# women boater read this



## j83soldier (May 24, 2006)

ok, so i am offically done tring to get girls i am interested in into boating. I am understanding and really chill when tring to teach people to roll and boat and it always ends the same way. I think id have more luck boating a tandom canoe. anyway so i now am turning this site into a dating site. I want a girl that can already boat, one that can camp for longer than a day without a shower and one that wont check her texts every other minute while hiking. Anyone, come on there has to be cool outdoorsy girls out there


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## Geezer (Oct 14, 2003)

Sorry but she's taken and I got her.


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## Geezer (Oct 14, 2003)

Oh shit. One more post and now I hit the big 400. Woo hoo. :-D


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## cma (Dec 19, 2003)

Her name is Bob..


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## lhowemt (Apr 5, 2007)

If you want to meet a drunk, go to the bar. If you want to meet a woman that boats, go boating, go to the shops, check out what events there are where you might meet someone. Then, hold your breathe, ASK HER OUT. Don't be a dork and just "hang out", or any of that other bullshit where you're too afraid to make a nice "move". If you meet a woman that seems interesting, ask for her phone number (how surprising that would be!) and call her up to go boating, or go to dinner and talk boating, or whatever.

Just quit whining that you can't meet women that boat, go find them and then ask them out. You must know by now there are less than 10 "regulars" that are women on this forum, and public whining about women is a good habit to break. You never know when you'll be doing it at a put in and some new-to-town woman overhears you, and writes you off as a loser.


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## pinemnky13 (Jun 4, 2007)

I found one drunk on a river and then we went to a bar and got "sober":-D


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## catfishjon (Jan 27, 2007)

hear is your solution. find a girl that has no desire to learn to boat. then you dont have to try and teach her. find a girl that will drive your shuttle, hang out with your dog while you are on the river, and have lunch a cold beer waiting for you at the takeout. much cooler than boating the milk run and cleaning up yard sales.


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## jmack (Jun 3, 2004)

Hey soldier-

You need to understand that the discerning ladies of the paddling world need more than your selfish demands. They need chivalry. They need romance. They need poetry. Observe:

Roses are red
Violets are blue
We'll run the shit
And then we'll screw

See, it just that easy. Learn to be a gentleman like me and maybe you'll find the woman of your dreams.


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## j83soldier (May 24, 2006)

ahahaha jmack shakespere and emmersion combined could not of thought of such a moving piece of lituature. and wow ihowemet think u might be reading to much into my post one i am not whinning just stating experinces. get over it. and pretty sure i dont need advice on how to get a number. but thanks anyway. ill stick with the poetry passed on through this post. its everything a girl wants. romantic, touching and funny right????


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## jmrolak (Jul 8, 2008)

Keep looking there are lots of amazing river girls out there, and many of them boat better than a lot of men I have met. Be ready cause they may be able to teach you a few tricks.


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## lhowemt (Apr 5, 2007)

Riiiight, you don't need help getting a date. Wait, just one that boats. That's why you posted on the Buzz. To find a date. On the Buzz. 

I get it! You must really be looking for a guy to date and this was all code! 



j83soldier said:


> ahahaha jmack shakespere and emmersion combined could not of thought of such a moving piece of lituature. and wow ihowemet think u might be reading to much into my post one i am not whinning just stating experinces. get over it. and pretty sure i dont need advice on how to get a number. but thanks anyway. ill stick with the poetry passed on through this post. its everything a girl wants. romantic, touching and funny right????


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## producerchik (Jun 2, 2008)

What's the rush?


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## KimW (Sep 1, 2004)

*Really?*



catfishjon said:


> hear is your solution. find a girl that has no desire to learn to boat. then you dont have to try and teach her. find a girl that will drive your shuttle, hang out with your dog while you are on the river, and have lunch a cold beer waiting for you at the takeout. much cooler than boating the milk run and cleaning up yard sales.



Catfish, 
I couldn't exactly "here" what you were saying, but there are plenty of chicks around these parts that can hang without your help. I don't think this guy was looking for a shuttle slave.


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## duncleston (Jul 31, 2007)

Anybody else getting this thread confused with the other one?  *Colorado Women Kayakers Need Cash? $$*


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## Randaddy (Jun 8, 2007)

This is too funny. 

I would like to put in a request too. I would like to meet a hot 22 year old girl that loves to raft and is very generous in the bedroom. Must be well endowed, wealthy, and should have a motorhome. Condo ownership and wine collection are a must, preference given to girls with private jets. 

Oh, and you don't have to cook or run shuttle, but you should have some friends that are willing to. Threesomes can be occasional, but must be had. Also you should know how to shoot, fish, and drink whiskey. Not too much whiskey; I'll need a designated driver from time to time.

I'll respond to your PM as soon as I can. I expect that I'll have to wade through quite a few of these so please be patient.


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## wetdog (Mar 19, 2008)

jmack said:


> Roses are red
> Violets are blue
> We'll run the shit
> And then we'll screw
> ...


jmack that’s too funny, because I distinctly remember having a beer while sitting on the back of my truck after running Daisy when out of the blue who showed up…ah it’s your girlfriend with a sandwich made especially for you! 

maybe your poem should go more along the lines of:

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'll run the shit
And then we'll… go into the shuttle that you drove, eat the sandwich that you made me and look at the pictures that you took of me.

