# Boofaholics Anonymous



## boof512 (Oct 26, 2003)

The first step in recover is admitting you have a problem.. Well done taking that first step. Now fall off the wagon and go boof something!


----------



## FLOWTORCH (Mar 5, 2004)

You are not alone in this battle of addiction. Stay strong. There is help available in the form of internet peer support groups and tunnel releases.


----------



## deepsouthpaddler (Apr 14, 2004)

Funny, but true in my opinion. If you told a addiction counselor about kayaking and exchanged the work kayak for drug, you would absolutely be diagnosed as addicted. I've got the boof fever too. Adrenaline junkie is a fitting term.

Riding home from paddling last night... one of my buddies mentioned that he didn't have any friends outside of his paddling friends. Response was: good, why would you want to hang out with some other lame people anyway!


----------



## smauk2 (Jun 24, 2009)

With all these online boofing videos it's impossible to escape it. Ever been caught boofing in public? It's humiliating.


----------



## RandyP (Mar 12, 2007)

I have heard they are haveing great results with a treatment of PBR in liberal amounts administered through a neoprene bootie. Although the study is not yet complete the treatment is showing some signs of sucsess although they are temporary at best at least it is showing some hope for the kayakaholic. Of course the consumption of mass amounts of PBR lead to others problems like the need for large amounts of turkey meat! Good luck with your boof remeber it's not gay..not that there's anything wrong with that!
RandyP


----------



## hullflyer (Aug 22, 2004)

I am an unabashed boofaholic. Why would I want to go back to pre-boofing flat water paddling,fight for a campspot on a permitted junkfest with all the other Class II-III yayhoos when I can run Class V boofing my way to bliss!? In your buzzard opinions what is the best boof in the state of Colorado? Best Boof for your buck. Most Boof's/ Mile? Best Boof anywhere? That boof on Heath Falls on the North Fork of The American looked like one of the best Boofs ever!


----------



## adgeiser (May 26, 2009)

My name is Anthony, and I am a boofaholic also. It has been 4 days since my last boof. I also have hurt the ones I love with this addition, mostly my beloved fluid solo.... but to a lesser extent my fiance. Everytime I boot off a rock and feel it gouge the bottom of my boat I always know that I should not have done that yet the addiction calls and the next pourover or barely covered rock I see I hit searching for that next hit of the beautiful "boof" sound. 
I have been a subject in the clinical PBR trials.... while not a waste of time. It has done nothing to curb my cravings for the next boot hit.


----------



## Jensjustduckie (Jun 29, 2007)

Hi Anthony!


----------



## bobbuilds (May 12, 2007)

Hi my name is bob and I too am a boofaholic, and it is getting worse for me. I have had many boofs this season, some were huge and some were shorted and landed on rocks. but the ones I am most concerned for are the ones I have set on fire. It is true, if you scorch it, it will smolder and smoke. I left off the NSV earlyer this year with boofs so hot the tops of the rocks were on fire, i did not tell anyone and now fear I might have some warrants and could be charged with arson and face prison time. I am here looking for help.


----------



## FLOWTORCH (Mar 5, 2004)

Hi Bob!


I know a place not too far from here where you can score about 20 boofs a lap, when there's water. There's also this place that goes by the name Crested Boof that has lots of them as well. Shhh, you didnt hear it from me. Christ, I'm such an enabler.


----------



## wasatchbill (Apr 9, 2007)

My favorite helmet sticker is "Go Huck Yourself" - is that a bad sign?


----------



## gannon_w (Jun 27, 2006)

You in here because of Boofing? BOOFING?

Bob Saget from Half Baked: "I Used to Suck dick for coke!" - YouTube

So what you done for a good Boof HUH?


----------



## mafro (Sep 17, 2009)

My boofaholism has taken a turn for the worse. I used to boof casually- I'd go out in the evening and boof a little here and there, no big deal. Then I was stuck in the Ark Valley in late April one time, where lets face it, there's nothing to do but scrape by on chunky boofs until all the hippies arrive and everything gets going around there. That was the turning point. My boofing appetite has become insatiable and I fear, my friends, it may be terminal. It's even worse for my friend Gorski. His boof has recently been shown to cause black holes. In fact, so potent are his boofs, that his stomping can cause someone to vanish out of existence elsewhere in the world, randomly. Scary.


