# Comic Gore Commercial Rafting



## leif (Jul 11, 2009)

This is why I keep telling people:

Rafting is dangerous!


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## Kendi (May 15, 2009)

I swear I've wanted to do that exact same thing to a couple of custies on more than one occasion- but never have. Glad to know I'm not the only one!


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## glcasson21 (Apr 16, 2009)

Hahaha!! that's good stuff! I've lost my temper with a crew and given them the "if you don't f**in listen to me, we aren't going to make it" speech but I've always restrained from striking a custy...even though I really wanted to! But, if I were guiding Gore, I wouldn't feel bad at all for giving a friendly pat on the back with my paddle to get there attention.


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## David L (Feb 13, 2004)

That's funny; it would have been quite a sight to see. You'll be laughing about that for a long time.

Years ago I don't know how I kept myself from strangling some of the passengers in my boat for doing nothing during the approaches to some rapids. Ah well, that will happen all the time. It's part of the guiding game.

Every time we make it through Gore, relatively unscathed, I thank all the lucky stars in the night sky, and the paddling chief.

It's at 1230 now! That's our target flow!!! Hope it's still there next weekend.


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## Kendrick (Jul 8, 2010)

But rafting is just a really expensive roller-coaster ride. Doing anything other than sitting there is optional. The paddle you're holding is akin to railing and shouldn't be used unless you're trying to show off; it's really just there so you can parry and riposte attacks from other paddle-wielders, including the guide.


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## The Mogur (Mar 1, 2010)

Obviously the guide was having trouble getting his turons to do what he wanted them to do. Usually, when that happens it is because the guide isn't doing his job very well. And smacking the turon with a paddle isn't going to help. There really are only five possible reasons for the trouble:

(1) The turons were all totally inept, and were unable to follow the guide's instructions. It would be an extremely rare event for an entire group to be totally inept. The guide, after giving proper instructions on what he expects, should do some dry-run practice in calm water immediately after launch. Within two minutes, the guide should be able to identify who can and who can't help him control the boat. 

If there truly is nobody there to help, then he should abort the trip. That never once happened to me or to any of the guides who worked for me. We could alway find at least a couple of paddlers who could be put in the front of the boat, and then the rest would be told to do what the guy in front is doing. Not ideal, but it works.

(2) The guide failed to properly instruct the turons at the outset, so they didn't know what he wanted them to do. This person should immediately become a _former_ guide.

(3) The turons were impaird by alcohol. Any guide who would allow drunk turons to get into the raft should be collecting unemployment, along with the booking agent who failed to make the turons understand that they had to be sober to make the trip.

(4) Some people don't follow instructions simply because they don't understand them. I've seen many intelligent, physically capable people who had difficulty with "left" and "right." They had to stop and think, "Okay, left is where my watch is. I'm on the other side, so I must be right. The guide said, 'Left side forward, right side back,' so that means I'm supposed to back paddle." Of course, by the time he has gone through that mental process, it's too late, and another command has been given, hopefully not "High side!" These people can react much better to visual commands--like watching the person directly in front. Just about anyone can do that.

(5) The guide is giving improper or unclear commands. Turons can't do what they're told unless they can hear the commands, and the commands are consistent and quick. If the guide keeps changing the way he tells the turons to make a left turn, he can't expect consistent results. If the guide can't do that, he should look for work at McDonalds.


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## Miller Time (Apr 3, 2009)

And the winner of a lengthy explanation to nothing more than a funny story goes to....Mogur

Not everything needs a biopsy (or autopsy for that matter)


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## catboatkeith (Jun 11, 2010)

Everything Mogur said is true, and maybe the aforementioned guide may read this thread and learn something. But I'm sure it was effin funny to watch!! Glad they all survived.


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## BrianK (Feb 3, 2005)

if hes guiding gore commercially I don't think he's gonna learn a ton about guiding from a mountainbuzz post. 

Every guide I have ever seen or met that guides gore is better/more experienced than 99% of raft guides anywhere.

There aren't many tougher commercially rafted sections in the US. Cherry Creek comes to mind, but beyond that I can't really think of any.


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## The Mogur (Mar 1, 2010)

Miller Time said:


> And the winner of a lengthy explanation to nothing more than a funny story goes to....Mogur


On the other hand, nobody ever went home from any of my river trips in a body bag. That has to be worth something.


