# Rafting Commandments



## caverdan

1 Spin to win.
2 Watch out for speed bumps.....they are your friends.


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## rivh2o

1st. Thou shout neal down before and thee and give unto me all thy worldly possessions, all your money your beer your liquor everything you have, your wife, your brothers wife, your friends wife your girlfriend and drive the shuttle
2nd Thou shout not argue thy first commandant. 
........ I,m going to now pray for more guidance and when I shall awaken I will give unto thee more commandants. Now go and bring me the beer.


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## GratefulOne

1) Rig to flip, Dress to Swim. 
2) All about angles and momentum, just like sex
3) Stay With the Boat - Self Rescue
4) T Up everything
5) Follow down stream V's
6) Go with the Flow
7) Be either faster or slower than the current
8) Don't Stand Up in Moving water
9) Practice ferries ( forward and backward) 
10) when in doubt, back it up....


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## treemanji

Set up for where you need to be and do it early. I was used to a kayak where I could get about wherever I wanted fast. 
Focus on where you want to go and go there, do not focus on what you wish to avoid because you'll end up there. This helped on westwaster at 8k the first time I rowed a raft lol.
In camp do stuff before you have to ask if it needs done. Help out, be patient, and, don't be an arrogant know it all.


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## tripple

Thou shall always scout with a throw bag. You never know who will be floating by to show you the wrong line.


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## kengore

Thou shalt not drop the down stream oar.


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## snakester

I like rivh2o 's the best.


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## upshitscreek

- If in doubt,scout.

- Rivers don't have an "off" switch. Respect their power.

- Always wear your PFD. Always.

- Always have a pin kit and the knowledge how to use it, no matter how easy the river. 

- Always have a throw bag, two is better.


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## duct tape

Do your share and a little more, with a smile, every day. 
Laugh a lot and enjoy the river.


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## soggy_tortillas

rivh2o said:


> 1st. Thou shout neal down before and thee and give unto me all thy worldly possessions, all your money your beer your liquor everything you have, your wife, your brothers wife, your friends wife your girlfriend and drive the shuttle
> 2nd Thou shout not argue thy first commandant.
> ........ I,m going to now pray for more guidance and when I shall awaken I will give unto thee more commandants. Now go and bring me the beer.


Mo' wives, mo' problems.


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## Andy H.

Lots of good stuff above. I always like to remind folks of the three rules of Rafting: 

1) Stay in the boat,
2) Stay in the boat, and
3) Don't get out of the boat

Other good things:


Remember to be careful on shore whether in camp or scouting - that's where most rafting injuries happen,
Wear shoes on the river that'll stay with you in a swim,
Ask permission before you hop onto someone's boat they're on,
Always buckle straps back after you take something off,
Set up a pee bucket at camp so no one's going down to the river in the night.


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## restrac2000

Scout and row your own line
Don't give up on your line (you can often make it work with plans B & C)


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## chiapet74

Have fun


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## melted_ice

Thou must inviteth me on all successful river lotteries


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## teletoes

Flatwater Commandment: Be behind the boat in front of you, not in front of the boat behind you.


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## cataraftgirl

A lot of my favs have been covered, but here's a few more
1. Carry First Aid, rescue, and repair stuff and know how to use it.
2. Always carry a few extra carabiners & cam straps
3. Always do a safety talk before you launch, even seasoned rafters need reminders
4. Never, Ever "help" someone with their boat at the put-in or take-out unless they ask you to. If you start "helping" them rig or de-rig their boat without permission you may find yourself cam strapped to a tree.
5. Always be prepared for bad weather. It can change in river canyons in a heartbeat
6. Be helpful and have a good attitude.


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## oarframe

Run the v
Cut the c
Always watch your downstream oar


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## brendodendo

If though has to throw a throw bag, make sure that though has a firm grip on thyne rope and a solid place to anchor thyself and does not let go. If though does let go of a throwbag, thouest must retrieve the bag from the river in entirety.