----------



## boof512 (Oct 26, 2003)

*is this OK*

I appreciate such open sharing. I think there has been alot of heeling today. One thing I still struggle with is that sometime I boof with other men. I was raised to play with girls, you know soccer, baseball, all sports that guys and girls can do. But I have noticed that kayaking does not attract as many women and have found that the lack of women in the sport has forced me to reach out to my fellow man to take care of my needs.. to boof..
Is this weird?

thanks


----------



## FLOWTORCH (Mar 5, 2004)

Mafro, that is scary. He needs help. There is help available for people in this stage and nearby to you. They specialize in black hole boofers and fireboofing. Its called the Buena Vista playpark clinic. Its really nice, Ive heard.

..Get him the help he needs. 

Boof510..I knew it.


----------



## Flying_Spaghetti_Monster (Jun 3, 2010)

You need to move to the South East


----------



## boof512 (Oct 26, 2003)

*..*

Blowtorch... I have boofed with you... just sayin


----------



## glcasson21 (Apr 16, 2009)

Flying_Spaghetti_Monster said:


> You need to move to the South East


Boof512,
I second the Flying Spaghetti Monster's comment...go to the southeast if you need women to boof with. The waters are warm and the rocks are smooth but the boofs...oh the boofs are the best! Men, women, children...everyone boofs there. I fear that someday when i return to my home in the south, that it may be too late. Boofing is such a widespread addiction among all genders and ages...I may never be able to overcome my addiction if surrounded by all that.


----------



## gannon_w (Jun 27, 2006)

Allright, noone like my half-baked video...which was me trying to make lite of a situation I may still be in denial about. I boof but I have it under control! Ok I started paddling alone since I had weekdays off and everyone else was working. Well I found myself boofing alot when noone was around but that's ok. Then I got a roommate who paddles (Cindy as most know her). Well she was shy at first but warmed up pretty quickly. It wasn't long before we were both boofing. I'll have to call her out on this...she loves the Poudre. So we were often boofing the Poudre since that's what she liked and was comfortable. Then we got brave and started to video our boofing episodes and posting them online. In fact, you may have seen our low water video on whiteline. So now we were doing whitelines and boofing the Poudre!

Then I met some more people on the river and seemingly joined a "boofers club". Which is ok, I'm open about it. You know how you prefer boofing with ladies but accidents do happen...especially on a midnight run. It's dark and all and you might accidently boof a dude? Hey it's dark! It was free-spirited and everybody was open-minded and willing to share and create new experiences. Then it happened. I was on the Shelly's run when I saw this guy (Al) and the situation presented itself. I boofed him, in broad daylight. So now it seems like I boof with women or men. But I have it under control! I don't need help because I'm pretty sure I can stop whenever I want to...


----------



## smauk2 (Jun 24, 2009)

gannon_w said:


> Allright, noone like my half-baked video...which was me trying to make lite of a situation I may still be in denial about. I boof but I have it under control! Ok I started paddling alone since I had weekdays off and everyone else was working. Well I found myself boofing alot when noone was around but that's ok. Then I got a roommate who paddles (Cindy as most know her). Well she was shy at first but warmed up pretty quickly. It wasn't long before we were both boofing. I'll have to call her out on this...she loves the Poudre. So we were often boofing the Poudre since that's what she liked and was comfortable. Then we got brave and started to video our boofing episodes and posting them online. In fact, you may have seen our low water video on whiteline. So now we were doing whitelines and boofing the Poudre!
> 
> Then I met some more people on the river and seemingly joined a "boofers club". Which is ok, I'm open about it. You know how you prefer boofing with ladies but accidents do happen...especially on a midnight run. It's dark and all and you might accidently boof a dude? Hey it's dark! It was free-spirited and everybody was open-minded and willing to share and create new experiences. Then it happened. I was on the Shelly's run when I saw this guy (Al) and the situation presented itself. I boofed him, in broad daylight. So now it seems like I boof with women or men. But I have it under control! I don't need help because I'm pretty sure I can stop whenever I want to...


This post was awesome! I want a bumper sticker that says, "I do Whitelines and boof the Poudre".


----------



## ednaout (Jun 3, 2005)

Hi there,
My name is Beth and I think I might be a boof-a-holic. Gosh, I never even thought about this being a problem, what with it feeling so good and all...This post has forced me to think about my boof-a-holicism. 

There have been countless times I have boofed with multiple dudes, in the same day....even at the same time...I haven't even known all of my boofing partners or where they have boofed in the past...the shame. I might be willing to admit there could be a problem, but I am not ready to make efforts toward changing my behavior....

Thanks for listening.