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## David L (Feb 13, 2004)

Yeah, it's a ballsy run in the first place, and they do a run there with a crew of paddlers that they just met and don't know how they will perform when in the thick of it.


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## xena13 (Mar 21, 2007)

I once had a guide in Gore tell me, "I try to remain professional and not drop the F-bomb but if i do, the next 3 or 4 words are going to be VERY IMPORTANT!" It seems to work pretty well.


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## bobbuilds (May 12, 2007)

xena13 said:


> I once had a guide in Gore tell me, "I try to remain professional and not drop the F-bomb but if i do, the next 3 or 4 words are going to be VERY IMPORTANT!" It seems to work pretty well.


i like this, i must retain it.


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## Cphilli (Jun 10, 2010)

I was there for the entertainment last week, have always wanted to actually see a custie take it like a pig. I guided for 5 years on a cowboy run back east, and you will never see me in a raft on gore.

Imagine finding out after your four mile paddle that your crew isn't going to cut it.


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## Kendi (May 15, 2009)

xena13 said:


> I once had a guide in Gore tell me, "I try to remain professional and not drop the F-bomb but if i do, the next 3 or 4 words are going to be VERY IMPORTANT!" It seems to work pretty well.


 that's awesome! I'll have to remember that too!


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## Matt J (May 27, 2005)

most companies that run up there have had the same paddle crew in class 4

I'm sure he didn't want to "accidentally" run Tunnel without safety

I have a lot of respect for anyone willing to guide a paddle raft down Gore - private or commercial


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## Rez072 (Apr 21, 2008)

R2ed & guided a private R5 last Saturday & Sunday in Gore. No portage. No carnage. Very fun.

I can tell you the difference between guiding people you know & guiding clients is significant. However, as Matt J stated, the companies that take people in there have quite the weeding-out process before anyone gets to the put-in.

As a guide, you have to communicate to the paddlers precisely and when they're freaked out sometimes they need their attention to be achieved by unusual means... no matter how good your preparation was.

Gore is a great piece of whitewater that can be commercially rafted safely and with consistency.

I know the folks who ran that trip last Friday. They had 7 boats, not all of the boats had clients, and a couple Safety kayakers. They had a couple swimmers they cleaned up quickly at Scissors & a couple of innocuous flips at Tunnel. Swimming the pool below Tunnel is an easy clean-up and inconsequential.

No injuries. Lots of smiles, exhilaration, and stories manifested.


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## BoilermakerU (Mar 13, 2009)

The ONLY thing Mogur said I agree with is that hitting someone with a paddle isn't going to help the situation. Other than that, Everything else is speculation, unless he was the guide. 

I doubt seriously a commercial company would put a guide that doesn't know his shit on Gore.

And to top it all off, like any story, the facts tend to get sensationalized as the story gets passed along, especially on the Buzz, especially after a few beers at the take-out...


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## stubby (Oct 13, 2003)

It was super classic watching that go down. Although it made me nervous and not want to be around much longer because the potential for some bad carnage was in full effect. 

On another note, how low can you raft Gore...and how low is it still fun? You won't find me in the raft (too scary), but looking to safety boat for a crew at the very end of the month and was curious on flows.


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## deepsouthpaddler (Apr 14, 2004)

BoilermakerU said:


> And to top it all off, like any story, the facts tend to get sensationalized as the story gets passed along, especially on the Buzz, especially after a few beers at the take-out...


No sensationalizing here. Raft guide was yelling at passengers while whacking them with his paddle while we watched. It was funny. We laughed.

If you are doubting the veracity of my story... well... I really don't care.

Also, to all the buzzards disecting the finer points of guiding or trying to justify guides on gore, thats not really the point. The guide in question could have been the best guide with a crew of gapers or he could have been a rookie gore guide with bad lines. Don't know, don't care. The point of the story was simply the technique of whacking and yelling after a crappy line. Pretty damn funny.


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## Kendi (May 15, 2009)

deepsouthpaddler said:


> If you are doubting the veracity of my story...


I'm impressed with the big words...keep 'em coming!


