man, but now all the sudden I'm nothin' more than a "mammory lactating rafter". 

Well, to make a long story short, felt this odd compulsion to go get my nails done. Weird. So I did. I'm sitting in the chair, recounting the horror story to Madge, my new beautician, and she says (in her inimitable style), "Honey, get yo'self a breast pump and put that stuff in the fridge".

Then I had a flash of brilliance: kayaker chicks who have fresh babies are so damned manly, they can't lactate. Me? I'm a rafter pansy dude. I'm squirting this stuff out like Elsie the Freakin' Cow. So I'm thinking, "there's *GOLD* in them thar manboobs!" So I got me a breast pump down at the WalMart Superstore, the fridge is full, and I'm going to supplement my welfare checks with Grade A "mammory lactating rafter" milk. In fact, since there are so many girly man rafters on this exclusive kayaker website, I'm thinking we should form a co-op and go bigtime! 

Whaddya think?

Sincerely,

Riparian
Mamm*a*ry Lactating Rafter/Milkman Supremo


----------



## GoodTimes

hillmooley said:


> PLEASE...Mimercer,Goodtimes and Caspermike...post up a sexy nudy pic of the broads ya spoke of in your post.....it helps me relax...big..big..thanks...Mauler


Ain't no way I'm posting pics of my wife on the buzz........eeeewwww, I don't like to think of you "relaxing" to my wife. 

OH SNAP....wait a minute....I do have one pic that's respectable.....whack away Mauler.


----------



## BmfnL

I want to get a graphic of a big toothy mouth under the front of my next raft - like a WWII plane. Maybe some little kayak symbols in a row down the side as I racks up my kilz...


----------



## randomnature

*Extreme Sports*

Is Naked Rafting extreme enough for a rooty-toot-round-up kayaker?


----------



## BmfnL

If you're not wearing sunscreen that's way too extreme for me.


----------



## SBlue

Here's one Perdido left us. Miss that irreverent bastard. Recycling.........

__
Sensitive content, not recommended for those under 18
Show Content


----------



## carvedog

caspermike said:


> you guys need to learn how to take shit and give shit... you guys are major pansies maybe thats what he was referring to ahhh.. wait no it has to be the craft on the river he's pissed at. you guys don't understand subect verb?
> 
> reread pansy
> If all you rubber jockeys are so hip on flat-water pictures of boozin, then post them on a rafting website. Also why do I have to filter through a bunch of pansy ass rafting related posts before I find something kayak related.



Here you go CM. My wife has pansies. She loves pansies. I love her panties and what's in them. 
Not the same. Me not pansy. Me no like pansy. Me not know what subect is. Or subect verb. 

Me not even smart enough to run rubber. Me boat is plastic just like my kayak. 

To address the why do you have to filter ....
any dirtbag with a couple hundred bucks can be a kayaker. Even a gnar, gnar kayaker if they can fit their balls into their kayak. 

That's why I had to get a raft. The trend in downsizing kayaks in the last 15 years forced me to give up new boats and either paddle an old invader or an RPm or something with the volume to handle my manliness. 

Oh yeah usually rafters make and spend a lot more money on shit than kayakers so they have something known as economic clout. This makes rafters, as a demographic, more valuable to market to than cryakers. 

And their breath is usually a little sweeter smelling from the Crown or Tequilla they sipping ( which I carry in the glass in my plastic raft), instead of the warm Pber and stank boot smell known to permeate most yakkers.


----------



## Coon

*I don't get it?*

Sounds cliche, but::: Can't we all just get along? I don't get the drama.

The way I see it is that Rafter & Yakers have a symbiotic relationship.
My boyfriend's a yaker, and I'm a rafter, and while I may give him a hard time occasionally (i joke that he's a floating piece of debris)... it's all in good fun and I immensely enjoy being on the river with Kayakers. In fact, most of my river buddies are yakers. 

~Julie


----------



## GoodTimes

**** said:


> Sounds cliche, but::: Can't we all just get along? I don't get the drama.
> 
> The way I see it is that Rafter & Yakers have a symbiotic relationship.
> My boyfriend's a yaker, and I'm a rafter, and while I may give him a hard time occasionally (i joke that he's a floating piece of debris)... it's all in good fun and I immensely enjoy being on the river with Kayakers. In fact, most of my river buddies are yakers.
> 
> ~Julie


I'm preeeetty sure most peeps are just giving each other a hard time....atleast that's the way I see it....just good fun. I'm even more sure that if I met any of these shit-talkin', raft hatin', scumbag yakers out on the river and/or spent some time on a multi with them....everything would be alllllllll goooooood!!!! 

Carvedog.....that was funny shit...."my manliness doesn't fit in a little kayak".


----------



## hillmooley

*hoy*

Carvedog...qiut bragging and sack up pansy pics of this doll....you got me curious....thanks sport...Mauler


----------



## Brotorboat

I thought about adding to this thread hours ago...and now I am glad that I waited.

