# Getting the wife on board.



## nervouswater (Jun 3, 2008)

I've been kayaking for awhile and I am now looking at adding a raft to the fleet. However, I am hitting a little hickup and having trouble convincing the wife. How did you pull it off? Any advice for me?


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## KSC (Oct 22, 2003)

divorce


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## fiya79 (Feb 9, 2010)

2nd


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## bobbuilds (May 12, 2007)

don't start with the eagle, thats for sure. the upper colorado is a good beginer float and I would strongly recomend a friend or two to help coax her along the way. My wife knows me all too well to trust me, so i let my friends guide her and let her open up to it that way. we now have a good trust on the river, not to say we wont flip the raft or she will swim in her kayak, but it took the opinions of others to make it enjoyable. Don't push her, and be open to her thoughts even if you dont mind them.

I would gladly take you folks out on the rio this spring and let the woman talk, sometimes that is all it takes to build confidence. My wife now inspires others, i never thought i'd see the day. be patient and take 'er easy. groups work best, and we are all a little aprehensive at first.


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## gh (Oct 13, 2003)

Whatever it is, don't try to teach her yourself.


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## tbirk (Jul 1, 2009)

Just bring one home, it will work itself out one way or another! I have the perfect setup for you right here in Eagle. I will even give lessons and deliver the boat.


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## Don (Oct 16, 2003)

*Good for kids.*

It will be great to have if you ever plan on having kids.

Other than that Bob really nailed it. Find other couples to paddle with.

Take a raft trip with the wife (something low key and prestine); Eat along the river, have some beers, enjoy the entire trip(make sure she is never cold on the trip). Sell her on it by living it and not just explaining your desire to own a raft. 

Rafting is not going anywhere. You can get into it at anytime, and you are not missing out on anything by waiting (days, weeks, months) to buy a raft. There's no rush. If you buy it on her terms than you'll share it for life. If you force it on her (just show up with one). It will always be the other women, and don't expect a bunch of fun river trips in the future.

Work it right and you will make it happen.


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## Ture (Apr 12, 2004)

Maybe kayak a whole shit ton more. If you kayak all the time and you are never home then you can say to your wife, "Let's get a raft so we can be on the river together". If she really wants to be with you then the idea will sound great to her.

Or...

Take her kayaking and get her in over her head. Then say, "You know, rafting is a whole lot mellower. Maybe we should get a raft and do some desert floats."

I used a combo of these 2 methods and it worked great.


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## Theophilus (Mar 11, 2008)

gh said:


> Whatever it is, don't try to teach her yourself.


Best advice ever.


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## El Flaco (Nov 5, 2003)

Ture said:


> Maybe kayak a whole shit ton more. If you kayak all the time and you are never home then you can say to your wife, "Let's get a raft so we can be on the river together". If she really wants to be with you then the idea will sound great to her.
> 
> Or...
> 
> ...


Ditto.


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## leo_amore (May 30, 2006)

nervouswater said:


> I've been kayaking for awhile and I am now looking at adding a raft to the fleet. However, I am hitting a little hickup and having trouble convincing the wife. How did you pull it off? Any advice for me?


 We both kayaked, then we got a labrador, convinced her that the raft was for the dog....also don't forget that she can sip box chardonnay while sight seeing and camping in the best Colorado and the West has to offer....


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## Andy H. (Oct 13, 2003)

I think #8 could be a good way to accomplish #2.



> Whatever it is, don't try to teach her yourself.


Tritto

Other useful things: 

"Honey, rafting is like being able to go car camping in the wilderness."
Drysuit, neoprene gloves, booteies, helmet liner
Layover days
Margaritas
Gourmet food served in camp
Bring a thermos of hot tea along on all trips other than summer in the desert
Hot moist facecloths in the morning
Campfires with hot chocolate, smores, romance
Paco Pads
More connection time with yo Hunny


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## melted_ice (Feb 4, 2009)

If she doesn't like camping or drinking then forget it and consider #2.


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## possumturd (Jul 13, 2006)

*money*

Just wright her a check for a couple hundred $s every time you want her to go.


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## Bornwithatail (Mar 2, 2008)

*Just do it!*

As I always say, "Forgiveness is easier than permission." But I'm not married, either.


