# Oarsman looking for fun trips!



## spencerhenry (Jun 21, 2004)

Ornery 45 year old gun toting ******* hillbilly is looking for fun river trips. I am comfortable with class IV, and IV-V, but not much into class II, class III is ok as long as there is a ton of it and it is busy. I will do my thing, so if you are not comfortable with the levels, maybe you should stay home?
I run my boat light, I do not own any group gear. And no, I don't want to carry all your beer in my cooler!
I wake early and expect everyone else too as well. I get cranky when I have to sit and watch some old dude rig his boat for 3 or 4 hours every morning. I prefer to launch by 8:AM. I prefer to eat brats and beans, or steak and potatoes, and beer with both. If I use dishes, I use the same ones everyday without washing them. But, mostly I cook on a stick and eat from the can. My knife is a hunting knife, that early in the season will most likely still have coyote blood and stuff on it, I don't wash it either. Keep that in mind if you ask me for a knife. Pabst was my beer of choice until all the hipsters decided it was cool. I have been drinking PBR for 40 years, but when it got to a dollar a can I gave it up. Now I drink whatever is cheap, but make up for it with quantity. I do not smoke dope, and prefer not to be around it 24/7 while on the river, though the smell really isn't that bad. I like music, but cannot stand teenage girl music or any of that hip hop, or dance or whatever they call it, so if that is what you play, leave it at home. I know, I know, its your trip, but do everyone a favor and leave it at home, no one really likes that crap anyway!
Since I cook with a stick and a can, do NOT expect me to help with dishes or kitchen set up or any of that shit, and sure as hell no cleanup! If you all dined like I do, your boats would be so much higher in the water! Or, you could carry more beer for me!
And groover duty? HA, not going to happen. You brought it, you deal with it.
That about covers it. So if anyone out there has an opening please let me know asap! I have a busy schedule, so don't waste my time with crappy trips!!!


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## DesertRatonIce (Jan 1, 2015)

Your requests are reasonable. You should have no problem getting invited! Great diatribe.


Woke up this morning at 10:13.


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## spencerhenry (Jun 21, 2004)

Oh, and one more thing. I am a chick magnet, so if your girlfriend/ wife is hitting on me, just remember that they can't help themselves. And don't get mad at me. If it really bothers you, maybe you can stay home?


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## willpaddle4food (Oct 11, 2003)

Well. I might have something for you. No chicks, hot weather, long trip, plenty of class 4 & 5. I think it might even be a first descent for an oar rig. Can't seem to find anyone else willing and I don't care what you eat or drink or how you crap, if you can get it done.


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## LochsaIdaho (Jun 25, 2012)

Crickets....


Sent from my iPhone using Mountain Buzz


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## spencerhenry (Jun 21, 2004)

tell me more please.


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## doughboy (Mar 23, 2009)

Always welcome on my trips. No theme nights or handwashing stations on my trips. Never understood what the trendies are doing with their hands to need a washing station. You prob have seen me on river. Red aire with shotgun strapped to top of gear pile.


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## Sembob (Feb 27, 2014)

It was probably the chick magnet statement that caught the attention of Doughboy. 
Yes cleaning the shit and grime off your hands before preparing food or sticking your hand in the trail mix or chip bag is such an inconvenience. These new boaters are such a pita. 


Jim


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## doughboy (Mar 23, 2009)

You shit on your hands? That's weird. Not only would I want you to stay out of my trail mix and cooler but just keep your shitty hands to yourself. Gross


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## Sembob (Feb 27, 2014)

Hahahahaha. 


Jim


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## spencerhenry (Jun 21, 2004)

theme nights? what kind of crap is that? handwashing stations? 

shit, its worse than i thought.

a bunch of candy asses, germophobes, all dressing up? dressing up as what? I guess with a groover we don't have to worry about whether the "bathroom" is a his, a hers, or an its.

does anyone raft anymore for the experience of rafting? or is it all about setting up the most crap and figuring out how to attach it all to their boat?


