# This Explains The Floods, At Long Last!



## boldtwatermann (May 15, 2011)

Wait, if that's sinful Colorado, why is it in the generally conservative plains? Shouldn't it be located in one of the hotbeds of socialism like Boulder?
Someone ought to point out as well that the mountains are to the west, so the hopeful rays of sun are coming from the north west. Idaho perhaps?


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## widewhale (May 28, 2007)

Dude! Crack open that Schlitz and throw me a turkey leg! 'Bout lost my life laughing at that website! That may be better than The Onion.

"Friends, Colorado got drenched with floodwater because they legalized weed. The smell of it likely wafted up to heaven and upset the angels, who wept and complained until God felt compelled to just wash out all the unnatural herbs and put them under a deep freeze with his mighty winter winds that are awaiting."

Please Send Prayers for Colorado Flood Victims, Because Sending Money Would Be Socialism - Topekas News


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## Jensjustduckie (Jun 29, 2007)

I find this paragraph simultaneously hilarious and terrifying:

"Down in my heart and deep, deep down in my spirit, I can sense that the people of Colorado must repent if they do not want this type of thing to happen. They must confess it was selfish, sinful and downright disgusting that they would vote to inhale the vapors of something so reviling, deadly and addictive as marijuana then claim it was not dangerous at all, especially when the Bible says so."


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## widewhale (May 28, 2007)

Thank you, Captishmael. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

"Those who smoke marijuana for the first time often wake up, panties missing and gonads musky with the forgotten exploits of the night before. Their ravaged bodies are in panic, hallucinations and anxiety driving heart palpitations, stroke symptoms and a probable heart attack."

What Happens When You Smoke Weed for the First Time? - Topekas News


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## glcasson21 (Apr 16, 2009)

bahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! thanks for posting this!


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## cadster (May 1, 2005)

For science go here: Colorado Deluge: "Could Be Classified as a 1,000-Year Event" - ImaGeo | DiscoverMagazine.com


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## Swank (Jun 20, 2009)

Isn't freedom of speech and religion hilarious. AHAHA


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## cayo 2 (Apr 20, 2007)

I wish tokin' would help get my gonads musky more often...the Rastas claim the religious right to smoke because some biblical passage says (paraphrasing) 'God gave all the hetbs of the earth to be used as sacraments ',oh course they also justify cheating on their women and boning everything in sight because Solomon had a bunch of wives.


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## mania (Oct 21, 2003)

this seems like a satire site similar to the onion? one of my fb friends about flipped his shit in anger over these articles for no reason.


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## cayo 2 (Apr 20, 2007)

The Shawn White article is hysterical.


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## cayo 2 (Apr 20, 2007)

Yeah Mania read the comments people wrote to him ..gotta be a put on, even in Topeka,but some take him seriously unless they are in on it....there are some whack -a-doodles out there though...
..


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## formerflatlander (Aug 8, 2013)

Might be, unfortunately, real. There is a preacher out of Topeka who is a disgrace to anyone claiming to worship God. I, as a very religious person, feel disgusted by him. He would print and say things such as this.


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## 86304 (Apr 15, 2008)

this is great satire, pure and simple. 

there are intelligent people in kansas, also,
(as opposed to religious "whack-a-doodles").


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## cayo 2 (Apr 20, 2007)

I thought Fred Phelps was out of Wichita and was king of the nut jobs.Well, maybe not, apparently this Bynum guy has made these kinds of outrageous /pee your pants ridiculous pronouncements before and pisses off a lot of people.It sure reads like the Onion.He looks a lot like if Dennis Miller did 50 bong hits.

Some nuts loosely associated with Phelps started all the over the top allegations against Clinton that lead, ultimately, to the attempted impeachment over Whitewater.Even Republicans in Arkansas dismissed them as nuts.But, Richard. Mellon Scaife helped take their absurd claims national and really gave birth to the whole Fox -Limbaugh assault on reason.None of the original charges were ever anywhere near proven 



but their ace in the hole was that Slick Willie 's philandering was well known since back in his days as Arkansas governor.Feeding the desire to believe this kind of stuff is a big factor in the polarization and dysfunction of our politics and society.So, as funny as it is this suit is dangerous.

