# Poudre Gnarrows Race?



## [email protected] (Apr 26, 2006)

I figure that maybe I should organize it because if I was there last year i would have won anyway. but I talked to christian and he said he will organize and hang out but won't boat.


----------



## Randaddy (Jun 8, 2007)

Kevin, 

Come take my PM Taste. I'm TL and waiting on the Litman party.


----------



## Paul the Kayaker (Nov 7, 2004)

But won't boat.... giving me the title just like that huh. As the best dressed last year and possibly every year, I think I just get the title! I wanted to be dragged down by my suit to give the rest of you suckers all a chance. Maybe I won't be that nice this year... I hear there is a new line in the "Line" should be exciting! Bring it, and bring your lame shit talking with you!!


----------



## jeffy (Sep 17, 2004)

*Gnarrows? Buckle holder: set date... please...*

Flows are dropin, looks like whiteline has changed, my camera is ready. 

The shittalk should have started by now...


----------



## jeffy (Sep 17, 2004)

Ha .. just saw the other post... I swear I searched. Others were thinking the same... please disregard.


----------



## gannon_w (Jun 27, 2006)

Ha ha...I was thinking last week why has noone started a thread on this yet. What, last year we had a good 4-5 pages of shit talking before the start of the race...Course its bout time I raced instead of just watching!


----------



## yourrealdad (May 25, 2004)

Tom, you of all people have no place to talk. I believe the last time we raced you were in a green boat and I in a kingpin. needless to say the playboater won. Paul, I believe my thong looked bigger and better than your suit. Lets get this shit agoing. Sunday afternoons


----------



## paulie (Mar 18, 2007)

So let us shit talk:
I'm gonna wipe the floor with you Jacobi, Tom your shit is weaker that taco bell fire sauce, the fort boys are too scared of whiteline now that the rock fell over, and for the first time in a few years I am finally somewhere lame like the front range, so get your PBR, key light and natty light ready cause paulie is coming to Larimer county and leaving for NZ with a nice shiny belt buckle to show off to all the kiwi bitches
flame on losers!


----------



## xkayaker13 (Sep 30, 2006)

The race date is pending and will be announced within the next few days... In the mean time, I'm still the champ, Natural Light is still the best, and the granola pussy is still in Boulder. 

Tom, you never beat me in any race, your half ginger, and haven't gotten laid in almost a year.
Kevin, it's going to be hard to race while your serving that jail sentence for child molestation.
Paul, maybe you should try calvin clein cause that other salvation army suit wasn't the exactly the most aerodynamic.
Evan, Kyle, and Marty: You're all basically prehistoric fossils and will probably break your hip before race day so I don't feel the need to talk smack


----------



## Paul the Kayaker (Nov 7, 2004)

Champ that suit was from your dad's closet, your mom thought it looked nice on me so she gave it to me as part of my payment for services rendered, and granola pussy.... Come on do I even need to remark on that? Did I just puke in my mouth a little?

Kev, my thong was so big it looked like pants! "my dicks bigger than a bridge yours looks like a little kids, my dicks so hot its stolen yours looks like Gary Coleman.... ps we got dicks like jesus...." Fill your thong with that!

Paulie good luck in NZ, maybe the sheep will be impressed by your high dollar beer drinking, we still like PBR and don't pretend otherwise.

Anyone else want some of this?? JJ, Evan, Pete (do you get the mountainbuzz down there?)


----------



## doublet (May 21, 2004)

If you want anyone with a decent forward stroke to show up to this race I'd suggest holding it on a weeknight. The last couple of seasons the race was held while most of the Boulder A-team was in the Crystal Gorge, Clarks Fork Box, high Sierra or Winds. 

With all the real kayakers planning actual kayaking trips each of the following 3-4 weekends you have a choice: hold it on the weekend so the Fort Collins punters can enjoy an all-day fashion show or hold it some evening next week so we can count this race as training for some real whitewater.


----------



## Paul the Kayaker (Nov 7, 2004)

The boulder hippie crowd likes to think they would be somewhere cool, but really we would plan it for a weekday and they would all forget and be no-shows anyway, probably at some hookah bar passed out. The defending champ doesnt even want to defend....


----------



## [email protected] (Apr 26, 2006)

I agree with doubley lets just hold it on one of the nights next week, jacobbi you dont need to show up, if you win those 6 year old south east asian boys wont be able to figure out how to get that belt off so your weeknights will be fucked.
I agree with christian the main concern for the fort vets (evan et al) is there recent bout with menopause leaving them with osteoporosis, we have to set up a way to get them to a from the river safely, those sloops are steep. On second thought I don't know if they will be able to make it on a weeknight, doesn't murder she wrote start at 4? 
We don't have to worry about the denver crew showing up (do they kayak anymore?), they will all be down on there hands and knees begging there significant others to be let out to do westwater in october.
To the wyoming boys that might come, well I don't even have to address that because its pretty hard to race when your dick is stuck in a sheep.
This just leaves the boulder boys, since sean lee is probably down in denver blowing kato (with socks on) we don't have to worry about him. Now that leaves tyson and me, I figure tyson will be so impressed with my fiddler crabing that I bust out non-stop for every boof I stomp on all ya suckas heads that he will just stop paddling and gaze at perfection.
Alright thats all I got, hopefully it will work out this year were I can finally take what is mine (maybe the belt will get me laid? I'm not sure how many more times I can put this fleshlight in the dishwasher)


----------



## thecraw (Oct 12, 2003)

The f'd up thing is I DID break my hip a couple years back riding motocross!!! You are killing me with that Christian. OK, I am old now. Damn that happened fast.