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## willpaddle4food (Oct 11, 2003)

Well, what have you actually rowed? Maybe you'd like to come try Westy this weekend as a trial run? Or are you just another summit county windbag, all talk and no show....


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## evL_MT (May 8, 2015)

spencerhenry said:


> Does anyone raft anymore for the experience of rafting? Or is it all about setting up the most crap and figuring out how to attach it all to their boat?


^^^ Now that is classic! Oh that's a good point, and funny...


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## shappattack (Jul 17, 2008)

spencerhenry said:


> does anyone raft anymore for the experience of rafting? or is it all about setting up the most crap and figuring out how to attach it all to their boat?


I believe you just sunk a lot of battle ships on this forum, one of the reasons I have few long term partners, is I am over the massive gear hauling/setting up BS as well, though I like flat water and ocean paddling, just as much as Class IV (but for different reasons).


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## DesertRatonIce (Jan 1, 2015)

Spencerhenry, what are your thoughts on side hikes and hiking in general on a rafting trip?


Woke up this morning at 10:13.


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## tanderson (Mar 26, 2010)

I am thinking about bringing a boat of porters so I can still bring everything .


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## spencerhenry (Jun 21, 2004)

westwater in the teens? oh, i am so scared, will someone hold my hand?
I'm in, lets see what you got, hopefully not a big ass boat with tons of shit that I will have to fish out piece by piece. Meet at the put in at, shall we say 8AM saturday?

hiking is great, i do it all the time. it is how i get from the truck to the animal that i intend to eat at a later date, or the animal who's fur coat i intend to re-purpose!


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## mike sweeney (Jun 1, 2015)

Pack light and leave no trace. The only "dress up" I am doing is to put on my Ghillie suit.


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## curtis catman (Sep 29, 2015)

Hiking is for people who are too scared to run the rapid. Tell em if you wanted to walk something you would have brought a dog.


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## bucketboater (Jul 9, 2012)

shappattack said:


> I believe you just sunk a lot of battle ships on this forum, one of the reasons I have few long term partners, is I am over the massive gear hauling/setting up BS as well, though I like flat water and ocean paddling, just as much as Class IV (but for different reasons).


 I said stuff like this years ago when I couldn't afford nice things. Ive been doing this too long to sit on a rock and eat off a cooler.


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## spider (Jun 20, 2011)

Who the hell eats on these trips anyway?


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## DesertRatonIce (Jan 1, 2015)

Win or loose I booze on all my River trips. Food gets in the way and takes longer to get drunk.


Woke up this morning at 10:13.


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## willpaddle4food (Oct 11, 2003)

Well. Turns out spencerhenry is unable to go on Westwater this weekend. Someone on the buzz that can't.....quite....follow through. I'm shocked; shocked, I tell you


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## spencerhenry (Jun 21, 2004)

yep, its true.

i do my last flight lesson before solo on friday. then solo on saturday.


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## willpaddle4food (Oct 11, 2003)

Whatever. Told me he just rememered he had to crochet some legwarmers for his girlfriend.


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## robemega (Feb 24, 2013)

*Thanks for the thread*

This thread was so much fun to read out loud. Be sure to use different voices for the main characters.


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## Soup76 (Aug 19, 2009)

So you will shit in someone else's groover but won't put the lid on it? Weird. 

Sounds like you should pitch a tent at the put in for the Illinois. We will be on the Rogue on the 8th.


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## Soup76 (Aug 19, 2009)

Oh. And don't trust anything bucketboater says. He wets himself on 3's.


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## willpaddle4food (Oct 11, 2003)

So I got a trip for you spencer. First descent on an oar rig. We need someone to row a baggage boat to hell, and report back


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## spencerhenry (Jun 21, 2004)

OK, i am in. 
is there anything i you want me to take to your mama while i am there?


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## willpaddle4food (Oct 11, 2003)

Take her a 12 pack and make sure it's cold. Her and Charon are always the trip leaders on the river Styx and you want to stay on their good side


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