# To all you Buzz newbies...



## COUNT (Jul 5, 2005)

Leave it to a 303'er to think something needed explaining.

Just remember, the sun may rise in the 303 but it sets in the 970.

Overnout, bitches.


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## crane (Oct 25, 2006)

you live in the 303...what the hell are you talking about?


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## WhiteLightning (Apr 21, 2004)

Correction: There are two distinct regions: Colorado, and a prarie region that we captured from Kansas called the 303. 'Round these parts we call it West Kansass. We captured it because we needed an in-state place to buy furniture from Jake Jabs and build office buildings for Vail Resorts...


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## COUNT (Jul 5, 2005)

crane said:


> you live in the 303...what the hell are you talking about?


That's like saying just because you look like retard means you act like a retard, too.


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## crane (Oct 25, 2006)

since you live just down the road. go run rigor on your head again, maybe it will knock some sense into you.


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## caspermike (Mar 9, 2007)

be friendly people


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## sj (Aug 13, 2004)

AHHHH American Furniture Wharehouse lair of the Front Range Cougar. I explained cougar to 970 freind of mine. He said yeah we have those too. Then he introduced me to a guy named Ralph


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## C_Boater (May 27, 2007)

http://www.theurbanbrain.com/denver/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/cougarclip.jpg

here...kitty...kitty....




sj said:


> AHHHH American Furniture Wharehouse lair of the Front Range Cougar. I explained cougar to 970 freind of mine. He said yeah we have those too. Then he introduced me to a guy named Ralph


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## Force (Apr 27, 2004)

I wouldn't to much about the shit count tries to dish out. I'm pretty sure he's got a small man syndrome.


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## Randaddy (Jun 8, 2007)

caspermike said:


> be friendly people


Notice how the only peaceful, reasonable response to this thread came from the 307? That's right!


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## grandyoso (Aug 20, 2006)

*307*

And it came from caspermike both ironic.


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## durangowingnut (Jul 1, 2008)

*Best of both worlds*

Then there are a few of us that are the exception... I might live in 303 now, but I am still 970 at heart... and on my cel phone8) One thing we all can agree on... colorado rivers kick @ss!!


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## caspermike (Mar 9, 2007)

durangowingnut said:


> Then there are a few of us that are the exception... I might live in 303 now, but I am still 970 at heart... and on my cel phone8) One thing we all can agree on... colorado rivers kick @ss!!


he gots the picture


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## Randaddy (Jun 8, 2007)

Colorado is a dump.


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## COUNT (Jul 5, 2005)

Very true. It's been a damn good year to be from the CO. And Leif, who are you to be talkin smack about not being within the normal height range?


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## sj (Aug 13, 2004)

307 303 there's a diffrence. Yeah I guess no matter how hard you try to get a little fun going some people just won't play. 

Wingnut guy I moved outa the Summit in 88 when the Mrs wanted to go to grad school. We have kept a place up there since. So i get alot of fun outa these threads also. I get to mock all of my boating buddies

Randdaddy boy we have the Nuggets you don't so nanny nanny boo boo


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## COLDFEAR (Apr 20, 2004)

Living in Co and now in Wy I have to say that while parts of Wyoming are not that great...... Cody, Wy is a great place to live as Kayaker.


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## DurangoSteve (Jun 2, 2006)

Wyoming, home of Dick Cheney. The Persecution, er, Prosecution rests its case.



Randaddy said:


> Colorado is a dump.


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## caspermike (Mar 9, 2007)

COUNT said:


> And Leif, who are you to be talkin smack about not being within the normal height range?


ohhh this is getting good now.


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## DurangoSteve (Jun 2, 2006)

*ONLY in Wyoming*

*Q:* _Know why Pronghorns run so damned fast?_

*A:* _They saw what those Wyoming boys did to the sheep._


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## nmalozzi (Jun 19, 2007)

can't we all just get a long and make fun of texas?


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## DurangoSteve (Jun 2, 2006)

That's a _reasonable_ request...




nmalozzi said:


> can't we all just get a long and make fun of texas?


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## Jensjustduckie (Jun 29, 2007)

nmalozzi said:


> can't we all just get a long and make fun of texas?