O.ne of the funniest tirades I read was about how many cigarettes he smoked because he was so stressed over 'devil weed '.


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## Nathan (Aug 7, 2004)

cayo 2 said:


> I thought Fred Phelps was out of Wichita and was king of the nut jobs.Well, maybe not, apparently this Bynum guy has made these kinds of outrageous /pee your pants ridiculous pronouncements before and pisses off a lot of people.It sure reads like the Onion.He looks a lot like if Dennis Miller did 50 bong hits.
> 
> Some nuts loosely associated with Phelps started all the over the top allegations against Clinton that lead, ultimately, to the attempted impeachment over Whitewater.Even Republicans in Arkansas dismissed them as nuts.But, Richard. Mellon Scaife helped take their absurd claims national and really gave birth to the whole Fox -Limbaugh assault on reason.None of the original charges were ever anywhere near proven
> 
> ...


This is what makes it even better, people that believe this isn't satire. Get a grip man.


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## cayo 2 (Apr 20, 2007)

Nathan I thought it was satire too (still not sure) but I tried to look into him and his church and he has caused a fuss before even garnered some national attention.I agree it is hard to believe and hope I am wrong.

Even if this is a put on, there are people who believe stuff that nuts out there and people manipulating and exploiting them politically.


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## hojo (Jun 26, 2008)

The linking Obama to the pot issue seems to say it's satire. Legalization passed due to the libertarians (certainly not O supporters) so either he has no idea how it passed or it's satire.


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## 86304 (Apr 15, 2008)

read this by same author

Pillsbury Dough Boy Dies of Yeast Infection, Infected By Needle at New York Tattoo Parlor - Topekas News


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## Schutzie (Feb 5, 2013)

You Godless Heathens should pay closer attention to the sane words coming out of Kansas.

You can spout your support of that "devil in a suit" Obama, toke your devil weed, and throw yourselves into the raging flood waters foisted on you by a "done with this nonsense" and highly agitated God, but know that judgement day is a comin, and God is PISSED.

You must, to save your mortal souls, immediately repent! 

Send me your devil weed and your river gear; if you have any permits kindly send them as well so you can avoid temptation. Also, make sure all of that devil brew you have stashed away is sent as well; you must recognize that even though your 100 Proof Schnapps isn't as dangerous as that devil weed, it also is a temptation you should avoid.

I will properly dispose of it all for you.

No need to thank me, my soul has been blessed by the all mighty many times; the devil cannot tempt me. I consider this to be my civic duty.


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## cayo 2 (Apr 20, 2007)

mania said:


> this seems like a satire site similar to the onion? one of my fb friends about flipped his shit in anger over these articles for no reason.


86304 that kind of seals the deal....the Shawn White piece should have. been obvious enough, thought maybe it (the photo of Rocky from Mask) as his version of snarkiness....if you tried to research him you were led to a lot of dead ends..pretty elaborate hoax...one dead end was the Flat Earth Society,reading their FAQ made it seem they are serious but the commentary all seems to be scientifically oriented liberals so can 't tell if they are for real or no....he has been up to it since at least 11/12.....Nathan read the book "What 's the Matter with Kansas ' by Thomas Frank, it is extremely well sourced and researched and documents the evolution of that type of thinking and how good ordinary people are duped into serving the interests of the rich at the expense of their own, often in conjunction with conservative religion...no he is not just bashing Kansas .He is from there.


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## cayo 2 (Apr 20, 2007)

Hojo,

I donn 't know many dems who opposed more permissive weed laws.Traditionally it has been the conservatives who have been more hard ass.Vicky Buckley hid petitions that would have put marijuana issues on the ballot when she was Sec.of State of Co.(they found them under her bed when she died) .Catherine Speltz a republican legislator from Littleton (?) spearheaded the campaign to get rid of head shops back in the day.Obama had been ball -less on.the issue all over the map.Holder 's job is to enforce federal law.Most recently I thought they said they are not going to hassle p3ople in the states that have liberalized it, but reserve the right to..I do agree that the growth of libertarianism on the right turned the tide.It is also a function of the baby boomers and younger groups growing up with it, so not so threatened by it.


