# HUGE SQUIRT-BOATING FESTIVAL! OMG!!!!!!



## sgb3000 (Nov 22, 2004)

WHAT: the 4th Annual Rincon Rendezvous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHEN: Friday July 31 through Saturday, August 2
WHERE: just upstream from the Rincon boat ramp near Salida, Colorado

WTF? Thousands of Rocky Mountain squirt boaters will descend on what is arguably the finest mystery-move venue in the intermountain west to spend three days in entranced pursuit of this most hallowed of kayaking tricks. It's a safe, chilled-out spot to spectate or soak yer hed for the first time or 100th time. A handful of squirt boats will be available if you'd like to give it a shot. Just ask! Free camping is available on the BLM land on river left. See map at link below for directions. We'll have some homebrews to sample, too.

PS: Does anyone have a drytop I can borrow? My mustache is so big that it tore my neck gasket when I was last suiting up.

FOR MORE INFO:
http://rinconrendezvous.com
The Angst Squirt Boaters Message Board

PEACE!


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## sgb3000 (Nov 22, 2004)

Derk tried to make it down to the RR a couple of times, but it never did work out with his schedule.

We'll sink a few for him.


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## MT-btr (Oct 4, 2004)

So I heard there was some kind of "mustache multiplier". Can you tell me more about that? If I start now will it help? Is Amy going to have to get in a boat more than once to compensate?


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## sgb3000 (Nov 22, 2004)

MT-btr said:


> So I heard there was some kind of "mustache multiplier". Can you tell me more about that? If I start now will it help? Is Amy going to have to get in a boat more than once to compensate?


It's true. You'll be awarded more points if you have a nice mustache. So you could conceivably win the trophy with mediocre mystery move if you happened to have a really great mustache.

To compensate for this, Amy will have to squirt-boat more than any male at the gathering. Or figure out how to grow a mustache.

The official mustache genesis date was July 6. If you start now, it could possibly help, but we'll have to apply a very complex trigonometric formula to determine how to inversely pro-rate your growth while taking into account your natural rate of lip-caterpillar materiél production.

Does that answer you questions?


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## MT-btr (Oct 4, 2004)

Thank you for the very thorough response.

BTW - It appears that Milo may be attending again this year. Luke?


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## lmyers (Jun 10, 2008)

How many points would this guy get? 








Maybe I should bring him down?


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## aric (Jan 28, 2004)

How are Milo and Luke's 'staches coming along? Will they be able to sink as well?

Aric


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## sgb3000 (Nov 22, 2004)

lmyers said:


> How many points would this guy get?
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Lmyers: That dude could win without even getting in the water. Hell, he's probably won already. He can stay on his couch! Maybe we should call the whole event off. Seriously, though, those stachewings would introduce a whole new dimension of submarine hydrodynamics. Bring 'im down!

Ian: Luke, unfortunately, will not be attending, though he would LOVE to. He and his sister and mother are flying to Maine for the annual 6-week trip on Tuesday, so Dad's batchin' it again.

Aric: I can't speak for Milo, but Luke is sporting a full, dark beard. Odd for a five-year-old, I know. Odder still is that he's got blond hair, so the dark beard at five was a real surprise for his mother and me.


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## MT-btr (Oct 4, 2004)

Milo's 'stache may require a marker assist. We'll need to check M. Gallaghater for the same.

I agree w/ Sam; that dude has already won. The rest of us will be sinking for second place.


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## MT-btr (Oct 4, 2004)

Back to some squirt porn.

Going, going...


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## sgb3000 (Nov 22, 2004)

Check out this awesome footage Ryan Linehan shot of himself at Tannic Compression, a mystery arena at Little Eddy on the West Branch of the Penobscot river in Maine.

YouTube - Tannic Compresssion

See you zombies in 6 days!

By the way, Mike Crenshaw and I just had a great morning session at USS. Sounds like we might have an unprecedented TWO Acrobat cquirts slicing up Rincon next weekend.

Kind bubbles,
Sam


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## Snowhere (Feb 21, 2008)

That's wild! Years back, I ran the Granite, Pine Creek and the Numbers in my 28 gallon Jib. I made the cut above the MoonPie hole in Pinny and mystery moved past the hole. I will have to come down next week and check you guys out!


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## sgb3000 (Nov 22, 2004)

Snowhere said:


> That's wild! Years back, I ran the Granite, Pine Creek and the Numbers in my 28 gallon Jib. I made the cut above the MoonPie hole in Pinny and mystery moved past the hole. I will have to come down next week and check you guys out!


Whoaaa. That sounds scary!

Please do come down.

Here's some more stoke:

YouTube - Mystery Movie


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## sgb3000 (Nov 22, 2004)

Here's your Ctoke:

YouTube - Ian Thomson paddling Ceemweaver C1 squirt boat


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## MT-btr (Oct 4, 2004)

*The Trophy*

To the victorius (actually, not the boy or the Scotch, just the trophy).