Yeah! Or Nebraska - they're really fun to make fun of - they take it all so seriously!

Q- How do you get a Huskers Cheerleader into an Elevator?


A- Grease the doors and throw in a Twinkie

or

Q- What's the difference between a Huskers linebacker and a Huskers Cheerleader?

A- About 5lbs.


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## original durangotang (Jul 11, 2008)

Thats funny.

I always thought Colorado consisted of the San Juans.

And then the rest of the state.



WhiteLightning said:


> Correction: There are two distinct regions: Colorado, and a prarie region that we captured from Kansas called the 303. 'Round these parts we call it West Kansass. We captured it because we needed an in-state place to buy furniture from Jake Jabs and build office buildings for Vail Resorts...


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## cma (Dec 19, 2003)

C_Boater said:


> http://www.theurbanbrain.com/denver/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/cougarclip.jpg
> 
> here...kitty...kitty....


Thanks for the link.. full story here:
http://www.glendalecherrycreek.com/Dec. 2007 - 1,5.pdf

Gotta go.. someone's on the prowl at The Cruise Room.


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## hojo (Jun 26, 2008)

Oh SJ, I'm calling you out! You commented that, "...there seem to be new people to the Buzz as well as new people to Colorado on here so here goes."

Then you pointed out how Colorado "use" [sic] to be divided into 303 and 970. Well, either you're to young to remember, or you're new to Colorado (and by new I mean not native)! The West Slope, and indeed everything else that wasn't in that silly 719, didn't get 970 until the middle 1980s. So, in reality, Colorado "use" [sic] to be us (303) and them (719). The "rest" succeeded in seceding from 303 just as Denver was importing mass amounts of foreigners. So, lets hear it... how long have you been here?

And don't get me started on those 720ers... it seems they were actually kicked out of 303. How shameful is that?

I'm sad to say that 10 years ago I migrated from 970 to 303 and now live in 507, but the boating and boaters here are worth their salt (even if I'm not!)

-hoj


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## dograft83 (Jun 16, 2008)

So am i a have bread if i have a 303 and 720?


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## lmyers (Jun 10, 2008)

*719! it may not be where the crowds are, but...*



hojo said:


> Oh SJ, I'm calling you out! You commented that, "...there seem to be new people to the Buzz as well as new people to Colorado on here so here goes."
> 
> The West Slope, and indeed everything else that wasn't in that silly 719, didn't get 970 until the middle 1980s. So, in reality, Colorado "use" [sic] to be us (303) and them (719).


719 is the place to be! That is unless you like crime, pollution, and sitting in traffic. Plus the cost of living in Chaffee county kicks the shit out of the I-70 corridor, not to mention the Ark will probably run into September this year. Nah, I waved goodbye to the front range long ago...


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## randomnature (Jun 10, 2007)

*drinking and...*

I love it when people get liquored and type. Opinions mean so much more when editing goes out the window and its all about the quest to hit RETURN, be herd and laugh at the responses. Would it not it be nice if it rained and fattened up our waters?


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## JHimick (May 12, 2006)

cma said:


> Thanks for the link.. full story here:
> http://www.glendalecherrycreek.com/Dec. 2007 - 1,5.pdf
> 
> Gotta go.. someone's on the prowl at The Cruise Room.


_
"The Wikipedia online encyclopedia defines a “cougar” as “an older woman, usually in her early 30s or 40s who sexually pursues younger men.”_

_"...today the cougar is portrayed in the media as a woman who is a very sophisticated, attractive, and sensually aware and who is very much in control of her life. She’s got a lot of energy, is very fit and healthy and is successful and independent."_

WTF? Laura Lieff needs to talk to some dudes and get her story straight. 30s? Sophisticated, sensually aware, fit, healthy, successful? No. Nope. Wrong. If a 'Cougar' was all of this, she wouldn't be in a bar preying on young men. She'd be my girlfriend... if I could just find her. But I digress. A 'Cougar' is a chick, generally in her 40s. Maybe in shape but could be one of those women who may have been hot at one time but is now holding on the the shreds of her former attractiveness by stuffing her fat ass and other sagging body parts into tight fitting clothing. The key to the 'Cougar' is the habitat and behavior. The only place a woman like this can survive is in bars where she can pounce on unsuspecting (or maybe I should say 'willing') young men heavily under the influence of alcohol. Pussy, meet Dick. Cheers.