----------



## caspermike (Mar 9, 2007)

tom its not a race if you show up for a solo lap..... sandbagger... cant make it. in 2 weekends i say fuck the poudre race christian quit with the buckle, Time to amp it up to a new event.. 1st annual Bluegrass Giant Slalom. run the stout... with some bros drink some brew and finish it up with a main event lap? sounds like more fun than mish hippies and tom put together


----------



## jeffy (Sep 17, 2004)

caspermike said:


> tom its not a race if you show up for a solo lap..... sandbagger... cant make it. in 2 weekends i say fuck the poudre race christian quit with the buckle, Time to amp it up to a new event.. 1st annual Bluegrass Giant Slalom. run the stout... with some bros drink some brew and finish it up with a main event lap? sounds like more fun than mish hippies and tom put together


I knew that was coming.


----------



## yourrealdad (May 25, 2004)

Man I don't care which night it is held, but the river is dropping and I want a real race. I don't want to hear CM say that he was worn out from sheering too much cotton or you Boulder boys saying that you didn't have enough energy cause you couldn't find you favorite vegan gluten free granola in the morning. Fuck, Christian granola pussy? When I eat granola it is with some yogurt so now you got me thinking that you are going down on some dreaded up chick with a little too much yeast in the dough, but "Don't worry baby, its all natural. Mother nature will make it go away in two weeks." Denver boys, please you all sold your souls to become lawyers or something so you can impress 45 year old cougars at the vodka bar (dill pickles mutha fuckers). Confluence aint going to train you for shit.

The buckle is mine and don't worry about taking it off Tom, Fort Collins has been treating me so well that I don't have time to take the pants off anyways. That why they invented a zippered fly.


----------



## milo (Apr 21, 2004)

*...............*

.........good shit kids......does the winner get a new GI JOE collectors set?....Xhairboater14, you into wookie bush now?....you a boulder "bush pilot"[email protected], get your boy back in line...friends doen't let friends go wookie!!!!!!....just got a cramp from hiding under the bed and trying to type, scared.....and notmydad, put some big boy underwear on and join the kids when they come out to montrose in a couple of weeks.....milozanolddick


----------



## caspermike (Mar 9, 2007)

jeffy looks like you are racing this year. Balls finally drop? going for a personal 1st D on the narrrows, sickness


----------



## xkayaker13 (Sep 30, 2006)

The date has been set...

On Saturday July 31st, 2010 the official 5th annual "Gnarrows Race" will commence at the early hour of noon.

Bring your friends, family, natural lights, and vegan girlfriends!

Be there, or be square.


----------



## funkins (Jun 24, 2005)

Where's the afterparty going to be at?


----------



## bolsito (Aug 26, 2007)

The Mish! I wanna throw some hippies in the river!


----------



## yourrealdad (May 25, 2004)

Not to be a pain but Christian can we hold it at say 2ish? If it is noon I have to take the whole day off of work which is not easy. Afternoons off are much more available?


----------



## ross (Oct 19, 2006)

this is gold... pure gold. I feel like I need to come teach you weekend warriors how it's done! keep this shit talking going.


----------



## xkayaker13 (Sep 30, 2006)

If there's an overwhelming need to have it at 2 pm we can do that but for now it's still at noon.

Ross you better not be coming over to my front-range turf; you just stay on your side boy. IF anything I'll be coming over to your side showing you how a true man boofs zute!


----------



## paulie (Mar 18, 2007)

Yourreallittlesister- get that 'taste' done early and bike your way up from BTO, I know you have done it before, and Ross- describing the narrows as 'mank', junior we need to show you how the 'range' mank really goes down come on over, I'd love to see you try bud


----------



## ross (Oct 19, 2006)

xkayaker13 said:


> If there's an overwhelming need to have it at 2 pm we can do that but for now it's still at noon.
> 
> Ross you better not be coming over to my front-range turf; you just stay on your side boy. IF anything I'll be coming over to your side showing you how a true man boofs zute!


I don't know if you really want to try boofing Zute any bigger than that but go for it, I'd love to watch and hand you the bottle of advil at the take out! 

Paulie, don't make me come show you how it's done!


----------



## caspermike (Mar 9, 2007)

real daddy its cool the champ doesnt understand your pain he doesnt boat anymore.. ill be on my way to my bachelor party at gore.. gore laps, more beer, more fun.. and theres actually water. poudre race is gonna be lamer than christians granola. if anybody is down for throwin some gates up on bluegrass and having a killer time let me know..seems like it might be to much of a run for most of you anways gates would just add to the dismay. or we could have a rule that swimming thru the gates is allowed.... fuck the mish


----------



## doublet (May 21, 2004)

3 things:

1.) The level of shit talking in this thread is pretty weak. This is supposed to be the best shit talking thread of the year and it's turned into a thread for Caspermike to promote a different (and probably lamer) race that probably won't happen anyway. 

