# Bootie=beer protocol for non-drinkers?



## Anchorless (Aug 3, 2010)

Will any alternate beverage suffice?


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## hojo (Jun 26, 2008)

Milk.


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## GPP33 (May 22, 2004)

I don't know, don't paddle with people who don't drink beer. You can't trust them.


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## Rojo (May 31, 2012)

The term "Bootie-Beer" already causes a smirk.
Now looking at HOJO's avatar and seeing the suggestion for "milk" made me laugh out load.

:idea: Just had an epiphany to try syrup next time for body shots.:razz:


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## MT4Runner (Apr 6, 2012)

My kids drink bootie root beers.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nt7Ukz5Hnkk

You're still consuming a beverage out of a piece of footwear containing questionable riverfunk.


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## MT4Runner (Apr 6, 2012)

Movie Moment #3: Grown Ups - 48 Months - YouTube


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## oarframe (Jun 25, 2008)

get them to buy you an icecream...


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## Favre (Nov 17, 2010)

Squirtgun!

That's where you shotgun (cut a hole open on the side of can) a Squirt. Squirt is a citrus soda in case you aren't familiar. Standard protocol.

Or milk from the bootie works.


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## smauk2 (Jun 24, 2009)

Anchorless said:


> Will any alternate beverage suffice?


Yes! Always appease the river-gods.


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## johnovice (Jul 17, 2009)

First, blow a lot of smoke into a bootie, then pass it.


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## glenn (May 13, 2009)

grandma's boy - YouTube


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## lemsip (Sep 11, 2009)

MT4Runner said:


> My kids drink bootie root beers.


Awesome! my daughter swam on Sunday, once she gets over the bronchitis and pinkeye, she's downing a rootie beer.


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## Anchorless (Aug 3, 2010)

Lol. Who carries milk along boating?


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## Rojo (May 31, 2012)

Anchorless said:


> Lol. Who carries milk along boating?


Check with hojo :-o :-o.

Ironic that I can't keep our usernames apart.


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## hojo (Jun 26, 2008)

Anchorless said:


> Lol. Who carries milk along boating?


I was wondering when someone would pick up on that.


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## adgeiser (May 26, 2009)

Not that I'm a non drinker...

But I have done it with Gatorade when nothing else was available. 
( I will be posting my last booty beer.... Last Thursday, with beer soon on the swim board)

My son has done dr pepper. 

The point is anything will work the river gods are not that picky, but the ritual Must be followed.


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## yetigonecrazy (May 23, 2005)

or dont worry about doing one, because you dont have to play along with every thing in kayaking....

bootie beers are gross. how about i just enjoy a beer and not put my bootie anywhere near my mouth?


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## glenn (May 13, 2009)

yetigonecrazy said:


> or dont worry about doing one, because you dont have to play along with every thing in kayaking....
> 
> bootie beers are gross. how about i just enjoy a beer and not put my bootie anywhere near my mouth?


Which is why you aim not to swim. Drinking a bootie beer isn't a reward.


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## MT4Runner (Apr 6, 2012)

yetigonecrazy said:


> bootie beers are gross. how about i just enjoy a beer and not put my bootie anywhere near my mouth?


 
Because:


adgeiser said:


> the ritual Must be followed.


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## cayo 2 (Apr 20, 2007)

simply unacceptable not to drink(minors excepted) ...don 't care if it is from a bootie or not*...force a shot of absynthe on tea totalers or administer an Everclear enema..


*actually I do as much as I swim and have nasty Platte foot or jungle rot atheletes foot tropical funk...can 't I just buy the ice cream


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## craporadon (Feb 27, 2006)

Fact: The ritual must be followed

Fact: milk is the preferred non-alcoholic beverage but like pointed out, who brings milk to the river, so ANY beverage is fully legal and legitimate.

Fact: Whatever you do, don't say "I don't drink booties", it's like saying "I have Bird Flu and nobody likes me so stay away".

Fact: I have done a pickled cow ball in a bootie beer for good luck at the beginning of the season. (Thats how Montana rolls). Pre-emptive booties are the ultimate in good luck.