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## Jensjustduckie (Jun 29, 2007)

Wow, sausage fest here I see.

From a woman's point of view I'd say take her on a guided easy trip like the upper C or somewhere that she will definitely NOT swim on her first trip and something that is not roadside. What you need to do is gain her trust so she doesn't think that this will be a horrible investment that she will hate.

If she likes the raft trip and the general vibe of floating down a river you will most likely have a rafting partner for life. If she doesn't like it, well, you're screwed.

I agree with Andy, you can have a high quality relaxing time camping out of a raft so if she's a car camper you'll probably have an easier time convincing her.


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## logan.madlin (Dec 8, 2008)

What are you really wanting from her? 
If your wanted a pretty boat ornament...i mean who doesn't right. That just takes some clever bargaining or Do you want a CO-pilot that can take a raft down a few rapids while your fishing off the deck. 

Agreed Pay someone else to teacher her (guide school or swiftwater Rescue perhaps)...cause what ever you say is the worst idea but someone else, It's genius in their eyes. Try some big multi-day trips perhaps with kids around. Show her the future of "our" family and see what she thinks. At her own pace...agreed


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## SimpleMan (Dec 17, 2009)

The one time I had a girlfriend back in the eighties I loved the outdoor stuff we DIDN"T do together.


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## Toni (Sep 18, 2006)

logan.madlin said:


> What are you really wanting from her?
> If your wanted a pretty boat ornament...i mean who doesn't right. That just takes some clever bargaining or Do you want a CO-pilot that can take a raft down a few rapids while your fishing off the deck.


Perfect reply. Talk to her and be honest, playing games is lame. Discuss the possibilities. 

I do both, but love the captain's seat MUCH more. And my husband loves tossing his gear on the raft and staying in his kayak. The other cool thing about your own raft is not having to ask anyone about what you can bring...I'm pretty good at adding extra "bricks" to my drybag, but I'm the one who has to move them around.

Andy, your warm facecloth idea is AWESOME! Gotta say I loved waking up to that, especially when there was snow on the tent.


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## atg200 (Apr 24, 2007)

I did a summer Ruby/Horsethief trip with my wife and some really good friends, and she loved it and gave me the green light to buy a raft. More Ruby/Horsethief trips and a Deso trip and she was hooked. 

Then we did an October Westwater trip, and she froze and was scared. It took another summer of warm trips to get past that trauma. Last year we did the Grand Canyon and Cataract together, and now she probably likes it even more than I do. Start easy and in good conditions with good friends and it'll probably just all work itself out.


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## Scary Mc (Jun 15, 2004)

Buy the raft and deal with the aftermath. That's what I did, we split up the following fall and I now have a great GF who loves to raft.
Worked itself right out! ; )


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## Canada (Oct 24, 2006)

*hotsprings*

My then girlfriend now wife was getting into kayaking. Tried to find water where I couldn't foresee problems and partner that with hot springs. I'd try to think of some of the springs not occupied by naked yeti types as well.


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## eukwe (Feb 1, 2008)

I just bought the boat and it ended up costing me new furniture of equal value. She's never been on the boat. Just fine with me. I love separate vacations.


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## Kendi (May 15, 2009)

My husband wanted to boat so he took guide training and all was more or less ok. I got to take it the following year. He thought he was getting a good deal until I started becoming more interested in rafting than he was. I swear I could eat breathe and sleep rafting. Now he gets a little huffy because I get many more trips and invites than he does. 

Seriously though, let her see how much fun it is in a comfortable environment. She should come around.


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## dirtbagkayaker (Oct 29, 2008)

Put her on the sticks and let her pull the shaft. Thats all it took for me. She rows the pools and I row the drops. Great deal for me.. Oh, hey, I allways give a little extra back rubbing and pay more attention to my wife than my friends when I want her to play. And I never ask her to clean up after my messes on the river. I do everything and she loves it. When I make her number 1, she can't help following me around. Thats may trick that dad tought me a long time ago.