----------



## mrkyak (Jul 11, 2005)

Just Say Boof


----------



## Ryanrugger (Jun 7, 2005)

I dont know who to turn to! My sponsor just asked be to paddle Bailey where boofs are plentiful, my last boof was approximently 4 days ago and I am a wreck! I mean i boofed my 6 week old daughters stroller off a bums head after he asked me for some change. I felt bad so I threw him a quarter a realized in a way I had just relapsed! I also fear now my baby girl has got her first taste and might go down the same path! I fear those words when I ask her who she learned to boof from and she says "you dad! I learned it from you"! What have I done, I'm a monster!


----------



## mafro (Sep 17, 2009)

I'm Jonesing too, gang. I just got out my boat and all my favorite paraphernalia and did some big boofs off my kitchen counter. Whooo!


----------



## gannon_w (Jun 27, 2006)

Ryanrugger said:


> I mean i boofed my 6 week old daughters stroller off a bums head after he asked me for some change. I felt bad so I threw him a quarter a realized in a way I had just relapsed! I also fear now my baby girl has got her first taste and might go down the same path! I fear those words when I ask her who she learned to boof from and she says "you dad! I learned it from you"! What have I done, I'm a monster!


Take this as a serious warning:
Joke as we may but just like a mother can pass her crack addiction to her child you can pass your boof addiction to your daughter. I'm not sure if you're fit to parent or teach young children...In fact that said boofed upon bum might be more fit to parent! He/she's probably just a lazy alcoholic. But just like Mary Jane or alcohol isn't really a drug, it's said that crystal meth and boofing are an addiction from the first hit!


----------



## Ryanrugger (Jun 7, 2005)

Well, I guess there is one good thing that can come from my daughter growing up addicted to boofing.. Just like crrrrack and meth she will be thin and probably fit. instead of pounding down cup cakes and ice cream while watching Jersey shore she will be out doing something. IF she does it right se will keep a nice grill and have some street cred. But there is also the possiblity that when the season ends she eats her feelings and becomes a huge gelotinous blob that will have to start each season paddling these new monstrous creek boats. Time will only tell.


----------



## wasatchbill (Apr 9, 2007)

'Tis a fine line between humor and reality. Noone said alcohol is not a drug. One of the most abusable, because its so socially accepted. Paddling is way healthier than any drug. 

The river is a fine fine place under any mental state; but a bit too much alcohol is all too common, I would have to say. (Not by ME of course, ... hi, my name is Bill. Ha ha )

I have learned that "addictive personalities", and those who seek out altered mental states, are attracted to extreme sports, precisely because its an extreme rush of endogenous endorphins, and, if over the line of fear vs fun, then adrenaline (thats fear-based, not fun, but still a rush). 

The river is alive, the rivers are part of the Higher Consciousness that understands all, and forgives all. There is consciousness behind every atom. Its all a learning experience. Its a lifetime sport; more so than rock climbing, skiing/snowboarding, or anything I else I have experienced. Sit down, take a load off, relax, breathe, stay alive, be safe, have fun, live to paddle another day. 
Learn and live to the fullest. 
Namaste from the Wasatch
Bill


----------



## freexbiker (Jul 18, 2005)

wasatchbill said:


> 'Tis a fine line between humor and reality. Noone said alcohol is not a drug. One of the most abusable, because its so socially accepted. Paddling is way healthier than any drug.
> 
> The river is a fine fine place under any mental state; but a bit too much alcohol is all too common, I would have to say. (Not by ME of course, ... hi, my name is Bill. Ha ha )
> 
> ...


you're boring....


----------



## bobbuilds (May 12, 2007)

you meant.


freexbiker said:


> hi bill....


and spencer, i know you are addicted. I saw a huge boof onto a marryed mans lap right in front of his wife and all our friends. whats up with that? i know it is NOT a jersy thing.

luke, you should seek help too, your boofs are stout. and almost automatic.

Yesterday i relapsed. i even helped others with there boof. i blame flowtorch.


----------



## gannon_w (Jun 27, 2006)

freexbiker said:


> you're boring....


You said it...Way to kill our happy mood Bill! Now I'm depressed. I'm feeling a relapse coming on. Next person who walks by I'm boofin' em!


----------



## caspermike (Mar 9, 2007)

Boofing is not a addiction.,it's a higher standard of living


----------



## milo (Apr 21, 2004)

*......boofaholic.....*

......that's enough!!!!!all this talk of boofing has enabled me to crawl out from under the bed.....dust off my gear....i will get an alpine start tomorrow....and head straight to a sweet-assed 18 footer in montrose....sure there are others down there but that 18'er is waiting day after day for somebody....captainblack420cb....after a spring and summer filled with injuries my season starts tommorrow.....sing it, praise it.......