GoodTimes - I'm glad you said what you did in your last post. Even though I am still technically new around here...I realize that a lot of these posts are sarcastic in nature.

I would like to say this however...

I never knew Derk "Count" Slottow personally...and I really wish that I did. And there is no doubt that a LOT of you on this thread knew him personally...either as a friend...a fellow kayaker..or someone that gave you advice and beta on a new run or a new piece of equipment...I read every single thing that was said about him after his passing...truly remarkable. He has become somewhat of a legend in my eyes...when I have free time at work...I often go back and read his old posts...I can not stress enough how much I wish I could have met him.

I think EVERYONE would agree that Derk was a badass...and hands down a gift from whatever awaits us when our time is up.

I think from now on...before we open our mouths..we should simply ask OURSELVES..

What would Derk do?
What would Derk say?

Like I said..I didn't know him...but I think he would encourage people to just be on the river and to be humble to one another... and learn from one another.

For those of you that get pleasure from putting others down...your time will come...and when it does...I promise that no one will be trying to build a memorial for you. No one will start a thread that will yield over a hundred stories. They won't have to have a service for you at conference center...because only your like minded punk friends will come to say goodbye.

How do you want people to remember you when your gone?? 

I had the pleasure of volunteering to be a support RAFT for 1st Descents last weekend.
Seeing everyones faces as they ran their first rapids..is something I will never forget. You could easily tell that cancer was the LAST thing they were thinking about...

Those kids/young adults are way more GNAR than all of us. 

I would love to see some of you tell them that they are pansies for only runnin class II-III. Or that rafting sucks...

Karma is a real bitch sometimes...some of you should walk around with rearview mirrors.

Matty

BTW- I was lucky enough to have the oppurtunity to row for them...as a result of them posting HERE ON THE BUZZ


----------



## ranchman44

*wow!!!!*

some us get older and are not as able to kayak as we once did . I really like to see what the younger generation is doing and I am amazed . I am now still kayaking but not as radical as I used to . 
I NOW RAFT KAYAK.SHRED AND CANOE . BUT i WAS ALWAYS CURTIOUS AND RESECTFUL OF ANY ONE THAT WANTED TO FLOAT . We are really just one big family and in that family we will always have some that do not respect the river . but over all most people respect the river . Wait til you are into your 60's and I doubt that you feel the same way.
But I hope to see you on the river and enjoy your hot dogging .
PS I don't drink and I always wear a helmet .


----------



## rwhyman

GoodTimes said:


> I'm preeeetty sure most peeps are just giving each other a hard time....atleast that's the way I see it....just good fun. I'm even more sure that if I met any of these shit-talkin', raft hatin', scumbag yakers out on the river and/or spent some time on a multi with them....everything would be alllllllll goooooood!!!!


That's the way I see it. Just some people giving each other a little shit. All in good fun. I'd be happy to share the river with anybody I give shit to. 
Well, except maybe one guy that thinks I should blow him. And I'd even boat with him as long as I had my steel panties on.


----------



## raftus

caspermike said:


> Im mrekid, most rafters do suck the honcho with there leisurely beers floats as they bask in their ever over larging ego while "floating" down a stink hole of over industrialization!. hittin up the class 2 and a quarter B*tchs yeah.. i don't believe in no booty beer. " they can keep that retarded rule ill eat my wifes itch cream". i respect the boater that can connect on a deeper level of understanding(ei bad ass rafters who don't lactate out of their mammory glands.) so not all rafters are pansies but for the ones that aren't id be watching out youll get stuck with joe mommas uncle's cousin newphew who's to busy worrying about his panties than getting to the river. so rafters have fun with your rubbers while we are pounding away the strokes and getting in their deep. nothing better than kayaking. because you can't go here....
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> or here...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> or here....
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> or here....


All raftable, just give me another season or two...


----------



## raymo

rwhyman said:


> That's the way I see it. Just some people giving each other a little shit. All in good fun. I'd be happy to share the river with anybody I give shit to.
> Well, except maybe one guy that thinks I should blow him. And I'd even boat with him as long as I had my steel panties on.


Talking about panties,after a long multi-day trip all I want to do is rip my wife's panties off, because they start riding up my crotch, something awful.


----------



## skibuminwyo

It is all about the love of the river. I don't care what craft you are in as long as you are on the water.


----------



## Snowhere

skibuminwyo said:


> It is all about the love of the river. I don't care what craft you are in as long as you are on the water.


Ditto, but you got it all wrong now.....now it is all about giving CM a hard time because he prefers to drink his beer out of his booty! McNasty boot funk is the new wyoming state beverage for all Casperites! Shit man, it is a good thing my relatives do not frequent this here buzz, or they would give me hell when I meet them for some lame ass water skiing next week on Glendo.....That and I will be happily making sand castles with my kids....We can't be extreme all our lives......


----------



## Demosthenes

Three things

1) I will NEVER give a case of beer to ANY raft guide that runs me over. Especially when that raft guide is a 14 year old on summer break. ESPECIALLY ESPECIALLY ESPECIALLY if that guide doesn't drink booty beers after swims. 

