# texans



## teamamericawp (Jun 29, 2006)

I'm sorry Andy, I couldn't resist. 

Part of the allure to a forum like this is the ability to speak your mind and not be censured, to a point. Shutting down a useless thread is counter-productive in the long wrong. As for the "administration/advisory team", I've had enough of Lumburg, TPS Reports and other corporate mumbo-jumbo. If I need that I'll go to work more often.

Bye the way, how do you get time to post while travelling the world, may I guess a ghost writer. I'm from Ohio and I hate Michiganders.......and Texans!


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## oopsyhuck (Jun 21, 2006)

You can't hate Texans 'til you know Texans. Who do you know, Ohio?


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## oopsyhuck (Jun 21, 2006)

Love for your homeland is on one end of the see-saw, and hatred for the outsider is on the other.

Broaden your mind. And it will balance out.


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## Lyn_Sneed (Jun 29, 2006)

My husband is pure Texan, kept his license plate on as long as possible, has a Texan flag on his truck, and listens to Robert Earl Keen like it is going out of style. He's maybe too Texan. I will tell you this, though, he is more "man" than most all of the cool-daddio Colorado boys I have ever met.

I have been reading this website since I started kayaking last Spring, but couldn't sit quiet on this one when it got ugly towards people from TX. 

Repeat after me: "A state is just a state, let's try not to hate".

Also: "Love your brother and your mother then make room to love another"

Also, be careful what you wish for. I would hate to see timmay call the bluff of one of our own and come up here and start throwing fists around. Knowing how guys from Texas are, he'd be up here to clip dreadlocks and step on Birkenstocks. They don't play around down there. I bet the unlucky one of you guys would take a class V ass-whupping from a class III boater. I'd leave well enough alone and not taunt him, but that's just my under-testosteroned opinion. You guys flex nuts if you have to, though.

I enjoy reading the website. Please, Andy, don't censor it anymore!


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## Geezer (Oct 14, 2003)

OK, I gotta pitch in here.

Texans are like flies - they eat shit and bother people.


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## Andy H. (Oct 13, 2003)

I've been annoyed by plenty of people from all the coolest places and met great folks from all parts too. 

It don't matter where you're from, what matters is where you are now and you're going (metaphorically speaking).

--A


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## rivermanryan (Oct 30, 2003)

Well, Lyn, I wouldn't be tooting your horn too loud about your Texas husband and dissing the Colorado men because look where you are from!

Farmington, New Mexico. When I first went through Farmington, I thought I had left the US and entered a refugee camp. You have to have USA on your license plates just so people don't confuse you with Mexico, which is understandable because most of the time there is very little difference. You come up here, steal our gas (Read Durango Herald Blotter), drive recklessly (San Juan County has one of the highest insurance rates in the country), think you are Raiders Fans (btw-they play in Oakland, CA), you have more murders in your town each year than Durango has in 25 years, randon stabbings, drive-bys in city parks, polluted water, more junk yards per capita than anywhere, who doesn't have a DWI/DUI and a meth problem from there?. Have you ever heard of selling new funiture in your stores? Wal-mart doesn't even trust you to have Self Checkout! You like to drive all over our private property with those stupid oversize trucks in a caravan and those pick-ups with the little orange flags so we can see you coming.
Etc, Etc. I am sure people can add much more to this list.

Actually, I am kidding. Just wanted to start on New Mexico when I saw where you were from.


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## maximumbob2222 (Jun 28, 2006)

Geezer said:


> OK, I gotta pitch in here.
> 
> Texans are like flies - they eat shit and bother people.


Come on at least put a little effort into it.


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## Texas (Feb 22, 2006)

I can tell you for a fact that Timmay is nobody to mess with. He is around 6'3 and 250. Probably eat a few of you in one bite if he wasn't such a good-hearted, kind, peaceful fella. He is actually a nice guy.


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## Lyn_Sneed (Jun 29, 2006)

Now that I have made my first post and have gotten berated about my geographic location, I kind of feel like my cherry just got popped all over again. Mamma like.


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## maximumbob2222 (Jun 28, 2006)

Texas said:


> I can tell you for a fact that Timmay is nobody to mess with. He is around 6'3 and 250. Probably eat a few of you in one bite if he wasn't such a good-hearted, kind, peaceful fella. He is actually a nice guy.


but he is gay so dont let him pin you on the ground :shock:


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## J (Nov 6, 2003)

What do you call an empty pair of cowboy boots sitting on the bar room floor?

