# Gapers swarm the slopes...



## chadmckenzie26

:lol:


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## FLOWTORCH

Heyyy, that used to be our word for them now they're using it. I want it back. Wonder what gapers has to say about this...


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## sj

is'nt that like pooping in your bed? I don't get that. I am guessing there will bre an opening in Marketing shortly  . sj


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## paddlebizzle

Dempsey - 
Vail should pay particular attention to the Thanksgiving crowd demographic: 
Gaper Gap (that space of exposed skin between goggles and hat/helmet)
Starter Jackets
Scotch-guard jeans
Fogged goggles
Rental boots

Gapers have no idea that they're gapers. Watch them carry their skis/boards to the lodge, click into bindings, load the lifts, etc. You want to help them but it's so goddamn funny that you decide not to just so you can have another story to laugh over with your buds at the bar.

To my knowledge, skiing is the only sport that this "gaper phenomenon" is so prevailent, meaning that said gapers have NO IDEA that they are gapers.

At least beginner kayakers KNOW they look like idiots. Same goes for surfers, bikers, etc. But for some reason, the tourons who hit the slopes are oblivious. Must be the lack of oxygen.


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## heliodorus04

What is a gaper and how do I camouflage myself so as not to be seen as one (even though I probably am one, with my second day on the mountain being Friday...)

I'm all about jumping through the buzz hoops of coolness...


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## WhiteLightning

gaper

\Gap"er\, n. 1. One who walks around with mouth open or agape out of confusion, amazement, a feeling of being disoriented, or impared ability to breath, usually accompanied by a blank stare indicative of leaving your brain at home.

2. Derogatory slang term used by locals in mountain resort towns to describe clueless zombie-like tourists who can be identified by such visual markings such as "gaper gap" (helmet or hat sitting back on head such that a strip of skin appears between headwear and ski goggles), starter jackets, blue jeans as ski pants, anything bearing the U of Nebraska "N" (mistakenly meant to stand for "knowledge"), rear entry boots, long skinny skis sporting the word "equipe" on them, golashes, one piece ski suits (see "*** bag"), stretch pants, real tree camo, or hats with antlers/dinosaur features/felt dreadlocks/dr. seus imitations, etc. ad nauseum.


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## BrianK

what about dayglow


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## cecil

don't forget matching his and her's skiis, and rental gear of any kind...


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## WhiteLightning

P. Biz, 

Actually I DO have to help them all as I am doing guest services at Beaver Creek on Sundays. I guess it isn't that bad.


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## gapers

How dare these Fools try and sully my good screenname. 

Heliodrus-you're hopeless. So i'll give you some rules to live by.

Rule #1 Dont ever say (aloud) that your from Texas by way of California or vice versa for that matter. You may as well tuck your bluejeans into your rented boots and poke me in the eyes with your fucking skis over your shoulder.

Rule #2 Dont ever tuck your pants into your rental boots and poke me in the fuckin eyes!

Rule #3 Mind the gap

Rule #4 Don't ever pay full price for lift tickets.

Rule#5 Dont buy pieces of shit from Sniagrab

Rule#6 Dont do your big mtn ski turns on the goddamn catwalk.

Rule#7 Dont slap your goddamn board on the ground while standing in a lift line to get the snow off of it!!??

Rule#8 Dont straightline pow. Matter of fact, dont touch that shit, thems is mine.

Rule#9 Newby, come see me personally for a private consultation.

Rule#10 Dont ever let me catch you with a F'n jester hat on!!!!


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## 217

dayglow is cool. 

I can tell gapers by four additional criteria

#1 any group that arrives in buses marked with an out of state school/church name on the side

#2 generally their equipment has found its way to being scattered throughout a batch of trees by a local.

#3 anyone who can't identify or takes offense to the "strange odor" that seems to be coming from the chair in front of them. 

#4 multiple lift tickets flapping in the wind from the same person.


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## Hammer

Helio - a few other things to help you identify and stay AWAY from other Gapers...

