# Gaper Alert!



## WhiteLightning (Apr 21, 2004)

With any luck, they will scare away the locals and the FRs and leave the better stuff empty.


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## paddlebizzle (Oct 15, 2003)

Dempsey eats babies.


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## WhiteLightning (Apr 21, 2004)

50,000 battered women, and I've been eating mine plain?


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## howlie (Nov 24, 2003)

True! I took my sister skiing and she sucks. But this allowed me to really slow down and watch what goes down on the hill, aka intermediate style terrain. I was fricken scared out of my mind, more so for my sister. I thought for sure she was going to die. You hear about those who die from accidents on the hill such as hitting a tree, or another person. I recall we usually have somewhere between 3 to 7 fatal accidents a year. After what I saw, I wonder how many close calls there are. I saw one guy straight line every little jump he could find, no regard for others and had a graceful cat out of the window style to compliment his wa-hoo off every jump. No Shit- this guy took his last jump right beside me as I was waiting for my sister and went huge, I mean HUGE. He had no idea what he was in for. He had to have gone 30-40 feet, legs and arms kicking and screaming like he was having a temper tantrum in the air, and finally landed, exploding and defining what a garage sale really is. I thought, if he is not dead, he is close to it. I was so disgusted with this display, I could not even go see if the guy was ok. I thought whatever this guy is going through, he deserves it. 

I think someone mentioned something like this on the buzz about some wacko getting in some kind of flotation devise with no gear, no helmet, and was about to drop a class IV, with his dog. The guy could not figure if he should help him, or let him suffer the consequences. He ended up stopping to see what happened and sure enough, he had to help the clueless as he ate shit. After seeing this guy almost kill other people, my sister, and himself, I walked over to patrol as they assisted this guy and asked him if he was hurt. Not seriously was there response. I am thinking, dammit. So I told the guy he was an idiot, and continued on. Not my most virtuous moment, but I seriously wanted this guy to learn a lesson, and I am not sure if he did. What happened to the common sense in people? Is there such thing as common sense inept. I would have to say yes.


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## Andy H. (Oct 13, 2003)

Common sense is not so common. --Voltaire

I'm staying off the major resort hills until after new years.


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## dvanhouten (Dec 29, 2003)

Ahhh, one of the reasons I left Colorado. Stick to the backcountry or go out of state!!!


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## heliodorus04 (May 31, 2005)

Maybe (probably) I'm too dumb to know what danger looks like out there, but as a first season guy on a mountain covered in crystalized water, I've felt like people gave me enough space except for once.

But I'm making a point of not going on Saturday/Sunday, unless it's an actual holiday.

I guess I try not to look uphill when I'm down - it might be scary.

What are the "rules of etiquette and safety" out there. You know when I started kayaking, the folks who taught lessons, and really any time I went on a beginner trip, we had a safety talk about what to do and how to help/avoid doing harm.

I honestly have no idea what you're supposed to do when you fall to protect yourself and others. I personally go slow enough, and have enough control now on the starting blue runs, that I don't think I'm a threat to anyone who falls below me.


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## newby0616 (Jun 16, 2005)

You know, fellas, it's times like these I'd like to extend a warm and welcoming invite to all you wonderful folks in Colorado.... to come spend a few days in the beautiful, faux-snow covered (we did get a whopping 12 hrs of REAL snow-- yes, measured in hrs rather than inches-- in the mtns of NC Christmas Day-- amazing! ) hills here on the East Coast. Between the shameless gaper-gear (neon-splashed and realtree-bedecked photos coming soon!), "yard-sale" hill (I think I counted 6 people on their asses in the 50 or so yards right behind the "lodge" Sun afternoon?), and our awe-inspiring and truly stunning synchronized head-over-heels-downhill-tumbling spectacles (always best when 4 or more participants manage to coordinate the timing of their routines), it's definitely an experience you won't forget for some time! 

Oh, and if you can catch the right ******* in the perfect state of holiday-induced far-from-home inebriation, we're also offering "Bar Fight Sundays!" in the lodge, on an if-you're-lucky viewing basis..... I sh!t you not, this very thing _just_ happened here on Christmas Day. :roll: 

Nothing like ducking a flying snowboard boot or trying to avoid someone slamming one of his "boyz" into a wall to really liven up the holidays, eh?? Jesus christ.... I don't think I can MOVE out of this place fast enough!!


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## WhiteLightning (Apr 21, 2004)

Helio-

A couple rules of thumb are:

-Downhill person has the right of way. That means look where you are going, and give people room as you approach them from behind, and just hope that others are doing the same uphill from you.

-Give others as much space as you can

-Stay in control. You know the "oh shit!!!!" feeling by now. Try to adjust your speed before you get there.

-Recognize and avoid boarder's heel side as being a blind spot. Don't linger there. If you are a boarder, be aware of this in crowded areas, or on cat tracks.

-Especially on cat tracks, (roads) but also on any run, don't take up the entire run, slowly traversing back and forth at erratic intervals. These GS turns (gaper slalom) can cause frustration from the uphill/behind skiers trying to get past you. 