Fact: Nobody has ever contracted Giardia or any other disease from bootie's. I have witnessed over 250 booties and nobody ever contracted anything.


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## lhowemt (Apr 5, 2007)

craporadon said:


> Fact: Whatever you do, don't say "I don't drink booties", it's like saying "I have Bird Flu and nobody likes me so stay away".


I'm fine with no one liking me because I do not do bootie beers. ;^)


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## brenda (Aug 10, 2008)

I think whatever drink it is will be OK. The point is...punishment for swimming. It's the bootie that's gross, more than what's inside it. I drank a cooler out of my bootie last time I swam. What a way to wreck a nice cool cooler. Good incentive to not swim.


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## yak1 (Jan 28, 2006)

“If you're still boat'n you're just between swims.” Corollary: If you don't swim you're not having fun. Another corollary: You can never fall off the edge unless you've had to balance on it. Still another: When you dance on the edge every once and awhile you fall off.
Besides my Chacos don't hold beer so it would be a waste of good beer. I never did figure out what the big deal was. If I had to be rescued I bought the beer. That makes a lot more sense.


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## ZGjethro (Apr 10, 2008)

When did this dumb-ass booty beer thing start anyways? I never heard of it when I was starting kayaking in 1994, and I never heard or saw one through my hard creeking days (95-2007). I know people were doing it by then. I am happy to supply the beer if my shitshow is cleaned up by others, but there is no way I am drinking out of a booty. Especially one with my nasty foot fungus in it.


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## Gremlin (Jun 24, 2010)

Is there such a thing as a "nondrinker" who wasn't once a hardcore drinker? If not, I say you've had your share. If so, have a beer, regardless of the stupid booty.


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## JHimick (May 12, 2006)

I can't believe all the people dissing the bootie beer. The point, as already stated, is to discourage future swims in a way that provides your crew with great amusement at the swimmer's expense. More importantly I see it as a juvenile ritual to be thankful that you've come off the river unscathed after an unfortunate situation. The experience is intended to be unpleasant to remind you of all the pleasant things you have to be thankful for. Drinking gatorade, root beer floats, or candy bars out of your booty is just stupid and no tribute to the river gods. It seems there is some consensus here that milk is the preferred non-alcoholic beverage and certainly seems to be sufficiently unpleasant to serve the purpose. Most people don't have ice cream at the take out so not having milk in the car either is not an acceptable excuse to forego paying your dues. Now quit being pussies and get drinking!


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## cayo 2 (Apr 20, 2007)

to clarify-yeah you have to do it at least once ritually (done it) ..maybe even once a year but every swim ain't no deterrent it is insult on top of injury ...no way after urban So. Platte..though you would deserve it for flipping there, playing excepted...I 'll find another way to pay tribute to Tlaloc...still.insist the drinking part is mandatory


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## Stiff N' Wett (Feb 18, 2010)

What if drinking the beer would result in an extended stay at the county jail. Would a non-alcoholic beer be excepted?


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## wabisabimike (Apr 28, 2010)

A bootie filled with water out of the food cooler.


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## -k- (Jul 15, 2005)

The crew i typically paddle with, the swimmer buys ice cream. I get the biggest freakin Sundae I can find. I think they are sufficiently demoralized by the grin on my face, if not their wallet is.


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## yetigonecrazy (May 23, 2005)

ZGjethro said:


> When did this dumb-ass booty beer thing start anyways? I never heard of it when I was starting kayaking in 1994, and I never heard or saw one through my hard creeking days (95-2007). I know people were doing it by then. I am happy to supply the beer if my shitshow is cleaned up by others, but there is no way I am drinking out of a booty. Especially one with my nasty foot fungus in it.


Exactly! The motivation to not swim is that I've swam before and i know how much it sucks. 

What if i told you there was a "ritual" that said everytime you get a flat tire while on a boating trip you had to smash your hand with a hammer? You'd say, "that's fucking dumb, on not doing that". Well, that's how some people feel about bootie beers.