Anyone with an "earband" (the women with ear bands are easier to identify, as they'll have sprayed bangs sprouting out and over the top)

Anyone who looks like they're going to prom directly from skiing ie full makeup and big jewelry

The use of non-mountain issued radios.
Example: You're standing in the lift line and Chuck from Texass starts talking to his wife Rita, via a little yellow and black "walkie talkie", three rows back about how he "got air" on a jump on this really "steep" blue that seemed way more like a "black" and it sounds like surround sound because they're so close to eachother.

Anyone who wants the "bar down" and then starts to panic half way up the mountain about "raising it up" in time to "unload"

Any person that complains on the way up about how much they hate the snow that given day, and that the groomed runs aren't very "groomed" (this would be due to falling snow and powder, but don't try to explain, because the don't know what that is)

Anyone with fur of anykind, fake or real, attached to any part of their ski gear.

Anyone who ski's from one side of the run to the complete other (especially in moguls) and looks like they might just shoot of into the trees before making a very tenitive turn back the other way

Anyone who acts confused when you jump in from the singles line, like they're not sure what you're doing or why you're about to ride up with them. Extra note of caution: do not tell said people you're from Colorado, they'll ask you the worst kind of questions the rest of the way, best to pretend you speak French and look away.

Anyone who asks at what altitude "do the deer turn into Elk?", just punch these people in the face and consider it community service

Good luck.


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## dwk

A tip for summertime identification:

Anyone lounging in the middle of the river on a swimming pool raft tied off to a tree who asks if you just paddle back up to your car when you're done.


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## ACC

*you know you are a gaper if...*

anyone who looks at your skis and says "wow those are awfully big skis, do they actually work for the whole mountain or just in the powder?" 

Or anyone who points to the nearest freeheeler and says "gee, look at that person cross country skiing down the mountain."


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## Delbert Grady

> #4 multiple lift tickets flapping in the wind from the same person.


Ah, I see you are familiar with the *Gaper Rolodex*


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## BrianK

here are more summertime gaper questions to ask your raft guide these work best if you are from a church group who won't tip.

Can you make the rapids easier/harder?

We don't have to paddle when we get in the rapids do we?

Do we take out where we put in? or even better Does the river go in a circle?

and my all time favorite besides the aforementioned deer into elk question
stand next to your guide by a flowing river in colorado in June and ask:
Which way are we gonna go?


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## 217

my favorite thread in the history of the buzz.......just like ******* jokes only funnier.....

-aaron


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## johnny portage

I think I first heard the word gaper in the early 90's.. of course I could barely read then. How old is the word? Help me out if you've got old b's.

-jp


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## ryguy

"where do they store all these moguls in the summer?"


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## twitch

*Gaper Suit*

Dayglo IS Cool!!

http://store.christysports.com/cata..._snowboard_pants/686_mens_gaper_rad_one_piece


And of course...Gaper Hunter: 

http://www.gaperhunter.com/

Aaron - are you going to join us for Gaper days in the Butte? Drop me an email


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## WhiteLightning

My favorite question at the Vail visitors center (huge floor to ceiling windows framing the ski runs of Vail mountain).

"Where is the ski mountain?"

The one that absolutely killed me though was when some drunk frat kid from the front range (no offense to FR, at least not you guys on here) was talking shit to me on the town bus. I had just heard him talking about going back to his mom and dad's ski condo, which of course makes him a "local". He said something to me like "go back to Texas" when we were arguing. WTF!? Anyways, just becasue your parents own a weekend ski retreat, or you live in LoDo, or you drive up from FR with the other cattle on Saturday morning does not make you a "local" of the town you are visitng for the day. No offense, but we get really cranky having to deal with gapers and FR frat boys, so please be nice to the locals who have to put up with all the B.S. every day, or you might go home missing a few teeth. And pleeeease, if you get confused in a round-a-bout (you too Denver!) don't stop in the middle, just keep going around and around until you figure out where you want to go! And don't get in the left lane to take the first right out of the round-a-bout.

Anyways, wannabes with attitude are waaay worse than gapers. Usually most gapers are at least friendly.

Also, if you are taking a winter off from college or after college to be a ski instructor/liftie/concierge/etc, you are still just on a really long vacation until you've hung around through the off season.

On that note, I better get some work done... It is starting to snow, and it looks like we'll be getting more tonight. Might need to take a 3 hour lunch break and hit the hill...