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## clamato (Jun 29, 2009)

*Jim Snyder's truck*

You're all a bunch of zombies!


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## aric (Jan 28, 2004)

if you look closely you'll also see Jim has a Rincon sticker in the window. C you this weekend

Aric


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## MT-btr (Oct 4, 2004)

Anyone throwing down for an underwater helmet-cam...so we can find the one that was lost last year? It's gotta have some sweet footage from the last RR.


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## Snowhere (Feb 21, 2008)

Pbbbst... it has to be on the bottom of Pueblo's reservoir by now!


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## sgb3000 (Nov 22, 2004)

Snowhere said:


> Pbbbst... it has to be on the bottom of Pueblo's reservoir by now!


Yep, I'm sure it is.

Lenny and I both have GoPro helmet cams but have yet to figure them out.


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## MT-btr (Oct 4, 2004)

Don't know about you, but Len needs to put his iPhone down for just a minute and read the GoPro instructions.

The weather picture looks pretty good - 77 deg both Sat and Sun.


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## Len (Dec 11, 2003)

MT-btr said:


> Don't know about you, but Len needs to put his iPhone down for just a minute and read the GoPro instructions.
> 
> The weather picture looks pretty good - 77 deg both Sat and Sun.


No can do. I'm completely occupied with the development of a new iphone app that helps the user groom a perfect mustache! Look for it in the app store.


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## Don (Oct 16, 2003)

*Squirts*

Be sure to stop by The North Face booth and grab a sticker. We'll have swag for all the sinkers and little sinkers. Plus, some bigger prizes for the main event! I'll be showing the new Docking Station (super cool family camping shelter) and the Minibus tent.

Peace and see you at the river.


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## Snowhere (Feb 21, 2008)

Is everything going on starting Friday? Or just really over the weekend?


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## sgb3000 (Nov 22, 2004)

I think I need to clarify (mostly for the AHRA, as they've asked me some questions lately) that, despite my efforts to make it sound like an "event," this has typically always been a small gathering of 10 or so squirt boaters, a few spectating friends, and a few squirt-curious folks who come to see what all the hubbub is about. We're all friends and we love it when squirt boating facilitates the forging of new friendships.

We're really just a bunch of lonely squirt boaters trying to feel relevant, as if that wasn't obvious enough already.

This low-key weekend has absolutely NO CENTRAL ORGANIZATION. The people showing up are there to hang out, squirt boat, and/or watch the action (or lack thereof, if we're hitting our mysteries right). Nobody is making or exchanging any money. There's no registration or liability waiver to sign.

Just as my promotion of this weekend as a huge festival is tongue-in-cheek, I imagine Don's use of the word "booth" is tongue-in-cheek.

So, all that said, come on down if you want! The AHRA has alerted me that its officers will likely be dropping by throughout the weekend to be sure we aren't conducting a commercial event, so let's all be _safe_ all weekend long. Folks will start _rolling_ in on Friday and hang out through Sunday afternoon.

SYUTR*

Sam

*See You Under The River


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## MT-btr (Oct 4, 2004)

Lonely? Hey, just because I do my sinking alone 99% of the time, and in near solitude, doesn't make me lonely. I am perfectly capable of being my own best friend (Oprah taught me how) when I squirtboat.

Len - Will that mustache app be out before the weekend? If not, can I get a beta version?


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## Snowhere (Feb 21, 2008)

Dam, I shaved my beard and stash relatively short two weeks ago. From the sounds of it I should of waxed it up months ago instead! Will this app work on my Palm Tungsten? I guess I can borrow some stash extensions from my trusted dog. You will not notice if my normally salt & pepper whiskers sprout some red, will you? :mrgreen:


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## sgb3000 (Nov 22, 2004)

All mustaches with a density greater than 48 follicles per square centimeter must be sanctioned by the AHRA. You must apply for a permit in person at the Salida office and pay a $450 non-refundable application fee. If you are approved, you must pierce your cheek, thread a locking carabiner through, and hang your AHRA mustache permit from said carabiner.


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## Don (Oct 16, 2003)

*Booth*

Yes, by "Booth" I meant my tent. As for stickers... Yes I even have enough stickers for the AHRA cops, but they can not have one if they are wearing Keens! I have quite the sticker collection.

Ooh! Wait how can we tell their cops if everyone is rockin a stash? If we can't come up with a secrect handshake by the weekend, you will have to bring stinky paddling clothes to identify yourself. You can pick-up your bibs at the Beer Garden (Len's cooler).

See you this Saturday (maybe Friday if I can get the pass).


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## aric (Jan 28, 2004)

Len,

You did get ahold of the jumbotron for the 'stache judging and the underwater cameras, right?