2.) I'll miss the race again this year because I'll be kayaking somewhere way sicker. Normally if you aren't coming to the race you can't talk trash in the thread...but c'mon someone has to stir shit up!

3.) I'd like to hit a couple of Narrows laps sometime this week if someone would like to get some training in. Can do early morning or evenings. Lemme know if you'd like to get out.

4.) Whoever wins this year can go ahead and talk smack but deep down you'll know that most of the Front Range talent was exploring sicker places and you just managed to beat a bunch of banana-hammock wearing raft guides, some elderly folk and Caspermike.


----------



## caspermike (Mar 9, 2007)

doublet what ever that lame ass means. bluegrass creek is on a uncomparable level to the poudre aka poop shoot. 

#2 you shouldnt use numbers to act like a bad ass. we have all seen fight club and its fucking gayer than your father..

and training for the aka lamest race in the west. is lamer than admiting you quit boating!

as of now looks like i might actually make it if im not to busy actually kayaking.. be at gore this weekend. for the partiers.. no Mish Hippies which is about the only people who will probably attend.. besides Mr. DoublJackson get trained up homeboy. so i can stomp a boof over your head on the "new 5++ blackline"

looks like we are planning a bluegrass trip this weekd if anybody would like to get on bluegrass this week. i know theres some more unemployed/caregiver type people with some time on their hands. First time i hit BLuegrass was with Derk so i like to keep this run in the now and get some more peeps up here for a really grand time. if you would like to step it up a level and like what the bible says about bluegrass than dont beafraid. lets go boating..


----------



## Paul the Kayaker (Nov 7, 2004)

1) Ya claiming you are going to be "somewhere cooler" is gay considering you will probably be sleeping in, in your boulder rental. Go fucking rock climbing or something, you know you can't handle this shit. 

Two..... Training laps? Even gayer than your imaginary cooler place. You talk shit then ask the FTC crew to take you up the narrows and show you the lines so you can train for a race you won't show up to anyway...

3 - I agree with SwimmerMike, numbers or bullets are just as gay as your crashpad mattress 

Four: You wish you could fill out a banana hammock..... Sorry I feel bad for you...


----------



## caspermike (Mar 9, 2007)

thats swimmarmike


----------



## RiverWrangler (Oct 14, 2003)

Every year the jokers come out, get stomped and swim, then complain about how lame the race is, or are too pussy to show up in the first place but still can't refrain from talking shit. Ridiculous if you ask me.

Casper - last year you got boofed on by a girl and swam. Nothing to be ashamed of, but it does make you calling the race "lame," kind of suspect. 

Tyson - not everybody can make the race no matter what day it is, it's a simple fact, but I'm pretty sure there has been a year since the race's inception where you could've come. Instead you went to run Eldo at 78 cfs, cause that's what pussies in Boulder do after finishing up their tie dying parties and wrestling girls with more armpit hair than me (and I'm pretty hairy). You can't come, nobody cares and you wouldn't have a shot in hell anyway.

Ronto - one word. Lander. You're a sheep fucker now, plain and simple and you've paddled three times this year all in your playboat. Not good signs. But you're right, training laps aren't just gay, they're borderline illegal. Too many and you could be disqualified.

Jacobi - luckily you're not a sheep fucker. Unfortunately your a pedophile and will be banned from the race. Eight year olds dude.

Ross - c'mon out, but first things first, the Poudre ain't nothin like your swank ski-town, plastic castle, wish we were a swiss village, fur wearin, stones throw from I-70 life. There's real cowboys here and they ain't afraid to spit chaw on your shoes and even the girls will run you over for fun (see CasperMike). This ain't no Homestake race. Nobody gets paid so the only motivation is to wear the belt. Something your plaid Burton wearing ass probably couldn't understand.

Team Old Balls - I know you're out there, reading this pitiful thread, trying to get the nerves up to race but not wanting to say anything in case you decide that there's just too much gardening to do or that you've got to renew your subscription to AARP. Make it happen so we can shut these illiterate retards up! What's happened to our school systems for Christs sake!

Everybody else - this is boatercross. You could get hurt... by a girl, so save the shit talk until after you've boofed Super Collider with three people at the same time. Just marinate on that for a second, then change your depends.

THE BELT IS COMING BACK TO THE FORT! ITS TIME TO KEEP IT HERE, SEE YOU SATURDAY BITCHES.


----------



## Paul the Kayaker (Nov 7, 2004)

Finally part of team old balls speaks up. Ya one kid and another in the oven, plus male pattern baldness qualifies you for the next generation. But we'll let you play since I believe your name is on that buckle from your younger more active years. 

Sure I live in lander, my kayaking time this year is low, but I was on the river at peak and went left left at pineview, how many people have taken that line.... other than Brian and Breck....

