# Kayaking lingo?



## Phil U. (Feb 7, 2009)

Buy the book "Kayak" by William Nealy.


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## Nessy (May 25, 2009)

The river is your link.


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## Bonker (Aug 12, 2013)

The main reason I posted this thread is because I don't fully understand many of the posts I'm reading here regarding river management and kayaking technique. I don't like to derail threads so I'm looking for some info so I can do some knowledge woodshedding.


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## nemi west (Jun 22, 2006)

This. ...... will be a good thread


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## ednaout (Jun 3, 2005)

"Knowledge woodshedding..."
Your vernacular is booftastic.

Lingo lesson #1
Booftastic: büf / tastik; adj
of or pertaining to boof.

Oh, you don't have to worry about derailing threads...it's just kind of the way of the buzz...welcome ;-)


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## falconsusi (Aug 26, 2011)

Here's a good website for lingo. Glossary of Basic White Water Kayaking Terms - Girls At Play, LLC - WaterGirlsAtPlay.com

NOC has a good one, too NOC Paddling School Blog: A Glossary of Whitewater Terminology

And another by keelhauler A Dictionary of Paddling Terms

Have fun learning


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## lmyers (Jun 10, 2008)

All you have to do to fit in on the Buzz is talk shit about everyone who uses a different watercraft than you, and then ramble on about turkey legs, schlitz and sheep..... you'll have 1000 posts before you know it!


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## adgeiser (May 26, 2009)

Imeyers, you forgot about bitching about front rangers. 

But seriously Beth said it best.... 
All you need to know is 
BOOF!!!
Learn it, do it.


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## hojo (Jun 26, 2008)

*You're doing it wrong!!!*

Bonker, you're doing it all wrong. Your first few posts need to be on threads of which you have no clue what's going on, then post some ridiculous, preferably angry, opinion based entirely on your perception of kayaking taken from the Amex commercial:
American Express Commercial Kayaking - YouTube

Then we call you names, make it appear that we're all a total bunch of protectionist assholes (we are, of course, but once you become one then it's cool), and try our best to represent ourselves as complete douchenozzles. Throughout all of this, you'll be able to pickup a great many terms by context. Before you know it, you're slamming some n00b (or, you think he's a n00b when he's really the VP of sales for a kayak company) over an illformed opinion on a kayaking video or a product review. In reality, those n00bs are necessary because, while most of us likely share the opinion that the idiot in the video should be doing a sport with a silent k, like knitting, we can't because then we'd have to question our own stupid antics, and that's just not cool man.

WTF is wrong with you? n00b.


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## Kendrick (Jul 8, 2010)

Shit Kayakers Say - YouTube


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## colorado_steve (May 1, 2011)

my favorite term: chundered

In kayaking, rafting, canoeing, and catarafting when a person and/or their craft is thrown about violently in a hydraulic feature of a river for a long time. Long time, being a relative term referring to longer than you can handle, which can be less than 15 seconds. Usually the craft is recirculated back into the hole several times, leading to a feeling that escape is impossible. Characterised by a complete loss of perspective with respect to the world and commonly followed by a swim (taken from urban dictionary)


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## Phil U. (Feb 7, 2009)

Buy the Nealy book!


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## TArse (Jul 15, 2013)

Nessy said:


> The river is your link.


This. And bring a 12pack of schlitz to let the lingo flow.


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## KSC (Oct 22, 2003)

I second Phil - get the Nealy book. Not only will you learn all the lingo, but you can glean useful techniques like how to switch the lead when you come up to a scary rapid. I prefer the second law: "sponge-bailing a decked boat in a class IV rapid is a necessary, but time-consuming process."

This thread is funny because I remember the first time I discovered mountainbuzz, read a handful of posts and couldn't figure out what the hell anyone was talking about it. I used it for the classifieds for a couple of years, and then slowly but surely the posts started making sense. Now I pretty much understand every post on here, which probably indicates a mental pathology.


