# Slides are wack!



## Force (Apr 27, 2004)

yeah, ToddG and Crapodon hit it on the nose. 

On sunday, yule university graduated three out of a class of 8 and all graduating members agreed they would never come back it was so lame. Next I'll just go paddle in a pond.


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## WesternMD (Dec 5, 2003)

yeah, I hate sliding!! 
...........and sledding just insn't the same either! The jumps these days, are, just so much lame now that they used to be. If you really want to get noticed, sled in the woods!! sickness!


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## ACC (Oct 30, 2003)

umm, yeah slides are uber passe...

and, uh, correct me if I am wrong but those first two l-a-m-e slides look like:
1. landbridge
2. mike tyson's

but, I guess it really doesn't matter sinces slides are clearly inferior to the exceptional boulder garden mank that we CO paddlers are privileged to run so frequently...










yeah, slides suck


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## ToddG (Nov 29, 2003)

check your "literal" at the door on this thread please

total sarcasm

***

but yeah, that is tyson's, not anaconda. don't feel like editing tho. & energizer v. landbridge = i dunno, havn't paddled tox ... you kno better than me, so i guess it is.


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## GAtoCSU (Apr 18, 2005)

ACC said:


> 2. mike tyson's
> .



That second one is actually Mortal Kombat. But, who's counting. I had a buddy get stuck in the bottom drop on the RL side. It sucked. We pulled him out with a rope.

Scott


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## ToddG (Nov 29, 2003)

georgia -- sorry fella, i wouldn't really know .. see, my crew's been boycotting anything with a slide on it since, like, just before the late 90's .. & ravens only started getting run around then. i refuse to even watch video with slides. like Aerated, you know, it had that easy, not-fun-since-98 slide on the cover: WACK! oh, & just about anything in norway too cuz it's all off-vert. anyway, good drinking a beer with you the other day. 

acc -- nice addition! that pinch thing on BT is a great example of what we're talking about here.


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## asoutherner (Jul 10, 2006)

The second picture is Mike Tysons not Mortal Kombat or Anaconda.


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## marko (Feb 25, 2004)

I hear ya Todd. I went to Yule yesterday with that crew of eight. I was actually the 9th paddler, but didn't even bother to gear up. I took a look at the slides and decided to shoot pics instead because I just didn't even want to waste my time with such boring crap. The poor fellas that decided to run it had the worst time ever.


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## COUNT (Jul 5, 2005)

I don't care what you guys say. Slides are dope. You'd all agree with me if you showed up to the crazy Slip'N'Slide party at my pad tonight...but, ohhh, it's bikini clad ladies only. Sorry 'bout that.

COUNT


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## lotsawater (Nov 18, 2003)

I like to SLIDE down some hot panties, or SLIDE up my ladies dress, but SLIDE A KAYAK, now that sounds plain dumb to me!

SLIDES ARE EASY, espesially at the bowling alley!

I really don't like to let bullshit like this SLIDE BY.


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## slee (May 19, 2005)

now that i think about it....SLIDES SUCK! they are ok if they have vert in them like cherry bomb, zute chute, and even the avalanche slide so to some degree i disagree. but no vert, no go. from now on i'm done with dumpy rapids like autobahn on south silver and the slide below the avalanche slide on obj.

no more running: 
the source - it has a weak ass slide
cross - gay slides
upper jasper - gay ass class III slides (i may as well ass bong myself)
yule - dump
nfc - dogshit (i may have to walk the first from now on)
the green - off the list - don't forget power slide
obj, daisy, and upper east - are you kidding me?
anything in cali - i'll never go back

good thing big south does not have slides

from now on it's going to be nothing but throwing endless ends at golden or lyons

if you are running nothing but slides (and you know who you sliders are gary e)....YOU SUCK


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## dasunluva (Oct 13, 2003)

Yeah, when I walk out in my backyard and have the option of hittin' up the swing or going down the slide on the ol' playground set it's a no brainer brah, and a swing decision for sure. I mean I haven't went down that extremely stupid slide since like... '97 now that I think about! I should just burn the [email protected]#in' thing down! I gotta go, peace out...headed to the gas station for a lighter and a can of gas...