A Texan with the shit kicked out of him.

Sorry, couldn't resist.


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## Texas (Feb 22, 2006)

Nah, he ain't gay. Just trying to rile you boys and girls up. You prolly met him and just don't know it. If not, I'm sure you will. Likeable fella.


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## Texas (Feb 22, 2006)

J said:


> What do you call an empty pair of cowboy boots sitting on the bar room floor?
> 
> A Texan with the shit kicked out of him.
> 
> Sorry, couldn't resist.


Must be an open boater...


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## Texas (Feb 22, 2006)

A Coloradoan sitting in a kayak was getting cold so he decided to light a fire in his boat. It promptly sank, proving once again that you cant have your kayak and heat it too.

Drum roll...


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## maximumbob2222 (Jun 28, 2006)

J said:


> What do you call an empty pair of cowboy boots sitting on the bar room floor?
> 
> A Texan with the shit kicked out of him.
> 
> Sorry, couldn't resist.


Lame Lame Lame. Try harder boys these jokes are lame.


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## Lyn_Sneed (Jun 29, 2006)

Is timmay Chris L. from San Antonio? That is a TX boater I met this summer that wouldn't quit with the "timmay" (from South Park) jokes.


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## Lyn_Sneed (Jun 29, 2006)

If so, he's a funny guy.


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## Lyn_Sneed (Jun 29, 2006)

Nevermind. I think I know who timmay is. I think he is really from Boulder and has another name on this board. I sleuthed that one on my own from a clue in an older post.


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## Texas (Feb 22, 2006)

Nah...his name is David and he is from Austin.


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## Steve Kahn (Apr 17, 2004)

*testosterone*

lyn - finally, a post that made me laugh - however, i'm not laughing with you - i think you need to re-read your post with some fresh eyes. 

although you want to appear to be higher than all, by stating you are not into this machoism, you jump right in to threaten people from your husband or this timmay dude - 

from my experince on this website, i find most of the people are much more evolved than this eye for an eye, i'm tougher than you, i've got bigger biceps and a bigger dick than you kind of mentality. 

i think we're all happy that you have a very tough man. maybe you guys can enter some competitions and prove to the world how great you are and how tough. this crap is so funny to me, seeing as kayaking is more a sport of finess than strength. now before you threaten me, let me say that i'm sure your husband would kick my ass. maybe you might too? i'm a scrawny 170 lb weakling...no physical threat here, but i try to enjoy life and eat lots of tasty food (pot belly). i hope that if we ever meet on the river, we can find some common ground (even though i'm from arizona), and share this world in a postive way. it is understandable that being from texas, and being attacked so much can casue this kind of reaction, but don't sink to their level. instead, how about some beta on your favoirite runs?


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## oopsyhuck (Jun 21, 2006)

How can you tell when you are with a Texas Aggie?

Because the shit is on the INSIDE of the boots!


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## Lyn_Sneed (Jun 29, 2006)

Sorry, Steve, the world doesn't work like that. I was responding to a post where somebody threatened to sodomize little timmay with his beer cans and probably their penis for all I know. There was some talk about a $100 bet for a fist fight. This is childish. This is lame. Laugh at that poser, not me. I am not the humorist here, but just one calling it like I see it. I can understand that as a "170 pound weakling" you are constantly going around not trying to step on any toes, but not all men are that way. Sometime the big boys play rough. No harm, no foul, just as long as everybody knows the score and is cool with it before it gets going. I learned that from my 3 brothers over 25 years ago when I was a teenager. So, I am not dogging you, and would love to paddle with you. Heck, my husband will even boat with you, too! Even if his dick is way bigger and his right bicep outweighs you when you're soaking wet :lol: :lol: .


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## maximumbob2222 (Jun 28, 2006)

YOU MIGHT BE FROM COLORADO IF...



... You carry your $3,000 mountain bike on top of your $500 car.

... You thought "Californication" would be banned by Amendment 2.

... You think "South Park" is a place to stop for gas on your way to Buena Vista.

... You have a business degree and are frying burgers at a McDonald's in Vail.

