# Nude Vallecito run!



## jmack (Jun 3, 2004)

I'll be heading out after work for a nude Vallecito run. If you have never run Class V at a much too high level naked, you are missing out! I know its supposidly "way too high", so we plan on just taking it slow and drinking alot. I'll also be bringing my eleven year old girlfriend. Should be awesome!


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## mania (Oct 21, 2003)

count me in!


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## xkayaker13 (Sep 30, 2006)

haha, give tom janney a call. he might be into the 11 year old girl thing


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## DurangoSteve (Jun 2, 2006)

jmack said:


> I'll be heading out after work for a nude Vallecito run. If you have never run Class V at a much too high level naked, you are missing out! I know its supposidly "way too high", so we plan on just taking it slow and drinking alot. I'll also be bringing my eleven year old girlfriend. Should be awesome!


It's as if Jerry Lee Lewis took up kayaking!


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## storm11 (Feb 10, 2006)

jmack said:


> I'll also be bringing my eleven year old girlfriend.





mania said:


> count me in!


*
Why am I not surprised?



*


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## 3195 (May 12, 2005)

I resent the way you treat the nude boating concept. Three other buzzards have messaged me expressing interest in the trip. They are all planning on bringing their significant others. In case you didn't see my friend's website (bareboating.com), nude boating of all sorts is popular around the country. As somebody who has gotten into whitewater boating in the last couple years, I've decided to expand nude boating to raging rivers as well. As for making fun of the age of my girlfriend, I think you're just jealous that I am dating my daughter's friend and getting some quality ass. As for my alcoholism, some of the men we worship as heroes have been heavy drinkers. Grant and Churchill to name two. Go back to masturbating, I'll go boating with my girlfriend and my PBR. 

George


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## caspermike (Mar 9, 2007)

Boofington said:


> I resent the way you treat the nude boating concept. Three other buzzards have messaged me expressing interest in the trip. They are all planning on bringing their significant others. In case you didn't see my friend's website (bareboating.com), nude boating of all sorts is popular around the country. As somebody who has gotten into whitewater boating in the last couple years, I've decided to expand nude boating to raging rivers as well. As for making fun of the age of my girlfriend, I think you're just jealous that I am dating my daughter's friend and getting some quality ass. As for my alcoholism, some of the men we worship as heroes have been heavy drinkers. Grant and Churchill to name two. Go back to masturbating, I'll go boating with my girlfriend and my PBR.
> 
> George


wow you are special. cold water + water cold air= retarded dumbass who is a prime example of natural selection at its finest. 

what are you trying to prove by taking your cloths off and running whitewater besides the fact that you are a complete retard? you obviously have zero respect for the river and im sure my god will give you no mercy.


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## JHimick (May 12, 2006)

Boofington said:


> I resent the way you treat the nude boating concept. Three other buzzards have messaged me expressing interest in the trip. They are all planning on bringing their significant others. In case you didn't see my friend's website (bareboating.com), nude boating of all sorts is popular around the country. As somebody who has gotten into whitewater boating in the last couple years, I've decided to expand nude boating to raging rivers as well. As for making fun of the age of my girlfriend, I think you're just jealous that I am dating my daughter's friend and getting some quality ass. As for my alcoholism, some of the men we worship as heroes have been heavy drinkers. Grant and Churchill to name two. Go back to masturbating, I'll go boating with my girlfriend and my PBR.
> 
> George


Dude,
I was going to post up and suggest people give you a break until I read this. You have to recognize that nude whitewater boating is as ludicrous as nude tennis or volleyball... actually it's more ludicrous. There are some activities where your junk flapping in the breeze is far more cumbersome and dangerous than the benefit you derive from being nude. Whitewater rafting is one of these activities. One, boat rubber and bare skin don't go together well. Two, when you run Class III or harder whitewater nude you risk tearing a hole in your sack or quite possibly having your genitalia completely ripped off as you get thrown about the boat. Should this be your fate, I doubt you will find much sympathy from the boating community. Nude whitewater boating has no merit. Granted folks are giving you a hard time, posting up here and telling them they're jealous and masturbating is no way to get people to see things from your perspective. Happy boating and good luck keeping your sack intact.


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## 3195 (May 12, 2005)

JHimick, you're right, that was a little bit over the line. I appologize. I've been posting here to try to generate some interest and I've received some. I've just been infuriated by the number of people attacking the concept for their own ammusement. 

George


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## nmalozzi (Jun 19, 2007)

Boofington said:


> JHimick, you're right, that was a little bit over the line. I appologize. I've been posting here to try to generate some interest and I've received some. I've just been infuriated by the number of people attack the concept for their own ammusement.
> 
> George


The attacks are a bit harsh, but there has been plenty of civilized attempts to warn you of the obvious risks, and you just dismiss them.