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## surgass01 (Jul 11, 2008)

*I'm impressed !!!!!*

Now I know why I was given such a hard time for my thread. The only thing I can read on the Buzz is how to miss spell and "use of slang". What the hell is have bread? Do you mean half breed? 

Hi guys, No you didn't scare me off that easily. Just to comment on area codes, I would rather live in 790, but 303 seems to be more convenient. Plus the air *MUST *be way *too* thin in 790. Just joking I'm just trying to piss people off again. You guys are great. See ya on the river.


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## dvanhouten (Dec 29, 2003)

DurangoSteve said:


> *Q:* _Know why Pronghorns run so damned fast?_
> 
> *A:* _They saw what those Wyoming boys did to the sheep._


I thought the sheep thing was from 'Man'tana

*Q:* Know why it is windy in Southern Wyoming?

*A:* Colorado sucks.


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## tahoetransplant (May 23, 2007)

*yeah, I'm going there...*



surgass01 said:


> Now I know why I was given such a hard time for my thread. The only thing I can read on the Buzz is how to miss spell and "use of slang". What the hell is have bread? Do you mean half breed?
> 
> Hi guys, No you didn't scare me off that easily. Just to comment on area codes, I would rather live in 790, but 303 seems to be more convenient. Plus the air *MUST *be way *too* thin in 790. Just joking I'm just trying to piss people off again. You guys are great. See ya on the river.


 
Hey Sugass... don't knock the buzzards for _misspelling_ when you can't spell either 

Just havin fun on the buzz since I'm stuck at work and can't paddle...
Hope all the drama 'bout the Upper C, has chilled... bummer of an event to be involved in, thanks for doing your part.

Kendra


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## FLOWTORCH (Mar 5, 2004)

tahoetransplant said:


> blahblalbahblahblahbahbah
> Kendra


 
Back to work, Sally.


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## surgass01 (Jul 11, 2008)

*Thanks Kendra*

Touche. 

Everything is better now that I'm back on the Buzz to get a rise out of the "Buzzards".


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## yette (Mar 28, 2007)

*this is pathetic.*

I'm a native Colorodan (that means I was born in and lived in Colorado my entire life). I have spent more time in, and have more respect for, the mountains than 90% of the people in this state. 
I am also a "newbie" to the sport of kayaking who lives in the 303 area code. I started because of the challenge, camraderie, and opportunity to experience the mountains away from the idiots that seem to dominate the world.
If the rival crybaby B.S. mentality portrayed in this thread is really what this sport is about, then give it up, go earn millions of dollars playing Football, Basketball, Baseball, etc., and find some other way to feed your pathetic egos.
Until you can learn to respect the rivers and mountains, as well as each other, then you have no business being there. You sure as hell have no business claiming right or ownership regardless of your ability or residence.


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## nmalozzi (Jun 19, 2007)

yette said:


> I'm a native Colorodan (that means I was born in and lived in Colorado my entire life). I have spent more time in, and have more respect for, the mountains than 90% of the people in this state.
> I am also a "newbie" to the sport of kayaking who lives in the 303 area code. I started because of the challenge, camraderie, and opportunity to experience the mountains away from the idiots that seem to dominate the world.
> If the rival crybaby B.S. mentality portrayed in this thread is really what this sport is about, then give it up, go earn millions of dollars playing Football, Basketball, Baseball, etc., and find some other way to feed your pathetic egos.
> Until you can learn to respect the rivers and mountains, as well as each other, then you have no business being there. You sure as hell have no business claiming right or ownership regardless of your ability or residence.


by george, i think you missed the entire point of this thread.











nah j/k i'm sure everyone that has contributed so far was 100% genuine, and truly serious. that certainly makes more sense.