----------



## ednaout (Jun 3, 2005)

Today might have been my all time low. My "rock bottom," so to speak...

I boofed everything I could, I definitely hurt my boat and I didn't even care. I was like the honey badger, and just didn't give a shit...

Then I got boofed on and although it hurt a little, I wanted more. Then, again, after boofing with multiple partners, I sat in the eddy, tired...and just watched others boof. 

I am ashamed to admit all of this, but I know that this is what this thread is for...to share with other boofaholics. I haven't been ready to fully admit it until now - but I am a boofaholic....thanks again for listening.


----------



## bhanvey (Jun 10, 2009)

bobbuilds said:


> you meant.
> 
> and spencer, i know you are addicted. I saw a huge boof onto a marryed mans lap right in front of his wife and all our friends. whats up with that? i know it is NOT a jersy thing.
> 
> ...


I believe that I am well on my way to becoming a Boofaholic, Thanks to BobBuilds 
I never thought it could happen so quickly. It starts soooo innocent.... a small flat rock, then an off camber hit, the next thing you know your hunting out every opportunity you can find. I even dreamed of boofing all night and most of today(OK...All of today).
I think I need a sponsor to help with my addiction????
Qualifications:
good at pointing out great boofs
good at supporting my occasional mis-boof
the ability to throw a stellar fist pump
good stories to share in a small eddy


----------



## funkins (Jun 24, 2005)

I'm pretty sure blowtorch boofed Boof5.8's sister. Either way...let's figure out how to meet up at bailey before she drops out.


----------



## tbaleria (Nov 17, 2003)

My name is cleandrops, and I am a boofaholic. 
This realization has been a long time coming. It started in the 90's when boofing was deep underground, vessels at that time were considered short at 8 feet and the boof was mysterious and ellusive. Now days boofing is openly talked about in even the most respectable households. For christmas sake BABIES AND BUMS ARE BOOFED TOGETHER IN THE SAME SENTENCE...! 
This progression has left me confused...do I emerge a voice for all those souls united before boofhood and take my place among the ranks of boofingness? OR Shall I float silently back into the deeply shadowed eddies of time and quietly observe the chatter?
BOOF ON my brothers and sisters!! Let not the naysayers define you as helpless addicts! Find your inner boof and let it rage!! FREE YOURSELF from the chains that stifle the BOOF within you. GO GET YOU SOME!!
you motherboofers are alright with me....


----------



## DanOrion (Jun 8, 2004)

After boofing on a young lady today, I was told my boof was inadequate. I'm so ashamed. This after joining the "mile high club" with numerous airplane boofs. Should I boof more or put away my boof for the season?


----------



## FLOWTORCH (Mar 5, 2004)

Buncha savages around here! Dont blame me cause im yer pusher,have a little self control. I just tell people where they can get some wet rocks to boof. There's somethin you don't know about me, Joe Rogan..I boof rocks! 

Wait what, boof5.7 has a sister!? I'd boofstomp that shit all night! I'd use the lefty boof stroke for her. No premature boofing, no way, just solid late boofs. Maybe give er the ole Duffek even! No no no, What am I sayin. I'd hit it and quit it, Just boof And rally before the sun came up. 

Funkins, did you tell the Air Force about my back to school megaboof party in the narrows Friday night?! We all knew you had something to do with it! Four B12 boof bombers flew over us late in the evening. My army of boofstomper infidels quickly manned the hairplane boof in a rapid-fire, blue-angel formation And must have defended the gnarrows successfully as they retreated back to Wyoming. I hear they're doing intelligence gathering on Awoody. Whatever keeps em off our backs. If I gotta narc out a fellow big boofer, I will! I'm too tender to serve time. 

Now if you wanna coordinate our efforts and join forces so we can focus our weapons of Mass Boofstruction on Bailey, Deer creek And other possible target rich environments before the holy season of Booftober rolls around..have your people contact my people.


----------



## caspermike (Mar 9, 2007)

boofing isnt for everyone. people that are prego, maybe use a cane to walk with and have gluacoma shouldnt boof, pretend to boof, or even think about boofing. This is from Dr. BOof and is an urgent message from the surgeon general of BOoftana.

http://vimeo.com/28881033
Yesterdays boofs


----------



## boof512 (Oct 26, 2003)

*my sister*

Non-boofkins, thanks for bringing up the topic of my sister getting boofed on. While it is true she has been boofed many a time, and once by a member of the boofing community. She did say that his boof was weak, small, and premature.. So she is looking for a real boofer to take care of her. However blowtorch I doubt your papa john lovin ass could give her the boofing she needs.