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## Kato (Oct 13, 2003)

All i've been doing is hitting up slides since i quit my job. You're right i wish i was sitting at a cubicle like you guys. that would be funner.


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## mike a (Dec 16, 2003)

I have Objective proof that slides suck. Just watch this vid of me on a lame ass slide a couple of weeks ago:

http://www.americanwhitewater.org/photos/archive/15126.wmv

Just try to argue with me now.


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## El Flaco (Nov 5, 2003)

Definitely a sweet beatdown.


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## GAtoCSU (Apr 18, 2005)

asoutherner said:


> The second picture is Mike Tysons not Mortal Kombat or Anaconda.


Not that it matters but I'm sticking with my first decision. Mike Tyson's is almost flat above the last drop and the drop above that has a huge (8'+) pillow on it on the RR side.

But, I could be wrong. That's the wierdest angle of that drop that I've seen. Most of them highlight the huge f-ing undercut that the RR side of the last drop falls into. 

I havn't been to the Raven in almost 3 years. So, memory could be fading.

Scott

On a side note.. Check this for video of it. http://www.lvmvideo.com/quicktime/Ravens_Fork_05.mov

The long one at the end with Tommy and John is Mike Tyson's. There is a good 30' of gradient above it to get to that entrance 10'er.


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## ToddG (Nov 29, 2003)

FWIW, the filename daniel had the foto saved as included "MikeyT's", confirming that it is in fact Tysons .. but that's neither here nor there. Let's try to tighten up here, gents. Sliding off topic is almost as booty as sliding on water-covered bedrock.


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## ACC (Oct 30, 2003)

*back on point*

more evidence that slides are only for class III posers:


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## Force (Apr 27, 2004)

this shit is to funny.


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## Goreman (Oct 18, 2005)

*Pinch = Lame*



ACC said:


> but, I guess it really doesn't matter sinces slides are clearly inferior to the exceptional boulder garden mank that we CO paddlers are privileged to run so frequently...
> 
> 
> 
> ...



That is Pinch on Big Timber in Montana. That slide is the biggest slide I have ever seen in my life. Which makes it the Lamest Fo Shizzle.

-G man
http://www.AutoBoofProductions.com


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## Cutch (Nov 4, 2003)

Big...but not as big as the third drop of the big 4 of Yule.


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## Caspian (Oct 14, 2003)

Southeastern class III:


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## kudzuyoung (Jun 16, 2005)

*raven's slide*

It is mike tyson's. Hell I should know, I named it.


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## GAtoCSU (Apr 18, 2005)

Is that you Ben?


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## GDalton (Nov 4, 2003)

*Slides...*

Wow, I knew I was pretty UNcool, but then I looked at this thread and found pictures of myself (on lame-o slides of course) in* two *or *three* different replies to this post. I must suck. Where did you guys get the pic of me in the Pinch from? Do I know you? See, I am lame AND confused.

Apparently I am slow too, since this post was just now brought to my attention. But I live back east, so there must be a time delay or something.

More stuuuupid slidey drops:

http://www.americanwhitewater.org/rivers/id/4410

...just to get in the spirit.

Super-steep creeks are so done. 

Gordon


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## ACC (Oct 30, 2003)

Gordon --

I found the pinch photo on the grateful heads website. We paddled the north fork of the tye and staton's a while back. I will be back in c-ville soon for school, hoping to get out and run a bunch of rediculously easy, class III, late-nineties type of runs out there this fall (e.g. Pauls...). 

Alex


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## Smokey Carter (Aug 31, 2005)

Slides above 30-footers are especially out-of-style. On another note, cow's piss can actually equal 500 CFS. Amazing. And Eagle County is cool......


http://www.mountainbuzz.com/album_page.php?pic_id=1132


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## craporadon (Feb 27, 2006)

*yep*

This thread is definately proving the point that slides are overrated activities. They make you feel really good cause their scary but take very little skill. I have run 75% of the slides which have been posted here and all made me feel really good cause I went flying down them real fast. They are no doubt overrated though and this thread has proved that point to the maximum. OBJ is not in the same league as the Big South, The Middle Kings is not in the same league as the Stikine. Slides are impressive on videos and pictures but are by far the most overrated part of creekboating. Also I have indeed taken several Class 3/4 boaters and sent them down The Pinch without even scouting. Just cause it makes you feel good does'nt mean it is'nt overrated[/u][/b]


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## ToddG (Nov 29, 2003)

on the contrary, this thread *proves* nothing, except that you make really stellar decisions. 