-hypothermia
-hot rubber
-dangerous rocks and debris
-excessive drinking while paddling (increases risk of hypothermia, dehydration, and weakens ability to navigate hard sections)

I could go on, but I feel like those alone would be enough to stop any sane person from doing such a thing. So continuing to push for this in fact makes you look insane.

If continuing to move forward doesn't make you look insane enough, your obnoxious rebuttals only make you look worse. 

If you want to make this happen it is certainly your prerogative, but being obnoxious about it only makes you look like a fool. Did you expect that everyone here would just jump on board? I mean you are doing something that is out of realm of morals and normalcy for the majority of the country. Of course you are going to have a backlash, what did you expect? 

One final note, wasn't your last attempt shut down due to rangers or something seeing your posts on this very forum? Why would you do it on here again?

And just my two cents, if your girlfriend is the one in the pic in your profile... enjoy bud, I don't think any of us are gonna fight you for her.


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## Randaddy (Jun 8, 2007)

Boofington, I just can't keep quiet. You are lame. You are begging for attention with public posts about an activity that has no merit. It's not about adventure, it's not about freedom, it's about you showing your OLD BALLS to the general public to get noticed. This is no different from the guy in the park with nothing but a raincoat on! You do not have a right to do this, as the land management officials that contacted you about your first post have confirmed. You're going to get a chance to be nude in jail. Grow up you wrinkled old pedophile!


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## kayaker (Oct 29, 2003)

*JMACK! killing me!*

JMACK! It seems only Steve and I get your humour. 
You're one of the funniest dudes I've ever boated with, havent seen you since Westy last fall.
Enjoy your PBR and nude Vallecito!


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## BastrdSonOfElvis (Mar 24, 2005)

dude, if you're a wierdo you can't really get pissed when people call you out on being a wierdo.

bustin on dude's girl is pretty harsh, though.


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## KSC (Oct 22, 2003)

The problem with nude boating in Colorado = shrinkage


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## Phillips (Feb 19, 2004)

Oh Boofington don't be such a square. . . :roll:


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## Phillips (Feb 19, 2004)

Boofington said:


> I resent the way you treat the nude boating concept. Three other buzzards have messaged me expressing interest in the trip. They are all planning on bringing their significant others. In case you didn't see my friend's website (bareboating.com), nude boating of all sorts is popular around the country. As somebody who has gotten into whitewater boating in the last couple years, I've decided to expand nude boating to raging rivers as well. As for making fun of the age of my girlfriend, I think you're just jealous that I am dating my daughter's friend and getting some quality ass. As for my alcoholism, some of the men we worship as heroes have been heavy drinkers. Grant and Churchill to name two. Go back to masturbating, I'll go boating with my girlfriend and my PBR.
> 
> George


That's awesome. . .


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## yetigonecrazy (May 23, 2005)

KSC said:


> The problem with nude boating in Colorado = shrinkage


^SIGNFICANT shrinkage, too....


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## yourrealdad (May 25, 2004)

yetigonecrazy said:


> ^SIGNFICANT shrinkage, too....


Thats exactly what I need if I am to boat with boofington on Browns he said that he had room for 3-4 people but unless I experience this significant shrinkage that yeti talks about their will only be room on the raft for maybe one other person tops. The bright side is, if boofington wants to share I will gladly rip out the center thwart, cut out one end and use it a a rubber. Then we can have an awesome h2o wobbly H

Boofington?


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## yetigonecrazy (May 23, 2005)

yourrealdad said:


> The bright side is, if boofington wants to share I will gladly rip out the center thwart, cut out one end and use it a a rubber. Then we can have an awesome h2o wobbly H


ha ha, that may be the funniest thing ive ever seen posted on the buzz.......too much man, too much...

that may be the first use of the wobbly h in whitewater terms ever


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## BastrdSonOfElvis (Mar 24, 2005)

"...like a pair of goddam Chinese fingercuffs..."


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## jacy (Mar 1, 2008)

*We are boaters...*



Boofington said:


> I resent the way you treat the nude boating concept. .. In case you didn't see my friend's website (bareboating.com), nude boating of all sorts is popular around the country. As somebody who has gotten into whitewater boating in the last couple years, I've decided to expand nude boating to raging rivers as well.
> George


If you want respect for your nudist ideology, go to a nudist website. We're boaters, here to talk about boating. Are you seriously surprised that the majority of us are mocking you? I think most of us resent the way you disrespect our rivers and whitewater safety. At first, your threads where like watching a train wreck...but now, can you seriously give it a rest? Take your few buzzards that are into risking their safety to be naked and talk on your bareboating.com...give mountainbuzz a rest.

BTW...Randaddy...you're frickin' hilarious.

