# Boyfriend+Kayaking=Without Bliss



## kayaklifeislife (May 12, 2015)

My boyfriend has become rather upset lately with the fact that I kayak, because it makes him nervous because it is dangerous. Is it selfish that I am going to continue to kayak even though it scares him? I can't see myself stopping boating anytime soon. Is there anyway I can get him more comfortable or okay with whitewater kayaking?


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## spencerhenry (Jun 21, 2004)

dump him.

some things can be dangerous, big deal. how does he recreate? by watching TV?


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## kayaklifeislife (May 12, 2015)

spencerhenry said:


> dump him.
> 
> some things can be dangerous, big deal. how does he recreate? by watching TV?


Well he climbs.


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## jgrebe (Jan 16, 2010)

Seriously dump him. Sounds controlling and hypocritical. Find somebody who either shares your passions or at least wants you to be happy and do what you love


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## mattman (Jan 30, 2015)

Well it's kinda your own damn business if you want to kayak, and it's not like climbing is the safest thing to do with your self either, might be one thing if he simply cares about your well being, but if he's pissed of that you boat, then dump his ass. Live your life and pursue your own passions.


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## soggy_tortillas (Jul 22, 2014)

Agreed. My boyfriend taught me to kayak. He gets a little grouchy when I go without him, but only because he wishes he could be on the river too- he would never tell me I couldn't go. We love each other a lot, but our love wouldn't be the same without kayaking. I'm not saying I'd dump him if he didn't want to kayak anymore, but we've grown together through kayaking, and experienced some pretty amazing moments because of it... If your boyfriend can't support your true passion, then he's not probably not all that passionate about you and it probably is time to find another man that you can connect with better. Plenty o' fish in that there river... 

Otherwise, if you're hopelessly in love with the guy, maybe try to ease him into it a little... get him a duckie, or a sit-on-top... go on a guided trip together... take a raft out for a spin. Maybe if you approach it like that, he'll be a little more interested and will have the opportunity to see that we're not ALL sending 30' drops ALL the time. It can be tranquil, beautiful, and enlightening, rather than dangerous and terrifying. 
Plus, is climbing not dangerous??? I believe it is... Do you give him shit every time he goes climbing, or do you let him follow his passion?


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## carvedog (May 11, 2005)

Wow. Tough one. If he doesn't trust your skill, talent and drive enough to trust you to kayak on your own, not sure he is the right guy. If you are madly in Lo. Ve. Not sure where to go with that. Maybe try soggy's soft approach. 

You don't have to prove a thing. You like it. Do what you like. He can lead, follow or get out of the way.


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## Grif (May 21, 2008)

Damn girl, how long you gonna spend with that little sissy? Lemme guess, he wears his cell phone on his belt? Wears cotton all the time? Tell him that you're goin' boatin' with ol' Grif and you're 'bout to surf the wave of love!


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## kayaklifeislife (May 12, 2015)

soggy_tortillas said:


> Agreed. My boyfriend taught me to kayak. He gets a little grouchy when I go without him, but only because he wishes he could be on the river too- he would never tell me I couldn't go. We love each other a lot, but our love wouldn't be the same without kayaking. I'm not saying I'd dump him if he didn't want to kayak anymore, but we've grown together through kayaking, and experienced some pretty amazing moments because of it... If your boyfriend can't support your true passion, then he's not probably not all that passionate about you and it probably is time to find another man that you can connect with better. Plenty o' fish in that there river...
> 
> Otherwise, if you're hopelessly in love with the guy, maybe try to ease him into it a little... get him a duckie, or a sit-on-top... go on a guided trip together... take a raft out for a spin. Maybe if you approach it like that, he'll be a little more interested and will have the opportunity to see that we're not ALL sending 30' drops ALL the time. It can be tranquil, beautiful, and enlightening, rather than dangerous and terrifying.
> Plus, is climbing not dangerous??? I believe it is... Do you give him shit every time he goes climbing, or do you let him follow his passion?


Good advice and to answer your question no I don't hold him back from climbing. Maybe some time on the river is what he needs!


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## kayaklifeislife (May 12, 2015)

Grif said:


> Damn girl, how long you gonna spend with that little sissy? Lemme guess, he wears his cell phone on his belt? Wears cotton all the time? Tell him that you're goin' boatin' with ol' Grif and you're 'bout to surf the wave of love!


hahahahahahahaha thanks for the advice!


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## twmartin (Apr 3, 2007)

Dump him and take up Grif's offer!


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## soggy_tortillas (Jul 22, 2014)

If you decide to go the Grif route... just expect a lot of turkey legs.