... You have a flat tire in your refrigerator and your garage.

... You tell your husband to pick up granola on his way home from work and he stops at the day care.

... You own a big dog named Aspen, Buck, Cheyenne or Dakota that wears a bandanna.

... You cast out your fishing line while white-water rafting.

... You've never seen the tourist attractions in your own city.

... All summer you thought a ******* named "Bubby" was gonna be your quarterback.

...You think a pass does not involve a football or a woman.

... You are 82 years old and take up snowboarding.

... Your SUV tire size exceeds your IQ.

... Your real Y2K fear is running out of Celestial Seasonings tea and trail mix.

... The entire top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.

... You personally wouldn't pay $10 per head to drive up Pikes Peak unless it was the only mountain on earth, but you tell all our house-guests to do it.

... You can recite the entire Bible from memory, but can't remember to use your turn signal (CO Springs).

... You get depressed after one day of foggy weather.

... You wear the latest fashions a year after they went out of style.

... You think that formal wear is ironed denim.

... North means "mountains to the left;" south is "mountains to the right;" and east and west are where all those damned liberals keep moving in from.

... You go anywhere else on the planet and the air feels "sticky" and you notice the sky is no longer blue.

... You consider a three-piece suit to be a pair of shorts, a sweatshirt and Birkenstocks.

... You see your East Coast relatives now more than when you lived there.

... You think gun control is not dropping it.

... Your bridal registry is at REI.

... You can run up 10 flights of stairs without huffing and puffing.

... You've ever stood on solid ground and looked down on an airplane in flight.


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## l-dot (Dec 20, 2003)

You call those other jokes lame and this is the best you could do. 

This one is pretty good though:



maximumbob2222 said:


> ... You tell your husband to pick up granola on his way home from work and he stops at the day care.


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## maximumbob2222 (Jun 28, 2006)

yes they are lame I agree but it ws all I could find.


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## Steve Zizzou (May 23, 2006)

Lyn: Whats up with all the bashing, trashing and foul language and then at the end of your post you plug a bible site. Hmm very interesting. 

Max: Some funny shit you got going on there. I can relate to some of those and the other I have witnessed.


"Oh, shit! Swamp leeches. Everybody, check for swamp leeches, and pull them off... Nobody else got hit? I'm the only one? What's the deal?" 
-Steve Zissou


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## Lyn_Sneed (Jun 29, 2006)

What is so "interesting"? Why the attack on me? I thought we were having fun here?

Is foul language a sin or something? The last time I checked, it was not. Let's not make this personal. I will send timmay after you.


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## maximumbob2222 (Jun 28, 2006)

we need to get timmay reinstated! :twisted:


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## Lyn_Sneed (Jun 29, 2006)

I agree. I think there are plenty of people that have an axe to gring with timmay. If he wants to come back, why not let him so everyone can grind it? I was enjoying reading his posts as most of what I have read on here during the last year has been directed at Texas from Coloradans. It was nice to see the opposite for a change (not that I don't LOVE Colorado and the Rockies all together). It just made me laugh quite a bit, that's all.


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## Lyn_Sneed (Jun 29, 2006)

It just makes no sense to ban somebody from your website.


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## maximumbob2222 (Jun 28, 2006)

Lyn_Sneed, you want a laugh click here paddletexas.com


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## maximumbob2222 (Jun 28, 2006)

Come 1 come all

http://www.paddletexas.com/

Paddlin UNcensored!!!!


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## Steve Zizzou (May 23, 2006)

Lyn 
No bash or attack on you, just a simple question thats all. If I were to bash it would probably be a little harsher from the old Steve Z


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## El quapo (Apr 14, 2006)

Yes, go. paddletexass.com

go, go, go, go, go, go, go


Go away already. I'm pretty sure you wont find any colorado boaters on that board.

Fuck, you idiots like to hear yourself talk.

Does it even occur to you brilliant, like-minded people that everyone is ignoring you. Or does it occur to you nobody gives a shit who and how big dumbfuck texastimmy.....or your ohhh so lucky husband is? Christ, that follows with your sterotypical texass meathead school of thought. Shit, i would give anything for you to hear how stupid you sound but I dont think that is in the cards.