> I have indeed taken several Class 3/4 boaters and sent them down The Pinch without even scouting.


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## kurfothich (Feb 28, 2005)

*Re: yep*



craporadon said:


> This thread is definately proving the point that slides are overrated activities. They make you feel really good cause their scary but take very little skill. I have run 75% of the slides which have been posted here and all made me feel really good cause I went flying down them real fast. They are no doubt overrated though and this thread has proved that point to the maximum. OBJ is not in the same league as the Big South, The Middle Kings is not in the same league as the Stikine. Slides are impressive on videos and pictures but are by far the most overrated part of creekboating. Also I have indeed taken several Class 3/4 boaters and sent them down The Pinch without even scouting. Just cause it makes you feel good does'nt mean it is'nt overrated[/u][/b]


 Im so glad about your skills of picking out different kinds of rivers! OB is not like the BS because its like OB. and the MK is also no where near the type of river that the stikine is. bra ur comparing apples and oranges! every river is its own and thats why being able to kayak all of these rivers takes skill...any ****** can be the best slide runner in the world but thats like only being able to putt in a game of golf, theres alot more to it!


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## craporadon (Feb 27, 2006)

Is it just that you are so proud of the slides you have run that you can't accept they are the most overrated part of creekboating. They look great in photo's and video's too. Conduct a poll, I'm not tech savy enough to do it. They are indeed fun and make you feel really good. If you wanna feel good about yourself, go run South Silver, Big Timber or OBJ, If you wanna paddle the shit, go run Barrel Springs or Tumwater Canyon. Show someone a photo of you on a big slide and they are impressed, show someone a photo of you in Tumwater Canyon and they are'nt that impressed. There is no doubt which is more intense though.


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## ToddG (Nov 29, 2003)

you're kinda full of yourself, eh Tuffy?


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## blutzski (Mar 31, 2004)

craporadon said:


> If you wanna feel good about yourself, go run South Silver, Big Timber or OBJ, If you wanna paddle the shit, go run Barrel Springs or Tumwater Canyon.


Just on the off chance that you're serious. 

From AWA:
Tumwater Canyon:
The Wall:technical class IV+ boulder garden at lower flows and class V at higher flows. 
Chaos Cascade: It's class V at higher flows and class IV at lower flows. 
Perfection of Whitewater (POW): a class V at moderate to high flows 

I've never done Tumwater. Looks like a great run. But judging from the number of duckies and playboats in the pictures, it doesn't look to be in the same league as Big Timber or Yule. IV at moderate flows and V at high flows? Compare that to V/V+ at moderate flows and death at high flows. 65 fpm gradient? Yeah thats comparable to the Yule at 646 fpm and Big Timber at 720. 

I agree that big water is way funner than big slides but that's mainly because you get the rush without the pitons, pins, head gashes and shoulder dislocations. I'd prefer getting tossed for a few rounds in a monster flushing hole to face planting the pinch anyday
http://www.americanwhitewater.org/photos/?photoid=15126. Is this a vid of one of the class III boaters you took down without scouting?

Maybe if you were talking the North Fork at 5k but Barrel Springs? Come on.


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## mike a (Dec 16, 2003)

Hey you prick--I sent myself down that! Don't lump me and my lumps into this, I was just trying to prove how much slides suck! I'm trying to provide a public service here-and throwing myself at it pretty hard-and my skills get knocked. The humanity.

Oh, and btw, that was WITH scouting...