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## studytime (Oct 4, 2010)

Why dont they use stern frames on Gore. I was up in Kremmling earlier in the year at the coffee shop and one of the guides said Hi as we were reading the raft brochure. I asked him about Gore Canyon and he said it is the most difficult comercially run river in the country. Out here we do Cherry Creek on the Tuolumne which gets the same "most difficult commercially run river" status. On cherry creek all the commercial companies(two) run stern frames. Not true stern rames but slightly forward. I always run stern frames on technical rivers as this gives you the most control. Im just curious why commercial trips on Gore paddle guide. Any idea? Is there rapids you wouldnt want to have oars on?


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## raftus (Jul 20, 2005)

Guiding the crux in Gore Rapid with a stern frame is very problematic. Hell rowing the crux of gore is problematic. You have to ship your oars when you need to be in control of your position in the channel and your angle. Also going over some of the holes on a stern mounted frame would be guide ejector city. I haven't guided/rafted Cherry Creek (yet) so I can't make a comparison to that. I love stern mounts on wider channels (even at low water), but Gore presents some real issues. I know some experienced class V cat boaters that have had their lunch eaten on Gore. 

For low flows on Gore about 750-800 is the low end for what I consider fun in a raft. I'm know people have run it down to 500-600. Kirschbaum's gets interesting at low flows. And the meat line in gore gets shallow as well.


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## solboater (May 9, 2011)

After guiding for years on the Ark, rafting Gore, and a lot of other runs out that way I moved out to the west coast. I feel like I had an extension to my guiding career when introduced to the stern frame. I don't know how many times I have said to myself how I wish I could have had the option of a stern frame back then. My shoulders would be in a lot better shape that is for sure. Out here on anything similar to Pine Creek/ Numbers or Gore I row a slant board sterny. On tight moves where the oars need to be shipped I micro steer/ hold the angle with my oars shipped forward and call turn commands if needed. The whole guide ejector thing I was told about so many times in CO. is deminished to nil with a slant board in my experience. Try it you might enjoy.


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## UserName (Sep 7, 2007)

I think the companies have enough trouble with the guides whacking the customers with paddles. DONT GIVE THEM OARS!!!!


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## ednaout (Jun 3, 2005)

I think its funny that people refuse to simply laugh at a funny story!  ! !  ! !  !!  !!  !!  !!  !!  !


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## Matt J (May 27, 2005)

the biggest whitewater I've ever seen run with customers was with a stern mount

never rowed the slant seat but it makes a lot of sense

funny how some ideas don't jump watersheds


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## Matt J (May 27, 2005)

btw I don't consider a t-grip to the back of the pfd out of line

not in Gore Canyon - you did sign up for class 5

maybe funny as a private kayaker, but as a commercial guide probably less than funny


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## Imus586 (Oct 22, 2010)

Yes! A little tough love for the custies! Corporal punishment is probably not still legal on the river though  Hope he had a "perfect run" (all customers fall out, guide stays in)!

I paddle guide Westwater on a regular basis, and most paddle crews are perfectly capable with proper instructions, but I had a group of older folks from the other day from the wine country of California. Despite trying to make an early move across the river, we still managed to slam sideways into the rocks in front of Hade's camp below Little D. Very frustrating.

I think some people never have to give a 100% effort or even a hard physical effort in their everyday lives. They don't really understand that yes, you are paddling for your life (more or less), and that while rafting is super fun, it is not a spectator sport (please be a passenger on an oar boat if you think it is). It combines danger, effort, and teamwork - that's why it's fun!


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## Matt J (May 27, 2005)

I'm sure it was a love pat. A small nudge to get the attention.


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## deepsouthpaddler (Apr 14, 2004)

Matt J said:


> btw I don't consider a t-grip to the back of the pfd out of line


No T-grip... flat part of the blade hitting the PFD swung baseball bat style. The thing that cracks me up is that I'm sure every raft guide has wanted to smack a customer every once in a while (maybe every trip?). This guy just went off and did it. Comedy!


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## Matt J (May 27, 2005)

oh well - sounds like they had a safe trip and you got some comedy


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## eljim (Sep 19, 2007)

I'm for stern frames on Gore, only if someone films it.


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## pyranha_rev (Aug 15, 2011)

What is the name of the company ?


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## Jenkins (Jul 17, 2011)

*To The Buzz of Mountainbuzz*

As the paddle-swinging guide of this very raft under discussion, I hope to put this comedy to rest. Why such an event was not left to comical barstool conversation instead of a publicly posted comment, I’ll never know. Over the years, this website has amazed me how it can bring people to spend more time writing about boating than actual time on the water. But, for those of you seeking truth, I offer you first-hand perspective. 