Aric


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## Len (Dec 11, 2003)

aric said:


> Len,
> 
> You did get ahold of the jumbotron for the 'stache judging and the underwater cameras, right?
> 
> Aric


Indeed. I'm bringing one of these to install on the island (models not included).


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## MT-btr (Oct 4, 2004)

Which will you sport?

http://www.danielnester.com/uploaded_images/creative-intelligence-mustache-choices-785100.jpg


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## SinkSpots (Jul 29, 2009)

*SinkSpots.org Sponsership*

We were not able to have a SinkSpots Rep there for the event... but have no fear, we have sent a proxy instead: a box full of crappola is on the way out to the Rincon as we speak... 

Good luck during your intergalactic planetary mystery move festival event. May the best zombie win. Drop some mystery bombs out there in the desert...

>>> peace and love from Team PNW

ps. could somebody please set up the SinkSpots booth for us in our absence, and hand out popsicles and watermelon slices as competitors and spectators arrive.... as that is the usual SinkSpots rep duties as a booth attendent. Thanks.


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## sgb3000 (Nov 22, 2004)

MT-btr said:


> Which will you sport?
> 
> http://www.danielnester.com/uploaded_images/creative-intelligence-mustache-choices-785100.jpg


I would like to sport the "walrus," though it's more of a slightly extended "chevron" right now.


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## Snowhere (Feb 21, 2008)

*night of the living dead*

I will rep the 'Chevron' with accompanying chin hair. Do i gain or lose points for the lower forest?

On a side note, it looks like my wife is out of town until Saturday, leaving me with one of our little ones Friday and Saturday morning. So it looks like I will be joining the mystery zombie gathering sometime mid-day. So the question is, what's the camping like? Are you camping at the official Rincon sites? If so I am guessing I need to show up early Saturday morning to grab a site, or do I need to do a 'night of the living dead' grab Friday to grab a site? There are only 8 official sites, so I imagine there will be some sharing of sites anyway. Being close by, I can bring a small charcoal grill with out a problem. I also assume there will be official fire rings there. It is funny, since it is close by I have never checked it out.

Oh crap, I see that officially the 'event is Friday/Saturday. Is everyone going to split Saturday night or are some going to extend the festivities onto Sunday?


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## aric (Jan 28, 2004)

Historically we've always been river left on the BLM land, so no reservations required, though you will want a firepan on that side. We'll be there Sunday as well. 

Aric


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## ryguy (Jan 19, 2005)

here you go


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## riomapas (Aug 29, 2007)

*rincon job*

I will try to find the helmutcam in the Ark here in Las Animas if i have time between making swiss cheese out of an old gas station. It has to get through the Pueblo res dam however which could be problematic...aw the hell with it, i must be just a hackerwannabe zombie, I talked the drillers into going home for the weekend, now I can come to Rincon. Does it count if I can sink a couple inches and stick my head under? My upper is as bare as a chunk of old sandpaper with stunted prickly pear.

later, 
can't wait to come up river friday night, ima gonna be thirsty


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## Len (Dec 11, 2003)

Snowhere said:


> Do i gain or lose points for the lower forest?


lose




Snowhere said:


> So the question is, what's the camping like? Are you camping at the official Rincon sites?


Don't park at the 'official' rincon area off of 50 or you'll have to ferry your stuff across to the action. Instead, you'll want to jump off at Wellsville, cross the tracks and follow county road 45 along the river for a few miles -- you'll see some camp sites on your right and a permanent crapper. We'll be camped on the blm land just downstream of said crapper, sorta near the telephone pole.


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## sgb3000 (Nov 22, 2004)

ryguy said:


> here you go


That's my favorite mustache of all.


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## Don (Oct 16, 2003)

*1500 views?*

This post will get over 1500 views by this weekend. Squirt boating has finally made it big time. Oh no.


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## mr. compassionate (Jan 13, 2006)

Just curious, i'm not a loser mystery/squirt boater who i find on the same level as tubers but where is Rincon and does anyone have any video of it?


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## sgb3000 (Nov 22, 2004)

mr. compassionate said:


> Just curious, i'm not a loser mystery/squirt boater who i find on the same level as tubers but where is Rincon and does anyone have any video of it?


Don't know your past, don't know your future, son.

Rincon is a few miles downstream from Salida.

We would have video had we not left the helmet camera on the bottom of the river last year.


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## Snowhere (Feb 21, 2008)

mr. compassionate said:


> Just curious, i'm not a loser mystery/squirt boater who i find on the same level as tubers but where is Rincon and does anyone have any video of it?


I guess if you can get that loser tube off your head you can actually read this thread and watch some videos!