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## bucketboater (Jul 9, 2012)

kayaklifeislife said:


> My boyfriend has become rather upset lately with the fact that I kayak, because it makes him nervous because it is dangerous. Is it selfish that I am going to continue to kayak even though it scares him? I can't see myself stopping boating anytime soon. Is there anyway I can get him more comfortable or okay with whitewater kayaking?[/QUOT
> 
> Unlike your b.f I was honest with my g.f. I told her if she wants to hang out with a bunch of drunk frat boy kayakers be my guest. I'll be at the strip club. Hope that doesn't make you" nervous"


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## kayaklifeislife (May 12, 2015)

bucketboater said:


> kayaklifeislife said:
> 
> 
> > My boyfriend has become rather upset lately with the fact that I kayak, because it makes him nervous because it is dangerous. Is it selfish that I am going to continue to kayak even though it scares him? I can't see myself stopping boating anytime soon. Is there anyway I can get him more comfortable or okay with whitewater kayaking?[/QUOT
> ...


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## kayaklifeislife (May 12, 2015)

soggy_tortillas said:


> If you decide to go the Grif route... just expect a lot of turkey legs.


What does that even mean??


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## climbdenali (Apr 2, 2006)

BucketBoater might have a point: are you paddling with a bunch of dudes who your bf is just jealous of? The "danger" of boating might just be his excuse for not being able to be direct with you.


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## Randaddy (Jun 8, 2007)

I agree with everyone else. You need to dump this dude and try to get with Grif as soon as possible.


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## climbdenali (Apr 2, 2006)

Randaddy said:


> I agree with everyone else. You need to dump this dude and try to get with Grif as soon as possible.


Just be sure you can self rescue. . .


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## kayaklifeislife (May 12, 2015)

Lol


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## kayaklifeislife (May 12, 2015)

Mountain Buzz romance?


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## kayaklifeislife (May 12, 2015)

climbdenali said:


> BucketBoater might have a point: are you paddling with a bunch of dudes who your bf is just jealous of? The "danger" of boating might just be his excuse for not being able to be direct with you.


I mean there are going to be cute dirtbags anywhere.


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## Andy H. (Oct 13, 2003)

Grif is just joshin' with you gal. There's a story about him, and he comes round here from time to time to make sure folks ain't takin' themselves too seriously. The original Grif was a character in a story that's a classic Buzz thread. Since then, he's become a legend in our own minds. Here's the original story, learn to self rescue and don't let this happen to you.

Bout' lost my life yesterday

As for the BF, tell him about all the safety training and safety tools boaters have, make sure you don't go boating alone any more than he'd climb alone.. Try helping him get together with some rafters that can bring him along to enjoy the river on trips with you. If you spend time hanging out belaying him and waiting for him at the bottom of the face, and he's not down for coming along to be with you in your newfound element, AND he still doesn't want you to go boating, then it sounds like things aren't working both ways between you. If things aren't mutually supportive it's time to start taking a long hard look at your relationship and how much it's working for you both. 

Good luck,

-AH


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## riversoul (May 12, 2005)

I started paddling 25 years ago.at the time i was into climbing. my g.f. at the time was into paddling and she wanted me to kayak. we compromised by climbing that first summer. the next summer i got my paddling gear together and learned to kayak.I never looked back.I am forever grateful for being turned on to the river life!!! Eventually I got a raft (16' cat) and have been lucky enough to have rowed the Grand Canyon 7 times (can't wait to go again and again)....It seem that most things that I consider fun are dangerous.....hell driving is more dangerous than most sports...You are in a good place to learn and hone your paddling skills.Durango has a lot of top notch boaters to learn from! maybe your b.f.should give it a try...could be the best move of his life .....if not...well you know what to do.......hope you stick with it ..paddling is so much more than just fun..it is LIFE....be safe and enjoy your decision to paddle!!!


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## mattman (Jan 30, 2015)

Was wondering when andy H would Post!

One other factor that comes to mind is that some people just aren't comfortable around water, I saw it quite a few times when i was a guide, they would seem legitimately pissed off most of the trip, then be fine and tell me how awesome it was at the end.

I don't blame people one little bit for being scared of water, i used to be kind of terified of the water until i started boating and worked through that fear. Now it has become my heart and soul, i am the happiest, the most comfortable, and most myself when i'm on a river. 
Boating isn't for everyone. 
But seeing you doing something that he is not comfortable with himself, could have something to do with it to.


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## mattman (Jan 30, 2015)

It also may be that he went boating with grif and is now permmmanantly traumatised by boating.