Moderating is a science and frenchy is the professor. His timing for silencing you taint's is impeccable. He's doin us a favor from keeping filth like little tim tim and any other annoying, attention starved asses from opening their wordholes and subjecting us to any further stupidity that spews from it.

....and take off that annoying full screen avatar....it's a fuckin kayakin board not fox news

...and zissou, love the quotes, classic.


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## caverdan (Aug 27, 2004)

Some day you kids will learn that hating has no place in boating....... :x ..... or has anything to do with the river...... :wink: ......butt then again...........your sitting here on your a$$...........in front of a computer screen........ on the internet..........hating life.....  ....... cause your not sitting in your boat...........floating down a river.............enjoying life...................  I can just see the hate rolling off your young keyboards. :lol: :lol: :lol: 



I too vote for *NO censorship*........but you can censor a couple of them rude Texans if ya'll want. :twisted: 

Frenchy......Best of luck and thanks for providing this old dead head with a most entertaining forum. You deserve free beer for life from us users. 

I'll buy you a couple of rounds if our paths ever cross.
:shock:  
Andy......Good luck. I like your suggestion of an off topic forum......Remember........a good admin is seldom seen. :wink:


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## oopsyhuck (Jun 21, 2006)

4get timmay, he sux.

don't pay him no mind


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## Gary E (Oct 27, 2003)

"You can't hate Texans 'til you know Texans. Who do you know, Ohio?"


I don't need to know any texans. I knew I hated em the day they lost the alamo. Rat bastards, stay on your side of the border.

Gary

ps-everytime I drive through that toilet bowl and see "don't mess with texASS" I just have to throw some trash


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## BastrdSonOfElvis (Mar 24, 2005)

Frenchy, I'm with caverdan on the free brews. If you ever see a man at a bar that's better looking than a man should be with stunning and provocative hip-action...approach, introduce yourself, and enjoy a night of freebies for you and your lady.[/i]


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## Texas (Feb 22, 2006)

Gary E said:


> "You can't hate Texans 'til you know Texans. Who do you know, Ohio?"
> 
> 
> I don't need to know any texans. I knew I hated em the day they lost the alamo. Rat bastards, stay on your side of the border.
> ...


You must be the reason we have trash all over our roadsides. Hell, I thought it was the ********.


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## yakattack (Jun 30, 2006)

Why the fuss? Is this not America? Freedom of speech!!!! Thats not to much to ask.


From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia


A public demonstrationFreedom of speech is the concept of being able to speak freely without censorship. It is often regarded as an integral concept in modern liberal democracies. The right to freedom of speech is guaranteed under international law through numerous human rights instruments, notably under Article 19 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights and Article 10 of the European Convention on Human Rights, although implementation remains lacking in many countries. The synonymous term freedom of expression is sometimes preferred, since the right is not confined to verbal speech but is understood to protect any act of seeking, receiving and imparting information or ideas, regardless of the medium used.

The right to freedom of expression is not absolute in any country; governments always prohibit certain types of expressions. Under international law, restrictions on free speech are required to comport with a strict three part test: they must be provided by law, pursue an aim recognized as legitimate, and be necessary (i.e., proportionate) for the accomplishment of that aim. Amongst the aims considered legitimate are protection of the rights and reputations of others (prevention of defamation), and the protection of national security and public order, health and morals. It is generally recognised that restrictions should be the exception and free expression the rule; nevertheless, compliance with this principle is often lacking.


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## yakattack (Jun 30, 2006)

I think it even includes Texans.


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## Texas (Feb 22, 2006)

Bummer....PaddleTexas is down. Guess we will have to bring it to this board. Ant of the PTex crew know what's up with our sandbox?


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## flipit (Jul 22, 2005)

Too much cat crap and hair balls.


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## yakattack (Jun 30, 2006)

watch it Mr. flipit using words like crap will get u banned.


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## yakattack (Jun 30, 2006)

the website you are talking about works. maybe you typed the address wrong. Texans cant spell so here is a link for y'all

http://www.paddletexas.com/modules.php?op=modload&name=PNphpBB2&file=index


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## Steve Zizzou (May 23, 2006)

El guapo. Thanks for the quote praise. The movie is a classic and Bill Murray just get better with age like fine wine and jeans.


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## BUSTERonBUFFALO (Jul 5, 2006)

If TexASS is so great why don't they stay in TexASS??? 