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## riverrat (Jan 20, 2007)

*Wow*

yette, I think you kinda killed the vibe of this thread, but hey, since you made it all serious....I'm a native too and love kayaking and the other people who do it. Part of it is messing around and giving each other crap. As you get into the sport, you'll realize that everyone (typically) looks out for each other on the river. Like if you have sketchy swim, it doesn't matter if you're 303 or 970 or wherever, other boaters will help you out because they truly care about you. However, after making sure you're okay, you can bet they'll probably give you crap about it the next day, week, year..however long. I really haven't met any boaters who take their ego onto the river with them, and if they do, nobody wants to paddle with them anyway.


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## yette (Mar 28, 2007)

*Man enough to admit it*



riverrat said:


> yette, I think you kinda killed the vibe of this thread, but hey, since you made it all serious....I'm a native too and love kayaking and the other people who do it. Part of it is messing around and giving each other crap. As you get into the sport, you'll realize that everyone (typically) looks out for each other on the river. Like if you have sketchy swim, it doesn't matter if you're 303 or 970 or wherever, other boaters will help you out because they truly care about you. However, after making sure you're okay, you can bet they'll probably give you crap about it the next day, week, year..however long. I really haven't met any boaters who take their ego onto the river with them, and if they do, nobody wants to paddle with them anyway.


K', I feel like a total idjit now .....:mrgreen: aparently I was in the wrong frame of mind. My apologies if I killed the vibe, and please, feel free to throw me under the bus to revive it. Carry on! Gonna go lighten up now...... riverrat, thx for setting me straight!


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## yette (Mar 28, 2007)

yette said:


> K', I feel like a total idjit now .....:mrgreen: aparently I was in the wrong frame of mind. My apologies if I killed the vibe, and please, feel free to throw me under the bus to revive it. Carry on! Gonna go lighten up now...... riverrat, thx for setting me straight!


Bacon is meat candy


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## carvedog (May 11, 2005)

yette said:


> I'm a native Colorodan (that means I was born in and lived in Colorado my entire life). I have spent more time in, and have more respect for, the mountains than 90% of the people in this state.
> I am also a "newbie" ......


In so many ways.


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## yette (Mar 28, 2007)

carvedog said:


> In so many ways.


 _

siighh ....... _YYup!!;-)


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## mvhyde (Feb 3, 2004)

*I think picking on Texans is much more fun*

Picking on Texans is fun and easy. Easy because you don't really have to do anything, just sit back and watch and listen. They're always going to do something entertaining and probably within the realm of achieving that ultimate goal of getting their very own Darwin Award.

Now, that being said. 303, 720, 970, 719, (how the Hell did 307 get into Colorado? Did anyone check them for illegal fireworks or sheep? In any case, they need a visa and a passport.) we all live here, whether we're transplants, vagrants, miscreants, deviants, or simply eco-friendly-tree-shagging f-tards.



The only bone I have is manners. Manners you ask, what manners? Exactly. Okay, for the dipshits in the hole, please follow these rules (and this does not apply to boaters who know wtf they're doing, just the idiots): 

*LOOK UPSTREAM ONCE IN AWHILE!*
*DOWNSTREAM TRAFFIC HAS THE RIGHT-OF-WAY!* Check the laws of navigation should you doubt me. (this even include tubers)
*BE COURTEOUS*
*SMILE WHILE YOUR SURF* (if you're not having fun, why the f**k are you there in the first place. The serious look on your face doesn't make you an awesome boater, it just makes you look like someone with a bad case of the runs or someone who's gf just dumped them for a woman)
*LANGUAGE* (because you can say the word F**K, and maybe even spell it doesn't mean you should flail it about. There are a lot more kids on the river these days)
*ASSIST OTHER BOATERS IN NEED* (this one burns my butt when I see someone swim and the people closest to the swimmer do absolutely nothing, that is not very classy or smart).
Okay, I'm done...... flame me


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## COUNT (Jul 5, 2005)

mvhyde said:


> The only bone I have is manners. Manners you ask, what manners? Exactly. Okay, for the dipshits in the hole, please follow these rules (and this does not apply to boaters who know wtf they're doing, just the idiots):
> 
> *LOOK UPSTREAM ONCE IN AWHILE!*
> *DOWNSTREAM TRAFFIC HAS THE RIGHT-OF-WAY!* Check the laws of navigation should you doubt me. (this even include tubers)
> ...


Mike, you've been paddling those playparks in the 303, haven't you?