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## blutzski (Mar 31, 2004)

Sorry Mike, after posting I saw that you had already posted that vid of your beatdown earlier. Didn't mean to imply that you were a one of crapman's flunkies. I just can't imagine a class three boater fairing any better in that silly slide. Can't wait to get up to your area and take a beatdown of my own. I'd say let's hook up when I do but I'm afraid you'd send me into it without scouting as payback.


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## BKC (Apr 18, 2004)

Mike. Good to see you are still hitting it hard in MT. Definitely need to get up there at some point. Get in touch if you ever get back into CO.

Brian


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## steven (Apr 2, 2004)

i think barrell over 4-5k is pretty darn serious. the one time i saw tumwater at hi flow it was sick. i have run the north fork top 5, including nut, at normal flows and hound's tooth to banks at close to 6,000, and i wanted none of tumwater. those ratings seem to downplay it. must have been the hi water.


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## ToddG (Nov 29, 2003)

put a lot of water in anything & it can be scary. the gauley at 20K is scary. shit, the lower new at huge water scares me. but is that the true nature of the "run"? i'd say that the true nature of the "run" is judged by the conditions under which most paddlers paddle it most of the time. tumwater is paddled most of the time by class IV or aspiring class V paddlers. 

if you want to have a conversation around runs at flood, then have that conversation. but to say "tumwater is the shit & the middle kings isn't", when what you really mean is "tumwater at flood is more intense than the MK at regular flows" is weak. 

re barrel springs & tumwater, & the nf, for that matter .. those runs are all roadside. barrel is less than a mile long & practically in a town. the MK & other remote low-volume creeks, at reg. flows, might have easy slides & be less "intense" in terms of being pushed around, but being boxed-in with mandatory unscoutable rapids requires a different (but related) skillset & level of mental fortitude all its own. 

in the end it is about fun & feeling good about yourself, whether its slides or big water or flatwater cartwheels .. i take that back .. flatwater cartwheels are never fun. but anyway, there's no need to choose between them if you like it all.

last, i realize i got trolled in my own troll-y thread, by the guy i was trolling. dang! but crapo, i'm onto you. between your 2 screen names, you left a lotta clues.


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## oopsiflipped (May 9, 2006)

> I've never done Tumwater. Looks like a great run. But judging from the number of duckies and playboats in the pictures, it doesn't look to be in the same league as Big Timber or Yule. IV at moderate flows and V at high flows? Compare that to V/V+ at moderate flows and death at high flows. 65 fpm gradient? Yeah thats comparable to the Yule at 646 fpm and Big Timber at 720.


pictures on AW are at ELF. have you seen the pictures of rig on AW? picture ain't always a thousand words......
maybe at 5k or more you wouldn't be so quick to disregard tumwater. 65 fpm is alot of gradient when it is pool drop and two thirds pool. the actual gradient in many rapids on tumwater surely approches 200fpm which with anything over 3k is nothing to scoff at, imho. try tumwater at 15k and see if it isn't deadly.the highest i've ever run tumwater was a lowly 1200 cfs, still higher than the pics your dissing. and while your talking shit about duckies, have you seen the lvm footage of them on the little white or the green truss.


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## Deputizer (Jun 6, 2006)

I can pee way further than any of you bitches, so I believe that ends the who is tougher debate.


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## blutzski (Mar 31, 2004)

Not if I'm peeing my pants while sliding an 80 footer on Yule!


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## craporadon (Feb 27, 2006)

Todd G, I only have one screen name, actually I just entered the world of WW chat about 3 wks ago, it's crazy how fired up people get on this thing. I agree though that Slides are sweet, and the Middle Kings plain rules, the whole Sierra's rule for that matter, I just figured smack talking was what this chat world was all about and slides are the easiest thing to make fun, other than Routt county pussies. Its fun to see people take these things so seriously. I guess I never knew this world of chat existed because I was always out paddling, now I have an office job and a computer in front of me so all I can do is talk smack. Gonna try to get on the inner crystal this afternoon for a big slide down zute chute, so I guess I gotta give props to slides. peace,


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## Deputizer (Jun 6, 2006)

Only those who concede are pussies. You better watch your back Craporadon, because the RCRE has their eyes on you.


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