I've lived in Oklahoma, Washington, Arkansas, North Carolina and Colorado. In every one of those great states Texans would move in and try to tell me how great and how much better TexASS was. I would always ask the same question. "If it so great why did you move"? I always got the same deer in headlights look with no real answer. :shock:


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## confused (Sep 29, 2005)

ok, I hate texans because they move to DGO and complain, unlike the californians who acctually appreciate it (not saying that the californians shouldn't leave too), plus we in la plata county ( DGO, Ignacio, Bayfeild, Arboles, Tiffany, Oxford) got the religious whackos who thought that there was going to be nuclear war during the cold war and moved to CO because the mountains change the air flow and the radiation wouldn't come here.:evil: Then, this same group of texans doesn't like women getting an education and have a society where a convicted wife-beater is allowed to take the pulpit and talk about brotherly love. Also, this group will ostersize people if they do something not normal. I know, my family used to be friends with these people until i cut my hair to bob length. They also think it is their duty to save your immortal soul from eternal damnation and then once your baptised they come and tell you what your problem is nd what you should do about it. Then you meet the kids. The kid are all asses. I got told by a seven year old ( I was twelve) "My daddy says ladies have long hair." This from a girl whose mother walks three paces behind her father. 

Its not just teaxans i hate anyways, i hate the people who move to dgo, live here for four years, and think they can tell me (I grew up here, my mom grew up in cortez) anything about durango, including "DGO should have had more rain by now." screw them. agreed, we need more rain but it caome at the end of July through august, and through the first week of september. these are the people who weren't here for the Missionary Ridge fire or when Mesa Verde was burning, don't realize just how dry it gets, and they think they have the right to tell me any thing. get them and their sorry asses back to whatever state they came from and leave me in peace


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## BastrdSonOfElvis (Mar 24, 2005)

woh...you need a qualude. you remind me of that incredibly angry chick in "Waiting", that movie with the van wilder dude. that's the kind of hate that brings you to the dark side of the force.

Come with me and together we can rule the universe as father and son (er, daughter)


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## LoopDog (Apr 13, 2004)

Confused, you must be one of those people who ride around with your rainbow colored "No Vacancy" bumber sticker, and wear your yellow lens sunglasses on sunny days because you are too extreme. You seem like you need to get out, maybe Durango is cramping your style. Go somewhere with more ******, get your munch on and quit being so hateful.


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## rwc (Jun 15, 2005)

*texans and coloradians*

I think the guys from paddletexas are a bunch of pathetic wannabe paddlers. They sit around all day and pine over the lack of water and lack of boating, and when it does rain, they go out and the river looks like a fifty cent yard sale. I had oopsychuck call me out and call me a "non-paddler" one time, and when I challenged him to a comparison of paddling resumes', that seemed to shut him up. If you go to www.paddletexas.com, check out the number of post. The number of post is usually inversely proportional to their paddling ability.

With that being said, I hate colorado paddlers. They are a bunch of people that think that everyone else owes them something or they are a blessing from God because they live in Colorado. You are all a bunch of pathetic pretentious bastards.

Viva Chattooga!


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## boulderite (Nov 10, 2003)

Wonder why it called the Lonestar state ? because no one else wants it.
Fort Worthless was recently (last couple of years) rated the FATTEST
city in America hmmmmmmm and sadly their bar-b-que even sucks. Brisket
my ass. David Koresh must still be running the place.
If it were not for Robert Earl Keen and David Allen Coe and the Lodge in Dallas. Texas would be wasteland.
God Bless Colorado


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## &d (Apr 28, 2006)

HA HA HA HA, so i go to paddle texas and start flipping through this photo gallery, looking at this set of clean, biggish class III rapids going, wow, that looks like a great play run! I should go to texas! .... the i saw it, on the bottom of the page "Gallery: Colorado river trips" .. turns out it was brown's canyon.. mexican creek looks like a fun one though, maybe its like 20 miles long, and also in colorado


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## bouldrmatty (Aug 9, 2004)

*Straight to hell boy !! (kenny)*

Ken Ley = Texan = A$$Wipe..

Died in Colorado.. That is one way to get them out of the state...