Know thy own limits. Scouting and walking are not shame if it means you get to boat another day.


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## rivh2o

....and I did awaken from my sleep and I was broke I had no more money. So I gave back my brothers wife and my friends wife and all the extra women to those without, and much rejoicing did take place and I call this day "Layover Day" I also began to share my love for the riv with all that came into contact with me and I was exceeding happy. And so I did declare it a commandment.
Yea unto those who do not slow down for who so ever goes faster then the water he shall be overcome with it.
Yea also he that leaves his downstream oar in the water shallows shall be awaken mightily and with a jolt.
Honor thy fellow boaters with respect and lo it will return tenfold.
Always follow the "P" rule. Proper Planing Prevents Piss Poor Performance!
and also the "S" rule Safety Safety Safety.


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## cataraftgirl

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's Yeti cooler.
Thou shalt carry the groover on thy boat with a joyous spirit.


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## swiftwater15

Thou shall not commit a dull knife.
Thou shall never give a dude an option.


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## gobigohome

GratefulOne said:


> 1) Rig to flip, Dress to Swim.
> 2) All about angles and momentum, just like sex
> 3) Stay With the Boat - Self Rescue
> 4) T Up everything
> 5) Follow down stream V's
> 6) Go with the Flow
> 7) Be either faster or slower than the current
> 8) Don't Stand Up in Moving water
> 9) Practice ferries ( forward and backward)
> 10) when in doubt, back it up....


Could not agree more...and I like the truthful, helpful and thought out response.


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## oarboatman

Prior planning prevents poor performance. 

Commit or Quit. 

Heat dish water before the meal is done. 

It's only money, you can always make more. 

You learn very little when Plan A works out.


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## mania

Hey diddle diddle, right down the middle.


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## treemanji

cataraftgirl said:


> 4. Never, Ever "help" someone with their boat at the put-in or take-out unless they ask you to. If you start "helping" them rig or de-rig their boat without permission you may find yourself cam strapped to a tree.


This is great advice. On a longer trip we were rigging and a lady who is a baoter with good intentions gets on our boat and says "I'll help... where do want this? do you strap this here? how do you normally do this? hows this go??....? My wife says no offense but we don't really need any help the two of us got it but thanks. Lady storms off all mad and I'm thinking WTF. She seemed butt hurt for a couple days, I acually had to tell her a couple days later its just easier without her and we have a method.


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## mikesee

Thou shalt fill every eddy with second-hand smoke.

_-as observed last weekend at Gauley Fest._


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## GratefulOne

^^ weed smoke or cigarette smoke??, cuz theres a difference!! lol


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## yesimapirate

Never EVER have a shortage of beer.

Bring a spare everything.

Don't hog the put in.
Don't hog the take out.


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## swiftwater15

bring your own damn chair.


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## elkhaven

soggy_tortillas said:


> Mo' wives, mo' problems.


Only bring women on the trip that already realize they're the root of all evil


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## raymo

If it's not broke do not mess with it. If you say ho fuck to yourself twice in a row, you are going to have a very exciting time or a screwed up time. Enough JD makes ugly look very nice.


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## cataraftgirl

swiftwater15 said:


> bring your own damn chair.


Amen brother!


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## cmharris

Maybe this should be in the Prologue, but something should be said in support of clean, free-flowing rivers and plentiful snowpack. Without good water all the other things don't matter.


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## GoodTimes

Don't be a sissy or a know-it-all.....two most annoying things in just about anything...especially whitewater. Sack up and admit when you sucked.


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## dafewillis

^^^^^^
This!! As an utterly addicted and passionate fly fisherman with a raft, I couldn't agree more, cmharris. American Rivers and Trout Unlimited, they're both fighting for the right thing. 

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## ob1coby

be considerate on the ramp.


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## MBroch

What goes on the river, stays on the river.