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## bigben (Oct 3, 2010)

climbdenali said:


> BucketBoater might have a point


damn, never thought i'd hear someone say that!!!


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## KSC (Oct 22, 2003)

This one's a no-brainer. Let's just say hypothetically that you're a 5 on a scale from 1-10. Most likely, you're going to be hooking up with someone +- 1 pt from you. So your boyfriend is probably like a 4-6. Since he sounds like a douche-bag, let's just assume a 4.

There are very few women kayakers, so just the fact that you go kayaking automatically gives you 1-2 bonus points (depending on how hot you look with a helmet on). Since you live in Durango, might as well just add 2. 

Now you've gone from a 5 to a 7. Already you should be looking for guys in the 6-8 range. Let's say you actually get proficient at kayaking and paddle something better than class 3 and therefore become a fun paddling partner. That's like another 1-2 points there.

Now you're like an 8-9 and want to be looking for a guy in the 8-10 range. Do you want to be stuck with a 4 at that point? Of course not. So ditch the guy. 

Unfortunately you're in Durango, so really the only choice you have if you want a guy with a decent job is jmack, so get in line with all the other ladies down there and wait your turn.


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## 4CRS (Apr 16, 2010)

KSC said:


> Unfortunately you're in Durango, so really the only choice you have if you want a guy with a decent job is jmack, so get in line with all the other ladies down there and wait your turn.


But having to shave JMack's back is like a full time job. Ain't nobody got time for that! 

Come hang out at your local kayak shop more. I'm sure we can solve your problem.


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## lmyers (Jun 10, 2008)

kayaklifeislife said:


> What does that even mean??


Hard to beat the classics.....



Grif said:


> Man, me and my girl were just chillin' and this girl starts blowing her whistle and harshing our buzz! I tried to throw her a rope, but I was too messed up and I accidentally threw a turkey leg. She didn't catch it so we kept going. Fortunately one of the horses knew that something was wrong and kicked a log into the water for her to grab on to. We eddied out later and she never showed. I guess she decided to hang out at that ranch all day.





Grif said:


> I can't believe that bitch is famous. Happy Thanksgiving y'all! I'm going to Popeye's.


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## kayaklifeislife (May 12, 2015)

4CRS said:


> But having to shave JMack's back is like a full time job. Ain't nobody got time for that!
> 
> Come hang out at your local kayak shop more. I'm sure we can solve your problem.


You don't have to ask me twice to head down to 4crs. I love that place!


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## Dwave (Mar 23, 2009)

4CRS said:


> But having to shave JMack's back is like a full time job. Ain't nobody got time for that!
> 
> Come hang out at your local kayak shop more. I'm sure we can solve your problem.


Tony's pretty much hit 'er on the head with this one. JMack is a great guy but hairy as .... and he's taken by a real sweety. You're in Durango which means there are heaps of great paddlers to hang out with and the best paddle shop to chill and have a beer at. 

With the male to female paddler ratio at 100:1 and rising in Durango, your BF is probably a little jealous and masking it via some type of "scared for you" routine. Don't fall for that malarky. It'll only get worse the better you paddling skills get and the more invites you get to go on tour with us to the festivals. 

If he's a keeper, he'll figure out how to deal with it and maybe even sack up and get in a boat. If not, then make the move sooner rather than late. You certainly don't want to head into the southern rockies boatin season this winter with a cling-on nagger. 

See you at 4CRNS


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## Randaddy (Jun 8, 2007)

KSC said:


> This one's a no-brainer. Let's just say hypothetically that you're a 5 on a scale from 1-10. Most likely, you're going to be hooking up with someone +- 1 pt from you. So your boyfriend is probably like a 4-6. Since he sounds like a douche-bag, let's just assume a 4.
> 
> There are very few women kayakers, so just the fact that you go kayaking automatically gives you 1-2 bonus points (depending on how hot you look with a helmet on). Since you live in Durango, might as well just add 2.
> 
> ...


It's hard to argue with math...


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## kayaklifeislife (May 12, 2015)

Dwave said:


> Tony's pretty much hit 'er on the head with this one. JMack is a great guy but hairy as .... and he's taken by a real sweety. You're in Durango which means there are heaps of great paddlers to hang out with and the best paddle shop to chill and have a beer at.
> 
> With the male to female paddler ratio at 100:1 and rising in Durango, your BF is probably a little jealous and masking it via some type of "scared for you" routine. Don't fall for that malarky. It'll only get worse the better you paddling skills get and the more invites you get to go on tour with us to the festivals.
> 
> ...


Hahaha 100:1 ain't that the truth...