Sorry, I just felt that this thread had strayed off topic and figured I would do what I could to redirect it. 

COUNT


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## fred norquist (Apr 4, 2007)

oh man this is quality, im surprised I didnt see this before haha


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## yourrealdad (May 25, 2004)

See to me this whole area code thing doesn't matter. Know why?

Cause I've got hoes (I've got hoes)
In different area codes (area) area codes (codes)
Hoes (hoes...hoes) in different area codes (area) area 
codes (codes)


Now you thought I was just 7-7-0, and 4-0-4?
I'm worldwide,GET act like ya'll know
It's the abominable-hoe man 
Glob-trot international postman
Neighbor-dick dope man
7-1-8's, 2-0-2's I send small cities and states
IOU's, 9-0-1, matter fact 3-0-5, I'll jump off
the G4, we can meet outside
So control your hormones and keep your drawers on
'Till I close the door and I'm jumpin your bones,
3-1-2's, 3-1-3's (oh), 2-1-5's, 8-0 tree's (oh)
Read your horoscope and eat some horderves 
Ten on pump one, these hoes is self serve, 7-5-7,
4-1-0's, my cell phone just overloads


Now everyday is a hoe-ly day, so stop the violence
and put the 4-4 away, skeet shoot a hoe today, 5-0-4,
9-7-2's 7-1 tree, watcha gunna do? You checkin' out the 
scene, I'm checkin' a hot tonite with perpendicular,
vehicular homicide 3-1-4, 2-0-1 (hey)
Too much green, too much fun
I bang cock in Bangkok, can't stop, I turn and hit
the same spot, think not, I'm the thriller in Manilla
in Hong Kong, Pimp 'em like Boshop, Magic, Don Juan
Man after a Henny and a coke and a smile, I just pick
up the muthafuckin phone and dial, I got my condums 
in a big ass sack, I'm slangin this dick like a New Jack 
(biatch)

[Nate Dogg]
Is it cuz they like my gangsta walk? (gangsta walk)
Is it cuz they like my gangsta talk? (gangsta talk...ohh)
Is it cuz they like my handsome face? (handsome face)
Is it cuz they like my gangsta ways? (gangsta ways...ohh)
Whatever it is, they love it, and they just won't let me be
I handles my biz, don't rush me (area) just relax and let 
me be
free (codes)
Whenever I call (I call), come runnin' 2-1-2 or 2-1-3, you 
know
that I ball (I ball), stop frontin' ot I'll call my 
substitute freak (hoes)


Uh, 9-1-6, 4-1-5, 7-0-4, Shout out to the 2-0-6, Everbody 
in the 8-0-8
Ha-ah, 2-1-6, 7-0-2, 4-1-4, 3-1-7, 2-1-4's and the 2-8-1's, 
3-3-4, 2-0-5, I
see ya, Uh-uh, 3-1-8, 6-0-1's, 2-0 tree, 8-0-4, 4-0-2, 
3-0-1, 9-0-4, 4-0-7,
8-5-0, 7-0-8, 5-0-2, Hoes in different area codes, know 
that Southern 
Hoes-pitality, Northern Exhoes-ure, Ha-ha, hoe ridin' on 
the West Coast
Ya understand what I'm sayin? Uh-uh, hoe-cus pocus, you the 
dopest
Uh, hoes to the right, hoes to the left, five hoes this time
WHOO!!!! HOE-NO!!! (**laughin**)
The hip-hop hoeoller-coaster, that's what we on right now
Ha-ha, no need to get all hoes-tile
YEEEEAAAAHHHH!!!!!
WHOO!!!! Def Jam Southern Baby, Distubing the peace
Dazaphy-zy, Uncle face, Ludacris, uh, hoes....(**whistlin**)
I'm sweatin like a muthaf.....


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## surgass01 (Jul 11, 2008)

*What does hoes have to do with area codes?*

Huh? Now you have me really confused!!!!:shock:


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## paulie (Mar 18, 2007)

sorry mvhyde, but it is upstream boaters who have the right of way. If you have ever gotten run over by a raft while surfing now you know why


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## kayakfreakus (Mar 3, 2006)

Gotta luv Ludacris, nicely done Dad


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