# Gnarrows Race... oh so close



## JJH (Oct 14, 2003)

So the flows are droppin and everyone is itching to get after this belt buckle, especially Leif's mom, well my boof and my woman is poppin....

so a call out is in order.

Denver...
is there anyone down there that can race? It is nice to have Fred up here, but he just runs clean up for safety reasons. Cutch, your first run down the narrows will be a fun race, for Fred. SuperDuckey, you better bring your cape, you'll need it.
Pagel, I know we used to race with Zinn at 4 feet for the f_ of it, but now its formal and we need some nastalgia for the young guys. 


Boulder...
Wiggler come on up, we haven't had representation from Boulder since Crash was here in 99' Maybe the Craw will bring it home for you guys..:wink: 

Mountain Boys and West Slopers...
Don't bother... Although we will give you guys a free six pack of the goods for showing up and competing in the heats, so you have something to enjoy during the finals.

Routers...
I am somewhat nervous about you all, however there are sieves, undercuts, hydraulics and boofs to contend with, so no, not really.

Now...
Paul the Premature... you posted to early about this and just like last year you will probably blow your wad in uppers. 
Leif, I like chocolate, so bring a cooler full of ice cream for the after party.
Dotcom, please schedule a video crew, so that I can get a shot in your new online guidebook, titled "he does it again".
Lotsa.. do you even count.. you'll be to busy talking about leif's mom on the side.
Rando, don't bring the kids, they think their dad is tough, you don't want to shatter that for them.
yourrealsad, bring your hotpants, floaties, motor, whatever you need, but the cougars won't be asking about any bling on your waist.
Francois, with this field,your second place is wrapped up for you.


others that I missed, dont' be offended... this race field is full of a bunch of choads anway.


so.. last year it was August 30th and 1.5 on the gauge and good times. This year is not looking so great for that date. But I hope we are wrong. Regardless we are shooting for 2 feet. Yesterday was 2.25...
We could be racing Friday, or next week.. hopefully later... hard to say.. But as always stay tuned... we hope to give a day or two warning...

Rally your women ( I like the attention) and grab some friends to set safety.


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## lotsawater (Nov 18, 2003)

*Not with my Lady on my side!*

Don't make me puke. It was a fluke last year and you know it. We just didn't want you to cry in front of your little girl. 

Rando, you are going to look sooo good in that mushtasche!

This year I have a seceret weapon!


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## yourrealdad (May 25, 2004)

Seeing as how I had to run the gnar of the filter last year, can we wait until I get back from cougar catching in Las Vegas? I get back on Tues. Race on Wed maybe. I mean I will be sort of tired from all those women that look like Leif's mom but charge almost twice as much, but I still think I can pull the win out. 

Ol' JJ the cougars won't be attracted to the belt buckle, I use the belt to blind them and then run away, it is the only way I can keep all those Rio women away. I did shave the stache, but the doesn't seem to help, they just keep coming (in more ways than one).


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## Paul the Kayaker (Nov 7, 2004)

Well well well, here we are getting ready for another race which it seems you were all scared to do at 3 feet when I posted last. And let me tell you old man river, uppers was actually changed to "Paul's Fun Land" because of the english I have been putting down on it, and last year, go ahead look at the pictures, that was me NASA styling the air move over Lief's capsized craft. I just didn’t want to embarrass you by beating you from the second heat, I had to stop and surf for a few minutes when I saw you at the groover! And this year while I am walking back up to the top of lowers having all my gear carried by my escort of your friends I will point down to you and laugh when your doing the airplane move because the real line makes you pee your bed at night! I already have the display case on my mantel and the leather to strap that thing to my waist so lets stop all this and just hand it over now, stay home with the wife and kids and avoid all the embarrassment that comes with knowing the arthritis wont let you get out of the starting eddy.

Paul the Kayaker/Winner/Champ/Agent/BuckleWearer/BoofMaster/GoldMetalist/BlueRibbonHolder/Ronto 

You can pick one!

"Ignition in 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1...We have take off!!"