From what I see, the comments accumulated here fall from two distinct categories. 1. Comments from guides / former guides. 2. Comments from non-guides. For those of you in the first group, thank you. For the critics in both groups, however, I present one thought provoking question: Have you ever guided customers down Gore Canyon or any other Class 5?... Anyone? Bueller…

As a class 5 kayaker myself, I understand the luxury of being responsible for only one’s self. Yet having the responsibility and burden of being in charge of additional lives in Class 5 whitewater is something few can relate to. 

Over the last 16 years in commercial rafting (7.5 of them in our canyon of topic), I’ve come across perhaps 6 or 7 special people that have required a physical blow to the helmet or pfd to get them to calm down and listen. That Friday was one of those days. It was a first for me in Gore, and the first time I ever had to swing way out to hit a guy in the front of the boat. And, guess what Boilermaker? - It worked, but only for a few minutes. We had plenty more challenges that day. 

I, too, find it a little funny each time I’ve had to actually hit someone, and assure the baseball-bat-comparing critics that I’ve never made it hurt. In Class 3 water, I’d typically count how many times I’d have to say the word “stop” before it worked. Nine times is my record. Think about that. In Gore, guides don’t have time to say things twice, let alone 9 times. Now, I’d be willing to bet that Mogur has never seen Gore Canyon, but his oh so educational and rare #1 is true and occurred that day. Typically, Gore customers are of higher-caliber, but there are simply no guarantees. REZ427 - You’re the man, but I’ve taken countless newbies down there for multiple companies. Customer screening is not always perfect, and none of them have any clue about the dangers there. 

The group that Friday clearly had never been introduced to the urgency of a life and death situation until that comical and dangerous moment witnessed at Scissors. These tender young souls earned the title of my 2nd worst group taken down this canyon, and they have no idea how close they came to a brutal beatdown. That day will not exit my memory any time soon. 

I’ve seen too much nasty shit go down in that canyon and I’ve been around too many dead people to want to watch MY first customer die there. Equally, I do no want anyone else’s crapulance to get me killed. After years of success and failure teaching many thousands of people how to paddle, I’ve learned how to keep my instructions clear and simple. The level of clarity, sincerity, and intensity I have with my customers in Gore is obnoxiously thorough. No amount of additional explanation was helping these special people become more balanced, calm or capable either. Had those people had a more docile guide, one that didn’t end up dropping his 1st, 2nd, 3rd, and 4th F bomb of the season that day, someone could have died. Some people should just stick to board games. 

So to all of you bloggers and critics out there, understand this. When my crew’s lives are in danger and one guy is about to get us all killed, I guaranfuckingtee, that I will again, without shame, strike another customer with my paddle to regain their attention. If you have any questions or doubts behind this perspective, I suggest you visit this canyon and take a few customers down yourself. You will likely either end up high-fiving your paddle enthusiastically, or want to hit someone with it. 
Cheers.
K


Stubby - Ideal raft flows are 700-1400. 1200 is my favorite. Major props to the guys that paddled it this spring at 9K. By far the biggest successful run ever. Jeuvos gigante.
Studytime - You try it. I’ll film it and blog about it on mountainbuzz.
DeepSouth and friends - You know how I knew you were from Denver?


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## paulk (Apr 24, 2006)

right but why did you hit the poor man


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## raftus (Jul 20, 2005)

paulk said:


> right but why did you hit the poor man


Shirley, you can't be serious.


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## Theophilus (Mar 11, 2008)

Violence is never the answer.


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## UserName (Sep 7, 2007)

> I, too, find it a little funny each time I’ve had to actually hit someone,....


Please let us know what company you work for so that we can steer ppl away from a company that 'ever' finds it acceptable to hit clients with anything regardless of whether you think


> ...I’ve never made it hurt.


As a former commercial Gore Guide with well over 100+ commercial trips up there... I want to tell you that you should know it is crazy to meet ppl in the morning and take them down Gore. So that is your choice.. as is the choice to hit someone with your paddle. 

Guiding Gore can be really stressful. The topic here is not really about your clients stress.. it is about yours. Hitting ppl with paddles is not stress management.. it is stress exacerbation, only serves for you to blow off steam in inappropriate and counterproductive ways, and give a laugh to the ppl who are not boating with you.