-Avoid side slipping large sections of runs (skiiers and boarders). This leaves crappy snow for the next guy.

-Don't be an idiot in lift lines. If you have a group of people that is waiting on others, wait outside the maze until your group is together if there is a line.

-Be polite in general. Try not to let your I-25/I-70 driving mindset be your riding mindset. After all, it is supposed to be fun!

-Don't stop or sit in an area where you can't see at least 2-3 giant turns uphill from you. If I see you doing this, I will ski up and politely ask you to find a safer spot to rest, or see if you need me to get a toboggan to you.

-If hurt, make sure someone diverts uphill traffic (just like in swiftwater rescue). You can stab a board into the snow uphill at a blind spot, or crossed skis in the snow is a universal indicator uphill of an accident or injury.

-Ride within your limits!! Just like boating. If there is a chance that you won't be able to make it through where you are going without hurting yourself, or needing professional assistance, then get some more experience somewhere else! Also, riding out of bounds "in the trees" doesn't make you exempt from avie danger. And just because a front range frat kid that just ducked the rope has no avie gear, doesn't mean that you should too. 

-Don't smoke cigarettes in the lift line, on the chair lift, or anywhere near anyone else. People go to bars for that, not the tops of mountains. Also, don't let me catch you throwing cigarette butts, candy wrappers, or anything else in the snow. 

-Never ski at Southeastern ski "resorts" like Ski Beech, Sugar Mountain, or Gatlinburg in NC/TN ever (I'm looking in Newby's general direction). There is a reason hunting, NASCAR, and noodling (bonus points for Newby if she knows what that is, as a true ******* would!) are sports famous in the south--not skiing! I know, because I learned to ski at the places Newby is talking about!


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## WhiteLightning (Apr 21, 2004)

Noodlin: http://www.cabelas.com/information/...r-Catfish-The-Ultimate-Thrill-in-Fishing.html


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## newby0616 (Jun 16, 2005)

WL--
Hey now! I make do with what I have around here, buddy... we don't all have crazycash-flow heavy IT jobs in tony Vail Valley to support our habits, and let's face it, no one here seems to have any cheap ones (well, kayaking *used* to be, but then gas went up to $3.85 the better part of the fall :shock: )! 

Besides, *you* want to go waggle your hand in some dark, sketchy underwater hole and see what bites first (okay, boys.... behave  ), you be my guest. That whole noodling thing is one hobby I WON'T be adding to my list anytime soon!! LOL


(here's the really sad part, WL: I didn't even have to google it-- sadly, and shamefully, I was born in MS after all!  )


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## badkins (Oct 30, 2003)

I was up in Wyoming for Xmas and went to the wildly popular Snowy Range Ski Area, well to be honest it is only popular with a particular subspecies of the gaper known as the cornhusker. You know a resort is bad when they don't release any information on the snow depth or any snow stats at all... As I sat on the lift with my 13 year old cousin I schooled him on the finer points of gaper identification. For the cornhusker gaper you need to keep an eye out for a spectacular combination of hunters orange, carharts, and of course, denim. A fine specimen could be seen straight lining the main blue trail run after run in a classic "texas tuck", skiis 4 feet apart, poles perfectly vertical with the baskets in the air. classic


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## WhiteLightning (Apr 21, 2004)

haha Newby, crazy LOW cash flow! I sleep on a straw bed, and make my jeans out of newspaper. The cash flow is probably 20% below national average, and cost of living is 50-100% higher. Instead of cow milk, we actually drink dog milk in our cereal at my house. You can milk anything with nipples I've been told.


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## newby0616 (Jun 16, 2005)

You know, WL, if the cashflow's *really* that low, I hear you can always donate a few of those "genes" of yours for $$$ to tide you over....?? I don't know anything about your looks, but maybe you can convince 'em you're a rocket scientist or something for a couple of extra incentive dollahs or something??


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## WhiteLightning (Apr 21, 2004)

looks = hobo


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## newby0616 (Jun 16, 2005)

Sweet!! You know that's what *every* woman is looking for in a sperm-bank baby-daddy.... man, you're so set! 

Now if you'll excuse me, I have $10K to make by going and donating that single egg.....


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## BastrdSonOfElvis (Mar 24, 2005)

I'm suprised ol' dubya still allows such practices.


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## dvanhouten (Dec 29, 2003)

Badkins,

Sorry to hear you had the privilage of skiing at Snowy. Haven't been there for quite awhile nor have I seen a Husker-gaper for awhile (unfortunatly I have to claim a couple cousins that grew up in Lincoln). That is how I ended up in Laramie on a 'ski trip'. Hmmmm, that could be an interesting outfit--a big red 'N' hucking into Corbets, and sticking it!


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## badkins (Oct 30, 2003)

> Sorry to hear you had the privilage of skiing at Snowy.


LOL, uh yeah I'm from Laramie so I'm quite familiar with Snowy Range and the cornhusker crowd, shit I was a ski insturctor there my senior year of high school. Actually it wasn't so bad, all the runs were open, there were no lines at the lift, and the gaper watching was priceless. I guess I've become a snobby "greeny"


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