# slalom corse in golden



## streetdoctor (May 11, 2012)

WhiteChocolate said:


> anyone else have issues with the damn people that run the slalom races in golden? i was in their like two weeks ago and this guy was yelling at me to stop playing in the hole because kids were coming down the course. i told him straight up i would get out of the way in time, and i always dids. these kids would just come down and swim at the play wave anyways, didn't matter if i was in there or not.
> these slalom people think the play park just needs to shut down cause they is racing. i feel like the play boaters have just as much a right to be in there as slalom boaters.
> next time he can yell at me all he wants to, there is nothing he can do to make me get out, especially if i am getting a good ride. they can take them bitch ass skinny boats over to confluence and race, leave the golden park to play boating and stands up paddle boards!


Word to your mother!


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## jarraa (Feb 17, 2007)

*bitch ass skinny boat paddlers*

I am one of those bitch ass skinny boat paddlers that uses golden quite often. Its called share the river! They were trying to race and trying to promote paddling to kids ….beginners …just like you and me once were. Maybe you forgot those days when fellow paddlers were patient and gracious to our lack of skills?

It’s not that we think the park needs to shut down when we are on the water, its a matter of space and respect. For instance, during the Golden Rodeo series you don’t see us coming at you from above with our pointy ass boats, do you? Share the love for the river man!

And there are things we can do for you to get out of the hole forcefully if need be .... Our bows are a lot more pointier than yours (your ribs should love it!). Last I checked we had a bit more boat control than the average play boater …don’t instigate us to try and use it on you next time you are being a selfish small dick in a hole. 

I didn’t see you out there today when it was 1900+ while some of us slalom boaters in our skinny boats were actually paddling a lovely swollen river! Or is it just that you paddle when the water is slow moving so you can sit in a hole and just admire your lack of skills and your shit personality?

River karma is a bitch 

-Assad 

"you keep my mum out of this, and ill keep this (indicate to groin) out of your mum"


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## ACC (Oct 30, 2003)

I am pretty sure I saw white choc out ther today throwing bread & butters, mcnastys, space gozirras, you name it! He does have a small dick tho. Speaking of, Golden ain't dickerson...you pointy boat biatches best respect the wild wild west playboaters out yonder! (by the way do any of you have a large slalom boat for sale?)


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## seanski06 (Apr 1, 2011)

Now I know why people hate playboaters


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## WhiteChocolate (May 16, 2008)

dang acc, i was throwing down but not sure what some of those moves are. and yeah i was a little chilly when i gots out, me junk was shrivlins a bit. were you the dude with the green helmet? 
jarra, i can understand you animosity, but you don't need to hate on us. we are just out there just trying to have a good time, using the park for which it is design to do.....PLAYBOAT!! my recommendation is that you schedule your little races before 10am when we are not using it, or you can have the park below 150 cfs. maybe hold your events in september or something. 
tell that goatee dude in the dry suit running safety at our play wave to quick barking at us, i'll drop a green claw on him next he runs his mouth. he shove that whistle up his ass. next time you drop in on me i will throw an air blunt on you.


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## FrankC (Jul 8, 2008)

As long as you get out of the way of down river traffic nobody should be screaming at you. There's a lot of control freaks out there.


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## Osseous (Jan 13, 2012)

"It's for the children"......

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## glenn (May 13, 2009)

Please let this be a real person.


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## CGM (Jun 18, 2004)

I saw that guy yelling at you in the hole. It was a little harsh but I was surprised that you just bent over and took it...I thought you were a real balla


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## Sarge6531 (Nov 1, 2011)

People need to check their egos. 


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## WhiteChocolate (May 16, 2008)

cgm if you remember i got out of the hole the first couple times he asked. about the fifth time i just laughed at him cause he just kept blowin on that whistle, that dude was so annoying.
one of the moms of the racers came up to me when i got out and said i had no business being in the water when they was racing. i said equal rights biatch, sup paddlers and kayakers have just as much a right as these skinny boat wankers. i guess her son swam at the play wave and she was all bent out of shape. most of the racers didnt even know how to roll, pretty sad that they were even allowed out there.
the point is you cant just take over a park during peak hours. hold your races somewhere else


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## jarraa (Feb 17, 2007)

*Peace*

"jarra, i can understand you animosity, but you don't need to hate on us."

I ain't doing the hating. Recall that you were the original poster. Just to jog your memory, go reread your original post and then come to me saying I am doing the hating.
I am just saying if you want to start becoming a bitch about things, then there is no reason for you not to get bitch slapped about it.


"we are just out there just trying to have a good time, using the park for which it is design to do.....PLAYBOAT!!"

