# serious question about kayakers



## sammyphsyco (Aug 15, 2012)

Dear Abby, A good friend of mine is a kayaker, he's the one responsible for getting me hooked on rafting.
I finally bought a 10.5 raft. Well the other day he invited me on a trip in the spring on some technical creek in Idaho.
He said he wanted to see me "boof" my raft. Should I be concerned? Can he fit a banjo in a piranha? He asked me to "carry some gear" for him. I guess my wife's and my concern is I may be defiled, we've all heard stories about kayakers? Are they true? I want to go on this trip but don't want to hear how "Purdy" my mouth is and I can't really squeal like a pig.
Your thoughts please on my conundrum. This trip sounds like fun till the tent sharing part comes into play.


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## SimpleMan (Dec 17, 2009)

Sleep with a gun. Carry your gear, you buy beer!


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## GratefulOne (Jun 12, 2010)

id be more concerned about your boating skills to run a technical creek in Idaho in spring time...


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## lmyers (Jun 10, 2008)

GratefulOne said:


> id be more concerned about your boating skills to run a technical creek in Idaho in spring time...


X 2

lameness....


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## soggy_tortillas (Jul 22, 2014)

Dear Sammypsycho:
Dude. Deliverance was based in Georgia. The guys were in canoes, not kayaks... And it was the weird inbred locals that raped them and made them squeal like pigs, not their fellow canoeists. 
I guess if your buddy's sittin there playin the banjo at camp and you suddenly hear another banjo in the background, then maybe you should worry.
Sincerely,
Abby


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## Andy H. (Oct 13, 2003)

GratefulOne said:


> id be more concerned about your boating skills to run a technical creek in Idaho in spring time...


x3

You should spend your time learning to run your new boat instead of trolling kayakers. One day the words "grab onto the loop" may sound like an angelic choir to your chundered, soggy, whupped ass.

Welcome to rafting. Take your coworkers out on a few splashy trips and you'll be over the Deliverance-themed jokes by the end of the season.

Be safe,

-AH


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## sammyphsyco (Aug 15, 2012)

lmyers said:


> X 2
> 
> lameness....



I'm new to rafting but not paddling. I have about 10 years of canoeing, currently I have a 13 foot mad river whitewater canoe. We run the creeks here in ND IN THE spring or when ever we get a lot of rain. I'm cool with class II stuff anything bigger and it takes on a lot of water. Trying to navigate a swamped canoe sucks.


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## fiya79 (Feb 9, 2010)

Dear soggypants,

Kayakers can no more change their ways than the sky can change from blue to orange. Beneath their gruff, drunken exterior most are gentle little butterflies that blow away at the thought of getting cold or sleeping alone or running out of alcohol. Keep them well supplied with the things that they need and one day you may find yourself like a flower, wilting in a chaotic torrent and you may need a butterfly to float in and make it all better. 
It is a beautiful symbiotic relationship that inspires greatness in both parties. Both of your species have developed specialized skills and attributes to help the other survive. Respect the grand creator of all that is (Eric Jackson) and you will be fine.

AVB


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## Phil U. (Feb 7, 2009)

I get sooo confused with these kind of threads, and there are a lot of them on this board. I never know who to hate on, or with. I'm a former open boater, I paddle a creek boat 100+ days a year, I've been to multiple Freestyle World Championships to root for my son and many other friends and I love multi day trips whether kayak self supporting or rowing a raft. My gf just got a minimax so I can't even hate on R2ing now. WTF? 

I'll tell you WTF. The rio is what we all love and have in common and if you aren't bringing the love for all your brothers and sisters of the rio then you haven't learned the most basic boating lesson yet.


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## glenn (May 13, 2009)

What creek are we talking about here?


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## carvedog (May 11, 2005)

Whiskey. Lots of whiskey. Bring enough and you won't feel the pain.


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## duct tape (Aug 25, 2009)

Phil U. said:


> I get sooo confused with these kind of threads, and there are a lot of them on this board. I never know who to hate on, or with. I'm a former open boater, I paddle a creek boat 100+ days a year, I've been to multiple Freestyle World Championships to root for my son and many other friends and I love multi day trips whether kayak self supporting or rowing a raft. My gf just got a minimax so I can't even hate on R2ing now. WTF?
> 
> I'll tell you WTF. The rio is what we all love and have in common and if you aren't bringing the love for all your brothers and sisters of the rio then you haven't learned the most basic boating lesson yet.