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## thecraw (Oct 12, 2003)

Is the race from the Upper through the Lower?? Never really heard of where it starts from. Stoked to get in there, but hopefully it's not actually going to be on the 1st of August... If so I am out of town. 

Any chance of doing it on the 30th?


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## Cutch (Nov 4, 2003)

I'm out of commision from July 24th to the 30th. After that I can probably spend one day to actually paddle the narrows. Just during comp. The strategy is to follow the lead guy so he shows you all of the lines, and then use the stern bump spin-out manuever to take the win. Or just wait for him to pull the patented poudre boof, and boof over him while he surfs the hole.

Fred and I are fresh off a 14 second win. 

In the words of House of Pain, "Pack it up pack it in, let me begin, I came to win, battle me that's a sin."


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## Cutch (Nov 4, 2003)

Pete does have a pretty good secret weapon...


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## RiverWrangler (Oct 14, 2003)

The council has convened and the race is tentatively scheduled for next Thursday, July 26 at 6pm. IF YOU WANT TO RACE BAD AND YOU CAN"T RACE ON JULY 26 YOU BEST TO SPEAK UP NOW. 

This is not an official race. There might be safety but we don't determine the rules until the racers meeting at Lower Narrows on the day of the race. There are no cash prizes. Second place will receive an unidentified amount of bitchathane. First place will of course wear the buckle. I don't need to call you out. You know who you are. Gnarrows Race, second annual. Get it on.

Switchback - we must have been posting at the same time. You're already the first voice of dissent but we can't wait that long or the water *might* be too low. Gonna have to cancel teh float trip. And I think there is going to be um more than four competitors and no teams, although you and Fred might as well be a team, as JJ mentioned, running clean-up, for safety of course.


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## Cutch (Nov 4, 2003)

Berckalter, I mean Stafford your going to lose. See dates above.


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## ACC (Oct 30, 2003)

I'm with Cutch. Gonna be on Cataract the 26th to the 1st, but maybe you all should go ahead with the tentative date so you don't have to face up to the bouldenver ownage that is bound to occur otherwise.

Alex
DT holerider


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## Paul the Kayaker (Nov 7, 2004)

Ya ya ya big metro bouldenver talkers. I mean I understand your excuses, you hear them every day from women who won't go home with you, and because of it your confidence is so low you have to pretend your going to be out of town knowing that the dates may not change and your off the hook. Its ok I mean stay on clear creek and walk around rigo a few more times and this will all pass over. Cutch I know you won by 14 seconds but that was only because my team mate was nowhere to be found. I tube that faster than 30 minutes! So as usual it seems like the FC crew will be the only ones to step it up again, its ok boater cross for many is scary! That buckle will never leave town!

P the Positive


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## miker (Jan 26, 2006)

*safety meeting*

This is going to be another good one. I've gotta see this.


Yous prob don't need it, but I can run safety/ observe the art of backing up the shit talk.

I will stay tuned...


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## lotsawater (Nov 18, 2003)

J.J. I pulled this chart off the internets as to help you decide how much longer you can expect to have that rapidly receding hairline. Your so ugly even your hair is trying to get away from your face. Anyways I hope this chart helps. I think you are somewhere around a stage "VI" but it could be a stage VII I dunno. I hope this helps buddy. 

ps. Sunscreen


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## yourrealdad (May 25, 2004)

Look this has gotten a little out of hand here, I mean picking on someone with a disability such as baldness. Not everyone out there can have flowing Jewcurls like myself. Anyways lets make this easy on everyone, just give me the belt. 

JJ can stay at home with the kid and breast feed it, 

Leif doesn't have to buy ice cream, 

Leif's mom doesn't have to stay under water with Pete again although that thing she was doing in the hot tub was amazing, with a capital O face. 

Everyone that is from out of town doesn't have to drive and pollute the environment and waste gas to feel like losers. Just look around: you live in Boulder, you don't need to be a glutton for pain. 

Denverites, this isn't Confluence play wave, this is pure pristine Wild and Scenic Poudre water, you will probably have an allergic reaction to the fresh spring water.