I've been up there with ppl who are way over their head. I had one guy walk the whole canyon after applesauce and he was happy to do so. If they are in way over their head.. they know it.. Don't need it beaten into them.

Hitting someone with a paddle is not a professional way to deal with anything, under any circumstance. It is not the action of a professional guide.


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## Kendi (May 15, 2009)

Gotta say Jenkins- from the story you tell- I could def learn a thing or two from you. Trying to impress upon custies that have no idea how close to death they are about to come if they don't do exactly what they are told to do is more than frustrating on less difficult river- on what you're describing- well, lets just say I'm amazed all you did was pop the guy with the paddle.


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## mhelm (Jun 28, 2008)

I've come very close to hitting customers on some class 5 runs...(mainly Chattooga section IV). I've boated Gore a lot, but rafting it would suck, especially with clueless tourans. Many people have no business being in there, and I think Jenkins probably was more concerned with his guests' safety than hurting their feelings!


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## Kendi (May 15, 2009)

UserName said:


> If they are in way over their head.. they know it.. Don't need it beaten into them.
> 
> .


 You must never have had to guide East Indians


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## Matt J (May 27, 2005)

Jenkins, props for coming on here and offering an explanation.

Gore is in my humble opinion on the frontier of what is commercially raftable and hence attracts much debate.

Levels and customer experience are certainly two very important factors, but it disappoints me any time another guide or owner draws a line in the sand concerning either. Setting your own personal guidelines is prudent but thinking they should apply to everyone is folly.

I can remember an incident on class 4 in which a client pursued battery charges against a guide back at the outpost - food for thought.

Personally, having run Gore and commercially guided more river miles than most, I have a ton of respect for those of you that run it. Any trip that brings everyone home is a successful one.


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## Matt J (May 27, 2005)

btw - UserName, I noticed you classify yourself as a "former" - that alone is grounds for you to button it

what did Teddy Roosevelt say about the guy who actually enters the arena?


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## BoilermakerU (Mar 13, 2009)

Jenkins said:


> ...And, guess what Boilermaker? - It worked, but only for a few minutes. We had plenty more challenges that day...


I was actually on your side, although I am still not sure *I'd* hit anyone, not with a paddle anyway, and not very hard (baseball style to me implied assult-like force, which I am sure you didn't really use or the guy would be injured!). I agree with you that too much shit gets said on the Buzz by people that don't really know what happened. However, the season is more or less over for a lot of us, so I guess people need something to do until next spring! 

And no, I am not a guide but have felt your frustration with friends and others on simpler trips than Gore! But then again, I have kids.... LOL


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## JDHOG72 (Jul 18, 2007)

Ha..another thread out of control. I was in there that day too and was even paddling with front rangers!! It was comical to us passerbys. Prob not as comical to people in the raft. I have seen this raft company in Gore many times and the guides always seem very competent and friendly. Wish I was in there today.


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## adgeiser (May 26, 2009)

Jenkins said:


> DeepSouth and friends - You know how I knew you were from Denver?


Really?Because no front ranger is a serious boater? Nothing makes you sound intelligent like bashing someone based off of where they are from.

Never mind when the person you make a comment about IS the reason we have Bailey Fest.

Also your explanation does not change the comedic value to those who were not either you or the crustie you struck.

Your report of the events was nice though, so thanks for that.


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## wayniac (Mar 31, 2007)

*yup- done gore with stern frame*



raftus said:


> Guiding the crux in Gore Rapid with a stern frame is very problematic. Hell rowing the crux of gore is problematic. You have to ship your oars when you need to be in control of your position in the channel and your angle. Also going over some of the holes on a stern mounted frame would be guide ejector city. I haven't guided/rafted Cherry Creek (yet) so I can't make a comparison to that. I love stern mounts on wider channels (even at low water), but Gore presents some real issues. I know some experienced class V cat boaters that have had their lunch eaten on Gore.
> 
> For low flows on Gore about 750-800 is the low end for what I consider fun in a raft. I'm know people have run it down to 500-600. Kirschbaum's gets interesting at low flows. And the meat line in gore gets shallow as well.