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## newby0616

Wait, wait, wait---

Hold on just a second here... I know I'm jumping in on this thread a little late and all, but how the f&%$ did *my* good name get dragged into this whole gapers discussion, Gapers??!  LOL

BTW, as long as we can drag that FLOWTORCH guy along with us, I'm all about hitting ya' up for that personal "consultation."


- Newby
written from her bland, boring office in Brentwood, TN, while swaddled in shamelessly-gaper-pink North Face denali (though that one-piece suit above.... wow.... I'm at a loss for words! :shock: )


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## WhiteLightning

Gaper mask, preferably worn with down puffy coat when it is 65 degrees in April. (This photo is Newby's boy-toy taken at Gatlinburg ski resort in TN)


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## BastrdSonOfElvis

whoa, north face jacket in TN, huh. I can see that. TN can be extreme in the winter.

some gaper geography:

there are two places to ski in western NY near Buffalo if you can believe it...maybe 500 feet of vertical each (and that's being generous) it's where I learned as a kid before I moved to new england and at least had a bigger hill to slide down the ice on. I guess almost everyone on those NY hills was a gaper--except the brobras and the dudes that thought they were extremeskiers because they hucked off of some weak kickers. They were by far the most annoying. 

Anyway, there exists a special breed of gaper there...perhaps they exist here in smaller quantities, but in western PA/NY the hick culture of deer huntin' is so pervasive that almost fully a third of the turdburglers on the hill would be in some variation of blaze orange. Snowboarders would wear not snowboarding boots (with their rental) but shit kickers. There were of course as well a proliferation of Bills and Stillers starter jackets...those were the folks that could afford such status symbols. But everyone was more concerned with keeping their cigarette/swishersweets lit and swillin some sort of cheap brandy from a flask than really skiing anyway. You can see why I left, never to return.

Vermont on the other hand has a gaper culture all its own. These are wealthy people that venture up each weekend from Boston or Providence or the wealthy towns in CT which is almost all of them. The come in their audis and beemers and volvos and benzes and land rovers, newest skis proudly displayed on top. And then you see them on the hill in the most expensive ski attire they could find...pizza, frenchfry, pizza, frenchfry...

So you see, Coloradans, it could be worse.


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## newby0616

Actually, BSoE, it's more because our office believes in running the AC in winter than because of the extreme conditions outside.... it was 32 this a.m., with river gauges dropping, and rain forecast agains for the weekend! We were thinking about hitting up Catalootchee (Maggie Valley, NC) this wknd, but with rain and temps in the 50's/ 60's on the maps, looks like we'll be trading out for boats instead! 

I feel for y'all with your cute little 3-month snowmelt season out there....  (but admittedly, am a little jealous of your "real" snow and slopes covered in something other than a solid sheet of ice)


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## FLOWTORCH

ah-hah, this is some funny shit. But WL dont be a hater cause you live in Male Valley and I'm down here on the FR steezin the one girl you talk to. Just cause you moved up there doesn't make you all that local either. And leave poor newby outta this, she's just a wittle girl.


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## MPEARSON

OK - HERE'S THE PROBLEM

I HAVE A GAPER GAP!! IT'S A SMALL ONE, BUT THAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU HAVE A FUCKED UP HEAD.  HEY LIGHTNING HAVE YOU EVER HEARD SOMEONE ASK? HOW DO YOU GET TO THE BOTTOM? THATS MY PERSONNAL FAVORITE!! HEY NEWBY YOUR BOY LOOKS LIKE A RACER - IS HE SUPER FAST? :shock: 

HEY LIGHTNING WHAT'S UP WITH THE HUMMER ON TRACKS IN VAIL - IS IT THAT BIG OF A PIECE OF SHIT THAT REGUALR TIRES JUST WON'T DO IT. ALSO WHAT HAPPEN TO VAIL'S FREE PARKING?


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## heliodorus04

So let me see if I'm understanding this:
Having looked at gaperhunt.com, it seems that the 70s disco fashion designers weren't plunged into the Hudson river as they deserved, but they started designing bad ski clothes? 

I'm glad I chose a nice, indistinguisable gray for my snow attire, and no felt-dread beanie. I wear a helmet - I'm accident prone...

Is it "Gaper" to wear a little backpack on the hill for my jacket if I get too hot?