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## Paul the Kayaker (Nov 7, 2004)

What I do not get is stage V A. Is stage V A where you start to get plugs because there seems to be a bit more hair at V A than at VII. Maybe VII is as bad as it gets then you realize your bald and get plugs, which obviously do not work great and all of a sudden your back to V A. JJ just go straight to V A I think there is a free plug clinic next Thursday afternoon, so we all understand if you cannot make it to the race, I the race will always be there, your hairline won't.

P the FullHeadOfHair


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## RiverWrangler (Oct 14, 2003)

OK. So now we have Switchback putting up a front that he actually wants to race, but that it must be extremely low water so that he doesn't have to swim at the first rapid. Anybody want to comment on postponing the race until Aug. 1 so that McClutchsky and anybody else who can't make it next Thursday can race. I think we will still have water (>1.5) but we can't be sure. At this point things are dropping out pretty quickly but I think it will hold until then. 

If we move the race to Aug. 1st to accommodate you McCoochie, you must be in attendance and I will put a month long mustache bet that I am still going to come out on top, even at knuckle dragging levels, which is your specialty. The scary thing is visualizing you with sixteen curly blonde hairs above your lip. Uhhg. Remember the rules before you agree. 1 month sporting a mustache, no hair below the lip, and the time doesn't start until you actually have a mustache (which could be an extra month of embarrassing peach fuzz, unless you hit puberty since I saw you last). Talk amongst yourszelves.


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## lotsawater (Nov 18, 2003)

I for one am against postponing the race for Kyle. His huge head would pop if we postponed a fort collins event for somebody that doesn't even live here. Phuq him and his couch. There is a reason his nickname is "Switchback Mountain"


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## yourrealdad (May 25, 2004)

I say get it while the gettins good. I was up there today polishing off my whiteline boof and I haven't seen a boof like that since I went to Tijauna and saw the ol Leif's mom and senor donkey show (there is supposed to be a tilde above the n in senor but I don't know how to do that). Oh and just in case you thought I could be beat because my boat fills up with water faster than poo in JJ's Depends, I got a new shell today. Uh oh, somebody's closer.


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## Force (Apr 27, 2004)

This thursday, next wednesday, it don't matter as I'm going to smoke you all. Level is 2.1ft as of this Sunday at 5pm and is looking to be optimal for race lines with a good chance of some carnage in places. 

Lotsalikecock - you better lay off the colorado ruben as those love handles will do little to help your performance other than giving you extra floatation when you're swimming out of white line. allthough i hear my mom likes having something to hold onto when she's giving it to you with her strap on and she tells me your handles work great. i'm honestly a little surprised your into that and wouldn't have believed it until i saw her mounting you from the rear last week on the narrows. wow... your a giving person...or shall i say a taking person. 

Yourrealsister - please apply some vagisil to your nether regions before the race as you might be a little sore after the prelims and ps a new hull will do little to help your performance if you're still running the sneaks. 

Paul the boyfriend of yourrealsister - are you sure you remember the lines up on the gnarrows? as i haven't seen you on the water in awhile but i did see some sweet footage of your swimming in DT. hopefully your boys knew how to fish you out. i figured you had sold you boat and taken up rollerblading since then. you know the hardest thing about rollerblading? telling your dad your gay. 

JJH - stop watching my race lines as you ain't got the skills or hairline to follow what i've got planned. i'm taking that belt buckle from you whether you like it or not. 

Dotcom - you better figure out the line on super collider as surfing the hole is no way to win the race but will provide some good friendly rubbing all winter long. 

Frenchy - i've heard about your plans to bring the long boat and while some may consider it cheating last years final four may allow it due to your old age as thats the only way you're making it into the finals this year.


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## GAtoCSU (Apr 18, 2005)

You bitches better bring some peaches if I show up.. I'll be collecting them.

I like peach pie btw.. And I'll take that belt buckle to get polished so I have some more bling bling...

Scott


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## RiverWrangler (Oct 14, 2003)

Leifchild... might I remind of you last year.


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## lotsawater (Nov 18, 2003)

Peachy

This is a race down a class V streatch of whitewater, it is NOT one of your ******* comps her pall. I hope you know what you're getting yourself into.
This isn't like that picture I saw of your last family reunion.