 OK couldn't help myself after seeing all the posts. Ran a 12' sotar with slant board frame with 2 strong paddlers up front- the year was 1990- the flow1300cfs. Yes- have the video. But it was my very first run- and yes, I did portage the crux but dropped the boat in below Gore falls and ran scissors and pyrite- and all the rest. I've run it down to around 980 in my 11'6 cat and it's still OK ish. Haven't tried it lower than that- and probably wouldn't. The stern setup worked well- but THE move in Gore is the crux- and I can't speak to how the run would have gone. We had swimmers in one of our paddle crews that day- some of whom simply said screw it and walked out.


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## deepsouthpaddler (Apr 14, 2004)

Damn it mountainbuzz... look what you have done now!

Hey Jenkins... honestly thought it was funny and worth sharing. Sorry if it you got upset, not my intention. I would have guessed that you and your buddies got a good laugh after the customers left, but maybe not.

I try and see the comedy in life, but that obviously has issues in translation on the internet.

Glad a couple of you folks thought it was funny too.


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## TELEYAKCO (May 17, 2007)

Coming from a #1(raft guide)I think he did what was just.I've been down Gore 5 times as a passenger in an all guide raft and still was about to poop a little.Even some of the best guides with the best private crews have had there asses handed to them in there,you guys ever take a group of strangers without knowing there ability down Gore?I thought not,so until you do sit back in your recliner and think about the consequences of a rather than perfect trip in there.A paddle across the back beats a body recovery any day!You rock Jenkins!Keep up the good paddle work!


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## ednaout (Jun 3, 2005)

6 pages later.... this once funny story has been beat down...recirced... CHUNDERED.. and even debriefed... The Buzzards sure did an exceptional job of missing the point on this one. I didn't think you dudes were supposed to have periods! If you couldn't have a simple chuckle at the visual this little story offered, I suggest some Motrin and chamomile tea.


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## Matt J (May 27, 2005)

I don't see why so many of you buzzards get so upset when any kind of actual ::discussion:: goes on around here.

It's September, all that's running is Gore, and ::shocker:: people want to talk about it.

We get it. The OP thought it was funny. Most of us agree that seeing a guide whack a guest is kinda funny. I'm sure if you heard some of the shit I say to people in my raft you would find it pretty funny. That doesn't preclude us from discussing stern mounts in Gore, corporal punishment as an appropriate recourse in class 5, and in general the guide / client relationship. Get over it.

Personally, I haven't seen anything inappropriate or off topic in this discussion. Speaking of CHUNDER - I think the CHUNDERBOY would approve. Sure beats the norm which is dead-as-fuck around here - give me talk about Gore ten to one over another thread about flatwater campsites and which cooler keeps your ice coldest.


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## ednaout (Jun 3, 2005)

> We get it. The OP thought it was funny.


I can just hear the laugher spilling from you: )



> I suggest some Motrin and chamomile tea.


evening primrose works well too.


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## ~Bank (Jul 31, 2010)

I was below the pile of rock that Jenkins was stuck on. I had a good perspective of his run from the top. His crew did not paddle hard enough to make the fairy to the eddy on river left so he had to give new instructions on how to paddle through sissors. His clients were all doing something different, they were all freaking out. When he got stuck on river right below sissors his clients did not get highside for a couple seconds until he encouraged them with enough screaming and a good wack to get them moving faster. It worked, they were then all able to get out safely onto shore and get back in below. I was in the same eddy as the photo boater, I wonder if he got a photo? That would be hilarious. It looked like he hit a female custy from where I was sitting.


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## bigben (Oct 3, 2010)

i only been in there once, and that place scares me. you cats that take custys down there got bigger stones than most of us, that's for damn sure. 
in a place like that, if custys won't listen, i say let the beating commence. i'd rather beat some sense into my guests than spend all day picking up swimmers (or worse) just cause they wouldn't listen...
...my 2cents
either way, pretty funny to watch it all, i'm sure


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## xena13 (Mar 21, 2007)

I've been in Gore a few times as a customer and I know I'd prefer a whack in the back of the helmut to a swim in Scissors. It'd be WAY less brutal.


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## ~Bank (Jul 31, 2010)

I agree, I've swam over Pyrite before, it hurt more than a paddle wack to the back of the PFD. Those custies have no idea how close they were to swimming Pyrite. Good job to Jenkins for narrowly avoiding a more nasty outcome. Thanks again for the comedy in the canyon and on the Buzz.


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## willieWAO (Jun 14, 2005)

I'am and Dont call me Shirley.

hard to believe i was the first to get it: AIRPLANE. BOOM!


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