Shamefully, my boots'n'board are rented for the season, but there's a certain logic to that (to me at least)...

I'll make sure not to show any forehead between my goggles and helmet...

And I'm no longer from Texas via California. I'm from Germany (circa 1775)... Ja...


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## WhiteLightning

Haha, no worries. Yeah, I'm a poser local too. I used to have to go down and poach the FR women, but now I have me a nice lady from the Male Valley (she doesn't have a dong, either). I pretend to be a real local by association, her grand mother was born and raised in cabin up here, she's like 3rd or 4th gen.

Anyways, you know I'm not hatin on the 303s, just the annonying "brahs" as BSOE calls them. 

-d


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## WhiteLightning

Yo Pearson, I've seen that. Was it the Yellow Lakota River Guides Hummer? They shuttle gapers, er, tourists up to Piney Lake, a ways up a logging road in the winter. Those tank tread things are pretty bitchin, I'm supprised that people in Cherry Creek aren't sporting them on their Hummers yet.

Free parking in Vail you say?! Only in summer, if you are taking about the parking structure. There are some outlying areas at trailheads, and parks and stuff where you can park and ride the bus. You can park on the road in front of Safeway in W. Vail and ride the bus, but I think only F-Sat. Frontage Road is only available once the pay lots are full.

Here's the secret map of free parking (but not very convieient)

http://www.vailgov.com/docs/dl_forms/eastwest_012705.pdf

You can buy an annual parking pass for like a $G or something for the parking structure (not recommended!)

I don't even hardly go to Vail for this reason any more. I can park for free at the Beav and ride a bus up like 5 minutes, or the Arrowhead lift has free parking, and I live 5 minutes away. There is some really good lift accessed/hike-to backcountry from the Beav (I'm still learning, so I don't have all the info, but use Avy gear, even if it looks friendly and has tracks on it).

Edit> P.S. In the structures it is free for first 90 minutes (or something like that) and free after 5. If you party in the village, find a cop (they're everywhere), and they will give you a free pass to leave your car overnight till 11 for free, otherwise you must drive drunk (please don't) or pay $16 (also bad option) or whatever the rate is.


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## FLOWTORCH

Shooot, I'm reppin the 970. What set you claimin fooh? 970, right? I'm local by set affiliation. 

uhh, I'm feelin sick again....in my mouth......just had this vision of myself lookin like a park-n-pipe gangsta wearing doo rags on their face and feet like you over there on the TGR forums. WTF gives with that!?! 

Man, I could go on forever about this subject. Heres another disturbing trend with the filmer-brahs: the bomb drop! Anyone else tired of these? Talk amongst yo'selfs.

And what about this new movie, First Descent?? Cant tell if i like it or not, theres definitely some amazing shots in it but corny as all hell. Anyone see the trailer? You hear the heli pilot "this is as far as we go" blahblah. Plus I can only imagine the scene at the theaters, esp. here in the FR.


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## FLOWTORCH

utt-utt, hey....shhhh bout the Beav.


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## WhiteLightning

I don't know any specifics, remember?

:twisted:


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## newby0616

Oh, PUH-leeze, FLOW!
If you're reppin' anything, it's the 217 of *rural* IL..... you go on talkin' your big game about mine and WL's gaper status, but I'm CALLING YO' AZZ OUT.... you're just as guilty as the rest of us, ya' transplanted b!tch!


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## WhiteLightning

sweet, I found my helmet head phone thingies. I'm going to go rip some gnar blues on the Beav, I'll let y'all know how it is.


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## WhiteLightning

He didn't say I was a gaper did he??? Ok, I'm out to ski a couple hours, for real...now where the hell is my Jester hat...oh, it is stuffed in my Starter coat. 

Davecrest OUT!


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## FLOWTORCH

What was it, the wittle girl comment 

Yeah, I didn't call him a gaper, a transplant maybe but then again I wasn't braggin on being a Fort Collins "local" either, but I've put up with Boulder/Fort for some 6 years, I'll claim all I want. And keep quiet, we've almost givin up my full phone number. :shock:

ps. you're off my middle fork permit now, smily face that ya beeyatch.


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## newby0616

Fine,
You're cut off the next time I'm out.....