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## GAtoCSU (Apr 18, 2005)

Hey,

Don't knock the mud training until you try it. I'm going to be so far in front of you that I'll be able to set safety for you at the lower narrows so if you swim again I'll be able to fish your ass out 

Scott


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## adrock (Apr 28, 2004)

Fellas, some very funny shit. JJH, way to kick it off, I have a side cramp from laughing at that post. As you may or may not know I've had some pretty important shit to do in this 100 degree heat, like brand beer, license music, lift stones, move dirt and drink a shit ton of Blue Paddle, but if I can lay off the sauce and the rock for an evening I might try to find my nuts, my boat, my camera and my way up to the gnarrows for either some filming or some racing depending on weather or not I feel like swimming out of white line.


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## yetigonecrazy (May 23, 2005)

i think dotcoms post really cuts right through the bullshit and says it all


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## Rando (Mar 24, 2004)

Lotsawater is gonna need a glue on mustache. JJ might need a defibrilator for his geriatric ass and life's mom is gonna need a bottle of lube! Oh and life should probably bring a scuba tank just in case.


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## Force (Apr 27, 2004)

So a triumvirate of last years finalists (funny rando you weren't there...) has meet and decided to proceed with the race this thursday. I'm probably sticking my foot in my mouth but plan to meet at Teds at 5:30pm or lower narrows at 6pm. 

Last years format included prelimins from above super collider to lower narrow with gentleman rules applying in uppers and a shotgun start with the top two from each heat advancing into the finals. The final heat was again a shotgun start from above the bridge at lowers to the take out eddy. If you show up to race you need to competant (there will be little to no hand holding rando) or lotsawater will make run aggresive saftey for him at white line.


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## Paul the Kayaker (Nov 7, 2004)

Dotcom said it force! And that was me in the trusty CFS coming to boof your swirlwing ass, I had you in lowers, I just decided I would rather drink tasty beers than run the second heats. I think your memory may be fading! Rando didnt you get lapped by the second wave last year? Stay in BFE! As for the rest of you, its coming, and when you see me looping past you in a kingpin you'll know that this race would be a wash if I showed up in my long boat! I just want to keep it competitive you know. I'll be bringing my display case for my winnings.

Paul the Mother Fucking Kayaker!


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## Force (Apr 27, 2004)

P the K and Yourrealsister in Vegas, so cute together. Funny though, I can't tell who's who. Can anyone else?


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## Paul the Kayaker (Nov 7, 2004)

2 ways to tell, 1 - kevin is always in rainbow colors! 2 - I will be the one who's back your looking at during the race! Sorry I am not 9 feet tall and pointed at by everyone. Kevin called me yesterday and said he saw your mom, she was on the corner 2 blocks from the strip offering money for sex!


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## holley (Mar 8, 2004)

*balds have more fun*

OK sorry to interrupt...but I was just trying to figure out where dotcom fits in on the whole hair-loss diagram. Are we talking a "VII" with a shave-over?? Not a big deal, but it would be good to sort that out...I've been wondering that shit forever. Don't get me wrong, even though I'm more partial to the salt & pepper thing, I think bald is _hot_. Just wondering...

I think I should be off the pain killers enough to at least be reliable safety by Thursday. If not, I'll be in charge of refreshments. Can't wait!


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## pagel (Feb 10, 2005)

*You fuckin labia totin hairless old fucks!*

If its next week, I'm in. In Milwaukee til friday. I have just sharpened the ends of ol' blue. You remember the Dancer XT don't you boize? Frenchy? None of the dotcomers know how to paddle a boat longer than 7 feet. You can let them probe 5 seconds ahead and spear them at the bottom of each drop, fall back behind, and do it again. Comedy!
Pagel


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## adrock (Apr 28, 2004)

Pretty sure I'm the only one outta all you mthrfckrs that's got a full head of hair (other than Kevin jew curls), and I'm gonna style that shit up nice for Thursday. Pagel, Ive got a transition in the front yard ifn you want er. fuck it, fly back early, what, you think work is a good reason to miss this shit? You need a good whoopin on the fusbal table, ya'  aint gonna like it.


