# WANKER



## mrdecember (May 18, 2016)

Ever planned a big group river trip and had some of the group show up excited, but not having any idea what the plan is or how they can help? I'm planning this years summer trip, and instead of sending out an itinerary, I'm encouraging everyone to get smart themselves. I think this helps people take more responsibility and contribute!

I figured some of you all might be able to use this for your trips. Cheers!


Before signing up for this year's trip, you should be able to answer all the questions below:

Waiver Acknowledging Necessary Knowledge, Establishing Responsibility [WANKER]

1. I can identify on google maps where this river is
2. I know the put in and take out and can identify them on a map
3. I know how many river miles this section is, and how many days we will be on the river
4. I understand the various shuttle options for our vehicles
5. I have read a description of rapids, have an idea of what levels the river will be at in [time of year], have watched videos, and understand what my river skill levels will need to be to be successful
6. I understand the average highs/lows for weather this time of year, and understand the types of inclement weather I may encounter
7. I understand the type of river gear I will need to be successful; I have an understanding of the water temperature, wind chill, and what will make me most comfortable on and off the water
8. I agree to be in charge of at least one meal (shop for, pack, cook and clean up after breakfast, lunch or dinner)
9. I have an idea of which type of water craft will make me most successful (ducky, kayak, raft, etc)
10. I want to go on an epic river trip in the middle of nowhere


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## almortal (Jun 22, 2014)

11. I understand that if I don't pull my weight and set up my tent before group gear is unloaded I will never be invited on a trip again.


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## Riverwild (Jun 19, 2015)

12. I understand that I will be pooping into a bucket for a week.
13. I understand that after the trip is over I will help clean gear, wash coolers etc, as necessary.
14. I understand Basic First Aid.
15. I understand this is a shared cost trip and I am responsible to pay my portion.


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## zbaird (Oct 11, 2003)

12.1- Emphasis on pooping in a bucket, and I will pee in the river.
12.2-I understand only TP goes in the bucket
12.3- Even if my mom is on the trip, I won't walk away after I spackle or pee on the seat.


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## jspoon14 (Aug 5, 2012)

This is F#*%ING awesome! I love is and am going to use it. I love going on trips and don't mind planning as long as everyone understand what their role is and don't have to be an asshole to keep people on track. 

Thanks for posting!!!!


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## jspoon14 (Aug 5, 2012)

15.1 I understand that if I or my +1 bail at the last minute i am still responsible for trip costs.


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## 90Duck (Nov 19, 2012)

16. I understand that bringing up politics around the campfire will result in no future invites.

There's a time and a place for that shit, but not on my river trip!


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## wshutt (Jun 20, 2013)

Notes On Trip And Waiver Acknowledging Necessary Knowledge, Establishing Responsibility [NOTAWANKER]


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## griz (Sep 19, 2005)

17. I can tolerate condescending emails from my Trip Leader and still enjoy my time on the river.


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## seantana (Mar 5, 2015)

90Duck said:


> 16. I understand that bringing up politics *or religion* around the campfire will result in no future invites.
> 
> There's a time and a place for that shit, but not on my river trip!


Amen


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## mrdecember (May 18, 2016)

haha exactly griz you get it


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## portermoab (Sep 20, 2017)

almortal said:


> 11. I understand that if I don't pull my weight and set up my tent before group gear is unloaded I will never be invited on a trip again.


This one is a BIG deal!


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## nsealing (Dec 21, 2018)

This post is funnier than shit! But my question is why do people subject themselves to this nonsense? Is it some level of guilt that you need to maximize the trip size due to the rarity of drawing the permit? We stopped doing these big trips due to the drama the above list inevitably causes. Power-trippers, egos and flat-out clueless people ruin the reason I'm out there. Small trips rule!


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## zbaird (Oct 11, 2003)

Griz did nail it with that one!!! Those emails keep the trip moving forward and make it so I don't have to be condescending once we get to the river!

Nseal,

I do have tight crews that I boat with, know what to expect of without said condesending emails (usually, but send them for fun anyway) and the trips pretty much plan themselves. There is absolutely something beautiful about those trips. That said sometimes it worth subjecting yourself to the pain of opening up to newbies whether passengers or new boaters. We had to build those tight crews somehow right? New blood, especially people brand new to multi days, or new to the canyon of the hour brings a flavor to the trip that you don't always get with the same old crew on the same old runs. Don't get me wrong, I like small tight trips, and do them often, but i swear the most efficient trip and the trip I have done the least work on (cooked one meal on a 5 day trip) was a 25 person yampa trip that I was invited on. I only knew 3 people. It was a whole bunch of friends of friends etc. Shit just got done, no drama, on the water before 9. They all must have read the NOWANKER rules before they even existed. I have boated dozens of times and gotten on some great permits with several people from that trip. I'd have never done that had I stuck to only the old small trusty crew. Every once in awhile though a real shitshow trip will make you appreciate that tight little crew just a little more, it sours me and makes me take the risk less and less for sure.