Who's not smilin' NOW??


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## Phillips

What does fogged Goggles have to do with being a gaper? If you would have said fogged vuarnet's I'd understand. I personally carry an extra pair of goggles when I ride because mine always fog. Chances are if you ride powder, you are doing so under somewhat moist conditions. Yer sheot is gonna fog if your a sweater like me. Go to steamboat on a powder day. . . you'll sweat (unless your a mtn. goat, right Baker?)


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## ACC

come on phillips, you've got to get a set of "turbofan" goggles so you can just turn the fan on when you goggles become "moist." Then people will definitely know you are not a gaper. j/k. 

I can't wait till the 21st, I'll be homeward bound, we'll have to ski. You all better be gettin some this weekend, though, because if NOAA has anything to say about it, it's gonna be snorkel time....


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## WhiteLightning

Hi all, back from skiing. Snow isn't actually too bad, visibility is pretty low, and I'm skiing like a gaper thanks to out of shape and too tight boots. Anyways gotta answer e-mails and phone calls and pretend like I've been working all day.

Hey Flow, dibs on your middle fork permit now that Newby is fired.

You guys have foggy goggles?!! GAPERS!!!! Just kidding.

I'll let you all know how the snow is tomorrow when I get done in the morning and get back to work. Until then..

Davecrest OUT!


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## WhiteLightning

Looks like tomorrow will be a powder day!

/O.CON.KGJT.WS.W.0004.051201T1900Z-051203T1300Z/
ELKHEAD AND PARK MOUNTAINS-GRAND AND BATTLEMENT MESAS-
GORE AND ELK MOUNTAINS/CENTRAL MOUNTAIN VALLEYS-
WEST ELK AND SAWATCH MOUNTAINS-FLATTOPS-
INCLUDING THE CITIES OF...COLUMBINE...TOPONAS...SKYWAY...ASPEN...
VAIL...SNOWMASS...CRESTED BUTTE...TAYLOR PARK...MARBLE...BUFORD...
TRAPPERS LAKE
1158 AM MST THU DEC 1 2005

...WINTER STORM WARNING REMAINS IN EFFECT UNTIL 6 AM MST
SATURDAY...

A WINTER STORM WARNING REMAINS IN EFFECT UNTIL 6 AM MST SATURDAY.

SNOW WILL INCREASE IN INTENSITY AND BECOME WIDESPREAD TONIGHT. PERIODS
OF SNOW WILL CONTINUE THROUGH FRIDAY NIGHT *BRINGING ONE TO TWO
FEET OF NEW SNOW.* IN ADDITION TO THE SNOW...SOUTHWEST WINDS
RANGING FROM 20 TO 35 MPH WILL CREATE BLOWING AND DRIFTING SNOW
ESPECIALLY OVER RIDGE TOPS AND EXPOSED AREAS.

A WINTER STORM WARNING MEANS SIGNIFICANT AMOUNTS OF SNOW...ARE
EXPECTED ALONG WITH STRONG WINDS. THIS WILL MAKE TRAVEL VERY
HAZARDOUS OR IMPOSSIBLE.


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## Surfpimp

Newby we are really going to need to see a picture.  
I don't give a damn if it is fake, just make it hot!
Newby you can come stay with the real players in the SW CO. We don't roll like the metrosexuals of the FR.

All of you truckstop skiiers are the gapers.

I'm suprised that yeti hasn't posted any pics of lines he is thinking of skiing. He would say he's a black diamond sleder or something, then go and rate all of the blues as black-.




...Lake Fork IV+...what a pussy. :roll:


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## newby0616

I think you guys with the "foggy goggles" just found a way to absolve yourself of all that cumbersome gaper-dom:

http://sports.yahoo.com/ski/news?slug=ap-mensworldcup&prov=ap&type=lgns

Hey, if Bode Miller's got foggy goggles, I'd say it's prolly okay that you fellas do, too. 

And SP, thanks for the invite.... right now, my boy FLOW's the only one here with any goods on me, but he keeps it up with the bullsh!t permit-yankin' threats :shock: , and it just might be *your* basement I end up staying in next time I'm out in CO instead!


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## WhiteLightning

I just got back from there, I saw all those foggy goggled gapers like Bode and company all over the place.