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## GAtoCSU (Apr 18, 2005)

Might have to break out the Pirouette S. that is in my back yard since my Corsica S is in GA.. hmm...


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## yourrealdad (May 25, 2004)

All right ladies got back from Sin City and after basically going on a non stop three day bender including multiple nights with Leif's mom, who by the way only charges one wooden nickel for her services, I feel that it probably would have been in your best interests to have the race while I was gone. I didn't get to post this before I left but when I was up on the narrows last week I saved a giant rattlesnake from the river. As I picked it up and brought it to shore it said " Whohoma nitty pitty suckle sum titti" I knew right away that this was one of my spirit guides telling me the race was in the bag for me and I had the gods blessings, rattlesnakes are also the animal for men who if they need a long boat to paddle just whip it out. I also won 10$ at craps so the gods are definitely watching out for me.

So even if that vision was an acid flashback I still got a long boat ready and waiting.

Oh and Force, isn't that picture from your wedding in Massachusetts and we we all supposed to dress accordingly so your husband felt comfortable


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## Force (Apr 27, 2004)

yourrealsister and paul the boyfriend of yourrealsister,

don't joke yourself, we all know pete has had my mom solidly locked up in his basement for the past few weeks as they are close to completing the kama sutra manual. she maybe a giving women but she's not fucking houdini...or at least not yet.


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## lotsawater (Nov 18, 2003)

Kevin- Did you mean 10k or $10.00. If it's 10k maybe you could afford to buy a brace or a boof stroke. 

For all of you who know Randy Ramirez of the awful state of WY, Larime, picture this.. . . Randy with a mustache! 
One that does not go below the lip line. Well if you can't picture that in your minds eye, after Thurs. when he loses the 30 day mustache bet that we have, you will be able to see it in person. And I will also be taking some pics for general amuzement. Should be good. 

Is anybody from the 303 comming up for the festivities, or anywhere else for that matter??????

I would love to have a big race, instead of a locals only whoopin I usually put down.

C'mon in, the water's GREAT!


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## yourrealdad (May 25, 2004)

I actually think that if Rando Calarisian got a stache he would fit in better up in the ol' WY. Doesn't seem like he is losing anything but gaining.


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## RiverWrangler (Oct 14, 2003)

Thanks Holley. Bald is so _hot _and I'd bet a mustache that a balding/greying individual is going to take home the title. These youngsters with the hair don't have the experience to get it done. I keep my stage under wraps. Really I've got a full head of hair I just shave it for fun. 

Is there any interest in a Division II middles race, or a middles/lowers race? Would there be enough people to fill another heat? Maybe a ladies class. I'd love to see the Poudre Puffs battling it out through green bridge. Any takers? 

By the way - THE RACE IS ON - 6PM TOMMORROW - COME ONE COME ALL TO THE BEST THING GOING AT THIS TIME OF YEAR - THE 2ND ANNUAL POUDRE GNARROWS RACE - FOR THE BUCKLE!


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## JCKeck1 (Oct 28, 2003)

MMM...Seems as though the 303 can't represent. Ya'll have scheduled this thing so that the "Buckle will never leave the Fort". Plus I must admit that a mustache bet is pretty intimidating for Kyle and I. It'd take me 6 months to grow it and then another one to wear it. For next year, I'll bet a mustache against you growning out your hair enough to stage it! Bluegrass Sunday? Rock on you racers - Looking foward to the pics.
Joe


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## miker (Jan 26, 2006)

RiverWrangler said:


> Maybe a ladies class. I'd love to see the Poudre Puffs battling it out through green bridge. Any takers?
> 
> By the way - THE RACE IS ON - 6PM TOMMORROW - COME ONE COME ALL TO THE BEST THING GOING AT THIS TIME OF YEAR - THE 2ND ANNUAL POUDRE GNARROWS RACE - FOR THE BUCKLE!


More like the Poudre Puff Puff Passes


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## lotsawater (Nov 18, 2003)

Are there really only 2 boaters in the 303? What happend down there? 