2) I don't understand how what the HUGE objection to booty beers is. It essentially combines two of my favorite activities drinking, and hazing. Its also hilarious. Having some Pueblo jackass tell me that this is "retarded". Maybe when he can get his wife to shave her mustache and he stops calling the rusty ford in the backyard "the living room" he can talk to me about booty beers. 

3) Waking up hungover at 10 PM is not fun.


----------



## GoodTimes

A little sensitive aren't we???

You obviously subscribe to the sophomoric fraternity/sorority "hazing" rituals. Even a Pueblo jackass is smart enough not to be effected by peer pressure.

Oh, I fiiiiinaly got my wife to shave her mustache last night after I showed her your post, she was a little embarrased.....next is the armpits....hopefully (crossing my fingers).  Ford's suck, it's a 76' Chevy.


----------



## bookmillone

you don't seem as much like an elitist as you do a f****ng douche bag. good luck finding a boater to carry your shit on a multi-day ass-hole


----------



## rwhyman

Anybody notice it was a full moon last night?

Maybe that explains the direction of this thread.


----------



## caspermike

there is some really touchy rafters on here. late night at Brother's down in canon or what? and if anybody has a problem with a booty beer than here's some advice, quite being an elitest douch bagget! you bunch of hypocritical hypocondriacal insomniac pansy's


----------



## stribtw

robks said:


> Iron Sheik reference?


 
bingo.

a little over-reactive hostility for ya.


----------



## caspermike

what sucks more than SUP. ........ .. .... rafting


----------



## lhowemt

caspermike said:


> there is some really touchy rafters on here.


You make me think of a guy in an abusive relationship. Slaps girlfriend/wife! Then says, oh honey, why do you flinch when I swing my arms around?


----------



## dograft83

Caspermike You can call me a pansy all You want. They are the toughest things around. So thanks for calling us rafting non booty drinking pansy's Better that being some *** yaker that Gets his shit ran over and has to swim because of another yaker....Oh and it was a girl to yep you are super hardcore and us rafters are the tought shits around just liking to have fun and play pac man with the kayakers.


----------



## caspermike

dog rafter you're to pussy to say that to my face i bet. and your swim will be coming dbag. btw it was a race and thats called going for it. and if you were there there was multiple roll attemps and i was just that run over. you care more than i do. now thats funny! i wouldn't be talking about someone else's swim. also that girl would put you to shame girly man!

and how does calling you rafeters touchy make me an abuser? hmmmm.....im confused. you rafters are truely a bunch of pussies who can't handle a little trash talk. that makes since cause most of you can't handle the excitement of class 4 yet alone think straight in a chaotic situation.


----------



## class 3 felon

caspermike said:


> hypocritical hypocondriacal insomniac pansy's


Nice use of 5, 6 and 4 syllable words all spelled correctly then you flamed on the two syllable "Pansies" Why do I get the impression that you really can spell when you need to, quit posing as being illiterate.


----------



## Palo Duro

I'm in on the Co-op-Rip, i hope it don't turn out like the ''beer'' bust-in deal. I was thirsty then too!

Ahh, one of natures wonders!


----------



## gapers

Whats gay'er than a bag of multi-colored buttplugs?---Caspermike and this thread


----------



## caspermike

ohh good one, spreading more of your gayness.since thats all you can do. BTW gaper we care less about your bag of "goodies" you received second hand from dograft83's mother


----------



## raymo

I know this is all arm-chair posting. I raft more than kayak and do not care what someone else thinks about rafters. But in an emergency situation, Caspermikes personality would make him the first one to respond and not just stand and watch.


----------



## Snowhere

I am sure Caspermike is a stand up guy on the river.

He just becomes a e-thug on here!


----------



## caspermike

heres a hint its the buzz. what the hell do most of you expect? a bouqet of flowers and peice of cherry cheesecake?


----------



## Jensjustduckie

Maybe a kiss on the cheek, lol.


----------



## caspermike

thats easy. and only for the ladies. the rest of you boneheads get a swift kick to the balls.


----------



## carvedog

caspermike said:


> thats easy. and only for the ladies. the rest of you boneheads get a swift kick to the balls.


Note to self must add a couple of layers of Kevlar to the nomex before I go to CO.


----------



## rwhyman

i before e, except after c

And cm is a cowboy, not a greenie


----------



## caspermike

use to live in fort so i guess im partial greenie.


----------



## rwhyman

Thought you were moving to Montana?


----------



## caspermike

never said i wasn't, what the hell writing a book?

trying to get a milk man job
and to set the record straight rafting sucks!!!!!!


----------



## rwhyman

Just trying to keep track of my friends


----------



## Palo Duro

Don't forget your cup, football helmet, first aid kit, tape for your ribs, two splints, extra life-vest, water proof phone.

beer, money, steaks (peace offering).