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## hojo (Jun 26, 2008)

cayo 2 said:


> Hojo, I donn 't know many dems who opposed more permissive weed laws.Traditionally it has been the conservatives who have been more hard ass.Vicky Buckley hid petitions that would have put marijuana issues on the ballot when she was Sec.of State of Co.(they found them under her bed when she died) .Catherine Speltz a republican legislator from Littleton (?) spearheaded the campaign to get rid of head shops back in the day.Obama had been ball -less on.the issue all over the map.Holder 's job is to enforce federal law.Most recently I thought they said they are not going to hassle p3ople in the states that have liberalized it, but reserve the right to..I do agree that the growth of libertarianism on the right turned the tide.It is also a function of the baby boomers and younger groups growing up with it, so not so threatened by it.


I was just simply stating a numbers thing. More people voted for the amendment than voted for obama. No conspiracy or politics.


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## marko (Feb 25, 2004)

Speaking of marijuana being made legal in CO. There is one more very very important step for CO voters: Voting YES on Proposition AA this coming local election cycle. 

Marijuana will still be legal if Prop AA does not pass. However, the funds to pay for the regulatory agencies that will be monitoring the sale, regulation and enforcement of it will have to be taken from some place else. And since CO is a balanced budget state the funds to pay for all of this will most likely come from the school budget (because that is always the first thing to get cut when state funds are needed someplace else).

Part of the reason Amendment 64 passed was because it was pitched that it would help support CO schools. This will be true ONLY if Prop AA passes. If not, Amendment 64 will end up taking money away from CO schools. This would be the saddest irony of all time, imho, and will also create enormous animosity towards the pro-legal pot movement. 

Please spread the word about Prop AA.


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## hojo (Jun 26, 2008)

He's back at it. Did we ever determine if it's satire or mental disability?
Cheating Denver Broncos Flood Stadium With Marijuana Smoke, Cause Dizzied Chiefs To Lose Sunday Night Game - Topekas News


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## DoStep (Jun 26, 2012)

marko said:


> Speaking of marijuana being made legal in CO. There is one more very very important step for CO voters: Voting YES on Proposition AA this coming local election cycle.
> 
> Marijuana will still be legal if Prop AA does not pass. However, the funds to pay for the regulatory agencies that will be monitoring the sale, regulation and enforcement of it will have to be taken from some place else. And since CO is a balanced budget state the funds to pay for all of this will most likely come from the school budget (because that is always the first thing to get cut when state funds are needed someplace else).
> 
> ...




I voted for 64 partly because we were to treat it like alcohol. AA adds 15% at the point of sale, on top of existing sales tax, which is nothing like how alcohol is treated. I'm not sure where excise tax (taxed at wholesale level I believe? But still passed on to the consumer) comes to play on either product, and I'm ok with some level of that to help run the enforcing agency, cuz that is a necessary part that comes along with legalization. But the POS tax is excessive, and encourages the black market for folks who live in CO. I don't believe the tax proposed by AA is in the vein of what the people voted for, regardless of who the beneficiary is. But it sure passed by a wide margin!

Don't toss those red cards just yet...


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## lmyers (Jun 10, 2008)

DoStep said:


> I voted for 64 partly because we were to treat it like alcohol. AA adds 15% at the point of sale, on top of existing sales tax, which is nothing like how alcohol is treated. I'm not sure where excise tax (taxed at wholesale level I believe? But still passed on to the consumer) comes to play on either product, and I'm ok with some level of that to help run the enforcing agency, cuz that is a necessary part that comes along with legalization. But the POS tax is excessive, and encourages the black market for folks who live in CO. I don't believe the tax proposed by AA is in the vein of what the people voted for, regardless of who the beneficiary is. But it sure passed by a wide margin!
> 
> Don't toss those red cards just yet...


I don't think it's called "black market" when you and your buddies are growing a plant legally in your own homes. In my opinion that's called bypassing the corporate and government bullshit. It's not like it's coming from Mexico. We voted to legalize it, not to create an industry (that just happens to be a side effect of legalization) and although it was sold on the ballot as being a boost to the schools, I believe most of that will be coming from tourists and out of state visitors. Most Coloradans aren't going to pay the excessive taxes, they will purchase it from a local grower (which is still legal) or will get medical cards.


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