# narrows race carnage



## gapers (Feb 14, 2004)

By far filter-plant and all the douchebag tubers,tubing in cotton shirts when it's 60degrees and pouring,then deciding this wasn't such a great idea and running down the side of the already,insanely busy highway. Fuggin gapers.


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## GAtoCSU (Apr 18, 2005)

Did Pete swim again? God damn, he's setting some new record with this one...


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## durangatang (Oct 13, 2006)

sorry to have missed it! was doing a commercial trip downstream. would LOVE to see some pictures and/or videos!!


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## gannon_w (Jun 27, 2006)

I took video on everything and will post it (youtube) later this week.


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## RiverWrangler (Oct 14, 2003)

Gnarrows race was a huge success this year even though I swam like Michael Phelps. McClutchen represented hard for the 303 and took home the Buckle. That kid can take a forward stroke... or about four hundred in a row while most of the Poudre Posse was winded at the bottom of Whiteline (side note: I was very winded at Whiteline and may need a roll class, one thing about being a new dad is - it doesn't get you in shape, I could also use a full nights rest pretty bad). Anyway, Cutch bested FC's finest on his first day on the Poudre Narrows and it hurts. It hurts deep down on the inside but he is a special paddler. One of the best in the state. 

16 racers, four full length heats, two Lowers semi-final heats and a super exciting finals with three or four lead changes. Wyoming represented and so did Denver. We even got to paddle with Joe and he was claiming and I quote, "hands down - best race of the year." You can't beat the boatercross. Special thanks to Rob from the Forest Service who helped run safety and who so kindly decided to let us have our little race. It truly is a grassroots event and not even official enough for the FS to shut down. Awesome.

I need to heal my wounds. Zero swims until August and then BAM! Three swims in one week! I lost my boat, my camera, spare paddle, throwbag, pin kit, first aid kit and now the Buckle. I almost lost my paddle too but the bros found it. At least I showed up for the race echem, Marty Bell & Brian Gardel (Frenchy). They need to be called out for not representing for the home team and going to the Big South just so that they would have an excuse not to race. Echem, bullshit! The Big South was open for business on Sat. and will be at the same level probably through next weekend. The race is only one day a year. Frenchy has been a perennial finalist and Marty has the technique and the speed and they both have the ability to show up and take the title, if they would have just shown up. Now the Buckle is going to Denver with Cutch. NOOOOOOOOO!

As for the most carnage I voted for the Mishawaka. A big no thank you to the Mish. Used to be one of my favorite bars in the world, but after today I don't see myself going back - EVER. They kicked us out in one of the most rude manners I have ever been dealt with in a business establishment because, even though we brought maybe 25 people and spent at least a few hundred dollars in an hour on food and drinks, we didn't pay the cover for the Sunday afternoon band. We were out on the patio before the band started playing and it was lightly raining. 

When it got sunny the band started playing and one employee came around and asked us basically if we were there for the show or if we were just having a few rounds of drinks. We told him we were there to celebrate the Gnarrows Race and to have a few rounds and he told us that we did not need to pay the cover. Then Jackass numero uno, who I heard is the new owner (not sure on that) comes over to us in a absurdly confrontational manner, telling us that we better all pay the cover immediately or get the f&ck out of there. Mind you, some us had more drinks and food on the way, excuse us for trying to patronize your establishment. 

There were literally three or four people down by the stage dancing who had paid the cover (not with our group) and we were on the patio not even looking at the stage. We were over three quarters of the people paying for anything in the bar at the time. The dude was so confrontational, trying to push us out before we could even close out our tabs and get, much less eat the food that we had just ordered. Needless to say things escalated and I'm surprised that no Mish employees ended up being thrown over the railing and in the river. I am planning to boycott the Mishawaka and in light of this incident I'd like to see the rest of the paddling community take their business elsewhere. F$ck the Mishawaka - LONG LIVE THE GNARROWS RACE!

Rant over.