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## H2Obug (Oct 20, 2006)

Not only do you need to know the kayaking lingo, but the most well-known and well-deserved names of river features, such as Cripps' Hole.


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## whip (Oct 23, 2003)

Plastic maggot:

Paddle up to any raft in your party and proclaim:"Dude got an extra beer?"
The meaning shall become apparent.


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## Bonker (Aug 12, 2013)

I like the way this thread is developing!

River features a la "four falls(Foley Falls?)" and "Cripps' hole" please...

Abbreviations please...


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## gannon_w (Jun 27, 2006)

Ever watch the Smurfs? Think of "boof" as they use smurf and you'll be fine.

Example:

Your mom has a nice boof.
I boofed your mom.
Your mom and I boofed last night.

etc...


Also the best way to get better at boating is to spend more time on here talking about your boof than out paddling!

Have a nice boof!


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## Preston H. (Jun 25, 2008)

colorado_steve said:


> my favorite term: chundered
> 
> 
> > I had the pleasure of explaining this term to friends and family while visiting the NC coast recently. I stressed the entertainment aspect - can one be chundered if no one else witnesses the chundering?
> ...


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## Ka-Pow (Jul 14, 2013)

When scouting a line confidently proclaim: "It goes" but don't actually have the faintest idea.


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## Preston H. (Jun 25, 2008)

Ka-Pow said:


> When scouting a line confidently proclaim: "It goes" but don't actually have the faintest idea.


"It boats easier than it looks."


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## DoStep (Jun 26, 2012)

whip said:


> Plastic maggot:
> 
> Paddle up to any raft in your party and proclaim:"Dude got an extra beer?"
> The meaning shall become apparent.


Synonym: Klingon, as in kling on to a raft and drink their beer...


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## co_bjread (Oct 26, 2004)

The other day, I was goofing off in ender hole, but just pearled and then started carping. I was releived to pull myself together without having to eject.

Oh, and the Amex commercial is my favorite, I do that all the time when I am in those...um...what's the word...um...oh yeah...'rapids'


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## Bonker (Aug 12, 2013)

Speaking of river features, this thread: "Am I ready for Bailey?" has me stumped. I have a lot to learn I know. But, for now, I'm looking for examples of river(creek) features that are class three or easier.

Just to clarify, I know Bailey is years down the creek 

But the names of the features don't seem to have maps or images I can easily find...


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## hojo (Jun 26, 2008)

Bonker said:


> Speaking of river features, this thread: "Am I ready for Bailey?" has me stumped. I have a lot to learn I know. But, for now, I'm looking for examples of river(creek) features that are class three or easier.
> 
> Just to clarify, I know Bailey is years down the creek
> 
> But the names of the features don't seem to have maps or images I can easily find...


Riverbrain.com and Eddyflower.com are two sites that will assist in learning about runs. Eddyflower used to have a lot of pics. Apart from that, Whitewater of the Southern Rockies has pretty pictures (even if Bruno is in some of them . However, your best bet is to just get out with paddlers and paddle. Why, according to rbrain, Deckers is running. Maybe hook up with this group: http://www.mountainbuzz.com/forums/f12/deckers-saturday-8-24-a-49888.html

You won't learn it all here and if you show up spouting the vocab but can't put a spray skirt on or have your paddle backward, you're going to get some odd looks from some very uneasy paddlers. Worry about the paddle orientation first, the names of the paddle strokes second.


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## BrianK (Feb 3, 2005)

Preston H. said:


> "It boats easier than it looks."


The official motto of the OBJ scout hike for first timers. 

Bonker - post what parts of the Bailey thread you are having trouble with and I'm sure we can help you out.

Internet pics/videos of class III (or above) rarely do it justice. The most important thing is to get out and see them for yourself. Waterton and Shoshone (runs on the South Platte and Colorado respectively) are full of class III features right now. Go check em out in person and you'll get a sense for class III in Colorado.


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