Thanks for calling everyone illerate too, "your" or "you're"? Just wondering Mr clean... "Unfortunately your a pedophile and will be banned from the race. Eight year olds dude."

You did hit one nail on the head, that belt is coming back to the Fort! 

And ps Kevin sleeps with hot 18 year olds and patrick's sister, not 8 year olds...


----------



## JJH (Oct 14, 2003)

Ohhh, it is on. If I only had time to write a blog about this...

But I don't.. cause, I gots to get paid.

But I am sure one of you Dbags can write all about my win on Sat night..


----------



## caspermike (Mar 9, 2007)

stafford thanks for stalling the event a bit and than thrown me in your heat. making it possible to sandbag the premlims..what happened to those fort boys last year?

the todd, natalie, mash up wont happen this year nobody will beable to keep up.. youll be to busy thinking about how cool your thongs and ties are. 406 representing.. 

lander isnt to bad if you got a nut sack between your legs.. im calling you a pussy landerpuss


----------



## [email protected] (Apr 26, 2006)

You wyoming boys keep talkin shit, while we come up there and 1st d your creeks while your gay asses are still throwing a hip thrust with your boyfriend at the casper playpark.
I'm too with tyson, but I think during the race we will probably be at about 12000 feet on some obscure run in cali that might be OK.


----------



## Paul the Kayaker (Nov 7, 2004)

Ya lander is bad, I want nothing to do with it, come back at that. And 1st d's tj? Please! I wouldn't count being in cali and fluffing from your knees in some LA suburb basement as a first decent....


----------



## caspermike (Mar 9, 2007)

tom what creek in the 307 have you claimed anything on besides a personal 1st d?
funnier shit than turkey gurl. anyways. its not hard they are easier to find than a 20 dollar whore in boulder(your mom)

we got Mr jackson himself and Tao Racing at this years poop shoot classic. for real, real gay tom


----------



## doublet (May 21, 2004)

Finally, this thread starts to deliver. Evan proves that even though he's old and bald he can still talk shit with the best of them. If shit-talk=forward-strokes he'd be a contender.

Yo Casper check this: The Colorado Kayak Chronicle: Sneak Peak: 1st Descent - Upper 8 miles of the North Fork Little Wind River. Wigston had to come out of retirement to first d your shit. 307=weak.


----------



## caspermike (Mar 9, 2007)

caspar lives in the 406, and acutally i can see why they left that section for first d status... the lower shits the shit you want to actually run by looking at those pics.. thats good though.. have at it. survivor goat that shiiat boys


----------



## Marty (Oct 14, 2003)

Why the fuck should I give up hanging with my kids for the weekend to babysit you lot. Quite frankly, my 5 year old daughter would whip all your lame asses. JJ's daughter would come in a close second. Evan's would be in next, judging current form. When we get off we'll have a bevy or two and snap some shots the rest of you suckas kayaking or swimming your way down. Could be wrong about that as some are likely to be walking the road by then...

SYOTR

Marty


----------



## caspermike (Mar 9, 2007)

the only one be walking the road is you ol man.., its on ,im there. driving 24 hours thru the night uphill toget there but im there. redemption is mine when i drive back to the 406 with a peice of front range gold. i got one thing in my eye and its that belt buckle.. its going to be a race against myself. cutch and stafford are just about as old and washed up as lotsa.

nobody to even worry about since gilman isnt showing up and christian has gone granola.

better engrave it early for me so i got a nice a shinny buckle for the wedding..
engrave it with
Caspar"Fucking"Mike


----------



## Marty (Oct 14, 2003)

ha, you wish!


----------



## [email protected] (Apr 26, 2006)

I'm not coming so you can all consider it racing for a glorified 2nd, but somebody better be taking some pics and someone better be dropping a sick fiddler-crab (mike maybe a little practice for the wedding night?). 
Will anyone be able to beat this ultimate fiddler, from the recently retired christian "the fiddler-crabber" cook?


----------



## JCKeck1 (Oct 28, 2003)

YES!!! That shit is so sick!!!! Photo of the Year! The brown claw is gay and has been retired right there!


----------



## caspermike (Mar 9, 2007)

ahah what the hell is that..besides a gay ass ymca off the lip,, what is the fiddler crab? and how can it successfully be thrown o master of the wyo 1st decents..

shouldnt the fiddler crab have one giant arm and one useless puny arm? fiddler crab kinda reminds me of pretty mouth and douling banjos, your real dad and those folks..


----------



## caspermike (Mar 9, 2007)

im excited to stomp a boof past Ross so i can get some show time in one of his SUPER SICK SURvivor goat specials..

those were your podcasts right.

amp this shit up. the smack talk is as week as all your paddling abilities. do youself and i a favor, send your boats, paddles, skirts, fullface helmets to

420 gallatin river
Bozangeles,Montifornia,


----------



## Cutch (Nov 4, 2003)

Marty, my 9 year old will destroy your 5 year old. 

Casper, Natalie ran you over last year so you kind of lose credibility. This year I predict Tina is going to run over you. It's going to be awesome.