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## kayaklifeislife (May 12, 2015)

Randaddy said:


> It's hard to argue with math...


Well that math is pretty logical if you ask me, you could even say it's liquid logic.


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## soggy_tortillas (Jul 22, 2014)

Either way, my boyfriend and I think it's pretty apparent that the contaminated water has affected more than just the agriculture 'round those parts.
Standing here cooking a pan full of breakfast sausage, I do wonder why you came to such a sausage fest as the Buzz for advice. Male or not, as a group of boaters we're bound to be a bit wary of someone who's so adverse to our own past time of choice... It's a biased panel of judges.


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## bystander (Jul 3, 2014)

If it were me, I'd talk to him frankly. This is a sport you've participated in for years, and you aren't going to stop for him, just as you aren't stopping him from rock climbing.

It may also make sense to first try and get him into kayaking. He may love it, and once he sees how the scene is, he may not be as concerned.


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## bystander (Jul 3, 2014)

I might also note that guys have hidden or downplayed the dangers of kayaking to their significant other for years. You should not be talking to him about your exciting runs, besides a few words of how much fun you had. What happens on the river, stays on the river.


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## cataraftgirl (Jun 5, 2009)

I think you need to start sweet talking this boy into hitting the river with you. If he doesn't want to kayak, then get him into a raft or a cataraft. Show him how much fun it is. Then you've killed two birds with one stone.....river partner instead of a nag, and if you play your cards right a perfect support rafter for your future adventures.


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## kayaklifeislife (May 12, 2015)

cataraftgirl said:


> I think you need to start sweet talking this boy into hitting the river with you. If he doesn't want to kayak, then get him into a raft or a cataraft. Show him how much fun it is. Then you've killed two birds with one stone.....river partner instead of a nag, and if you play your cards right a perfect support rafter for your future adventures.


Great Idea to bad he's not super into that. But I'll try again.


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## kayaklifeislife (May 12, 2015)

bystander said:


> I might also note that guys have hidden or downplayed the dangers of kayaking to their significant other for years. You should not be talking to him about your exciting runs, besides a few words of how much fun you had. What happens on the river, stays on the river.


That's actually really smart... don't want him to picture crazy scary sh*t.


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## Jhit (May 31, 2005)

The problem isn't girl kayakers dating boys who don't kayak. The problem is girls who date kayakers. Just don't. One night stands, summer flings yup. But otherwise until that boat gets hung up… There are the rare engineers kayakers who make good adult people. But theres always going to be another girl in the picture and she's always gonna be wet, and he's always going to be dreaming of her. And he'll make long trips to go see her, and she's not self conscious, she can be very controlling. Its tough competition. If you like guys who live out of trucks with no w2s... Sorry hijack here. But one last thing, i like jackson boats but the Dagger mamba dude in the reindeer sweater could be the spokesman for a lot of us with cosmetic damage on our boats.


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## kayaklifeislife (May 12, 2015)

Jhit said:


> The problem isn't girl kayakers dating boys who don't kayak. The problem is girls who date kayakers. Just don't. One night stands, summer flings yup. But otherwise until that boat gets hung up… There are the rare engineers kayakers who make good adult people. But theres always going to be another girl in the picture and she's always gonna be wet, and he's always going to be dreaming of her. And he'll make long trips to go see her, and she's not self conscious, she can be very controlling. Its tough competition. If you like guys who live out of trucks with no w2s... Sorry hijack here. But one last thing, i like jackson boats but the Dagger mamba dude in the reindeer sweater could be the spokesman for a lot of us with cosmetic damage on our boats.


What are you talking about the dagger mamba guy is awesome hahaha. The problem is a lot of kayakers are really attractive.


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## yesimapirate (Oct 18, 2010)

kayaklifeislife said:


> What are you talking about the dagger mamba guy is awesome hahaha. The problem is a lot of kayakers are really attractive.


Ruh roh. Out with the old, and on to the dirtbag kayaker boys.


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## soggy_tortillas (Jul 22, 2014)

kayaklifeislife said:


> What are you talking about the dagger mamba guy is awesome hahaha. The problem is a lot of kayakers are really attractive.


Meh. Maybe you just have a wandering eye.


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## Jhit (May 31, 2005)

Yea they are attractive until junior comes around. Then there is not even a address for the welfare check. "uh yea just deliver it to the green boat on the blue tacoma. It'll be at the putin…"


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## jmack (Jun 3, 2004)

kayaklifeislife said:


> The problem is a lot of kayakers are really attractive.


Guilty as charged.


