# I suck



## vtpackraft (Mar 18, 2011)

Seriously I suck at touching my toes. I can barely touch my shins. I'm 5'10 and My hands are a good 8-12 inches away from my toes. You might be wondering what this has to do with a WW forum. 

This is my sixth year of kayaking and I'm close to actually being able to competently paddle class V. A major skill set I lack is the ability to tuck. I'm so inflexible that anytime I roll I'm basically asking to take a rock to my face/entire exposed upper body. When I roll I'm perpendicular to my boat. 

I get that generally you don't want to roll in class V, especially creeking, but it happens. If I run class V creeks I'm at high at risk for getting my face taken off. Also its difficult to tuck for waterfalls and punching holes in big water.... blah blah blah

Anyone have any simple advice/stretches for me to be able to touch my toes? It's gotta be simple. Something that would be helpful would be "Like try and touch your toes five times a day for 30 seconds". If its too complicated I won't do it. Also I'm not going to yoga.


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## Randaddy (Jun 8, 2007)

Sounds like you're not flexible because you're lazy and you say "I can't" and "I suck". Change your attitude to "I can", put forth some effort, and get in shape. Boating Class V isn't for lazy pessimists.


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## jmack (Jun 3, 2004)

I seriously doubt that your lack of flexibility is what is standing between you and padding competence, but if you really think that is the problem, I would advise you to swallow your pride and go to yoga. It certainly won't hurt your boating.


Sent from my iPhone using Mountain Buzz


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## carvedog (May 11, 2005)

as an old middle age fat guy I amaze folks fairly regularly that I can get my hands flat on the floor between my feet. I have to or my back explodes. Hamstring tightness can be one culprit but there is lots of stuff going on. 

Don't bounce. Just go as far as you can than a little bit into muscle stretching discomfort. Then stay there until it's not. Uncomfortable that is. Then do it again and go deeper. Lather, rinse, repeat. If you feel this is truly holding you back from Class 5 greatness you need to apply yourself. Body maintenance is a lifelong thing. Even for those mighty of girth such as myself. Start your basic stretches now and do them all the time as part of life. You will be happier. If you wait until you get older, it sucks.


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## rivervibe (Apr 24, 2007)

Kettle Bells. Find a good Kettle Bell trainer and do that twice a week. There is strength training involved, but most of what you do on a beginner level is movement and body motion analysis. A good trainer will work with exactly what is hindering you (be it your hamstrings, back, neck...) As a routine it is almost custom made for kayaking.


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## shredder-scott (May 21, 2013)

I agree with the others


suck it up ....... goto yoga ....... I like core power yoga

scott


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## KSC (Oct 22, 2003)

Just learn to back deck roll, unless that's too much effort.


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## SKeen (Feb 23, 2009)

try and touch your toes five times a day for 30 seconds


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## soggy_tortillas (Jul 22, 2014)

Don't be such a sissy la-la. I don't know why anyone would be opposed to yoga... it's some of the best exercise you can do for yourself, strength, flexibility and circulation are a few of the benefits. There's also several different types of yoga, so you should be able to find one that you can really enjoy. Give it a shot, you might find that it's not really just for pussies after all. 
You don't have to "go to" yoga... you can do yoga at home. There are a ton of apps and articles and videos (both online and at stores) out there that will teach you the stretches... There's even some paddler-specific programs.
One of the breweries in Steamboat just started doing "yoga and a beer" to target the more masculine side of the market.
But really, just remember your basic PE stretches from high school.


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## UWC Kayak (Nov 24, 2014)

Hold something like lead dive weights (3, 4, or 6lb) in your hands while stretching for the floor. It may also help your abdomen when you're coming up.


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## blutzski (Mar 31, 2004)

I thought you had to at least be able to touch your toes before you could suck. 


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## glenn (May 13, 2009)

Weak troll. Do yoga. /thread


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## lawclan (Nov 16, 2011)

*Yoga*

Another thumbs up for yoga - no judgment, great stretches, good for balance and the spirit. Wish I started it 10 years ago!


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## InflatableSteve (Jun 12, 2013)

Don't listen to these clowns. Just buy an IK or a raft. You won't have to worry about rolling. Just take a nice swim right side up. I don't do yoga and aside from never being comfortable, feeling like shit, felling weak, being a minor alcoholic and not being able to sleep, I am doing fantastic! 

On second thought, maybe you should try yoga.


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## GratefulOne (Jun 12, 2010)

i really don't mind a good troll....


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## Grif (May 21, 2008)

What's a troll?


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## Andy H. (Oct 13, 2003)

Grif said:


> What's a troll?