Tyson and Tom, you aren't going, you can't talk shit, and your boof is gay. Have fun in Cali tea baggers. I mean, fiddler grabbers. 

Last weekend was hucking weekend, this weekend is a family weekend with the kids, some filter plant, and a belt to take back home (again). 

I am excited about the new whiteline, because for the first time ever I might still feel like I'm racing by the time I get to Lowers... instead of just paddling it solo like I usually do during the first heat and waiting for the rest of you losers to finish the run. 

See you Saturday.


----------



## caspermike (Mar 9, 2007)

it feels like its the first time cause you got marty syndrome going on.. just to damn old kyle.. 

tina, bring it you have to keep up to run me over..

Buckles going north boys to montucky. nothing anyof you front rangers going to do about.


----------



## CGM (Jun 18, 2004)

caspermike said:


> Buckles going north boys to montucky. nothing anyof you front rangers going to do about.


Casper, keep wishing. I think you better focus on finishing the race first. 

With Doublet and Tom vaging outta the race, I don't think anyone's gonna touch Cutch and Dotcom...assuming Dotcom can finish the race this year (let us not forget that he DNF'ed just two short years ago). JJ might throw up a surprise Cinderalla performance. But I think all you Grom's out there thinking that the belt is going outta state, or that you can keep up with the Team Old Balls Crew better start eating your Wheaties, and maybe work with Lance Armstrong on a blood doping program cause you don't have a chance. 

And if I decide to grace the Poudre with my presence this weekend, y'all are gonna need to find a freakin jet-boat to keep up.


----------



## jeffy (Sep 17, 2004)

[email protected] said:


> I'm not coming so you can all consider it racing for a glorified 2nd, but somebody better be taking some pics and someone better be dropping a sick fiddler-crab (mike maybe a little practice for the wedding night?).
> Will anyone be able to beat this ultimate fiddler, from the recently retired christian "the fiddler-crabber" cook?


There will be plenty.

Highlight reels from the last 2 years:

2009 Race

2008 Race


----------



## yourrealdad (May 25, 2004)

Christian change the damn time!!!!!!!!! 2 o' clock is all I am asking. Otherwise I am out. Its ok though cause i will just shack up with my 18 yr old and push some other rubber. Get that shit right there is a 1 in front of the 8. 
Oh Casper the fiddler crab is what I did to your mom last night. It involves a pinky finger and forefinger and thumb a few holes and a whole lot of your mom screaming "Don't stop Kevin" and "When are you going to tell Mike that he ain't a Bastard child" 

Ol Balls group: it is great that you all are already living vicariously through your kids hoping they can bring your last name honor.

Tom and Tyson aren't going boating unless you all consider dry docking boating.


----------



## boof512 (Oct 26, 2003)

*time change*

I would also like a time change to 2 pm. I can't make the noon start, however that probably will not matter since I am a fat out of shape dad with a ten month old (she would not do well running the narrows)(yourrealolddad;stay away)


----------



## xkayaker13 (Sep 30, 2006)

2 pm could possibly work better for me as well. how do all you chumps feel about pushing it back?

PS Dry docking could possibly take the place of the fiddler crap, but I'm not sure how you would throw it up off a waterfall. Don't understand docking or fiddler crabs? Please refer to the pages below...

Urban Dictionary: docking

Urban Dictionary: fiddler crab

Also, I just wanted to remind you that I am still the current champ and your all a bunch of gapers....


----------



## RiverWrangler (Oct 14, 2003)

I'm down for the 2pm start time but it should be right at 2, so racers meeting at 1pm.


----------



## caspermike (Mar 9, 2007)

Meeting at 1 official. you sausage bathers need quit being pussies I'm boating this weekend so letas make it short sweet hand me the belt and I won't beat you to bad! Chris your just high. Heading to the after party at gore so let's not be bitchs and let's get it on 2PM sharp.


----------



## yourrealdad (May 25, 2004)

Bitches you all ain't shit get ready to lick on these nuts and suck on my proverbial tube steak. I got the afternoon off. I will probably miss a 1 o clock meeting but believe you me I will be there for the race so factor me in to the groups.

Casper Mike you mom is going to be breaking her teeth trying to get get that buckle of my pants.


----------



## Paul the Kayaker (Nov 7, 2004)

Slow jacobs give me a shout tomorrow sometime, lets roll up there in style and in fashion. Take it by storm again as usual! Three high-fives!


----------



## yourrealdad (May 25, 2004)

P to the K,
I will give you a call. Lets meet at the Lust. I have an idea for outfits


----------



## caspermike (Mar 9, 2007)

Kevin if you spent More time boating rather than showing your junk to eight year olds you might have a chance. Any you pussies wanting to kayak tomarrow or today as in Friday we be headed to gore for more boofs Kevin you should take a day to go over basics again


----------



## Awoody (Nov 15, 2006)

I've got other things cookin' this weekend, so all I have to say is you little bitches are lucky. I'm psyched to see photos of the new whiteline eating some of y'alls lunch. 