Stream wrestler- "I'm not really bald, I just shave my head for fun" 
ARE YOU KIDDING ME CUEBALL? At least however your not as bad as JJ, just holding on to those glory days of the full head of hair. Did you see that hair piece that he was wearing yesterday? GROSS!

24hrs and counting.


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## JCKeck1 (Oct 28, 2003)

Don't forget pagel....that makes 3.


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## Paul the Kayaker (Nov 7, 2004)

Rando, have you seen my hair? I am the youngster with super genes, a nice full head of hair comes with the territory. Force, peter may have your mom locked up like java the hut in that basement, but it doesn’t mean there hasn’t been a steady line out the front door, I mean I haven’t seen that many transients in one place since I was at Safeway. JJH sounds like your new plugs have affected your speech! Dot next year the bet is to grow your hair for a month, we'll see how that line stacks up against someone twice your age. And I laugh at long boat, short boat if you want to pony up! See ya'll at the finish line.

Futuristic moment - "Hey hot stuff, sexy buckle". - Hot Chick #1
"Ya can I come see that thing up close" - Hot Chick #2
"By the end of the night that's all I'll be wearing". - Simultaneously hot chicks #1&2 

Futuristic monuments never lie!

P the K


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## RiverWrangler (Oct 14, 2003)

OK. Couple of things since the beta got bumped off the last page by these adolescent pubeless wonders. *Race meeting* - *5:30 at Ted's Place tonight, July 26th*. Rules, classes and divisions will be decided depending on # of racers and ability levels. If you *can't* make the 5:30 meeting but *can* be up at the gnarrows by *6:30* then you can still race. The main race is top to bottom. Period. If there is interest in a race that does not include uppers I am all for it as well. I've seen at least ten people running middle/lowers every night this week. You know who you are - come and race that shit. And... what's up with the 303 posse that we ran into just about every weekend this season. Tyson, Luke, Ben - do you guys even paddle anymore since your mining contaminated run-off along I-70 has shut down???

Lotsacallinout-to-help-ease-his-own-complex - you know how there's all those hardcore conservative ****-phobes in our government, grown white men who've had a silver spoon their entire lives spraying as much as they can about family values, how being gay is a sin, etc., etc. and then it turns out that they ARE homosexual themselves. This reminds me a lot of your posts on this forum... except about baldness. You would know what I'm talking about if you had eyes in the back of your head. One stage behind JJ, _maybe. _And he's got ten years on you, or thereabouts. 

And P the anything but K, WTF is a futuristic monUment. A bronzed statue of me wearing the buckle? That would make sense. You and two hot chicks - that sounds more like you dreaming about being the guy in the video Kevin "accidentally" rented in his Vegas motel room last weekend.


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## Paul the Kayaker (Nov 7, 2004)

Hot chicks! You keep asking me to tell your bald married ass stories of debauchery and tomfoolery well I figured this time I would tell you how it is before it happened and then just fill in the little details for you tomorrow. Sorry the monument will actually be a gold statue of me with the buckle and the two hot chicks.

Peter I was going to say something to you but its not worth my time.

Randy stay home with the kids

JJ like holley said, shave it and quit trying to have hair

Lief start pronouncing your own name right

Walt did you die or just forget your password to the buzz again

KevJew your new shinny boat cannot help you now

Frenchy, nice job the quiet competitor, lots of honor

303's just stay where you are, no sense wasting a tank of gas. You all know that any one of the FC crew will beat the metros.

P the Winner


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## JJH (Oct 14, 2003)

Paul, 
You have talked more smack than anyone. 

Now, I hope you are ready to back it. Today is the day....

I would like to bet your midget ass who paddles a cfs customized for a small person, a nice wadger of a bald spot. The mustache is just not that big of a bet and you probably can't grow one.


If I beat you, you must shave a bald spot into that luxurious hair-do of yours for a month. If I lose I would shorten my self to your height, but that is impossible. So, your call.

Who knows, with a bald spot, you actually might get two chicks. Choadboy.