My goggles didn't freeze, either and I'm a big sweaty dude!


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## BastrdSonOfElvis

Ski goggles are for gapers, yo. The real deal wear speedo swim goggles on the slopes. At least that's what I'm rockin'. $15 at GART.


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## newby0616

Wow, that's pretty hot, WL.... :shock: 

... I don't even know what else to say to that! LOL


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## gapers

Too late brah's, FLOWTORCH already snagged her up when we was home in the 217 for Thanksgiving. Best go find you're own ********'s down there in SW Colorado. Must suck being surrounded by gear queers and outback driving lesbians out there. Frontrange aint lookin so bad now. Especially since my girly can find a real job down here that hooks me up with free lift tickets to the boat. What-what!!! 

Back to gaper bashing, you all bring up some very good points that i left out. The gaper rolodex was priceless, mind if use that? Man, i had to ride up in the gondola with a bro-boarder frat boy from CU the other day, damn kid didn't even smoke up with me after i offered, pffft, Fine-more for me to chief on, i guess. The best was when FLOWTORCH and i was riding A-Basin that day they closed I-70 overnight, well we got stuck on the top lift in some fuckin blizzard, whiteout, serious vertigo shit. They shut down the mtn and let us get in the lift tower at the top. There's one other Gaper in there wearing a freakin hoodie, talking about "Man, i've been riding here for 15 years and i've never seen it like this". Long story short-we had to practically walk this kid down with the two lifties that tagged along. You'd think this Denver kid could snowboard after 15years, but what the hell do i know. He had to jump on the sled half way down and ride with the lifty and avy dog. Poor kid, and they found out that his buddy was lost in the whiteout and managed to locate a tower with a phone on it to call and say he was lost. 

Newby, i got a ducky round here that you can pilot on the MF if you get your act together in time. From what he tells me, your quite the lil hottie. If you thought blowtorch was fun you obviously aint seen his better half yet.

OOh, has anyone seen that sick one-piece that, i dunno-i think 686 or someone like that makes? Its called the gaper. Its a fuckin rad, neon suit and is actually called the gaper. It even has a small ***-bag waistband. It was being sold for like 150$ They had several of them at outpost sunsport in Ft. Fun. That shits almost worth it just for the hysterics.


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## MPEARSON

Excuse me - does anyone know of a good spa to have my ass crack waxed?? :roll:

For the record I'm not a metrosexual from the front range.  

I forgot about this one. I was at Keyjoke a couple of years ago (I don't really know why I was there). I saw a boarder with a Arkansas license plate mounted between his bindings. SCREAMING GRAPER!!! I ask him about it and found out that he is Newby's boyfriend.
Just Kidding  

Hey lightning - about 4 years ago they had free parking, but it held about 50 cars and a couple of goats. I do perfer the beav or Vail just because of the parking bullshit. My 3 year protest is still being heard. :evil:


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## gapers

Damn, some serious jealous boys on here. Don't hate cause you kids are 30 and still aint got no steez. 

Newby-now you know what its like to live in Colorado for most of these gameless fooh's. Its a sausagefest. Reminds me of some dickbreath that tried hittin on my girl at A-basin last year. Stalking a girl all day and then asking her if she wants to come see your van is not game. AHHH, must suck being single and gettin no ass. Luckily i wasn't there or i'd of had to stick my new size 13's in his ass right there on the beach.

Here's the gaper link.....if it works.

http://www.686.com/inside686/winter/gaper/


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## heliodorus04

Man, this is the funniest thread I've ever seen on the Buzz, and I'm a Gaper, even...

Wish me luck at Breck tomorrow... if you're there, well, you won't see me because I'll be ass-stamping the bunny slope trying to link together some linked turns.


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## COUNT

Foggy goggles definately aren't gaper. I think it was the last Freestyle World Cup Edgar Grospiron-yeah, the old time mogul skiers- won (not positive which it was though): after he skied his winning run he went down to the lift and totally clotheslined himself on the broad side of the maze. Turns out he couldn't see a thing and skied his whole run by feel. One of the best skiers in the world (won moguls at the last Olymics in France) wins a world cup practically blind and then is taken down in the lift line because of his foggy goggles!