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## colt (Dec 19, 2004)

*Gnarrows Race - Not sure about most carnage, but most action was at Lower Narrows*



boof512 said:


> So the narrows race went down today and was as usual action packed. But the question must be asked to those that were there. Where was the most carnage? White line or the Mishawaka inn? And why?:twisted:


Gnarrows Race - Not sure about most carnage, but most action was at Lower Narrows, at least what we got on camera  : MountainGirl65's slideshow on Flickr


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## caspermike (Mar 9, 2007)

i was pretty surprised the old meth head(not hippie) didn't get tossed in the river. 

what the difference between the mish hippies and real hippies. the mish hippies can afford meth while the others can barely afford food. by far the rudest i have ever seen customers treated and the last time i stop at that shit hole.

we needed some white chocolatte


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## yoder (Dec 9, 2003)

Man, can't believe I decided to bail on the mish! Kudos to all on a great race.

-brian


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## jeffy (Sep 17, 2004)

Damn, wish I hadn't bailed on the mish as well! I took almost 500 photos. I was right on the river at Lower. I'll post some highlights to the buzz shortly. I have a good photo of every single paddler in the water whether on whiteline or lower. 

Example attached

Jeff


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## caspermike (Mar 9, 2007)

Hows the whiteline carnage please post my nasty line..... green jefe yellow helmet


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## jeffy (Sep 17, 2004)

Here ya go.


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## adrock (Apr 28, 2004)

Thanks to all the racers (especially 303 and WY for making a strong showing) and spectators/shooters. Bring on the pics.

No thanks to the Mishawaka Meth Crew. Crazy times, followed by crazier times. A day to be remembered. I will race again next year, I will not patronize the Mishawaka again. More deets to come on this. 

When it comes to losing, I don't fuck around.
Second year in a row, winner of the losers.

Best, Adrian M Glasenapp


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## JCKeck1 (Oct 28, 2003)

One awesome event. Thanks to the FTC for setting up another venue so the 303 could again prove where the best creekers in the state reside. On that note, Adrian you better start training because I'm fired up to take your thrown as winner of the losers next year. Second loser was a tough pill to swallow, but I managed to chase it down with PBRs and a couple beautiful ladies who coerced CMo and I into a Filter Plant tube run. That was quite the afternoon. Included in this poll should also be the carnage that occured in the back of Tina's truck - god damn rookies.

I had a great time and thanks to all who put time and effort into organizing the race (even if most of them swam). Why is it that I'm the only one smack talking this year? Well, next year is probably gonna be my turn to swim for the cameras....

Joe


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## JJH (Oct 14, 2003)

I have to give mad props to Cutch (as much as I hate to see the buckle live in Denver for a year). We raced every heat together yesterday and he had my number all day and I am sure I lost some skin to his paddle numerous times in the two heats of boater cross. I even tried to disrupt him in the finals, so Leif could win and retain bragging rights in the Fort.

What a sweet day though, the racers were all having fun, being safe and giving it. Although it has already been said, the Wyoming boys and Denver crew made the race a lot more competitive, but they also really added to a great vibe.

Also, thanks to all the spectators, videographers, ladies and the safety helpers who came out to watch. It is always great to get the community together near the end of the year for the race and blow out. I am sure a comprehensive write up with pics will surface. 

Thanks to all,

ps. Peaches, shut up. Pete styled it and did not swim. I did, at the take out. (thanks to the Cutch and Chris Mo. for getting my gear after 3 exhuasting races)

Pss. a rumor is that two guys from the Poudre Posse were spotted wearing hot pants together down the big south yesterday and were smacking each others asses as they portaged double trouble. It wasn't ronto and jacobi.

psss. Kyle please don't let the buckle get all nasty from the big city skank. I don't want to catch any germs next year!!


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## jeffy (Sep 17, 2004)

Here's a sampler of the photos.... If you're looking for pics of yourself, reply back with your boat and helmet color and I can send the ones I have of you. I've got 500 to sort, but these caught my eye on first glance.

Picasa Web Albums - Jeff - Gnarrows Race...

I'll post more to the page as I go through them.


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## caspermike (Mar 9, 2007)

thanks and great album


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## yourrealdad (May 25, 2004)

I leave town and this is how the FTC is represented? I am appalled and ashamed, my new area code is still 970 but I am thinking I need to get it changed.

By the way its good to see Austin reppin the 307 in that sexy black boat and a sweet stache.


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## Force (Apr 27, 2004)

Good times. Thanks to everyone for showing up and representing. While adding the semi-final heat made it that much more exhausting this year was the best "non event" yet. 

And thanks to the tweaker at Mish for taking, throwing, and then exploding my prize of a 40oz of Old E over everyone. That was way better than actually having to drink the thing.