A play park is meant to play. It's in the word itself "PLAY park" ...you don't think running gates is playing? Try it sometime ...maybe you will be enlightened. It's equally fun to be on a wave, pivot turn, stern stall, dive eddies etc ...regardless your choice of paddle craft! 

"my recommendation is that you schedule your little races before 10am when we are not using it, or you can have the park below 150 cfs. maybe hold your events in september or something. "

Wanna tell Golden games and Golden rodeo series the same thing? It's an event man. We paddle when the water flows. Thats why we live in Colorado. If we wanted to boat 150 cfs we would be living in a crack house with your mama in Kansas.

"Next time you drop in on me i will throw an air blunt on you."
I wasn't saying drop in on you on purpose, I was saying that sometimes getting out of peoples way coming downstream is a courtesy that your mama should have thought you. 
And you can talk smack all you want. Pointy bow to the ribs. Takes two to tango 

"i said equal rights biatch, sup paddlers and kayakers have just as much a right as these skinny boat wankers."
Exactly ...thats my point ...share the river man. Its a gift given to us ... all of us! So don't be telling me to go confluence and paddle. We are paddlers that love all rivers ...especially ones that are flowing big during peak season.


As for the guy yelling at you, that was uncalled for too (I was not there when that shit happened). I was hoping you would come out the bigger man ....but clearly that did not seem to be the case.

Either way regardless of the race fiasco .... all I am preaching is that we are the stewards of the river ...regardless of the paddle craft of choice. We are supposed to be brothers and sisters that spread the river love ....not Middle Easterners (I am one ...so I can use that  ) trying to fight amongst ourselves.


Peace out and see you on the river with a smile on your face.

-daddy


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## WhiteChocolate (May 16, 2008)

everything you said is all good, except bringing mamas into it. that is a sensitive subject for me and your mama, i swore i wouldn't share her new paleo diet wit anyone. she is getting at least 80 grams o protein a day from my beef bayonet, i threw some nuts in wit it. its working she has lost 20 lbs in 2 weeks, now i just need to fix her penis breath
all i am asking for is don't drop in on me when i am throwing down, the racer should catch an eddy and wait till the surf has been complete. #smokeyhill #atown #80015


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## JeremyH (Sep 12, 2011)

This thread is happening. Just relax. Let it happen.


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## twitch (Oct 16, 2003)

I recall rodeos back in the day, where those in the hole would pause and wait for a racer or two to come through. Even if it was mid-ride, just moved out of the way and started over. Usually it was a mix of eye contact and some head nods, maybe even a signal using ones paddle. I think middle age may be setting in now that I'm starting sentences with "I recall"...Jesus.

That said, if some dude were blowing a whistle at me from shore telling me what to do, he'd be getting force-fed the aforementioned paleo diet. Probably why you'll never find me down there after 9am anyhow.

As for the play park moniker, and the assumption that its designed for play-boating, check yourself and google that sheeyot. The Golden Whitewater (not play) Park was engineered first for whitewater recreation with the existing mainstay - whitewater kayaking and canoeing - in mind. Only later were additional play specific feature added, most of which are downstream of Lions Park (I'd say bleacher hole, but again, most of you weren't even paddling when throwing ends at the bleacher hole was cool). It's for whitewater recreation - whether scantily clad teeny boppers on tubes, play boaters, hard core play boaters with no dry tops, and even those paddlers in pointy ass fiberglass coffins. 

Blowing a whistle as described is pretty weak, but so too is assuming the world revolves around your specific interests. Its a public park.

Personally, I like to run lower CC at big water, and if I'm lucky enough to have a clean run ill drop into #4 sideways to ensure I remember how to surf out of a hole and practice my window shade. 

Ok, off to the early bird dinner special for senior citizens. 


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## chrispy (Apr 6, 2004)

*eggos*

That's what I thought you said...... mmmmmmmmm with maple syrup.


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## DoubleYouEss (Oct 4, 2011)

Aurorasites... 


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## mvhyde (Feb 3, 2004)

*Wow WhiteChocolate... you're such a badass*

Not sure who was blowing the whistle, but I was the Start Judge for the race (if this was the Golden Games race).

Number one, asshole - Most of those are kids who are not very good yet, and may never be any good. 

Number two, asshole - this was a sanctioned event by the City of Golden. 

Number three, asshole - you were once a weak-assed boater (probably still are a weak-assed boater)

The real reason you were getting a whistle blown at you and Mom's coming at you is that there was a "SANCTIONED" race occurring. This means my non-showering scouser friend that you were interfering potentially with the race and quite possibly could have had the potential to cause harm to one of the racers (which would get your ass beat). In case you forgot (perhaps you never learned), UPSTREAM Traffic has the right of way under US Maritime Laws of Navigation. Not you sitting in the hole in your moment of self-indulgent gratification.