And by the way, I’m not complaining. I admit I was little jealous of the sandwich and all I had was a somewhat cold beer and a river funk smelling girlfriend (still slightly wet from dropping Big Wood). I just thought we should correct your poem a little.


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## GoodTimes (Mar 9, 2006)

Ahh hhahahaa.....this post is pretty friggen funny. I understand though.....seriously. After a few failed attempts at teaching and/or bolstering interest in this crazy little sport we all love so much....I decided to concede. I gave up. It would be better to just wait and see if I run into "her" in an eddy. You know how damn ridiculous that is??? Or even running into "her" at the put-in/take-out??? Seriously, this sport is 20/1....with ferocious vultures on every scene. I understand where this dude is coming from. Its frustrating when you want someone to enjoy all of this with and never have the (ideal) opportunity to meet.

It finally happened for me, I got a cool boater chick. But I sure as hell didn't meet her in an eddy or at the take-out.


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## kclowe (May 25, 2004)

*How to meet the boater chicks*

I can offer you a little advice from the chicas:

1. Wash your stinky gear and occaisionally take a shower.
2. Don't even think about asking for a shuttle unless you plan to return the favor.
3. Show up with a cooler full of cold beer at the takeout.
4. Load her boat on top of the truck. (not because she can't, but because you can).
5. Don't forget that she was already boating before she met you, so keep your advice to yourself.
6. When you are sitting around the campfire (most important rule), don't act like Mr. Badass! That's usually a turnoff (especially if you are not).

That pretty much covers it. Lots of Betties out there, but most of the boater dudes just can't handle number 6. Maybe that's the problem???

:roll:


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## DurangoSteve (Jun 2, 2006)

J83 takes beatdown after beatdown by the Boatin' Bettys. But will he get the message? Stay tuned for another chapter of MtnBuzz Dating Do's and Don'ts.


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## lhowemt (Apr 5, 2007)

GoodTimes said:


> It finally happened for me, I got a cool boater chick. But I sure as hell didn't meet her in an eddy or at the take-out.


Well, I met my husband skiing, but he had a hard time keeping up with me! I'd say that he did well because he understood the gist of #1-#6! Very good advice. 20 to 1? And you want one of the 1's? You better make yourself Mr. wonderful, and that kind of guy doesn't whine on forums.

L


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## pinemnky13 (Jun 4, 2007)

In response to #6, what happens if the guy is just a goofy bastard who can handle his own but occasionally falls off the his boat?


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## yakgirl101 (May 22, 2008)

Soldier
PM me your #. Maybe we can hang out.


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## DurangoSteve (Jun 2, 2006)

Holy Turkey Leg, Griff is gonna be pissed! The Schlitz is gonna hit the fan!



yakgirl101 said:


> Soldier
> PM me your #. Maybe we can hang out.


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## caspermike (Mar 9, 2007)

remember blow the whistle when anything strange or unexpecting happens


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## pinemnky13 (Jun 4, 2007)

hopefully soldier can hear the steam whistle!


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## DurangoSteve (Jun 2, 2006)

The Return of YakGirl is cause for a celebration! How about some illegal drunken boating?


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## caspermike (Mar 9, 2007)

i wouldnt post that steve she will go blowing her whistle to the cops.


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## DurangoSteve (Jun 2, 2006)

caspermike said:


> i wouldnt post that steve she will go blowing her whistle to the cops.


And they can pry the Frosty Can o' Schlitz from my cold, dead hands! The Return of YakGirl is big deal. The Buzzards are circling in anticipation.


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## caspermike (Mar 9, 2007)

yakgirl, whitechocolatte man what a good day. im going home and smoking a fatty. good luck getting a women soldier


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## lhowemt (Apr 5, 2007)

Wahoo!! Break out the turkey legs! I was sure this thread would turn into this! Schlitz is now one of the best "American Beers"


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## lhowemt (Apr 5, 2007)

pinemnky13 said:


> In response to #6, what happens if the guy is just a goofy bastard who can handle his own but occasionally falls off the his boat?


As long as you blow your whistle like a bad ass, then you're fine.

Edit- I'm not sure that really came out right in writing, but I'll leave it just for fun.:roll:


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## Grif (May 21, 2008)

Soldier, 

You can have that Yak Girl! She can't swim for shit, but she blows like a pro! The whistle that is...

And y'all quit makin' funna me! I likes me some pork, some turkey, and some beer. What's wrong with that? You're all just jealous of my bad ass outboard motor! Them rangers are gunna have a helluva time catchin' me when I'm boatin' drunk!!!!


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## DurangoSteve (Jun 2, 2006)

lhowemt said:


> Wahoo!! Break out the turkey legs! I was sure this thread would turn into this! Schlitz is now one of the best "American Beers"


The Second Coming of YakGirl was dee-vinely ordained. We must sacrifice the turkey at the the riverside altar, roast its legs on a blazing driftwood fire while dancing the "Electric Slide," then wash it down with copious amounts of frosty Schlitz. These sacrements are, uhm, *sacred*. Our religious freedom is being infringed upon by Godless state legislators who are trying to stop our Riverine Rituals.


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## caspermike (Mar 9, 2007)

amen


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