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## taners

In the butt no babies


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## oarboatman

MBroch said:


> What goes on the river, stays on the river.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPad using Mountain Buzz



... Until the next time around the fire with the people that were witness to...


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## joelduder

There is no such thing as to many cam straps.
Clean up after yourself.
Always anticipate what needs done next and help out.
Be respectful of others on the river and don't be a knob. We're all friends out here.
Beer is best when cold.
Have fun!


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## malloypc

MBroch said:


> What goes on the river, stays on the river.


Ha!


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## jge1

oarboatman said:


> ... Until the next time around the fire with the people that were witness to...


No kidding ! I decided a long time ago that the favorite topic of conversations and stories on river trips is previous river trips. "Hey, remember that Grand trip in 2006 and the wacked permit holder ..."


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## jge1

joelduder said:


> Always anticipate what needs done next and help out.


And a corollary is, don't spontaneously start helping someone with a task unless you're pretty sure they need help or they ask you. With people new to river trips, you'll frequently see them jump in to help with something like assembling a roll-top table. No way a task like that is going to go twice as fast with two people, so it's much more efficient to go find something else to do.


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## B4otter

Perspective from 40 years of river trips with 100's maybe thousands of folks just trying to pitch in, how many times have we/I resisted the temptation to yell "STOP HELPING!" - kitchen not packed back the way it should be, rigging every morning with helpful suggestions, lots of times folks who just don't know what they're doing... didn't we all once?
Resist any short-tempered response. If you care about rivers, or people, the idea is to bring them together.
Take care of each other - it's worth the effort.


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## calirado

Run the IIIs like they're Vs and the Vs like they're IIIs


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## GratefulOne

never heard that, and I dig it Cali!


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## tteton

*what he said....*



swiftwater15 said:


> bring your own damn chair.


So fucking tired of people looking at me like I'M the dick cause I want to sit in my dry, awesome, comfortable chair. No I don't want to sit in your wet, crappy, uncomfortable chair! I have an REI camp x low. Love it!

My commandment to myself
Never give up! Never surrender!


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## Plecoptera

Not commandments, just some worldly observations:

Your children (and/or wife) do not recognize your exclusive ownership of anything, nor a need to provide notification before using anything.

Put your name and phone number on everything you own.

PBR is why boomers created microbrews.

NRS gear is not the best, but it is usually good enough.

Checklists are better than anyone's memory.

Actually, you can eventually own enough straps.

You can read and run Joe Hutch at low water; no the landing site on RR for scouting is not obvious.

The BLM will never understand how to build a boat ramp.

Trip opportunities are most likely to come when you have a trip already planned.

Never boat Pumphouse on a Saturday in July.
Or August.

Judy (at AAA) does actually know everything, but Mark explains it better.


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## [email protected]

*10 commandments / pet peeves*

1. Never carry your personal gear to the camp and pick your tent site until all group gear is unloaded and carried to the camp. 
2. Never set up your tent until the groover, hand wash station(s)and kitchen is set up.
3. Always ask "what can I do to help" if you are a newbie.
4. He/she that cooks does not wash dishes.
5. Never help cook someone else's meal unless asked.
6. Never pick up and shake a spice container over anything except your plate of food (unless you are the cook).
7. Never ask the boatman carrying the groover and hand wash station why he is always the last boat ready to launch is the morning, he is sure to let you find out the hard way.
8. If you snore set up as far as possible from others.
9. Wash your hands, wash your hands, wash your hands.
10. Spit your tooth paste in the river.


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## GratefulOne

great expedition/group dynamics reminders Big Horn!!! very thoughtful! id love to expedition with you any day!


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## Don

*Rules*

Don't pee in the grover.

Always pee down stream.


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## [email protected]

GratefulOne said:


> great expedition/group dynamics reminders Big Horn!!! very thoughtful! id love to expedition with you any day!