Also, Beware: Many of the best skiers on the mountain enjoy dressing like gapers just for the humor of it (you can usually recognize the fakes because their shins actually touch the fronts of their boots. Tip: if you don't want to look like a gaper, don't ski in the back seat.).

Is the Male Valley Baker really out there? If you are, don't forget, you still owe me  .

COUNT


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## 217

thanks to surfpimp and the Front Rangers for reminding me what moguls are and how the color/shape scheme works......i seemed to have forgotten with all of the talk about degrees, gaps, hucking carcasses, pow, billygoatin, runnouts, straightlines, fat skis and chinese downhills that is the jargon of where i'm from.....big thanks! I'll now be able converse with my mom about skiing again!

-aaron


P.S. twitch....lets workout CB dayglow days in baltimore....my fart bag is ready and the herion addicts wont know what hit'um....


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## FLOWTORCH

Newby, did ya see surfpimps post, told ya 

Please pimp poser, my pimphand is strong, yours is broken. Keep quiet before I put you on the corner to make me some real money. Your gonna need that pic to keep you company down there in SW Colorado where the real players sit*eyebrow raise*???? I didn't know real playa's had to advertise. I'll let newb send you some new j/o fodder or I can just forward you the pics I took  Besides, I dont think she's into short little playboaters. 

WL-she's got a few more chances to make it up to me but I'll keep ya in mind for the permit.


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## BastrdSonOfElvis

Gapers is right...younz need to get laid. Bickering over a girl 2k miles away? Aren't there any sheep where you live? At least they're within dick's reach.

crude. Sooory, I'm down half a bottle of glenlivet. *hickup*


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## newby0616

So now you're implying I'm not *worth* "bickering" over, eh, BSoE??
Thanks alot.......


Nah, the bickering's entirely overrated anyway: I'll neither confirm nor deny any of the oh-so-subtle FLOWTORCH rumours swirling around this place lately , an' thas' all I'm saying on that--

And Gapers... the brahs' game ain't any better here than it is there. I think, if you're a chick, it just comes with the territory, no matter where you are-- <sigh>. :roll: If it's any consolation to your girl, I was followed-- as in literally followed, blocked in two friends' apt parking lot, and essentially cornered for about 20-25 min by a man who self-identified as a "boater"-- just the past wknd.... creepy sh!t.


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## chadmckenzie26

With all this FR Hating I think Newby needs to come to the Colorado Mountains and take a few for the team. :twisted: All I know is that the sheep are nervous :lol: 

For the record I have a "career". I have dreamed of moving to the mountains but only after I'm married. :idea: Women with more facial hair than me do not turn me on. I don't know what it does for you guys up there. It's all what your used to, I guess. 

Lastly, what with all this "gangsta talk"? Yo I'm form the mean streets of Vail Village ya' all. " The 970 represent". When was the last time you saw a black man up there? I'm not counting last year when Michael Jackson was there. You guys remember that right? :wink:


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## 217

chadmac....

I've noticed how insiteful you are over the course of the last few months. are you a college professor? if not, i think you should pursue this career. or maybe medicine? oh, i know, I hear NASA is hiring!

-aaron


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## chadmckenzie26

Aaron,
NASA would be a career choice. I would have the chance to use my brains, that you so graciously pointed out. Then again, I could aspire to do something totally brainless like head lift op. Not that there is anything wrong with that. As the saying goes, most people rise to their level of incompetence.


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## BastrdSonOfElvis

Michael Jackson's black?


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## mankster

growing up we used to play this game called "gay or foreign" in the lift lines. That was some funny sh#t, people would get pretty pissed with us, but most were cracking up too.


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## paddlebizzle

WhiteLightning said:


> I had just heard him talking about going back to his mom and dad's ski condo, which of course makes him a "local". Anyways, just becasue your parents own a weekend ski retreat, does not make you a "local" of the town you are visitng for the day.


Dempsey - you are killing me.  What does that make me, by the way? God, living in the "303" is giving me an ulcer. :evil: 

I think what differentiates you from one-season wannabes is if you are registered to vote in the county. Otherwise you're a prick choking up the lift lines on a powder day.

Here's another question - is Newby hot? She has a biting sense of humor , she's from the south, and she boats. I couldn't resist, sorry.