----------



## caspermike

you forgot sheep


----------



## Riparian

A wise man once said, "The strutting banty rooster that crows the loudest generally is the smallest cock."


----------



## caspermike

does the above explain that 2 ton pickup on 24's you been driving around?


----------



## skibuminwyo

dograft83 said:


> Caspermike You can call me a pansy all You want. They are the toughest things around. So thanks for calling us rafting non booty drinking pansy's Better that being some *** yaker that Gets his shit ran over and has to swim because of another yaker....Oh and it was a girl to yep you are super hardcore and us rafters are the tought shits around just liking to have fun and play pac man with the kayakers.


Bwa!


----------



## pearen

Riparian said:


> So there I was, minding my own bidness here on The Buzz, when this guy from Wyoming blurts out that I'm a "mammory lactating rafter". Well I kinda chuckled to myself, but before I stopped laughing, I started lactating all over my keyboard! Even some on the damned monitor. What a mess! As you might imagine, I'm bummed. Seriously bummed. I'd always thought of myself as a pretty manly man, but now all the sudden I'm nothin' more than a "mammory lactating rafter".
> 
> Well, to make a long story short, felt this odd compulsion to go get my nails done. Weird. So I did. I'm sitting in the chair, recounting the horror story to Madge, my new beautician, and she says (in her inimitable style), "Honey, get yo'self a breast pump and put that stuff in the fridge".
> 
> Then I had a flash of brilliance: kayaker chicks who have fresh babies are so damned manly, they can't lactate. Me? I'm a rafter pansy dude. I'm squirting this stuff out like Elsie the Freakin' Cow. So I'm thinking, "there's *GOLD* in them thar manboobs!" So I got me a breast pump down at the WalMart Superstore, the fridge is full, and I'm going to supplement my welfare checks with Grade A "mammory lactating rafter" milk. In fact, since there are so many girly man rafters on this exclusive kayaker website, I'm thinking we should form a co-op and go bigtime!
> 
> Whaddya think?
> 
> Sincerely,
> 
> Riparian
> Mamm*a*ry Lactating Rafter/Milkman Supremo


Dude,

You can use all of that milk in your White Russians...


----------



## Riparian

pearen said:


> Dude,
> 
> You can use all of that milk in your White Russians...


Good point, but is it proper etiquette to put a "mammary lactating rafter" umbrella in a White Russian? Since I spontaneously started lactating yesterday, I find myself über conscious of etiquette and such. Oh, and I've taken up macrame.


----------



## ski_kayak365

HAHA, you guys rule. But I agree with GH. Its way to early in the season to be starting this bullshit. Coloradoin's....go get on gore, wyomingins = Mike, get on bluegrass, when the water is gone, let the boredom of the winter re-start our bashing on dumb posts until the water comes back!

Mike...guide me down those runs!
Raftus...Can I lay on your RAFT and drink beer while you plug Yule and Deepthroat?
*Riparian... Can't beat those posts!*


----------



## caspermike

we are camping at bluegrass sat night at the tunnel. huck hest all night on the 3 first waterfalls. and than heading toward poudre probably after an early morning prebaconandeggs huck hest. welcome to join. and we could maybe do it as overnight with loaded boats don't know where we could camp but i do know there is one hella good diamond indicator reading down the entire creek, for all you cheap bastards into geology and knowing what a high indicator reading means. your wife could benefit if you get extra lucky or your wallet


----------



## pearen

ski_kayak365 said:


> Raftus...Can I lay on your RAFT and drink beer while you plug Yule and Deepthroat?


Post pic in bikini...


----------



## deepsouthpaddler

Sucking sucks.

Everything else is as cool and fun as you make it.


----------



## Fuzzy

How about an air mattress


----------



## mr. compassionate

Rafting may or may not suck but squirt boating is really gay!


----------



## BoilermakerU

ski_kayak365 said:


> ...Can I lay on your RAFT and drink beer?...


I don't know what Raftus would say about his RAFT, but as far as my RAFT goes, she can :shock: :mrgreen: :



SBlue said:


>


And for the record, I don't mind "boring" pictures like that...


----------



## Fuzzy

mr. compassionate said:


> Rafting may or may not suck but squirt boating is really gay!


Great I leave tomorrow for a 10 day raft trip and i'm bringing my squirt.... my boobs hurt


----------



## Snowhere

mr. compassionate said:


> Rafting may or may not suck but squirt boating is really gay!



Says Mr. Cumsinhisass!


----------



## Riparian

Fuzzy said:


> Great I leave tomorrow for a 10 day raft trip and i'm bringing my squirt.... my boobs hurt


Ready to join the co-op?


----------



## whip

All youse bastids need to go have a beer with Bama and Joe!


----------



## GoodTimes

I really miss Demos....where is she today??? I've been waiting patiently for more degrading comments about my wife. Must be recovering from a drunken stupor from all the booty beers.