At most of these events, I usually do safety for these kids. I haven't lost a kid yet, nor do I intend on ever losing one. Anyone who endangers these kids willfully and intentionally will be dealt with by any means necessary to ensure the safety of these kids. 

Lastly, don't talk like you're a badass, you're not, you never will be. You thrown a blunt on one of my kids, you will have bitten off far more than you can deal with.

BTW, some of these children in pointy composite boats can school you out on the water big time.


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## mvhyde (Feb 3, 2004)

WhiteChocolate said:


> dang acc, i was throwing down but not sure what some of those moves are. and yeah i was a little chilly when i gots out, me junk was shrivlins a bit. were you the dude with the green helmet?
> jarra, i can understand you animosity, but you don't need to hate on us. we are just out there just trying to have a good time, using the park for which it is design to do.....PLAYBOAT!! my recommendation is that you schedule your little races before 10am when we are not using it, or you can have the park below 150 cfs. maybe hold your events in september or something.
> *tell that goatee dude in the dry suit running safety at our play wave to quick barking at us, i'll drop a green claw on him next he runs his mouth. he shove that whistle up his ass. next time you drop in on me i will throw an air blunt on you*.



Wow, I just read this part of your pathetic post. What boat do you paddle and what colour is your helmet? When are you out in Golden next? Or are you a gutless little fuck of whom the best part of you ran down your mother's leg while she was getting it from the neighbour's dog? What a dickless little fuck you are....


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## Osseous (Jan 13, 2012)

I wouldn't want either one of you around my kid

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## mattoak (Apr 29, 2013)

This is like soccer/baseball/football parents fighting each other in the stands because they are on opposite sides and need to be overly competitive, yet the kids are out there playing and having a good time, wondering why their parents can't control themselves. haha keep it coming


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## WhiteChocolate (May 16, 2008)

if the city of golden realized what a lame-ass nonrevenue generating sport slalom boating is theys would tell you to pack yo shiz up and go to confluence (where you can float with the rest of the turds). they should replace slalom boating in the olympics with play boating, it would do wonders for our sport and give me the chance to rep the usa. much rather see dane jackson doing some insane trick than a slalom boater paddling through a gate(in your organization's case missing the gate and not knowing how to roll so they swim out of da boat). by the way if you were so concerned about the kids safety, maybe teach them to roll before you send them out there. we can all get along if you use the park during non-peak hours and/or go to confluence park to race. 
i am down there after work. black helmet, sometimes hand paddles, i have a blue dry top and a black one, mostly black life jacket. blunts in the parking lot, blunts on the wave, blunts in yo face if you drop in on me


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## mattoak (Apr 29, 2013)

seanski06 said:


> Now I know why people hate playboaters
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Mountain Buzz


So playboaters are the park rats of the river?


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## DoubleYouEss (Oct 4, 2011)

People don't hate playboaters, they just hate the giant douchepiles that represent that segment of boaters.


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## gjcarolina (Apr 29, 2014)

Wow, this thread escalated quickly...

Here's my 2 cents:

I'm not a play boater or a slalom boater. I run rivers and occasionally stop to play in a wave or hole. However, I have had problems with play boaters hogging features and acting like territorial dude brahs and I have had problems with slalom boaters thinking everyone should get out of their way on the river all over the place the whole way down like some elitist a-holes. This is not to label all of either category, but you have to admit there are some of what I described in each bunch. 

The way I see it all river activity yields to the boat going down river, but that boat only gets the right to the main channel, flow, grain (whatever you want to call it); the boat going down river has no right to a hole, eddy, wave, whatever outside of the main flow. Anybody else can chime in if they think river rules work differently, but that's my take.

With that said... anybody who purposely tries to hit me with their boat or purposely intimidate or injury me on the river gets a non-deferable invitation over to the bank where we will sort things out. I don't give a damn whether I win or lose the scrap, the point is to make someone pay for endangering my safety on an otherwise good day on the river, and I'll do my best to collect. Matter of fact, if I see anyone purposely try to injure or intimidate anybody on the river because they were in YOUR hole, on YOUR wave, or near YOUR gate then you're getting called out. 

It is my opinion that collectively we as kayakers need to stamp out any aggressive, territorial, intimidating or otherwise malicious behavior on the river or the river community will quickly become the short board surfing community at the ocean.


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## mvhyde (Feb 3, 2004)

I'm not the coach for the kids, but I do look out for them. One of the kids out there paddling has scoliosis, so yeah - I really do get concerned when a fucktard threatens harm to not only that kid, but any of the kids - be they in the slalom program or not. Pissing me off is not in your best interests. If I am running safety for an event there and I determine you're in the way, I will let you know it by any means necessary - and you will get the fuck out of the way either voluntarily or otherwise. 