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## stinginrivers (Oct 18, 2003)

^^^^the condescending emails have been entertaining me.
Can't wait for 4/17 it is going to be a great trip.


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## caverdan (Aug 27, 2004)

nsealing said:


> This post is funnier than shit! But my question is why do people subject themselves to this nonsense? Is it some level of guilt that you need to maximize the trip size due to the rarity of drawing the permit? We stopped doing these big trips due to the drama the above list inevitably causes. Power-trippers, egos and flat-out clueless people ruin the reason I'm out there. Small trips rule!


 This sounds like the rules for a High School Deso trip to me...:mrgreen::mrgreen::mrgreen:...Too many kids and this is what you get.


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## trevko (Jul 7, 2008)

zbaird said:


> Griz did nail it with that one!!! Those emails keep the trip moving forward and make it so I don't have to be condescending once we get to the river!
> 
> Nseal,
> 
> I do have tight crews that I boat with, know what to expect of without said condesending emails (usually, but send them for fun anyway) and the trips pretty much plan themselves. There is absolutely something beautiful about those trips.


These are great, but I must have some awesome boating friends with low drama and high emotional intelligence. Biggest drama on our MFS last July was to stop for ice cream or not. With 9 kids on the trip it should have been a no brainer.....


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## 2tomcat2 (May 27, 2012)

# 18: Wash your hands, wash your hands, wash your hands


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## MontanaLaz (Feb 15, 2018)

griz said:


> 17. I can tolerate condescending emails from my Trip Leader and still enjoy my time on the river.


17.1 I will actually read those emails

I was TL for a trip last year and invited my best friend from growing up because even though we live 1500 miles apart we still try to get together at least once a year.

He had never done a multi-day before, but I knew he would be just fine. 

Anyhoo, He's a big dude so I give to him in an email exquisite detail about PFD's and that he should try them on since he had to be comfortable in it for many hours every day. I even did the research and provided links to 3 or 4 models that should have worked. I explain that without a properly fitted PFD of the correct type we could be prevented from launching. I even offered to buy for him if he didn't want to deal with it and I would take one for the team and keep it as a spare.

Pick him up at the airport and what does he have? A brand new O'Neal water skiing vest. I'm pissed because now we have to go through the drama of finding him something off the shelf in whatever gear store's happen to be between point A and point B.

I ask him if he even bothered to read what I had sent out and his answer was that it looked like too much work to go through so he just went to the nearest Outdoor Super Center in central Ohio and asked the pimple faced kid to pick out a "life jacket" that would work for a multi-day western river trip.

Luckily I bumped into a buddy as we were pulling out that just so happened to have a PFD big enough laying in the back of his truck, which is amazing since said buddy is about 4 sizes smaller than mister "It was too much hassle to read."


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## LSB (Mar 23, 2004)

3.1 Purchase your own guidebook and dont expect to borrow mine


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## mattman (Jan 30, 2015)

2tomcat2 said:


> # 18: Wash your hands, wash your hands, wash your hands



" I wash my hands in the morning, I wash my hands at night, I wash my hands in the afternoon, it makes me feel alright, I wash my hands in time of piece, and more in time of war, I wash my hands, before I wash my hands, and then I wash some more!..." 

Never really understood just how important this is, until running the GC, it sure beats Nora Virus!!


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## DarrylH (Mar 10, 2015)

mattman said:


> " I wash my hands in the morning, I wash my hands at night, I wash my hands in the afternoon, it makes me feel alright, I wash my hands in time of piece, and more in time of war, I wash my hands, before I wash my hands, and then I wash some more!..."
> 
> Never really understood just how important this is, until running the GC, it sure beats Nora Virus!!


Two of the trip rules we use are:
•	Mandatory hand wash station positioned at kitchen entry point – you don’t get in to cook, socialize, or eat, without using it. 
•	It’s really important to communicate who has been sick two weeks prior to launch – you don’t want someone ‘sharing’ a gastrointestinal illness – they shouldn’t be handling food or dishes.


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## [email protected] (Jun 1, 2010)

almortal said:


> 11. I understand that if I don't pull my weight and set up my tent before group gear is unloaded I will never be invited on a trip again.


 
When someone does the above. I like to use the location they picked as a guide to where the best location is for the groover. If he/she/they picked a crappy location for groover, we next try and determine if it will work for the kitchen and etc, etc.


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## kayakingphotog (May 25, 2007)

#19
A link to this thread.........


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## jonas_f (May 31, 2007)

11.1 sitting in a chair drinking beer, and laughing making jokes, while everyone else is setting up or breaking down group gear is grounds for immediate banishment from the current trip


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