----------



## lhowemt

caspermike said:


> dog rafter you're to pussy to say that to my face i bet. and your swim will be coming dbag. btw it was a race and thats called going for it. and if you were there there was multiple roll attemps and i was just that run over. you care more than i do. now thats funny! i wouldn't be talking about someone else's swim. also that girl would put you to shame girly man!
> 
> and how does calling you rafeters touchy make me an abuser? hmmmm.....im confused. you rafters are truely a bunch of pussies who can't handle a little trash talk. that makes since cause most of you can't handle the excitement of class 4 yet alone think straight in a chaotic situation.



You [email protected] idiot. You poke/bait rafters then call them touchy when they react. On a forum. You might as well be hitting someone and wondering why they have a black eye. And you can't figure out a bit back at ya. Stupid.

Oh yeah, I have a pussy, and you don't, and you never will, and I RAFT IV+ a LOT and you'll never get a woman that does that. So go cryaking with your boyfriends and have fun. Shit, and speaking of mammary lactating, I can even run that shit with my period and you'd be going to the ER crying like a cryaker.

You're not trash talking, you're just trash. Hopefully you stay on WY, you seem to "fit in" there real well, if you know what I mean!


----------



## dograft83

caspermike said:


> dog rafter you're to pussy to say that to my face i bet. and your swim will be coming dbag. btw it was a race and thats called going for it. and if you were there there was multiple roll attemps and i was just that run over. you care more than i do. now thats funny! i wouldn't be talking about someone else's swim. also that girl would put you to shame girly man!]
> 
> Oh poor little casper mike I would love to say it to your face but seems that you are always swiming underwater. That might be why you like your booty beer and are always drinking them. I am sure on the water you are a grerat person but come on you are making your self sound like a much bigger bitch that us floating bars. I know everyt time I am out on the water I am having a great time running I to V. Sad that you think you have to be hucking your nuts to have fun on the water but oh well your deal not mine


----------



## rwhyman

lhowemt said:


> You [email protected] idiot. You poke/bait rafters then call them touchy when they react. On a forum. You might as well be hitting someone and wondering why they have a black eye. And you can't figure out a bit back at ya. Stupid.
> 
> Oh yeah, I have a pussy, and you don't, and you never will, and I RAFT IV+ a LOT and you'll never get a woman that does that. So go cryaking with your boyfriends and have fun. Shit, and speaking of mammary lactating, I can even run that shit with my period and you'd be going to the ER crying like a cryaker.
> 
> You're not trash talking, you're just trash. Hopefully you stay on WY, you seem to "fit in" there real well, if you know what I mean!


Laura, I was going to respond to that post this morning, but you did a way better job than I could have.

Nice!


----------



## Waterwindpowderrock

wow.

It is amazing how as soon as kayakers & rafters start talking about each other it degrades to a pre-school level.

People that don't act like we're all part of the same community on the river are worthless pieces of shit, kayk or raft. If you enjoy running over kayakers, you're a fucking tool. If you think you're sooooo much cooler than the rafters & you should have some sort of elevated status because you're surfing a wave, same deal.

God it gets old seeing the same conversation on here over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over.


----------



## raymo

Waterwindpowderrock said:


> wow.
> 
> It is amazing how as soon as kayakers & rafters start talking about each other it degrades to a pre-school level.
> 
> People that don't act like we're all part of the same community on the river are worthless pieces of shit, kayk or raft. If you enjoy running over kayakers, you're a fucking tool. If you think you're sooooo much cooler than the rafters & you should have some sort of elevated status because you're surfing a wave, same deal.
> 
> God it gets old seeing the same conversation on here over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over.


Caspermike started it, he did, he did, I seen him with my little eyes, he did.


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## milo

*.........*

.....tool-i-o-sis....over and over and over..........grade school shit........anybody wanna go run the BLACK CANYON(sorry i missed you nate k.)....the mighty gunny doesn't care who you are.....or what you prefer...it will eat you if you don't have your shit together.....mania, yes...lets go...it needs a clean raft descent....call me.......everyone else can go jerk it or flick your frigging bean....


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## Jason Cox

*Nerd*

I wish there was just a rafting website so I didnt have to listen to kayakers whine all the time. I am sorry we can drink beers while going down class 5 whitewater. Thats one skill you will never have. Go off a 20 foot waterfall and keep calling yourself a class 5 boater, awesome.


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## NolsGuy

Wow, who knew there were so many badasses floating the same rivers as I do?


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## Demosthenes

1) I feel the same way about squirt boating as I do about herpes. 

2) Goodtimes, your wife is such a cow that she carries yen in one pocket and pesos in the other. She also has chest hair. 

You're welcome,
Demosthenes


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## GoodTimes

Demosthenes said:


> Goodtimes, your wife is such a cow that she carries yen in one pocket and pesos in the other. She also has chest hair.