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## sgb3000 (Nov 22, 2004)

*Brown's on Friday before Rincon?*

Pre-RR Brown's run, anyone? I'll be in a ducky taking a non-paddler down, so no squirty for me. Thinking of putting on around 10.

Call me if interested: 207-233-4630


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## SinkSpots (Jul 29, 2009)

*stro's squirt stache*

check out stro's stache... 
your lucky he's not there for the comp.


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## SinkSpots (Jul 29, 2009)

*video of galigator*



mr. compassionate said:


> Just curious, i'm not a loser mystery/squirt boater who i find on the same level as tubers but where is Rincon and does anyone have any video of it?


heres some video of miles at low water:
Sink Spots v3.0


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## Phil U. (Feb 7, 2009)

SinkSpots said:


> check out stro's stache...
> your lucky he's not there for the comp.


OMG! Where's his PFD and what the hell kind of salad bowl frickin helmet is that?!?!?


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## Phil U. (Feb 7, 2009)

Axually, you/we are *unlucky* that Stro won't be there. A very good man...

Hey Sam, do I actually have to paddle some glitter to enter/win the stash contest? Does using a jimistyk qualify me?

P.


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## whitewater golf (Aug 20, 2005)

*hair boating*

once I consistently sink I'll work on my hair growth, in the meantime just call me "stubbles". but to pre-identify myself as a member I dug out this photo of me when I was doing hair boating.

I've got to go now and look for my grease pencil.


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## mr. compassionate (Jan 13, 2006)

SinkSpots said:


> heres some video of miles at low water:
> Sink Spots v3.0


 
That's pretty cool. What's the longes people stay under at rincon-distance/time? Does anyone ever rub one out while down there?


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## caspermike (Mar 9, 2007)

Does this count as squirt boating?


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## Don (Oct 16, 2003)

*Sure*

Sure does if you did it on purpose, and keep running back up to try it again and again hoping to stay under longer. If not than you just subbed out.


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## SinkSpots (Jul 29, 2009)

*free downtime on craigslist*

whoa....
free downtime for mystery zombies


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## sgb3000 (Nov 22, 2004)

What a weekend.

Just. Yeah...


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## Snowhere (Feb 21, 2008)

sgb3000 said:


> What a weekend.
> 
> Just. Yeah...


You bottom dwellers were a sight to not see!:mrgreen: I wish I could of fit in a boat, but my short, skinny ass just did not quite work in any of Linn's glass. Next year I will come with my container of foam and I will be able to shim the 2 inches on both hips and the 4 inches in the back of Linn's second boat to make it work. I feel like I just climbed a 5.11 barefoot from trying to get in the smaller boat, my legs were not long enough to make it to the foot bumps! 

Still, it was great to watch the masters at work. That and I drank enough home brew to make me feel it the next day!  Now I just need to find someone selling a used glass boat that is 5'5" and 135lbs and I will be set for next years squirting man festival!


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## sgb3000 (Nov 22, 2004)

*Greeting from Sinky Colorado*

Wish You Were Here!


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## mattyb (Oct 31, 2003)

Sorry I missed Saturday night. So nice to hang with all you squirting dorks and remind myself that I'm not alone. Thanks again!


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## T-ROY (Mar 11, 2004)

This was my 1st Rincon Rendezvous and other then when I was sick, I had a blast. Didn't get much time in a boat but had great time camping, swapping stories, roasting marshmallows, etc... I'll be back for the 5th annual Rincon Rendezvous for sure.


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## MT-btr (Oct 4, 2004)

Another AWESOME weekend of bubble viewing! Thanks all.


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## aviyaker (Sep 20, 2007)

Its was my first time in a squirt boat and I loved it! Thanks to everyone for their help and encouragement. I put together this quick little video, I have lots of footage left to put another video together of everyone else, I hope to have it up in another day or two. 

Thanks again hope to paddle with you guys again soon,
Daniel:-D 
[email protected]

daniel in a squirt boat on Vimeo


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## sgb3000 (Nov 22, 2004)

Daniel, nice work! I missed your first mystery, so I'm glad it was captured on video. Nice one! That was a blast. Let's do it again!

-Sam Bass


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## riomapas (Aug 29, 2007)

Daniel, that was great footy, you took the pirouette prize with your black boat. I'm glad you got it on video, because I was crackin up every time you hooked into the whirlpools!

Damn what a great weekend, I feel like there is a new life ahead....

it's good everywhere

miles meltin into the seam like butta'

len's signature dive into the deep

sammy rocketing out of the slab, in the green water upstream of where he went roaming

and hackers at the surface, with out of control concentration, thrashing like crazy just dying to get an eyeball wet

what a bunch of characters you people are

thanks!


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## SinkSpots (Jul 29, 2009)

OMG! did i miss it!? WTF, YO!


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## Snowhere (Feb 21, 2008)

A little late to the game, eh? It is almost time to break out the boards!


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