As far as the never ending search for more boofs, I say we enter into the deepest darkest reaches of the upper north fork of the south platte this weekend and see who has the bigger boof...


----------



## Ryanrugger (Jun 7, 2005)

I thought I was over the hump and then someone brings up la fuckin' Nina! I mean damn people! Talk about enablers! How am i supposed to get over my boof problem when there is talk of another epic year this early! Fuuuuudge!


----------



## gannon_w (Jun 27, 2006)

YOU know Ryan YOU need to accept responsibility for YOUR actions and choices...Stop blaming others for YOUR shortcomings!


----------



## leif (Jul 11, 2009)

*NO PROBLEM*

Listen, I don't need this, man. Don't pull that "intervention" shit on me. I boof a little, sure, but it's not like a big deal or anything. I don't even keep track. Hell, I probably haven't even boofed since, like... sunday... I think... spencer was there... and Ben Luck... and some other dudes... wait a second... oh man. I really feel the need right now. But look, it's totally under control, all right? I could quit whenever I wanted. Hell, I've quit boofing lots of times.

And besides, this is boofing we're talking about. I figured you'd be all over my browning problem.


----------



## Ryanrugger (Jun 7, 2005)

So, I have been on the wagon now for about 2 months. This so called wagon is making my life boring. I need to boof just a little, if I could just have that feeling again I know life will be better. I think I can control it; it won't be a problem..... This is why me and some of my boofing buddies are thinking of paddling west water not this week but next. Do any of you addicts have any beta on the ice situation right now? 
How is this forced boofing sobriety treating all of you? I am on edge, I damn near snapped the head off my boss today when he made the comment there wasn't much snow out there and that it might be a "dry one" this year. A "dry one"! Fu^K you man! Fu^K you! He sent me home "sick" for the day. I would have taken advantage of this, but I realized he was right. Even the skiing sucks right now. So now I have down a half bottle of Bushmills 16 year and can't stop crying. I think I might need help.


----------



## ednaout (Jun 3, 2005)

All the REAL boofaholics I know, were at the new year's day, shoshone run yesterday. We all made the new years resolution to say, "Fuck it! we're boofing. We're happier and people like us more when we boof, so let's just call a spade a spade, and be the true boofaholics we are." Where were you, you "so called, "boofaholic?" If, indeed, you need a hit, there's talk of a pine/numbers run happening this weekend... PM if you want to know more...it's a much nicer trip OFF the wagon.
Happy BOOF year!


----------



## Phillips (Feb 19, 2004)

That sounds cold! Glad you guys got out there. 

Kent




ednaout said:


> All the REAL boofaholics I know, were at the new year's day, shoshone run yesterday. We all made the new years resolution to say, "Fuck it! we're boofing. We're happier and people like us more when we boof, so let's just call a spade a spade, and be the true boofaholics we are." Where were you, you "so called, "boofaholic?" If, indeed, you need a hit, there's talk of a pine/numbers run happening this weekend... PM if you want to know more...it's a much nicer trip OFF the wagon.
> Happy BOOF year!


----------



## Ryanrugger (Jun 7, 2005)

I wish I could have been there at the new years float! Last years was great and what a awesome way to satisfy my addiction! I had to work. Fortunately I still refuse to sell my body to support my addiction. But if I had to I probably would.


----------



## ednaout (Jun 3, 2005)

I would be interested in taking my need, love and new acceptance, of my boofaholicism to westy...if that gets organized and you're looking for paddlers, let me know. 
I'm school-less until the 18th!!!!!!!!!! I can hit the boof pipe until then.

Beth


----------



## caspermike (Mar 9, 2007)

If you didn't boof in the new year you need help with your denial. Not boofing can lead to an advanced case of aids.. Nobody wants that shit so keep on boofing.. And browning is overrated unless you got a throw bag in the claw Leif.


----------



## Ryanrugger (Jun 7, 2005)

Aids! your mother, your sister, your brother, your uncle, aids, aids aids, aids, aiiids, AIDS! Matt Damon F.A.G.


----------



## st2eelpot (Apr 15, 2008)

Boofing is not a crime.

I see sticker production in the possible future.


----------