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## caseybailey (Mar 11, 2008)

Rent a boat. Invite your wife's friends. Do a warm, mellow flat water float. Your job is to guide, cook, and generally sacrifice yourself as a manslave for the trip. Encourage one of your wife's friends to do a "spa" day. (Sun shower, manicures, pedicures, all the different scents of doc bonners, sarongs, cocktails with umbrellas, etc.)


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## mommydevo (Jun 5, 2009)

Ok, I have to put my two cents in. If your wife enjoys the outside and has the tiniest sense of adventure, she'll love it. Borrow or rent one, do a nice, warm, float trip. Pack everything you can fit. Buy her a paco pad. Bring a crazy creek chair so she can be a comfy bow flower. Delicious food and cocktails, firewood. I was a big kayaker before I had kids, now I love the raft because we can all be together on the river. Car camping without the car, and the roads that get you there. Beautiful scenery, wildlife, sunshiney beers. An initial investment, but low upkeep after that. What more can a girl ask for?


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## possumturd (Jul 13, 2006)

mommydevo said:


> What more can a girl ask for?


Here is what my wife ask for: A hotel suite on the beach and an oiled cabana boy bringing her drinks.


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## GoodTimes (Mar 9, 2006)

I think Andy's got it right......convince her that rafting is like car camping....because it pretty much is....with a little more work. The LUXURIES!!

I got lucky, my wife was a kayaker before we met....so getting her into rafting was pretty damn easy. Now I have a hard time prying the oars out of her hands because she's so excited to get good at it.....which is pretty awesome....just means more kayaking and fishing for me!!! 

Don't do a guided trip....get some friends and do a nice, easy float with a few splashes on a hot day....have some drinks and good food. Keeping her warm is HUGE. Throw a few hints in there about how fantastic it would be to do a nice, romantic over-nighter with just the two of you on a full moon night.... and how you'll take some steaks, a good bottle of wine, and a monster paco pad. Done deal.

I don't necessarily agree with the "don't teach her yourself" thing. Maybe not kayaking, but rafting is do-able. I feel better letting my wife learn kayaking skillz from other women, but I/we have no problem on the oars. But maybe you're wife will be perfectly content riding the bow and marvle at her husbands awesomeness in dissecting the river (cause we all know chicks dig good oarsman).


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## Ture (Apr 12, 2004)

I don't think I'd go too overboard to make the first few trips seem like a Carribean cruise unless you like being someone's servant for every raft trip from here to eternity and praying every trip that the weather cooperates and nothing bad happens to upset your prince or princess.

I'd have the newbie help rig. Have them lift 1/2 of the raft rubber out of the back of the truck. Get them on the oars in the flat water, show them how to set up and take down the groover, get them involved to see if they like the real thing. Nobody wants to be on a private trip with someone who acts like a customer. I guess it would be OK if all you did was boat with your family but if you brought a high maintenance spouse along on a group trip that would be painful for the rest.

The last thing I want is to be in the boonies with things going wrong and I'm with someone who doesn't want to be there. If someone starts whining when things get ugly then they immediately go on my list and they are the one I'll hit in the head with a rock when we run out of food.


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## GoodTimes (Mar 9, 2006)

Ture said:


> I don't think I'd go too overboard to make the first few trips seem like a Carribean cruise unless you like being someone's servant for every raft trip from here to eternity and praying every trip that the weather cooperates and nothing bad happens to upset your prince or princess.
> 
> I'd have the newbie help rig. Have them lift 1/2 of the raft rubber out of the back of the truck. Get them on the oars in the flat water, show them how to set up and take down the groover, get them involved to see if they like the real thing. Nobody wants to be on a private trip with someone who acts like a customer. I guess it would be OK if all you did was boat with your family but if you brought a high maintenance spouse along on a group trip that would be painful for the rest.
> 
> The last thing I want is to be in the boonies with things going wrong and I'm with someone who doesn't want to be there. If someone starts whining when things get ugly then they immediately go on my list and they are the one I'll hit in the head with a rock when we run out of food.


There's definitely some truth to that!!! You have to balance...if a little bit of work here and there isn't in the cards.....then maybe the whole idea isn't (unless you don't mind doing it all yourself and refrain from group trips).


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## CUkayakGirl (Mar 31, 2005)

A bottle of Jack!!!!!!


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