You're not only charming, intelligent, and charismatic.....but you're also clairvoyant? How did you know my wife is Chilean and that she has pesos in her pocket?? AMAZING


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## caspermike

you rafters need to quite taking shit talking so personal i swear the fries and wamburger was out of style a while ago. but each their own.. i love you pussy's and you should know that just giving you a hard time! amd to jason we carry liquer not just beer brother. and you turdmuffins should be in bed can't beleibe leifs mom lets all you stay up this late.
and if any of you "pansy" rafters want to hit somebluegrass this weekend i will hold rope.


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## Demosthenes

I bet she deep fries her toothpaste


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## dograft83

1) I feel the same way about squirt boating as I do about herpes. 
So demo I will take it as you love the herpys because those squirt boat folks are the true meaning of hard core. 
I love the buzz it give you something to kid about on the river


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## caspermike

squirt boating is truely being one with the water, you are in total submergance....


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## MCSkid

Demosthenes said:


> Three things
> 
> 1) I will NEVER give a case of beer to ANY raft guide that runs me over. Especially when that raft guide is a 14 year old on summer break. ESPECIALLY ESPECIALLY ESPECIALLY if that guide doesn't drink booty beers after swims.
> 
> 2) I don't understand how what the HUGE objection to booty beers is. It essentially combines two of my favorite activities drinking, and hazing. Its also hilarious. Having some Pueblo jackass tell me that this is "retarded". Maybe when he can get his wife to shave her mustache and he stops calling the rusty ford in the backyard "the living room" he can talk to me about booty beers.
> 
> 3) Waking up hungover at 10 PM is not fun.



you got run over by a 14 year old? pay up bitch!


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## GoodTimes

Demos,

You take far too much pleasure in belittling and insulting complete strangers....it's who you've been since you came to this site. Pretty sad really....you've amused me for the past couple days....but now it's just silly. 

Done with you


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## Palo Duro

Co-op. all we need is a catchey name, 250.00 LLC a some marketing.
We can prob, pull from this web site, till things get moving.

Since you have the product, a obvious skill in marketing and means to produce it, i shall spring for the LLC.

Hopefully, this will keep-up inso you dont have product loss.$$$$


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## Fuzzy

Riparian said:


> Ready to join the co-op?


I need to do something there are kittens all over me and my house with all this sweet boob juice running out of me.... starting to think I should go rollerblade instead of this trip


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## Riparian

Fuzzy said:


> I need to do something there are kittens all over me and my house with all this sweet boob juice running out of me.... starting to think I should go rollerblade instead of this trip


LOL. I understand completely! Right now I'm tatting some doilies and making a macrame blouse, all while fighting off the kitties. It's soooo complicated being a "mammary lactating rafter"!


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## mr. compassionate

milo said:


> .....tool-i-o-sis....over and over and over..........grade school shit........anybody wanna go run the BLACK CANYON(sorry i missed you nate k.)....the mighty gunny doesn't care who you are.....or what you prefer...it will eat you if you don't have your shit together.....mania, yes...lets go...it needs a clean raft descent....call me.......everyone else can go jerk it or flick your frigging bean....


 
I don't think this is a case of Tool-i-o-sis but just good natured ribbing by people overly bored at work or drunk in the evening. I see only a few who are serious but are mere adolescents who shouln't be taken seriously(CasperMike, Demo and MCskidmark or whatever the fuck his name is).


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## Riparian

Neil Gustafson said:


> Co-op. all we need is a catchey name, 250.00 LLC a some marketing.
> We can prob, pull from this web site, till things get moving.
> 
> Since you have the product, a obvious skill in marketing and means to produce it, i shall spring for the LLC.
> 
> Hopefully, this will keep-up inso you dont have product loss.$$$$


RafterMilkMen, LLC. Short and to the point.

Gonna need to buy some commercial refridge units. The milk bottles are crowding out my beer supply!


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## Palo Duro

Got it, have some rentals on the way, and a few sweet-fellows on (rower)-blades to fill em up. They will take the s$it over to the u-haul rental storage, for safe-keepin.
(distribution)

keep an eye on these gentlemen, they sew, knit and do decor, while they aint raftin.


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## lhowemt

Riparian said:


> RafterMilkMen, LLC. Short and to the point.


If this kind of musing was not on this POS thread, you might be setting up something historic. Milkmen. That's better than whistles, turkeylegs and schlitz, or whatever it was. Except it's just more joking at the expense of women, as usual. And women with children. It's kind of like putting down your own mother, sheesh! :shock: What a sacrifice many of these women gave, giving birth and raising so many dipshits! Oh the horror!

With so many kittens, maybe you could milk the cats too..


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## Riparian

lhowemt said:


> If this kind of musing was not on this POS thread, you might be setting up something historic. Milkmen. That's better than whistles, turkeylegs and schlitz, or whatever it was. Except it's just more joking at the expense of women, as usual. And women with children. It's kind of like putting down your own mother, sheesh! :shock: What a sacrifice many of these women gave, giving birth and raising so many dipshits! Oh the horror!
> 
> With so many kittens, maybe you could milk the cats too..


Actually, it's more of a jab at a certain person who originally coined the "mammary lactating rafters". THAT was the insult to women (and rafters and women rafters). Since that silly moment, it's been about pointing the abject absurdity of the insult. 