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## rockinRio (Jul 3, 2006)

OKAY - here it is, my mother grew up in west Texas, she took a teaching job in Rawlins Wyoming, sight unseen, and STAYED for two years just to get the heck out of Texas. She swore she would do whatever it took to get out of Texas, so that she didn't have to raise Texas boys. To this day she is glad she did.

Have you ever been to Rawlins? It is the armpit of the western US. That to me says all that has to be said about Texas.

"Texas - a whole other country"

I sure wish it was!


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## El Flaco (Nov 5, 2003)

> I hate texans because they move to DGO and complain


 ....etc, etc...

...Unlike the Durango natives that live there and complain....  

I would bet at least 75% the population of Durango are people from places other than La Plata county. If you want to live in a Colorado town where everyone's a "born 'n bred" O.G. local, you're going to have to go out to Yuma, Colorado; or some such town. But then you'll be the outsider THEY complain about. 

Get over yourself. Durango would be an economically depressed 1 horse town without the imported population and their money. What do you do for work? I'd be willing to bet that it's either tied to tourism in some way, or a business started by a non-Durango native. That's the trade-off of living in such a nice place to live. But what do I know- I only lived there for 7 years; I'm probably a know-nothing "outsider". 

I will say this- most of the Durango natives that I know aren't nearly as bitter about their neighbors as you are.


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## gapers (Feb 14, 2004)

This was probably covered already but i'm tool lazy to read all the threads. Why the shit do all these morons(texans) have stickers of their state flag, if not a flag itself, inside their trucks and mega SUV's? I've never seen a single person from a diff state flying their state flag. Who the shit cares!! Do they think their state flag looks that cool or something? Or that we might be impressed that your from Texas? Is it cause Stars are so hot right now? I'm lost, someone tell me. Preferably a dumbass from texas.


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## rivermanryan (Oct 30, 2003)

In a slight defense of the flags, most state flags are basically state seals on a navy blue flag. Quick...what does the Utah flag look like? Those states that have an actual design, you see them often. Seems like most people from AZ have the state flag on their front license plate. You see the Zia Sun Symbol on everything New Mexican (it seems). The Colorado flag shows up quite a bit too, it is part of the CW design.

Yes, Texans are a little too proud of their flag, but I think you just notice it more because you are bothered by it.


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## Rahark1 (Jun 2, 2006)

Being from Arkansas, this thread is rich! Don't let it stop. BTW, you people from Colorado should hear what they say about you when they come to our state. :twisted: :wink:


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## sj (Aug 13, 2004)

Yo Dick head :twisted: Does sewage flow upstream or down 8) . Arkansas got screwed in 69 Texas sucks. sj


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## oopsyhuck (Jun 21, 2006)

Bastard Son of Elvis: just wondering---

What's your take, as an Elvis fan, on Japanese Prime Minister Korizumi's visit to Graceland?

He knows alot more Elvis songs than W Jr.


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## Rahark1 (Jun 2, 2006)

sj said:


> Yo Dick head :twisted: Does sewage flow upstream or down 8) . Arkansas got screwed in 69 Texas sucks. sj


Steve, unfortunately Arkansas is "downriver" in either French or Catalan. So the answer is DOWN! Of course it has to flow through Kansas and Oklahoma to get here!

And why did you have to bring up '69! I had forgotten that, but I've quit the lil piggies a long time ago! More important things in the world than college sports!

Not meaning to hijack the thread.

Lived in Texas for SIX years out in Midland/Odessa/SE Nm area (read that as oil bidness).

Found a lot of nice people there and some wonderful places to visit. Seems like only the DICKHEADS ever leave there to go on vacation as that is who we tend to encounter (or so it seems)!

Anyway, they do talk trash on you guys!

BTW, maybe headed up that way in the next day or two for some Arkansas action!


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## gapers (Feb 14, 2004)

People go to Arkansas? Seriously?


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## psu96 (May 9, 2006)

flush twice texas needs the water...sorry couldn't resist


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## Rahark1 (Jun 2, 2006)

gapers said:


> People go to Arkansas? Seriously?


I meant I'm gong to invade Colorado for some Arkansas action!

And yes there is WW in Arkansas, but it is rain dependent!


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## tomcat (Oct 16, 2003)

hey Roger...Dick....Mr. Head, is that shot from Long Devils Fork Creek. I can't quit tell from that low camera angle. 

t-kitty


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