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## kayaklifeislife (May 12, 2015)

Jhit said:


> Yea they are attractive until junior comes around. Then there is not even a address for the welfare check. "uh yea just deliver it to the green boat on the blue tacoma. It'll be at the putin…"


What's wrong with living out of a car? I ain't fancy. I say embrace the dirtbag lifestyle if you're gonna do it, do it right.


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## kayaklifeislife (May 12, 2015)

jmack said:


> Guilty as charged.


Dry tops and PFDs* are pretty damn sexy. 
Astral to be exact.


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## kayaklifeislife (May 12, 2015)

soggy_tortillas said:


> Meh. Maybe you just have a wandering eye.


Whoa!


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## tango (Feb 1, 2006)

Jhit said:


> "uh yea just deliver it to the green boat on the blue tacoma. It'll be at the putin…"



I know that dude


Sent from my iPhone using Mountain Buzz


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## Andy H. (Oct 13, 2003)

kayaklifeislife said:


> What's wrong with living out of a car?


There's definitely something to be said about owning one's home outright!


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## mattman (Jan 30, 2015)

So while we are digressing from topic as we always do, can we start with some good humored kayaker jokes?
" What do you call a kayaker without a girlfriend, Homeless"

( I still have my perception shock, so feel i can tell the jokes)


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## mattman (Jan 30, 2015)

Andy H. said:


> There's definitely something to be said about owning one's home outright!


Ya, if my girlfriend didn't own a home, not sure where i'd live!


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## mattoak (Apr 29, 2013)

bystander said:


> I might also note that guys have hidden or downplayed the dangers of kayaking to their significant other for years. You should not be talking to him about your exciting runs, besides a few words of how much fun you had. What happens on the river, stays on the river.


She don't ask, and I don't tell. And when I do tell, I DEFINITELY don't tell about how close to death I came. 

Wife: How was kayaking today?
Husband: It was good. Pretty mellow. Fun. What's for dinner?

Friend: How was kayaking today?
Kayaker: Dude, it was crazy. We ran the class V+ section. I swam out of this terminal hole directly into an undercut and briefly got pinned underwater but was able to wiggle my way free. Heading back for another run this week. That section is crazy scary but crazy fun.


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## -k- (Jul 15, 2005)

If you see a future with the guy, get him on a multi day raft trip with a good crew on Ladore. Maybe you paddle and show off your mad skills or maybe you just hang out with him on the raft. If he doesn't at least come to comprehend your passion for the river after this, send him packing. Also, if he incessantly complains on the trip and can't get along with your crew point him to the nearest hike out.

Otherwise see option Grif.


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## yesimapirate (Oct 18, 2010)

Lots of rock climbing to be had that can only be accessed via river.


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## kayaklifeislife (May 12, 2015)

-k- said:


> If you see a future with the guy, get him on a multi day raft trip with a good crew on Ladore. Maybe you paddle and show off your mad skills or maybe you just hang out with him on the raft. If he doesn't at least come to comprehend your passion for the river after this, send him packing. Also, if he incessantly complains on the trip and can't get along with your crew point him to the nearest hike out.
> 
> Otherwise see option Grif.


Hahahaha that's seems like the most logical decision send him hiking if he can't even river.


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## kayaklifeislife (May 12, 2015)

mattman said:


> So while we are digressing from topic as we always do, can we start with some good humored kayaker jokes?
> " What do you call a kayaker without a girlfriend, Homeless"
> 
> ( I still have my perception shock, so feel i can tell the jokes)


Sounds about right.


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## kayaklifeislife (May 12, 2015)

yesimapirate said:


> Lots of rock climbing to be had that can only be accessed via river.


hmm that's a good bargain.


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## ag3dw (May 13, 2006)

Hey Girl, be careful not to create a monster. My wife started me in kayaking many years...uh decades ago and now I boat way more than her. Because of course it is one of the coolest funnest sports around. The last couple of springs she has said she might not want to boat any more but then I get her out and she sees that it is one of the coolest...

But then again, I wanted to learn kayaking and had done some canoeing so. 

Now she wants to mtb even more than I do! Aren't relationships fun!


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## LSB (Mar 23, 2004)

All my wife wants to do is ride her horses. All I want to do is run rivers.
We've gotten along fine with that for 17 years. 
In fact we dig the fact that we have our own interests and don't feel the need to force them on each other. 
When she did try kayaking it sortof took the fun out of it for me because I was worried about her.
Now I plan the float trips and she handles the pack trips and we both can go on each other's adventures when we choose.
It gives the kids options too.


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## spencerhenry (Jun 21, 2004)

like i said a few days ago, dump him. it isnt worth the effort.


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