¡VIVA LA LECHE!


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## swimteam101

Broken vertebrae suck more than rafts and kayaks


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## caspermike

since when has women been the only members of the homosapien species that lactates. look at yourealdaddy. and i personally think its funy as hell you bunch of ninnies don't have anything better to do but cry like a bunch o babies. like i said don't take the shit so personal or you are seriously a lactating mammory gland rafter.


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## Fuzzy

oh god they got m.................. MEOW


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## Riparian

When those kitties bite, it HURTS!

Milkmen of the world UNITE. You have nothing to lose but some excess lactation!


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## Palo Duro

Agree, also, we cant ''taint'' ( two meanings) the manmilk with cat milk, it will tarnish the end product ( bad biz plan). 
Cat mike is not for human consumption, XXX.

if you want in on this enterprise, you really need to lactate-up.

you can brew-it, now, can you sell it.


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## lhowemt

Riparian said:


> Actually, it's more of a jab at a certain person who originally coined the "mammary lactating rafters". THAT was the insult to women (and rafters and women rafters). Since that silly moment, it's been about pointing the abject absurdity of the insult.
> 
> ¡VIVA LA LECHE!



I should have known, but have been sporadic in my Buzz study lately. Yes, let's take a moment to pray for CM's mother. Poor, poor woman. I might slit my throat if I brought such a beast into this world. Makes me think of the Omen. Well, not quite that bad I suppose. He's just a cryaker, but a total waste of food. There's starving children in this world that deserve the food that he eats more.


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## raymo

lhowemt said:


> I should have known, but have been sporadic in my Buzz study lately. Yes, let's take a moment to pray for CM's mother. Poor, poor woman. I might slit my throat if I brought such a beast into this world. Makes me think of the Omen. Well, not quite that bad I suppose. He's just a cryaker, but a total waste of food. There's starving children in this world that deserve the food that he eats more.


I have to look for my old foot locker for some letters, I think we dated for awhile.


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## restrac2000

I am often amazed at the durability of misogynistic and homophobic jokes within outdoor communities. Not against kayakers or rafters, just the lameness of those that still find such insults humorous. And then they wonder why there are so many whitewater Sausagefests. 

Enjoy the weekend and insult-filled posts, off to float for a week in the desert.


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## mr. compassionate

restrac2000 said:


> I am often amazed at the durability of misogynistic and homophobic jokes within outdoor communities. Not against kayakers or rafters, just the lameness of those that still find such insults humorous. And then they wonder why there are so many whitewater Sausagefests.
> 
> Enjoy the weekend and insult-filled posts, off to float for a week in the desert.


Instead of rafting Chuck Norris holds his nose, blows up his testicles with the pressure and self-floats down the river(to proud to raft). He can also use his testicles as float bags when he decides to kayak...either way he can transition smoothly from one to the other.


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## Palo Duro

OMG, Thats some funny Sh#t,,Thats the best one I have ever heard..:shock:

Do you know why Chuck Norris dose not where a condom? Because there is no such thing as protection,,


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## Jenna1

restrac2000 said:


> I am often amazed at the durability of misogynistic and homophobic jokes within outdoor communities. Not against kayakers or rafters, just the lameness of those that still find such insults humorous. And then they wonder why there are so many whitewater Sausagefests.
> quote]
> 
> 
> Well said!


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## seanlee

i'm pretty sure i'm sicker than most kayakers....

since caspermike is putting up pics of my closest friends, i figured i would add one of me and my boy cella


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## seanlee

and next year i'll pick my fat ass up off the couch from my FRONT RANGE Boulder spread and raft those gay ass slides on yule too.... ****.....

did yetigonecrazy change his username to caspermike or mrekid?


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## seanlee

Demosthenes said:


> I have no problem with rafters unless they FUCKING RUN ME OVER! Twice, and I say TWICE I have been playboating at Smelter and gotten run over. TWICE I've had to swim. I understand that upstream boats have the right of way, but seriously now.
> 
> I appreciate them for supplying me with beer on long overnight trips, of which I am extremely fond. HOWEVER, I HAVE SERIOUS PROBLEM WITH INDIVIDUALS, ESPECIALLY RAFTERS WHO DO NOT DRINK THEIR BOOTY BEERS!
> 
> A RAFTER WHO DOESN'T DRINK THEIR BOOTY BEERS AUTOMATICALLY TAKES A STEP TOWARDS BECOMING RICHARD SIMMONS' BUTT BUDDY.
> 
> Sorry I'm so fired up, just decided to call in sick to work and get drunk.


and this is what you get for playboating.... looser


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## caspermike

seanlee... sic pic brother you wouldn't be considered a lactating rafting.


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## ZGjethro

This entire thread is pathetic.


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## raymo

ZGjethro said:


> This entire thread is pathetic.