E-mail me so I have your address I'll let you know after next years drawings what I win (thinking positively)

I have attached a photo of one of our rafting partners on the Snake this year


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## ehickerson

Dress to swim
Rig to flip
Drink to puke


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## captishmael

*The Inland Marine Navigation Act*

In Regard to: 
THE INLAND MARINE NAVIGATION ACT OF 1868
 (As Amended)

"Any and All Able Bodied Persons, within striking distance of the Master of the Vessel, shall immediately render Aid and Succor to the Master upon his demand"

The courts have repeatedly held that "Aid and Succor" will include but not be limited to-


-Scurrying from one end of the vessel to the other (Stem to Stern) in search of cold beverage for the Master
-Upon Discovery that only one cold, unopened beverage remains on the Vessel, that beverage shall immediately be proffered to the Master
-The Able Bodied crew shall Pop the Top for the Master
-In the event of Incapacitation of the Master, the crew shall hold cold beverage to the Master's lips
-Should the Master remain in the state of Incapacitation, the crew Shall Not hold anything Rude or Offensive to the Master's lips
-If in a state of incapacitation, the Master should "Soil His Sheets", the crew will act as if nothing is amiss
-The term "Drunkenness" shall apply only to the crew, never to the Master, as the crew be mostly Scurvy Dogs
-Master is whomever is at the oars at the time
-The Master may be She
-"Striking Distance" shall only be determined when the crew is Mutinous, or at least Mouths Off to the Master
-In the unhappy event that the Vessel's Beverage Stores be warmed, the crew will raid neighboring vessels in the quest for ice

OK, that's all I know regarding the Act.

Peace,
The Capt
R/V Rosie


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## 39571

Team comes first. You come second.

Pick up more than you leave.

Be here now, get there later.


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## gnashingteeth

Don't bring fish on a hot multi-day, but if you do, eat it last, or else you are going to carry the waste and boat downwind of everyone else.


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## John_in_Loveland

The more you volunteer to help or take on a chore, the better your odds of being invited again


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## lhowemt

Always do a thorough camp walk-around in the morning when you have dogs, to look for any surprises they left behind. If you find some poo from another trip, do the happy river karma dance.


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## Andy H.

^^^^^ Yeah, She says that, but this is who you'll REALLY have to deal with if she finds you've left poop at your campsite!


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## NorthernAZ

Thou shall not request only the beer from the bottom of the drag bag.

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## Schutzie

I posted this when I first found the buzz.More than 10 commandments, but as regulars know, I'm always saying more than needs to be said........*