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## lhowemt (Apr 5, 2007)

JHimick said:


> Now quit being pussies and get drinking!


I can be a pussy because I'm a girl and have my own. Neener neener neener!


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## MT4Runner (Apr 6, 2012)

yetigonecrazy said:


> Exactly! The motivation to not swim is that I've swam before and i know how much it sucks.
> 
> What if i told you there was a "ritual" that said everytime you get a flat tire while on a boating trip you had to smash your hand with a hammer? You'd say, "that's fucking dumb, on not doing that". Well, that's how some people feel about bootie beers.


Simple: if you don't like the ritual, then paddle with a crew that doesn't follow the ritual.

If you jump on the river with a crew who follows the ritual, and they pull you out of the drink, then you damn well better step up and drink the bootie! (or don't f'in swim!)



lhowemt said:


> I can be a pussy because I'm a girl and have my own. Neener neener neener!


You didn't say whether you were a ritual follower or not.



Just being a dick.

neener neener neener! :lol:


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## lhowemt (Apr 5, 2007)

MT4Runner said:


> You didn't say whether you were a ritual follower or not.


Yes I did! See post below, in response to non-bootiers having no one like them. I am a non-bootier and I am fine with that......

And your comment about people pulling you out of the drink goes back to my question on the swim thread. What is a swim? If I swim/flip and completely self rescue, not needing anyone's help, does that qualify? I'd say no for a bootie, yes for a swim. I've had many swims, not needed a bootie for 4 years then. Whew!


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## LSB (Mar 23, 2004)

Not that I'm opposed to bootie beers, I've had more than my share and I would rather drink out of one those pointy high heel Italian shoes, but I prefer the swimmer to buy beers for the rescuers. Maybe then he can have one to drink out of his bootie or a stripper shoe if one is available.

On a different level. What about beers found floating in an eddy? I believe it is bad kayak karma to refuse a gift from the river god and therefore the beverage must be consumed and shared by everyone in the eddy.


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## MT4Runner (Apr 6, 2012)

lhowemt said:


> And your comment about people pulling you out of the drink goes back to my question on the swim thread. What is a swim? If I swim/flip and completely self rescue, not needing anyone's help, does that qualify? I'd say no for a bootie, yes for a swim. I've had many swims, not needed a bootie for 4 years then. Whew!


No, you need to learn how to roll your Cat.  Isn't that why you got the smaller one?

I'd say if you're a bootier, it qualifies for a bootie. 
If you're a non-bootier, then it's moot.


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## Anchorless (Aug 3, 2010)

My take on the bootie-beer ritual is that it is a river-karma thing. If you're fine defying the river gods (or don't believe in that sort of stuff), more power to you. If your crew, who actually put themselves at risk if you swim, are believers in river karma, the river gods, and all that... and doing a bootie of somethign after a swim appeases the gods and balances karma for them... you're obligated.


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## glenn (May 13, 2009)

Swimming doesn't always suck. I've pulled the plug several times in eddies or pools where I should have just cooled my jets slowed down my thinking and executed a smooth roll. That's where a bootie comes in. As was previously mentioned when the swim sucks it's a great way to reflect on "getting away" with one. When you have a shitty swim a bootie afterwords is like a drop in a bucket in terms of total misery. Quite different than smashing your hand with a hammer after getting a flat.

Do professional athletes (football, baseball etc) do laps/push-ups/bitch work when they miss plays (especially) in practice? Same shit different sport.


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## hojo (Jun 26, 2008)

So, to all those who are suggesting that the bootie is to be avoided and thus, swimming is deterred... THIS: http://www.mountainbuzz.com/forums/f11/2013-swim-board-46301-9.html#post317855


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## adgeiser (May 26, 2009)

Other than the free beer part ( see my latest post on the swim board),

To me the best part of the booty beer is the tension release. After a swim especially on a harder run nothing releases the tension quite like a booty beer. Have you ever seen one done without the rest of the crew laughing their a$$e$ off? Didn't think so.