Like.


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## Paddle_like_Hell (Nov 2, 2010)

Playboat more. Supported by proper stretches and fitness you'll become much more limber. Cartwheels, loops, blast wheels, blunts, etc. all require flexability. One more reason why "I only creek" boaters take the most and often worst swims.


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## Livingston (Jan 8, 2004)

Assuming you are a male, why wouldn't you want to go to yoga? Are you unfamiliar with what yoga pants are? Not for you to wear of course.
Also, if you have a significant other, have them assist in your stretching. Sit down on the floor, reach for your toes, have them push from behind. 
-d


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## leif (Jul 11, 2009)

Don't let yourself get into your kayak until you've done 30 seconds or more of stretching. That's not the most effective way to stretch, but it will keep you accountable.

Sent from my XT1080 using Mountain Buzz mobile app


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## Rich (Sep 14, 2006)

All of the above...15 minutes....EVERY....FUCKING....morning....before coffee or a bowl or a breakfast beer.


The most important part is *...EVERY...*FUCKING....morning....


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## vtpackraft (Mar 18, 2011)

*Yup*

I don't have a problem with Yoga. It just generally involves classes, classes I'm not gonna pay for. I got the whole cheap grad student thing going. Running and lifting is free. 

Some reasonable advice on here. Thanks for that. Back deck roll, some sort of routine, play boat, stretch with weights, yoga from home... don't be a pussy...

Randdaddy. As lame as your advice was... I have to ignore it. There was that time you advised me to make a deposit for that whole raft guide training thing. Meanwhile March snowpack was absolutely plummeting and then a couple month later there was the whole Poudre fire on both sides thing... Perhaps if I ignored facts and had a positive outlook we would have had high water all summer. I know you had to try and make money off that training but jesus I avoided a bullet there.


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## tskoe23 (Jun 19, 2010)

Pull up a chair, this thread just got interesting....


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## Randaddy (Jun 8, 2007)

vtpackraft said:


> Randdaddy. As lame as your advice was... I have to ignore it. There was that time you advised me to make a deposit for that whole raft guide training thing. Meanwhile March snowpack was absolutely plummeting and then a couple month later there was the whole Poudre fire on both sides thing... Perhaps if I ignored facts and had a positive outlook we would have had high water all summer. I know you had to try and make money off that training but jesus I avoided a bullet there.


Yep, 2012 was a tough summer to be a raft guide on the Poudre. The trainees that didn't flake became raft guides, learned a lot on several different rivers, and can now make decent money guiding boats. The trainees that did flake became Internet trolls that can't touch their toes. The natural disaster wasn't my fault little buddy.


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## BeaterBoater (Sep 29, 2014)

pussy


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## glenn (May 13, 2009)




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## BrianK (Feb 3, 2005)

Randaddy said:


> The trainees that did flake became Internet trolls that can't touch their toes.


That's funny, even though I can't touch my toes.


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## yourrealdad (May 25, 2004)

Buy a yoga dvd. Then you don't have to pay to go to those expensive classes. You also don't get to see all that tail though. Opportunity costs my friend.

Stretch everyday.

Buy a foam roller and roll out your hamstrings and hips. Everyday.

Do situps. Everyday

Check out these stretches.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2GLrKr54yA0

I am a firm believer that most leg issues whether injuries or flexibility revolve around tight hips and hammies. I used to tweak a hamstring running and it would sideline me every year. I do this now before I run (takes 5 minutes) and no injuries since.

If you are too lazy to do these things, you probably shouldn't boat class V. It is far more work than these ideas.

If my suggestions are too expensive you should probably not boat class V. It is far more expensive than these ideas.

P.S. Unlike BrianK I can touch my toes. Palms to the floor.

P.S.S. BrianK lay off the excuse of raising a kid. I know you have the babe in one arm and are chugging a beer with the other arm.


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## Hanuman (Sep 13, 2014)

Alaska dude,
It is time to wake up. If you are that stiff now, what about the future. Get a private with a yoga instructor. The instructor can focus on your issues and show you how to get the most benefit for your effort. 
Yoga instills coolness and control in chaos. Blessings to you on your journey.


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## LSB (Mar 23, 2004)

vtpackraft said:


> I don't have a problem with Yoga.


Yoga Classes = MILFs in tights


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## soggy_tortillas (Jul 22, 2014)

LSB said:


> Yoga Classes = MILFs in tights


I feel like this implies that you must either be a mother or a mother-to-be, and be willing to wear tights. So maybe yoga really isn't an option for the majority of you....


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