50 Rules I learned on the river* 
With apologies to anyone I offend here............*smiles*

1) To be a successful guide requires a sense of humor.
2) People who don't run river do not understand a guides sense of humor.
3) The more critical a thing is on a trip, the more likely it is that it will be forgotten, lost, broken, or stolen.
4) Things that absolutely, positively must stay dry and clean attract moisture and dirt.
5) Feces excreted on the river will always find a way to escape whatever container(s) it is put in.
6) Eating Ice Cream for breakfast all but guarantees a good river day.
7) Kayakers have a sense of humor.
 Bouncy boaters do not understand kayaker humor.
9) Never ever respond to an ad for a support boat for 15 kayakers that states "work will be shared equally".
10) The temperature and moisture content of tennis shoes worn in the morning is inversely proportional to the temperature and moisture content of your sleeping bag.
11) If you pack a tent it will generally guarantee good weather.
12) Failing to pack a tent will generally guarantee rain and/or snow.
13) A thing placed near a camp fire to dry will never function as well afterwards.
14) You cannot pack too much beer for a trip.
15) Ethical guides will never take the last beer.
16) Kayakers will always take the last beer.
17) God created Kayakers to test the humor of bouncy boaters.
1 Kayakers created rule 17
19) If you reveal that what you want to buy is to be used as river gear, the price triples and the availability drops to zero.
20) Water always obeys the rule of gravity.
21) Rule 20 does not apply when rule 4 is in effect.
22) One person will always leave their ID at home when checking in for a Grand Canyon trip. Usually it will be the permit holder. See rule 3.
23) Rangers do not have a sense of humor.
24) There is a river God.
25) The river God has a sense of humor.
26) Neither Kayakers or bouncy boaters understand the river God's sense of humor.
27) Non boaters get the river God's sense of humor.
2 The bigger a rapid is, the more likely rule 5 will be in imposed.
29) Musical instruments on a river trip enhance the trip.
30) Rule 4 was created because of rule 29.
31) Toilet paper is useless if it gets wet and irritating if it gets dirty. See rule 4.
32) As soon as the groover is packed away, someone will need it.
33) The average air temperature on a river is inversely proportional to the weight of clothing packed.
34) Anything designed to get wet will.
35) Anything designed to keep water out won't.
36) The likelihood of snow increases as river flow increases.
37) Bragging about one's chef abilities automatically activates rules 3, 4 and 5.
3 Shaving or cutting any body hair on a river trip is bad luck.
39) Women on a river trip enhance the trip.
40) Women on a river trip complicate the logistics of a river trip. See rule 25.
41) Providing a hot beverage to the women on a trip before they get out of their sleeping bags is a good substitute for rule 6.
42) The bigger and heavier a boat is, the more likely it is to become stuck.
43) Clothes worn on a river trip should never be worn for any other purpose.
44) Whenever possible get naked on the river.
45) A gallon of water weights 8.34 pounds.
46) A cubic foot of Grand Canyon silt weighs 6.24 pounds. 
47) A gallon of Colorado River water in the Grand Canyon weighs 14.58 pounds.
4 A whopper or Big Mac tastes better at Pierce Ferry than at Lees ferry.
49) Anything can be converted to use as river gear with enough money, time, and beer.
50) Kayakers are the only people who are allowed to wear a skirt on the river.


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## DoStep

Nice job of ending the thread there Schutzie. The replies weren't getting any better anyway.

Quick question on #'s 45 and 46-- you used two different volumes but added them as they were the same, as one cubic foot contains about 7.5 gallons. 

And if silt weighs less than water, wouldn't silty water weigh less than clear water? I know silt is small, but doesn't it still displace water?

Holy crap, is it 11:00 already?! Sorry man, it's past my bedtime...


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## Schutzie

DoStep said:


> Nice job of ending the thread there Schutzie. The replies weren't getting any better anyway.
> 
> Quick question on #'s 45 and 46-- you used two different volumes but added them as they were the same, as one cubic foot contains about 7.5 gallons.
> 
> And if silt weighs less than water, wouldn't silty water weigh less than clear water? I know silt is small, but doesn't it still displace water?
> 
> Holy crap, is it 11:00 already?! Sorry man, it's past my bedtime...


Now see, there you go getting all technical. The hell are you, the perfessor of the river??:grin:

Next thing you know, you're gonna be challenging the river God parts and demanding equal time for evolution or sumpin.

Geez!


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## yesimapirate

Schutzie said:


> I posted this when I first found the buzz.More than 10 commandments, but as regulars know, I'm always saying more than needs to be said........*
> 
> 50 Rules I learned on the river*
> 
> 
> 50) Kayakers are the only people who are allowed to wear a skirt on the river.


All look accurate to me with one exception. #50. The river God(s) very much enjoy that if woman must wear clothes, they wear skirts. ...or maybe it's just me.


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## elkhaven

yesimapirate said:


> All look accurate to me with one exception. #50. The river God(s) very much enjoy that if woman must wear clothes, they wear skirts. ...or maybe it's just me.


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## treemanji

Nice list Schutzie I guess skirts are okay as long they could be classified as a little dress? And black?


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## Schutzie

Well, in my day women were expected to be naked, or nearly so, on the river. Just the way it was.

We only made the exception about skirts for Kayakers cause, well, you know, they just demanded the exception, and it was easier to accommodate them rather than give them yet another reason to bitch. And sometimes they were so busy admiring themselves in their skirts that they would forget to sneak off with the beer.:roll:


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## treemanji

Sums that up...lol


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## OldandBitter

Be nice. You never know who's help you might need, or who will be handing out ice cold beers at the take out as rewards for random acts of niceness. 