Seeing the belt buckle go to Boulder was a slap in the face last year, lets keep it out of Montana for christs sake. Also I think Jacobi and Paul need to be tested for performance enhancing drugs and/or blood doping.


----------



## Marty (Oct 14, 2003)

Awoody said:


> Also I think Jacobi and Paul need to be tested for performance enhancing drugs and/or blood doping.


I think everyone should be tested for drugs... paddlers and spectators who are clean should then be given some.


----------



## Paul the Kayaker (Nov 7, 2004)

We are that badass I know, but I promise you it's all natural and powered by old fashioned beer and the future notions of young pretty college girls trying to steal that belt come morning.....


----------



## Toni (Sep 18, 2006)

Just heard that WW Lush is racing this year...y'all can stop shit talking now. She's gonna win.


----------



## holley (Mar 8, 2004)

caspermike said:


> nobody to even worry about since gilman isnt showing up and christian has gone granola.


...and Xavier is going to be out of town, last I heard. Pretty sure if he were there this weekend, he'd smoke all you clowns like a tasty Cuban cigar. Sorry, Team Old Balls, I still love you guys but I'd have to put my money on the X-man if he were in.

I'm bummed I'll miss the show this year, but I can't wait to see photos of Tina and Natalie boofing over the big-mouths. And of course, the the uniforms that PtheK and yourrealdaddy show up in this time. Careful not to overstuff those jock straps, fellas...I hear that too much junk in your spunk can really mess up your sneak line.


----------



## holley (Mar 8, 2004)

That said...if the kid's outta town, I'm thinkin' a member of TOB Poudre Posse is walking away with the buckle. Gotta get it back, boys!


----------



## yourrealdad (May 25, 2004)

You all can breath a sigh of relief, just when I had finally gotten out of work they sucked me back in. Count me out for today. Your prayers were answered biatches.


----------



## xkayaker13 (Sep 30, 2006)

Glad your not coming today... I wasn't looking forward to your leopard print thong this year. 

Also, just wanted to remind you all that If I was racing I'd smoke you like cheech and chong. I'm currently a size 28 and run a sub 5 minute mile.

Your current "gnarrows" champ.


----------



## leif (Jul 11, 2009)

Man, wish I could be there racing on the poudre at low water. Natalie and I are stuck up here on the Slave river, just 92,000 cfs, no creekboating in sight, just nice waves and big rapids. Wish I could be bashing rocks and watching Natalie boof anyone who looks at her sideways. Instead I have to go throw some airblunts, or run the edge or something. In fact, today is paddlefest here, so we'll be competing too.


----------



## crackeryaker (Oct 15, 2003)

Nice Leif!

Thanks to all the guys setting safety and the racers, super fun day!!


----------



## Dave Frank (Oct 14, 2003)

Good times. Now since I go but don't race, I really shouldn't talk smack, but that is not going to stop me.

Lots of good boaters out there yesterday. Unfortunately the cup has gone east. First went to a guy named Curtis from TN, I believe, with second going to Jim Janney ([email protected] CU's brother). It was pleasure boating with you both.

Evan managed a close third, beating out our previous champ, cutch in the last semi final when he flipped and gave away a commanding lead on the very last drop of lower.

White line seems much easier, at least at present flows, with most variables of the route going successfully.

Not that great a turn out. Lots of missing locals, some with really lame excuses, like shopping for new vacation outfits!

Great to see P the K's outfit as usual. I'm sure we'll see pic's before too long. Next time pick one you can boat in.

Nice not to have to look at Kevin's A$$.

Great to see someone I won't mention swim for the second year in a row. We had at least one other swim. That last drop seems to get tired boaters napping.


----------



## caspermike (Mar 9, 2007)

Leif that's great and all but the race is something that involves community and well that better than the slave at 100k so go continue to run escalante at 50 cfs and leave the fun to us! For real nobody cares

Ran 2 upper narrows 3middle laps 10 lower laps on poudre 1 community day takin 2 gore newbie 1 6am lap no scout no portage at gore race morniing 2 laps on bridges at poudre and black rock this morn. Headed for some bluegrass a we speak all in 4 days big deal. Still/made/the race won losers from 5 and a pin had best time ever and used everything I had and swam after crossing finish line big deal. Having blast cause I'm still boating and hitting fremont to btw wwhich is basically the shit.

Thanks for another great race fort guys everybody did well no losers except kevin for changing time and not showing lame


----------



## Nathan (Aug 7, 2004)

Swimmermike can we get that in english? Usually I can decode your posts but with that one I'm just lost.

I know I was a no show we went to bluegrass yesterday.


----------



## RiverWrangler (Oct 14, 2003)

Twas a great race. As always, I heard a lot of "this is the funnest race out there." Especially from the Tennessee boys who kicked our collective asses. Ouch. It hurts. I'm kinda disappointed I got third, ya, cause I wanted to win, but more cause there are some talented and pretty fast, and YOUNG paddlers who didn't show who prolly woulda had a better chance of holdin of the easterners and keepin the belt at least in the state. 