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## Paul the Kayaker (Nov 7, 2004)

My last post was going to be my last one for this topic. I was going to leave it at that and have fun racing, but I guess you wanted to call me out. I cannot bet that, what kind of bet is that, there are no consequences for you, you lose and you already have a bald spot. How does that entice me. I am the only one here with anything to lose, I mean I am still working on getting the girls, you have a wife that loves the hairline. So I think not. See ya up there.

PtheK


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## holley (Mar 8, 2004)

Do it, Paul! It might really help you out. Seriously...when you think about it, the guys with the bald spots here have the hottest wives. And I'm guessing the hair loss came before the hotties. 

Exhibit A:
JJ's got Kate (smokin hot!)
Marty's got Michelle (damn right gorgeous!)
Evan's got Nicole (supermodel!)
Punk-Ass Kendrick's got Megan (hot hot hot and funny!)

So you see, this wager may actually _help_ you in the quest for the hot wife. It's a win-win...you beat JJ, you get the hot girls. You lose to JJ, you shave a bald spot, you get the hot girls.

I'm just sayin...


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## lotsawater (Nov 18, 2003)

Mrs. Gardells

After you two finish your tea and crumpets (they're French) you should mosey up to the river and watch me stomp, you could both help in running aggressive saftey, or make sure that my beers are cold at the take out.

Mr. Clean-
Are you kiddin' me? You held on to that pony dread for about 3 years after you should have chopped that crop. I don't think I saw you without a hat for the first 5 yrs. I met you. However I'm not scared, I do have my blue blockers so your secret power is useless on me. Plus you're short, real short. You'll have a nice view of the back of my head tonight so you can get a good look. 

Anyway we have to let the Leif show win. He has been up there everyday for the last 12 weeks running hot laps on that, "learning the lines". If we don't let him win, he could lose all of his sponsers. He is an icon in the sport and a blow like that to his fragile ego, could push him out of the sport forever. Not to mention that his girlfreind might beat his ass for losing. THERE'S NO TRAINING FOR THE NARROWS RACE! What a wanker. 


Would be good to see some of the 303's up here. . . we could use some extra shuttle bunnies.


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## South_Lander (Mar 15, 2006)

Let the force win. You got to be kidding me. All though if he makes it into the finals this year and blows the boof again it would be hillarious. 

Lotsawater you're sure talking a lot of smack for someone who look winded and blue in the face walking up to the road after lowers the otherday. you didn't even seem to have enough spunk for another lap when riverwrangler and force got it done. you do realize the race is from uppers through lowers don't you? here's a tip make p the wanker carry your boat to the putin so you don't get winded as that'll be the closest he'll be to the winners circle. 

Yourrealdad your also talking a lot of smack for someone who reportedly just learned to kayak and is soon to be unemployed. Here's a tip kayaking is a lot different than guiding a raft.

If you want my predictions it the old men you've got to worry about they may not have spunk but they've got the trickery part down.

PS - I'll be a whiteline setting safety and if any poor sucker in a long boat misses the line and gets worked i think i'll let them figure things out for awhile as boating a long boat to try and keep up is just poor form.


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## yourrealdad (May 25, 2004)

First of all who is South Lander? Do I know you? Yeah I just started to kayak compared to people like JJ who began 100 years ago in kayaks made out of balsa wood. Shoot I would be bald too if I was 117 yrs old.

Holley, as a person with a full head of hair I can say that all the ladies have never been disappointed nor ask for me to go shiny.

Where did all of this Paul and Kevin stuff begin, just cause the ladies get what they want (a wobbly H) from me and Paul doesn't mean we are now dating.
Urban Dictionary: Wobbly H

The first scratch I put into my new boat will be when I boof over someone in whiteline and while they cartwheel they nick my boat.

P.S. Lostatimewaitingforyou, Tea and Crumpets are British, You must have confused them with cabernet sauvignon and foie gras.

If you want the lines just follow the orange boat to the buckle and ladies.


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## JCKeck1 (Oct 28, 2003)

Comon....I'm stuck at work dying for some results. Who's wearing a mustache and who's wearing the buckle?
Joe


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## FLOWTORCH (Mar 5, 2004)

Congrats to the RiverWrangler!


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