You ever see postings like dangerous rapids ahead, rafting sucks...,etc., they are trying to tell you something, like go at your own risk. But do not complain if you do not like what you see once you get there. That is pathetic.


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## ZGjethro

raymo said:


> You ever see postings like dangerous rapids ahead, rafting sucks...,etc., they are trying to tell you something, like go at your own risk. But do not complain if you do not like what you see once you get there. That is pathetic.


Raymo, what I said was an observation or opinion, not a complaint. Complaining would be asking the administrators to remove the thread if I was offended or some other bullshit like that. Get your terminology straight.


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## raymo

P


ZGjethro said:


> Raymo, what I said was an observation or opinion, not a complaint. Complaining would be asking the administrators to remove the thread if I was offended or some other bullshit like that. Get your terminology straight.


Complaint=pathetic; I say po*ta*to you say pa*ta*to. PS. I thought you were offended. My mistake.


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## ZGjethro

Good reply! LOL. Aaaah, now two of 189 posts on this weak thread are mine. I should be ashamed.


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## jeffsssmith

*Any boat, any river, any time*

I have aspired to be a well-rounded river-runner. As a well-rounded river-runner I have been interested at different times in rafting, kayaking or canoeing. I can paddle guide rafts, row rafts, organize multi-day raft trips, paddle canoes in whitewater, playboat and creek boat class I-V and self support in a kayak for multiple days.

I like to think:

Any boat
Any river
Any time

And none of them suck, they're all river running and all a bit different but fun.

And then ther's SUP


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## Chaser

All this arouses one question WWJD (What John Wesly Powell Do??)


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## BmfnL

"I like to think:

Any boat
Any river
Any time

And none of them suck, they're all river running and all a bit different but fun."


Dude, you just ruined it.


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## Kendi

Wow- I go on vacation and all of a sudden there's a problem w/ rafting AND lactation? huh. I didn't know it was so awful to be a female rafter. 

Must be different in the Pacific Northwest.


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## Palo Duro

Major Powell, explorer. 

They dont make ''em'' like that anymore. a grit-ie fellow.


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## leif

This is a complicated issue here, folks. It may be true that rafts are dangerous yet boring, often piloted by inexperienced and rude people, and visually offensive, but we can't forget the fact that rafts, like cattle, often bear our heavy gear while on those rare overnight trips down rivers easy enough to playboat. They're hard to deal with, but they do provide a sort of limited usefulness, if handled properly. In short, they're not all bad.


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## hojo

Chaser said:


> All this arouses one question WWJD (What John Wesly Powell Do??)


He'd take a look at this sorry bunch of posers, laugh and say "I ran this river with one arm and in a wooden boat. While you all are floating in your plastic and rubber pool toys, I'll be at your house showing your mom how a real boater handles the rapids."

Or at least, that's how I think he'd respond. He's dead after all.


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## Andy H.

> [Powell would] ...take a look at this sorry bunch of posers, laugh and say "I ran this river with one arm and in a wooden boat. . While you all are floating in your plastic and rubber pool toys...


I really didn't want to keep this dumbass thread alive any longer but just can't let most important distinction between Powell and us go unmentioned. 

*Powell & Co. had absolutely no idea of what was around the next bend or below the next drop.*

Even when we run a river for the first time we've got our Belknap guides, Whitewater of the Southern Rockies, Lindemann Guide, more experienced companions, and so on. Imaging floating down between sheer walls, hearing the roar of an unknown rapid from downstream and not knowing what lies below and that you were hundreds of miles from the nearest trail out and even further from the nearest help.

Them's some Class V cajones.


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## Riparian

VERY true story. Powell certainly had balls of steel... and more of them than he had arms.



Andy H. said:


> I really didn't want to keep this dumbass thread alive any longer but just can't let most important distinction between Powell and us go unmentioned.
> 
> *Powell & Co. had absolutely no idea of what was around the next bend or below the next drop.*
> 
> Even when we run a river for the first time we've got our Belknap guides, Whitewater of the Southern Rockies, Lindemann Guide, more experienced companions, and so on. Imaging floating down between sheer walls, hearing the roar of an unknown rapid from downstream and not knowing what lies below and that you were hundreds of miles from the nearest trail out and even further from the nearest help.
> 
> Them's some Class V cajones.


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## Palo Duro

hell-of-a point andy, chaser.


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## Colorado Ice

*Rafting Sucks*

So, do you think they scouted or was it just read, run and Oh! Shit!





Andy H. said:


> I really didn't want to keep this dumbass thread alive any longer but just can't let most important distinction between Powell and us go unmentioned.
> 
> *Powell & Co. had absolutely no idea of what was around the next bend or below the next drop.*
> 
> Even when we run a river for the first time we've got our Belknap guides, Whitewater of the Southern Rockies, Lindemann Guide, more experienced companions, and so on. Imaging floating down between sheer walls, hearing the roar of an unknown rapid from downstream and not knowing what lies below and that you were hundreds of miles from the nearest trail out and even further from the nearest help.
> 
> Them's some Class V cajones.


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