But ya, I beat Cutch, and Casper swam givin it all he had, the losers bracket ruled, especially when Juni swam too and shit, we really did just have a good group come together and race down one of the best backyard runs around. 

Thanks to everybody who showed up makin it a great race, Christian for bringing the belt back even tho he wasn't racin, and to realdad, it's gonna be hard livin down the shit you pulled - changing the time of the race and then not showing! WTF! Keep in mind you are not allowed to talk shit next year which may be next to impossible for you, and is therefore a very fitting punishment.

Cheers to the Gnarrows!


----------



## FLOWTORCH (Mar 5, 2004)

"Went" to bluegrass being the operative word, Nathan.

Ha. When you put it like that Dave it does sound pretty lame..not to mention ghey. What can I say..in a week from now ill be big balling across the Mediterranean in posh locales such as France, Italy Barcelona,Corsica, Monaco and some others..you think they'll allow me in the Monte Carlo casino to rub elbows with famous celebs the likes of Simon Lebron while wearing immersion research? Besides..I've sorta checked out for the season. And with my only real loser-heat competition- realdad gone I figured I'd let casper have the limelight. He seems to be having the most fun and plus he drove all that way. Those looked some big heats too. Nice job Evan gettin on the podium. Lets see p the K's outfit, unless its a cod piece. See you at gore beeches.


----------



## caspermike (Mar 9, 2007)

nathan it translates to more runs than you can pull out of your ass in a week. sorry bro i was on lukes touch screen on a kayak trip not at my house..checking gauges

and bluegrass was kicking this afternoon unfortunately settled for later rather than sooner due to the fact somebody fell in the creek last wednesday and the creek stopped flowing for couple days but flowing again......420cfs perfect level to bad none of you bad ass's were there to fire it up with me..

back home as of 30 minutes ago eating a victorious cherry cheescake beaches


----------



## caspermike (Mar 9, 2007)

one more thing you Poudre folk that hit wyoming on race day are lame! (nathan) the race is killer and you should be supporting that shit or you guys to survivor goat? to bad the belt is not on the western side of North America anymore

Nathan that swim came after a no portage no scout run at gore that morn at 630 race day. im not embarrased to say i swam i shot the beer as soon as i set my boat down, i showed, you, well...


----------



## Paul the Kayaker (Nov 7, 2004)

Great day everyone! Lots of low water carnage!! SlowJ sorry you couldnt make it, I saw your ass on the side of the road by the tall stack of rubbers, I couldnt stop, had to get to the race! Took the stops out though and brought fur, glad no one had any paint. I let everyone else win bwt, just wanted to keep my talents a secret until the timing is right for me to have the buckle, and this year it just didnt feel right, kinda like the last 5 years actually.... But really great race everyone, next year it would be nice to see some more faces. Lots of missing players, especially from the fort, weak showing FTCrew... Anywho, lets get a winch this winter and tip the whiteline rock back up, blackline doesnt do it for me... Thanks to Dave as well, always great to see you out there, and know that there is a little bit of safety somewhere, even though its hard to pick which swimmer or boat to save when 7 people are bashing around in lowers! Swimmarmike, nice try, next year just bring a tube and floaties. Good luck enforcing the no shit talking rule on youcantevenshowup, I'm more likely to get married and have kids... Tina, props to winning the fem division! Cutch, nice piton on the last lap! And to everyone else, good luck in the off season, training for next year starts now! Lastly, Tenn boys, good luck, be kind to that buckle, and bring her back nice and shiny for me in a year!


----------



## AdamG (Apr 25, 2009)

*Results?*

Like Dave, I dont have a say since I didn't race but it never ceases to amaze me how much shit CO boaters talk but year after year, representatives of the southeast arrive and run FDs and win races while the locals can't defend their own turf.

I guess Daniel D was right with his synopsis of CO boaters after all......wait a second, I live here now

Please tell me it wasnt Kirk Eddlemon that won


----------



## caspermike (Mar 9, 2007)

adam you are grossly imcompetent! go dig yourself a hole climb in it and light yourself on fire.. Fun is all that mattered and the race was close to say the least...i didnt now WV and Tennessee were southeast... 

and adam if that synopsis is some colorado boaters like your self are... than sure. Everybody that showed up, had a blast, which kicks ass.

anybody want some Fremont Canyon? the lower 5+ stretch below the 2nd bridge be here all week.


----------



## jeffy (Sep 17, 2004)

*Gnarrows Race 2010 Photos*

Can we run the race in the late afternoon next year? The light was AWFUL for on the water photos, however, I think quite a few turned out well.

There's 250 photos in the following link, if you want a full RAW or high res JPG version of any photo, send me the link to the photo you want to [email protected] and I'll happily send them your way. 

Duncan's photos all turned out well, so did JJ's/Cutch/Evan... I didn't even realize it was Dave Frank till I looked at the photos. 

Precautionary statement: P the K's a$$ included.


Enjoy! Picasa Web Albums - Jeff - Gnarrows Race...

Jeff


----------



## Paul the Kayaker (Nov 7, 2004)

Great Pics!!!! I love it!!


----------



## GAtoCSU (Apr 18, 2005)

New Whiteline looks stout. Congrats to all of the racers!