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## Schutzie

Well, if a bouncy boater can't take random jabs at Yakkers ever so often, what's the point of it all?


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## Bobby Ladd

Everything the others have said, plus try to catch hard eddies when you don't need to, so you can when you need to. And please remember Murphy's law version of the river, "when you don't think IT will happen, it will... no need to tempt fate on the water... nature will provide all the thrills out there you'll need, and the your river buds are there to help when things get dicey".


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## Bobby Ladd

Once you are a rafter with a rig, make sure you apply for permits -- thou cannot run many longer trips, w/o thoust permit -- the season of permit parties approaches us...


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## Daryl

Trying to resurrect this stalled stream because it was fun and informative.

-Though shall not be the knob that dictates rule or code to a group that is applying common sense and having fun.


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## yesimapirate

Never ever assume that your goods will stay in place while in transit to the river.


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## tteton

Thou shall not apply for lottery river permits on the middle fork knowing damn well you can't go.


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## JustinJam

tteton said:


> Thou shall not apply for lottery river permits on the middle fork knowing damn well you can't go.


Here here!!


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## BigSky

Try (at least a little) to not be drunk before noon on layover day.


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## sammyphsyco

BigSky said:


> Try (at least a little) to not be drunk before noon on layover day.


That won't fly if I'm still drunk when I wake up, as it should be.


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## melted_ice

BigSky said:


> Try (at least a little) to not be drunk before noon on layover day.[/QUOTE
> 
> Waste of a layover


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## dafewillis

Thou shalt be kind to the clueless tubers when asking them to move off the put-in ramp. Because karma's a bitch. 

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## DanCan

All of these are great and cover pretty much everything. The one I see missing is:
Keep your boatman in the boat.


DanCan


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## sofia

Don't become part of the problem!


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## kingfisher

stick it in. pull it out. just get your shit off the ramp!


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## bloodhound

If the owner of the boat does not smoke then passengers of said boat should not smoke either. If smokers continue to smoke after being asked to refrain then they can expect to swim their ass to the take out. Cigarettes. I'm talking about cigarettes. I hate nothing more than waking up after having a little too much fun the night before and having to smell that shit being blown in my face.


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## jge1

And anyone who smokes should be aware that it's not ok to throw cigarette butts on the ground. Amazing how many people think that's ok. There's a big pile of 'em (from mule riders, I think) at the end of the trail to Plateau Point in Grand Canyon.


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## mervo

Good Lord I have a lot to learn. 

I'm thinking this rafting thing may not be such a good idea. 

(Thanks to everyone that's contributed, I will henceforth begin to tape laminated sheets of all rules to the outside of my coolers and consult them before all launches)


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## 90Duck

mervo said:


> Good Lord I have a lot to learn.
> 
> I'm thinking this rafting thing may not be such a good idea.
> 
> (Thanks to everyone that's contributed, I will henceforth begin to tape laminated sheets of all rules to the outside of my coolers and consult them before all launches)


I think all of the above "commandments" can generally be categorized as "don't be a dick". 

Except for "bring your own damn chair". That one is worthy of it's own thread.


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## fuzzysideup

Thou may get fucked up, but don't fuck up.


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## BigSky

The trip isn't officially over until the river beard comes off.


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## captishmael

BigSky said:


> The trip isn't officially over until the river beard comes off.


Cool. 
That means I've been on the same trip for 37 years and counting.
What A Long Strange Trip It's Been!


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## BigSky

captishmael said:


> Cool.
> That means I've been on the same trip for 37 years and counting.
> What A Long Strange Trip It's Been!


Endless summer!


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## See had

Sometimes you watch the show and sometimes you are the show

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## restrac2000

Thou shall not arrive at reserved campsite at 9 am


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