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## BastrdSonOfElvis

I thought we established a while back that she was really a dude?


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## gapers

I've been lucky enough to see a picture of the poor girls face, since she fancy's flowtorch. Yeah, i'd say she's hot. So, dont go asking for pictures of her now like some sorta internet perv/loser, cause i'm pretty sure she don't get down like that. God, its like a 50-1 sausage fest here.


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## polly

you know what is even worse than gapers swarming the slopes, is people like WL who move to Colorado less than 10 years ago, and than think they have the authority to bash on FR's. Guess what guys, before all you Easterner's decieded that Colorado is the place to be cool, this state was cool. The only people who really have a right to gripe are the Natives who have watched thier state become swamped with want-a-be mountain folk, who move to Summit or Vail and consider themselves the top authority on who REALLY belongs in the Colorado mountains. 20 years ago before all of you wanna-be's showed up, there was never lift lines, traffic, or jackass's like yourself clogging up OUR slopes. I bet you believe Copper Bowl has existed since the inception of the mountain, and Berthoud was a successful resort for many years before they closed it down. I'm all about laughing at Gapers because they are amusing, but don't foget YOU too were a Gaper not to long ago. The Gapers aren't the problem, nor are the true Natives who understand you don't have to live in the gay valley to really understand and appreciate the Colorado Mtns. It's all the people who have invaded our state than like to bash on us for not living in the tourist driven Summit and Eagle counties. Oh and by the way, any REAL Coloradan knows the true mountain gems don't exist anywhere near Summit or Eagle county. Get a clue before you bash on the Front Range Natives who have watched idiots like you destroy our state.
peace


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## 217

polly, you're American Indian? nice first post.....


-aaron


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## heliodorus04

That kind of exclusionary crap, Polly, is no different than racism in expression. "Those people"...

Saddens me a lot.
I love this state, and I'm not from here. I can't see myself leaving, when once I hated it. Now I know I'm right where I was supposed to end up, eh?

Saw a guy from Tennessee taking lessons at Breckenridge. He was polite. He appreciated what we have here. I told him "Welcome to Colorado, I hope you enjoy your stay..."

Teach people what we want our state to be like - that's all it takes to make the place better.

Breck rocked on Friday. I got my linked turns on the greens, now! Woot!


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## Andy H.

20 years ago I remember seeing 45-minute liftlines at Breck - now they've got high-speed quad chairs and all the folks are on the slope instead of in the maze. Yes, we were all novices at some time and its interesting to have Helio's perspective from the bunny slope. Hopefully he's taking lessons learning to board because misery loves company and its great to have other folks to go through those brutal first few days on a board with. 

I saw the funniest thing today - a snowboarder had a complete suit of brand-name snowboard gear and it was camoflage! Talk about "loser-chic." 

It doesn't matter whether you're linking your first turns on the greens or dropping into a chute somewhere as long as you have a good attitude - that's the important thing. 

See you on the hill,

--Andy

--Andy


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## WhiteLightning

Polly, I think you must have missed a big chunk of the conversation. A couple of points:

-I made fun of a front ranger who thought he was a local because his mom and dad have a vacation home here, not front rangers in general.

-I agree, I was a gaper once, and somtimes still am. I mean we all have a little gaper in us all, right? For God's sake, I was wearing a chef's hat today handing out cookies to skiers leaving a lift line. I'm not afraid to gape out sometimes! The things we will do for a ski pass... God knows I gape around LoDo not knowing where I am, same thing, right?

-I have lived nearly half my life in Colorado. I don't think Vail is the best ski resort, but I am make a living here, and have made it my home over the past 5 years.

-Nice first post. Most of us on this thread are familiar with one another's posts and know that it is all in good fun. We are bored, and are entertaining ourselves. Don't just jump in and be a boner to people without talking to them first.

-Finally, I hope this picture doesn't offend anyone, but I title it "Ladies' Night in the Male Valley"... Enjoy


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## BastrdSonOfElvis

I think I dated ewe...I mean her.


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## MPEARSON

Hey Flow,

Great sticker - it's a little bit of an understatement.


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## FLOWTORCH

yup-yup, but I can't take all the credit, that was newby's work, her design. Thanks newb


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