To end here's a quiz for everyone,

How does a guy who doesn't even live in Colorado anymore, and who talked smack the past two years prior to the race but never had the balls to show up, and makes is claim to fame to be "running to gnar at the lowest flows possible since 1995..." qualify to give anyone shit even if they did swim?

Answer

He doesn't. Go "borrow" a boat, jackass.


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## caspermike (Mar 9, 2007)

I offered up my micro 240, he must not of wanted to race and was just using the boat drama as an excuse.

about your beer, i was able to enjoy some of that old e on my burger thanks to the tweak. i was about to burger slap that P.O.S.


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## GAtoCSU (Apr 18, 2005)

Force said:


> Good times. Thanks to everyone for showing up and representing. While adding the semi-final heat made it that much more exhausting this year was the best "non event" yet.
> 
> And thanks to the tweaker at Mish for taking, throwing, and then exploding my prize of a 40oz of Old E over everyone. That was way better than actually having to drink the thing.
> 
> ...


Lol. Ouch.. I didn't know that I was such a pussy. Glad you put that in perspective. I must have been scared of the narrows at 2 feet. Yeh, that's why I wasn't in my boat that day. With the amount of shit talking on here I'm surprised that I managed to hit a nerve with such a seasoned boater.

Go borrow a boat? I have a boat.. 2 of them to be specific. Not everyone gets an entire line of boats to play with.

Scott

PS. That "self proclaimed" quote there was a fucking joke towards casper when we jokingly posted pictures of the narrows this spring. Jesus. I guess we can't all be as uber as you.


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## Awoody (Nov 15, 2006)

yourrealdad said:


> I leave town and this is how the FTC is represented? I am appalled and ashamed, my new area code is still 970 but I am thinking I need to get it changed.
> 
> By the way its good to see Austin reppin the 307 in that sexy black boat and a sweet stache.


 
WHile they were no hotpants, I thought my assless chaps really rounded out the biker look. Coming into Supercolider just wasn't the same without looking down at your hull Kevin, where were you?


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## caspermike (Mar 9, 2007)

scott you guys had a race on your home run and didn't even represent? what gives besides the shitty excuses?


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## JCKeck1 (Oct 28, 2003)

Oh snap. Scott, you gotta admit that Leif's got a pretty valid point there...

Leif, nice restraint in not pulling that dude's head off his shoulders. That's what most typical Nords would do. He came by our table to apologize to the ladies afterwards. His statement was, "If I was 6" taller and 60lbs heavier, people wouldn't give me crap." To which Jen replied, "If you were, I'd still be able to kick your ass." I can't believe he broke your bottle - such bull.

Joe


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## GAtoCSU (Apr 18, 2005)

caspermike said:


> scott you guys had a race on your home run and didn't even represent? what gives besides the shitty excuses?


In 06' I was home with a girl that had just got out of the hospital.

In 07' I forgot there was a race and was at school doing research.

Oh well, guess I can't say anything since I missed out on my two chances to show that I could handle that section of river. Now that I'm back in a "no boating" zone, I can just browse websites and troll under aliases so I don't upset the elders.


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## caspermike (Mar 9, 2007)

ive never once had an alias. just wondering why you weren't there. don't get them panties in a bundle! i guess since im going to throw some loops and mcnastys tonight i dont live in a boater "zone" hah you never made it to casper this year thats a shame i couldv'e show you around the area.

awsome race to bad you didn't make it.


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## jeffy (Sep 17, 2004)

Added about 30 more pics to after my original post. 

Picasa Web Albums - Jeff - Gnarrows Race...

I have a ton more, if you want the photos with you in them (more than what is posted) send me a p.m.


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## miker (Jan 26, 2006)

What the fuck happened up there at the Mish?

Why did you pay your tab? 

You should of just left him and his crystal love affair.


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## Ture (Apr 12, 2004)

RiverWrangler said:


> ...
> As for the most carnage I voted for the Mishawaka. A big no thank you to the Mish. Used to be one of my favorite bars in the world, but after today I don't see myself going back - EVER. They kicked us out in one of the most rude manners I have ever been dealt with in a business establishment
> ...


That new owner sounds like he doesn't want any kayakers in his place. I wasn't there but I've heard enough: I'll never, ever stop there for a burger again. I'd rather eat the 4 month old power bar in my PFD pocket.


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