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## LSB (Mar 23, 2004)

adgeiser said:


> Other than the free beer part ( see my latest post on the swim board),
> 
> To me the best part of the booty beer is the tension release. After a swim especially on a harder run nothing releases the tension quite like a booty beer. Have you ever seen one done without the rest of the crew laughing their a$$e$ off? Didn't think so.


Is that the same dude we were saying looks like Oddball a while back?
He was shotgunning a beer in that other pic I think.


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## GoodTimes (Mar 9, 2006)

ZGjethro said:


> When did this dumb-ass booty beer thing start anyways? I never heard of it when I was starting kayaking in 1994, and I never heard or saw one through my hard creeking days (95-2007). I know people were doing it by then. I am happy to supply the beer if my shitshow is cleaned up by others, but there is no way I am drinking out of a booty. Especially one with my nasty foot fungus in it.


I was thinking the exact same thing...when did this all come about?? The idea must have been bread by kayakers??? I don't remember my dad and gramps drinking out of their nasty ass tennis shoes in the 80's after a flipped raft (I don't think booties were invented yet...except for divers). I don't remember anyone drinking them when I was in my hard-core kayakin' days 1995-2001, 2006-2010.

Now...I suppose if I'm paddling with a hard-core crew that lives by said ritual...and they have to pull me and my shit out of the river...then I will drink my first booty beer by peer pressure ONLY...not because I believe it's "appeasing the river god's" and/or "bad karma" not too.

Foot fungus is nasty yo'...the medicine that treats it is highly flammable


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## JuanRios (May 2, 2013)

lhowemt said:


> Yes I did! See post below, in response to non-bootiers having no one like them. I am a non-bootier and I am fine with that......
> 
> And your comment about people pulling you out of the drink goes back to my question on the swim thread. What is a swim? If I swim/flip and completely self rescue, not needing anyone's help, does that qualify? I'd say no for a bootie, yes for a swim. I've had many swims, not needed a bootie for 4 years then. Whew!


If you pull your rip cord and are in the water thats a swim... if you are in water calm enough to self rescue, then you should have rolled right!?! i noticed how you said you have had many swims, well now you know why... Drink your booties! Ive seen some bad ass rolls from kayakers that only swim if they are going to die, my last trip my buddy's skirt blew off a 20 ft waterfall and filled his boat with water, tried rolling twice but couldnt get it but the third time is always a charm..


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## lhowemt (Apr 5, 2007)

JuanRios said:


> If you pull your rip cord and are in the water thats a swim... if you are in water calm enough to self rescue, then you should have rolled right!?!


I'm on a cat, they don't roll really well......However they make great pfd's and I don't generally have to rely on friends to save my ass. But then I remember a swim three years ago, definitely owed a bootie, thank god that crew doesn't do them. I would have done a 6 pack of booties if the person who plucked me out wanted me to (even though I generally don't drink). So I guess it is all in context, and maybe I just don't have the context with self-rescue.


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## JuanRios (May 2, 2013)

context would definately come into play then, if its just a plain ole cat with nothing on it and you took the hardest line and flipped and you flipped it back over yourself, then I would just try to pretend no one saw haha, but if you did that and the whole kitchen was on your boat, then it would be a different story


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## Andy H. (Oct 13, 2003)

GoodTimes said:


> I was thinking the exact same thing...when did this all come about?? The idea must have been bread by kayakers??? I don't remember my dad and gramps drinking out of their nasty ass tennis shoes in the 80's after a flipped raft (I don't think booties were invented yet...except for divers). I don't remember anyone drinking them when I was in my hard-core kayakin' days 1995-2001, 2006-2010.
> 
> Now...I suppose if I'm paddling with a hard-core crew that lives by said ritual...and they have to pull me and my shit out of the river...then I will drink my first booty beer by peer pressure ONLY...not because I believe it's "appeasing the river god's" and/or "bad karma" not too.
> 
> Foot fungus is nasty yo'...the medicine that treats it is highly flammable


No kidding Jeb. Someone pointed out how it was to discourage swimming again. Frankly, I think that for anyone that's half-way intelligent, getting your ass chundered, beat up on rocks, and coming out of the water damn near hypothermic and then having to chase down all your gear should be enough motivation to avoid a swim the next time if you can help it. And then I think looking back at the rapid with a beer in my hand and going over what happened in detail with my buds, and how to avoid it in the future, would be a lot more productive at preventing a flip the next time around. 