Jacy


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## Bornwithatail (Mar 2, 2008)

*From the Jeering section...*



JHimick said:


> Dude,
> I was going to post up and suggest people give you a break until I read this. You have to recognize that nude whitewater boating is as ludicrous as nude tennis or volleyball... actually it's more ludicrous. There are some activities where your junk flapping in the breeze is far more cumbersome and dangerous than the benefit you derive from being nude. Whitewater rafting is one of these activities. One, boat rubber and bare skin don't go together well. Two, when you run Class III or harder whitewater nude you risk tearing a hole in your sack or quite possibly having your genitalia completely ripped off as you get thrown about the boat. Should this be your fate, I doubt you will find much sympathy from the boating community. Nude whitewater boating has no merit. Granted folks are giving you a hard time, posting up here and telling them they're jealous and masturbating is no way to get people to see things from your perspective. Happy boating and good luck keeping your sack intact.


I'm a dumbass, wrong quote, meant to reply to the Boofmeister. Ok, we've all been a little harsh, but in case ya hadn't noticed there's a lot of sharp & deliciously twisted minds here who relish the oppotunity to harp on one another. Take it in good fun & then give it back sideways. I've been cracking up reading these things for the past few days. Your daughter's friend?! Ye-ESS!, like Marv Albert. This gets better every day.


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## paddlebizzle (Oct 15, 2003)

boofington said:


> As for my alcoholism, some of the men we worship as heroes have been heavy drinkers.


That's certainly something to be proud of and definitely lends to your credibility. Trust me - we all love you that much more.

I'm sure that your aspirations will lead you to a global leadership role right along side the leaders you worship. I promise I'll be eagerly waiting your rise to success: one...drink...at...a....time


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## caverdan (Aug 27, 2004)

If Boofy......or should we call him Buffy.......was real......he would be running sections of rivers that don't require wearing a life jacket. (like below his home town dam.) A true nudist would never wear something like a life jacket.......it defeats the whole purpose of being nude in the first place. I love the entertainment factor he adds to the Buzz.....BUTT.....we need more pictures!!!!!!


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## BastrdSonOfElvis (Mar 24, 2005)

No, we don't. Seriously, no more pictures. I can still taste the vomit in my mouth from the first ones I saw.


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## Lurch (Jun 8, 2004)

You guys need to check your sarcasm meter. It's way out of calibration!


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## richp (Feb 27, 2005)

Hi,

I've just been made aware that a vicious rumor is circulating, and I have to put an end to it right now.

The next GCPBA annual meeting (to be held in Flagstaff in early November) will not -- repeat, not -- be held in the nude. 

FWIW.


Rich Phillips
VP, GCPBA
gcpba.org


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## CUkayakGirl (Mar 31, 2005)

Josh!
How did the after work quickie go?

At least I know you didn't leave your balls in the car on a run like that


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## jmack (Jun 3, 2004)

Of course the run went smooth- Always does when you are in the NUDE! I don't let all you conformist sheep tell me what to do!

The little lady was a bit apprehensive at the put-in but I just gave her a Mike's Hard Lemonade and told her there was a lollipop waiting at the bottom. She fired it right up.

Next up: nude Cheesman! Just hope I don't get my danglers pinched in a sieve.


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## IkayakNboard (May 12, 2005)

Just wondering if it still counts as nude boating if you have Congenital Generalized Hypertrichosis?


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## COUNT (Jul 5, 2005)

IkayakNboard said:


> Just wondering if it still counts as nude boating if you have Congenital Generalized Hypertrichosis?












Josh, I didn't know your whole family paddled, too!?


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## DurangoSteve (Jun 2, 2006)

IkayakNboard said:


> Just wondering if it still counts as nude boating if you have Congenital Generalized Hypertrichosis?


I saw a werewolf drinking a piña colada at Trader Vic's.
His hair was *perfect*.
_- Warren Zevon
_


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## jmack (Jun 3, 2004)

Come on down to Durango Count. I'll introduce you to my girlfriend's little sister. She's only seven but really mature for her age...and not that much taller than you.


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## caspermike (Mar 9, 2007)

jmack said:


> Come on down to Durango Count. I'll introduce you to my girlfriend's little sister. She's only seven but really mature for her age...and not that much taller than you.


 
ohh shit... that was a low blow.


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## BigD (Feb 7, 2007)

Literally.

Ba-dum-bum-dum.


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## COUNT (Jul 5, 2005)

jmack said:


> Come on down to Durango Count. I'll introduce you to my girlfriend's little sister. She's only seven but really mature for her age...and not that much taller than you.


I'm all for a little bit of nookie but unlike you I'm not really into wookie.


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## producerchik (Jun 2, 2008)

I say we let this dude keep posting. If it weren't for it, I wouldn't be reading this hilarious topic. I mean, seriously, I'm getting a nice laugh from it. I totally dig the sarcasm. It's just too bad some are getting very offensive about it.


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