Whether they can consistently roll of not is not the issue here. They will either learn to in time (when they get sick of emptying their boats out). That is up to their coaching, not me. I taught my kid to roll and to paddle and he is a badass boater. I know who you are and I haven't seen you running anything but your mouth. I didn't see you running Homestake last week.

When there is a sanctioned race event in that park or anywhere, you need to respect that event. Where there is sanctioned training occurring, you need to also respect that just as much.

If I ever see you attempt or actually intentionally hit someone with your boat, I will personally not only take you to the woodshed, I will see to it that you are fully prosecuted and spend a great deal of time in prison. The river is not place for stupidity.


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## double-H (Mar 27, 2009)

This is funny. But seriously, if you're not paying attention and you get hit by a slalom boat, it sucks. Any boat for that matter. I took Hobie's Green Boat to the face last year in the 8 ball and it sucked. No one should try to hurt someone with their boat. It doesn't matter if it is a playboat or a slalom boat or worse yet, like a wildwater boat coming down the river at 20 mph.


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## stubby (Oct 13, 2003)

I want a slalom boat to do some playboater spearing.


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## Caleb125 (Oct 25, 2012)




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## robfather (Dec 24, 2003)

bodyboarder beat down - YouTube


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## Tim Kennedy (May 28, 2004)

Let me start off with...*course.

Next...Is this a fucking joke?

White Choco...We owe more than half of the current tricks, technique, boat and equipment design and technology currently in use in whitewater paddling today to the history and legacy of whitewater slalom racing. If it wasn't for slalom racing's rapid development in the 1970's, all of us here in the States would still be paddling canoes.

Finally...(skakes head) You should all learn to play and paddle together on the river nicely. If hashtags worked here, this would be tagged #frontrangepaddlingproblems




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## WhiteChocolate (May 16, 2008)

kennedy you makes a valid point, i do need to understand my roots. i would not be the boater i am today if it not from slalom boaters. hopesfully freestyle kayaking will make the olympics some day, dane jackson would win gold fo-sho! #rio2016


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## twitch (Oct 16, 2003)

FKNA TK - why'd you have to go and diffuse this right when it was getting good? I was starting to have visions of Mike running safety for the kids and dropping a flying elbow off the elevated shoreline on some play-boater scum Macho-Man style. Don't you know talking smack like this is what front rangers do while they're obliviously holding up traffic in the passing lane?

Facts:
1. Whitewater Park = good place to learn to boat (and swim) at average flows. 2. helping a fellow boater pick up his / her soup sandwich would go a lot further than looking down on them with the dreaded stink eye.
3. Parents that get their kids and other kids into boating = Good Peeps
4. This years winner of the Homestake Creek race = dorky Hebro who came up paddling whitewater coffins, likely on courses a lot like Golden.
5. Henry DID take a Green Boat hit, like a boss, and he can probably out paddle most of the peanut gallery here - whether in a playboat, creek boat, or one of them fancy toothpick boats with cockpits for people who like to go between sticks. 
6. I want a #frontrangepaddlingproblems sticker / shirt when you make one TK


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## FastFXR (May 22, 2012)

****** kayakers. 




Wakkers?


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## Tim Kennedy (May 28, 2004)

> FKNA TK - why'd you have to go and diffuse this right when it was getting good?


Damnit…Sorry about killing the "spirited debate". I don't post as often as others. But lately, it seems when I do, the thread kinda dies. 

Well anyway, it appears that I might have been "trolled" by this thread and took the bait. "White Chocolate" has gotta be someone's "alter ego"…right? 

Maybe I'll give the #frontrangepaddlingproblems sticker/t-shirt some thought. Is that web domain available? Don't you guys down there have some paddling, ride-sharing, or work to do, or something? I could troll a little about play boaters or slalom boaters to spark up the "debate". But, I kinda respect both disciplines. (Even though paddling a play boat downriver has similar performance characteristics to paddling an igloo cooler). 

Carry on,
TK


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## Sarge6531 (Nov 1, 2011)

Lots of great points, all in all we need to respect all forms boating/watercraft(all have their perks) and learn to share the rivers we love much with others of all walks of life.


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## tango (Feb 1, 2006)

You're all pussies (except Tim). Quit your squabbling and come to black rock. Stay out of the park.


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## KSC (Oct 22, 2003)

I used to the think White Chocolate was just some scrub, but it turns out this guy is legit. I heard from a good source that he holds the 1st of Golden to Coors. The guy got his start running draining ditches in Aurora where you're all in or you're done for.

At least now I understand where all the boaters are. I thought I must be missing something sick because every time I go boating there's nobody on the water. I guess everybody's too busy flapping their junk on the buzz to get the goods.


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## Ripper (Aug 29, 2012)

Paleo diet comment wins... That shit is "gold"en. Lo


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