As for drinking any quality of beer out of a bootie, yuch!


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## jlinn (Apr 21, 2013)

*Confession*

I swam but didn't swill bootie beer. One friend, a younger gung ho creeker, gave me a guilt trip about it. Another older friend strongly advised against it for reasons of giardia/other waterborne parasites. I chose to respect my elder. With age comes wisdom right? Perhaps though if one were to quaff whiskey from a bootie it would kill the parasites...I now have no excuse. It seems to me this ritual has little to do with karma or river gods and more to do with brotherhood.


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## jmack (Jun 3, 2004)

Give up the superstitious crap. We do it because it is a fun ritual (more fun if you're not the swimmer). 

Pretty much everyone I paddle with subscribes to the booty beer except maybe Ian, because that would place the North American beer supply at risk, and Kevin because he might spill on his meticulously cleaned camp outfit.

The answer is that yes it's fine to do it with a non-alcoholic beverage. I like to believe however that the alcohol kills the germs in the booty. Along those lines, and in direct contrast to the original poster, I believe that a booty shot is acceptable as a more hygienic option.


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## LSB (Mar 23, 2004)

jmack said:


> Along those lines, and in direct contrast to the original poster, I believe that a booty shot is acceptable as a more hygienic option.


Now your talkin *BOOTIE BOILERMAKER*
YUM


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## hojo (Jun 26, 2008)

*PBR me... um.. never mind.*

Look, it's simple. You either do or don't do the bootie beer. If you're a non drinker and want to do the bootie then you drink what ever. The key is the bootie, or, optionally, a flip flop I guess. F*ing montana boaters  I don't know what all the fuss is about. Adgieser, I'd advise that you implement the "pabst beard ribbon". This way we'll know if your swim is just a pathetic attempt at mooching beer or not!


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## JHimick (May 12, 2006)

hojo said:


> Look, it's simple. You either do or don't do the bootie beer.


Exactly. No whiney excuse about superior intelligence or life experience needed for not partaking. You're not going to get beat up on the playground for not doing what the cool kids are doing. Be confident in your wussiness!


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## Thumphrey (Jul 25, 2006)

however you like to punish yourself is ok, as long as you punish yourself!


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## adgeiser (May 26, 2009)

Love the ProBoater'sBeer (PBR) beard. 


Thinking I need to wear more towards the top of my head though.


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## Avatard (Apr 29, 2011)

I think everyone should just take a turn pissing in your kayak if you are first to swim


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## Tbird (Oct 9, 2005)

*Bootie Beer*



Anchorless said:


> Will any alternate beverage suffice?


Absolutly not!
Even if it throws them into a long bout of alcoholism and potentially even suicid they must drink that bootie beer!


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## spider (Jun 20, 2011)

I drink enough beer weather I swim or not, when I drink it and how is my decision. But beware I am usually the last one up...........


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## caspermike (Mar 9, 2007)

My buddy took a shot out of a strippers butt, bootie beers are the equivalent of eating a fudruckers burger compared to a Big Mac(strippers butt)... Montana... Thank god I didn't have to watch..


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## MT4Runner (Apr 6, 2012)

Bolivar said:


> however you like to punish yourself is ok, as long as you punish yourself!


:lol:

You guys are assholes. I'm going to take up knitting. That crew seems a lot nicer if I miss a purl.






Avatard said:


> I think everyone should just take a turn pissing in your kayak if you are first to swim


 :lol:



caspermike said:


> My buddy took a shot out of a strippers butt, bootie beers are the equivalent of eating a fudruckers burger compared to a Big Mac(strippers butt)... Montana... Thank god I didn't have to watch..


too much information!
:lol: :lol: :lol:


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