I'm with you Phil. Good stuff. It's still okay to poke fun, with a sense of humor.

I must admit I'm still struggling a bit with the whole Creature Craft deal though....


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## Whetstone (May 17, 2013)

carvedog said:


> Whiskey. Lots of whiskey. Bring enough and you won't feel the pain.


Love this goodhearted shit. And I concur that a quantity of quality single barrel small batch bourbon is the answer. Differences seem to melt away and banjo music turns to smooth guitar riffs.


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## mattman (Jan 30, 2015)

So if you woke up alone in the woods, and your but really hurt, would you tell anyone? "no" Hey, want to go camping next weekend?


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## sammyphsyco (Aug 15, 2012)

Sorry, didn't mean to hurt anyone's feelings. I had assumed this was pretty standard for the different factions of paddlers and oarsman, at least that's been my experience.I'm sorry if I offended anyone.


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## mattman (Jan 30, 2015)

That's Hilarious!!.Last option on form is probly the best. 
happy boating!!


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## bluebtr (May 27, 2011)

Whetstone said:


> Love this goodhearted shit. And I concur that a quantity of quality single barrel small batch bourbon is the answer. Differences seem to melt away and banjo music turns to smooth guitar riffs.


Hate and negative attitudes suck, small batch bourbon while sitting on any boat does NOT suck!;-)


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## M-Train (Mar 28, 2008)

I'm not sure people are "butthurt" as much as unamused. Wasn't "Deliverance" released about 40 years ago? The rape jokes are just as played out as the rafter/kayaker rivalry debates. Your smack is weak! Hope you're rowing skills are better than that.


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## treemanji (Jan 23, 2011)

sammyphsyco said:


> Sorry, didn't mean to hurt anyone's feelings. I had assumed this was pretty standard for the different factions of paddlers and oarsman, at least that's been my experience.I'm sorry if I offended anyone.


The only person that's going to be butthurt at the end of this trip is you. Unless you take a page from dick n bush in the early 2000s and stage a preemptive strike, then your kayak buddy can answer his buddies' serious questions about canoers turned r2ers.


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## treemanji (Jan 23, 2011)

Andy H. said:


> an angelic choir to your chundered, soggy, whupped ass.
> 
> 
> -AH


Someone's mind has drifted into the gutter.


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## BilloutWest (Jan 25, 2013)

GratefulOne said:


> id be more concerned about your boating skills to run a technical creek in Idaho in spring time...


You should be equally concerned that your Kayaker _friend_ isn't concerned about your boating skills to run a technical creek in Idaho in spring time. That he is looking for an entertainment and support package and not concerned about your boating skills to run a technical creek in Idaho in spring time means he sees you as a sap.


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## PhilipJFry (Apr 1, 2013)

sammyphsyco said:


> I'm new to rafting but not paddling. I have about 10 years of canoeing, currently I have a 13 foot mad river whitewater canoe. We run the creeks here in ND IN THE spring or when ever we get a lot of rain. I'm cool with class II stuff anything bigger and it takes on a lot of water. Trying to navigate a swamped canoe sucks.


whitewater and ND don't go well together, you have to have some elevation change to move the water.


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## mikepart (Jul 7, 2009)

sammyphsyco said:


> Sorry, didn't mean to hurt anyone's feelings. I had assumed this was pretty standard for the different factions of paddlers and oarsman, at least that's been my experience.I'm sorry if I offended anyone.


Making fun of kayakers is a fine thing to do, but Deliverance jokes just piss me off. Anyone who has ever had to lug a raft full of tourists or idiots down a river has endured far too many stupid Deliverance references. That right, just hum "Dueling Banjos" one more time with that stupid smirk on your face...

Oh wait, I get it, we are on a river trip. Deliverance was set on a river trip, and anal rape is funny. ha ha 

Seriously, that shit wasn't funny the first time I ever heard it. Just let it die, please.


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## FastFXR (May 22, 2012)

mikepart said:


> Oh wait, I get it, we are on a river trip. Deliverance was set on a river trip, and anal rape is funny. ha ha
> /QUOTE]
> 
> Rape? I like rape.
> ...


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