----------



## caspermike (Mar 9, 2007)

good photos man. anybody else got some good footage?


----------



## Cutch (Nov 4, 2003)

Thanks for posting those pics. It was a great race and a fun time. Definitely a weak showing on the locals part. Fewest number of racers we have had since I first started attending. Kevin is banned next year since after we changed the race time a few Denver paddlers weren't able to attend... and then he didn't show. Huge thanks for Christian Cook (the 2009 defending champ) for organizing a great event, with great style. Dave Frank, thanks for stepping up again and heading the safety crew (or being the safety crew). Adam, you live in wondervu and I have yet to see you on USB, or any first or second descent that I've been on in the last few years. You would be lapping that shit if you weren't such a... but you are because you live in Colorado, and that sucks because we need more strong paddlers instead of no-showing shit-talkers (which I believe was your point). Where are all the kids these days? JJ, Evan and I all have our own kids and are lucky to paddle every other weekend at best for most of the season! We are supposed to suck, unlike you unemployed, kayaking all the time, college kids. Next time I piton, flip and get run over in semi's, I hope to see someone from Colorado and under the age of 25 passing me, not old man Stafford. 

Awesome event. Great time had by all. Even my daughter had an amazing day when she crushed it on Filter Plant that afternoon. Thanks to everyone that made it happen. See you next year.


----------



## South_Lander (Mar 15, 2006)

A good summary of the CO "old guard" aka the dad club. It was great to see everyone out this weekend. It was less than great to see P the K in hot pants. 

YouTube - Dad Life (Father's Day Opening 2010)


----------



## Paul the Kayaker (Nov 7, 2004)

You guys are all just jealous that the hotties in bikini's were gazing in my direction instead of yours.... Not to mention some of your wives glances.....


----------



## jimjanney (Nov 4, 2009)

Loser's Heat Vid: Poudre Gnarrows Race 2010 - Loser's Heat on Vimeo

Adam, yes Kirk won.

Cutch, Kirk has a kid too. I can't believe the old man beat me after I took the lead from him in the finals. That said, we probably wouldn't have been in the finals if the young Colorado locals weren't on the middle kings or hadn't sold all their gear.

Everyone, that's probably the most fun I've ever had in a kayaking race. We may bring a similar style event to the east coast next year.

Cheers,

Jim


----------



## caspermike (Mar 9, 2007)

pure awsomeness.


----------



## JCKeck1 (Oct 28, 2003)

Wow! Quite the losers bracket with tons of changes in lead. Too bad I couldn't make it or the losers crown would have come down to the greatest state of Texas along with the Pine creek crown. Looks like all the best boaters do live outside CO now.
Joe


----------



## ednaout (Jun 3, 2005)

Here are some more shots from race day! If you see one that you want me to email to you, just let me know! Enjoy!

Login | Facebook


----------



## WW Lush (Dec 26, 2003)

I finally did what I needed to do and raced, after talking too much shit the year my badass boyfriend won and I didn’t race. That belt is sweet. He will be doing some training for next year...  Tyson and Tom- Sensai Evan is going to have to teach you two about “smack talk etiquette” and some “racers only” rules to set you straight- I remember my MBuzz reprimand…
That was a blast- I am so glad I finally did it! I wish Natalie had been there- although I am sure she would have boofed on my head or somethin’! But at least the belt would have stayed in Colorado...geez boys...

Lotsa- I ate my steak.

Hail Sensai!

Tina


----------



## ednaout (Jun 3, 2005)

sorry, i heard you can't see the pictures i linked. i'll try to link it through flickr....


----------



## ednaout (Jun 3, 2005)

maybe this works..

gnarrows 2010 - a set on Flickr


----------



## AdamG (Apr 25, 2009)

caspermike said:


> adam you are grossly imcompetent! go dig yourself a hole climb in it and light yourself on fire.. Fun is all that mattered and the race was close to say the least...i didnt now WV and Tennessee were southeast...
> 
> and adam if that synopsis is some colorado boaters like your self are... than sure. Everybody that showed up, had a blast, which kicks ass.
> 
> anybody want some Fremont Canyon? the lower 5+ stretch below the 2nd bridge be here all week.


Mike, races are always for "fun" but isnt the point to win? Sorry, I may have got the wrong impression from all the build up in this thread. 

Cutch, I have yet to meet you on USB either but I've only been there 3 times, maybe next year. 

I'm not hating, was just simply making an observation. Nice work, Kirk!


----------



## caspermike (Mar 9, 2007)

dude its poudre race. not some 'epic' sponser homestake race.. we boof eachother.. winning comes with a little luck doesnt matter who you are.. its cool that you were afraid of cutchs ol lady boofin you. she probably gots more than 3 runs on USB 2. whats that say for yourself.. survivor goat


----------



## [email protected] (Apr 26, 2006)

I can't believe you let that big bird looking mo fo win, wtf? All you suckas are just lucky me and doublet were raw dawging in the middle kings instead with your mom. Now on to the gore race shit talking can't do much worse than last year.


----------

